The bird had a death sentence. Mai narrowed her eyes at her "companion", which had been twittering and fluttering around her like some chirpy little shadow ever since she had freed it from the vines in which it had got tangled. This was why she hated acting on impulse. One moment of compassion and this was what she got for it: an irritating follower that wouldn't shut up.
Mai directed her best glare at the little creature. "Go away."
The bird tilted its head and twittered something as if to ask why Mai was getting upset when they were having such a wonderful time together. Mai was reminded forcibly of Ty Lee. The realisation made her sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb. There was something wrong with her if she had started comparing birds to her best friend. Although, the two did have the same obnoxious cheerfulness even in the face of a rising temper.
"Just because you remind me of Ty Lee does not mean I will go easy on you," Mai told the bird flatly. "I will turn you into a pin cushion if you keep following me."
The bird did not seem bothered by her threat. It fluttered and twittered and hopped alongside Mai like a rabaroo with wings. She wasn't even sure what kind of bird it was. The thing itself was about the same size as a sparrowkeet. It had the usual claws and wings seen among its kind, but its plumage was a mixture of snowy white and dusky pink with a curling, silvery crown on its head. She supposed it was kind of pretty for a bird. Not that she would admit as much aloud. She wasn't some silly girl who cooed over feathers and colours.
"Should have left you in the vines," Mai muttered.
Her new friend responded to that barb by fluttering into the air, albeit a bit haphazardly, and landed on her shoulder. Mai glared at the bird. The bird just chirped and nuzzled her chin in what could only be described as an affectionate gesture. Two spots of pink bloomed on Mai's cheeks, though the colour vanished an instant later.
"Think you're cute, huh?" she said, narrowing her eyes.
The bird chirped happily.
"Well, you won't be so cute when my senbon are sticking out of your chest." She flicked at the bird with her hand, making it squawk in surprise and retreat back to the ground. "Learn to take a hint, already."
Unfortunately, the bird did not take a hint. Instead, it kept following her like some loyal puma-puppy, bright and chirpy and very, very annoying. Perhaps it had recognised that Mai's warnings were just empty threats. She'd never liked hurting animals, and she could tell by the way the bird kept shifting its left wing and from how it struggled to fly that it had already wounded itself while tangled in the vines. That said, if she were to be completely honest, the main reason she couldn't bring herself to use any real force to scare the bird away was because it really did remind her of Ty Lee.
Stupid, chirpy, dusky pink thing.
Mai clenched her jaw and kept walking. Time to focus. She was supposed to be looking for traces of their quarry, and spirits knew she was getting sick of this forest. She'd just ignore the bird and hope it would go away. It wasn't like it could keep up with her pace forever.
Except the bird was just as stubborn as Ty Lee. It kept on following her even when the damage done to its fragile body began to take its toll. Mai tried not to notice how its hopping didn't seem quite so bouncy now or how the bird gradually began to lag behind, despite making a few desperate attempts to catch up to her by flying. Instead, she focussed on searching the branches and ground for any strands of white fur that would suggest the Avatar had been in the area. One of the soldiers had seen a large white thing in the sky earlier that might have been an air bison, and so a small group had been sent to investigate, including Mai.
Except Mai had never cared much about the Avatar, and the bird's chirps sounded more distressed than cheerful now. She could still hear it hopping tiredly behind her.
She closed her eyes in a wince. She was so going to regret this.
"Fine," she said in her flattest, most unemotional voice. "You can ride on my shoulder."
For pragmatic reasons, of course. It wasn't like she had gone soft. She was just sick of listening to the bird staggering along with its pathetic little hops and weak twitters. Since it was so determined to follow her, she might as well spare herself that frustration. Or at least that was what she told herself when she stooped to pick up the exhausted creature. It nibbled gently on her finger, perhaps in gratitude. Mai frowned at the bird.
"Acting cute won't work on me. I thought I told you that before."
The bird gave a tired chirp and nestled into her cupped hands, making itself comfortable. Mai felt something warm stir within her like a little ball of … well, something. She could feel the bird's tiny heart beating against her palm and its body felt so fragile and light. Suddenly, she was reminded of that night when she had held her baby brother for the first time. Little Tom-Tom had been just like this: sleepy, fragile, and trusting with a newborn's innocence that she would keep him secure in her arms.
Mai shook her head, snapping out of the memory. It wouldn't do to dwell on thoughts of her family, let alone the past. Thinking of Tom-Tom just made her remember what had happened during that fight in Omashu. (Or New Ozai. Whatever.) It still bothered Mai that she had been forced to refuse the trade for her brother all because Azula had wanted to play her little games. If the "kidnapper" had not been the Avatar and his friends, there was no saying what could have happened to Tom-Tom.
"You know, we were the ones who took care of your little brother back in Omashu. Aang even made sure he got back to your parents safely after you and your friends tried to kill us."
Mai's jaw tightened. The waterbender had made a valid point, and that was what was so bothersome about the situation. Despite the fact that Mai had broken the code of honour by turning on the Avatar and his friends during a truce, albeit at Azula's insistence, the Avatar had still returned Tom-Tom to her family. He and his friends had not harmed Tom-Tom at all. Hell, they'd even changed his diapers and fed him. In a fair world, that kind of selfless act would have deserved some recognition or at least a free pass from Mai to carry on their way without interference. However, because she had already agreed to help Azula, she was now stuck chasing the Avatar. Because she was stuck chasing the Avatar, she also had to inevitably fight said boy and his friends. And if what Azula had said the other day was true …
"It seems my brother has become a traitor to the Fire Nation. From what I saw today, he's sided with the Avatar."
Mai closed her eyes. Zuko. She had tried so hard not to think about him. He was one of the few people who had managed to find a place in her carefully guarded heart. Well, at least he had done so when he had been a young boy, all awkward and shy. She didn't really know anything about Zuko now. He'd been gone for three years and she had not been allowed to communicate with him. The only thing she knew for certain was that he had not drowned like the rumours had stated. Instead, Zuko had returned from his watery grave to betray the Fire Nation and side with the Avatar. Or so Azula had claimed.
"It could be a lie," Mai said to the bird. "Azula likes to twist the truth."
Except Azula had not displayed the usual signs. No sharp little smiles, no cunning glint in her eyes. Just cold facts. Zuko had appeared, challenged his sister to a fight, protected the Avatar, and the Avatar had not hesitated to support him in return. Mai didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to feel. Had the prince she had once admired from afar in a palace garden changed so much? Had he really become an enemy to the Fire Nation?
Something rustled in the bushes. Mai tensed, conscious that her hands were occupied with holding the bird. No time to put it down. No chance to grab her weapons. She'd just have to—
"Mai!"
Ty Lee's sing-song voice broke through the clearing like a burst of sunshine. She bounded out from the trees, grinning and holding strands of white fur in her hand. Mai just sighed, partly in relief but also in frustration that she had let Ty Lee sneak up on her in the first place. Such a lapse in concentration could not be forgiven. Her composure was slipping. It had been ever since she had found out that Zuko was alive, and she couldn't afford that. Not with Azula watching her so closely.
"I see you found some bits of that fluff ball," Mai said dryly. "I guess the Avatar really is back on the move."
"Yup," Ty Lee said, shoving the fur into her pocket. "Though I only found white hairs around that big grassy field. The trail doesn't seem to lead anywhere, and the other soldiers who were searching didn't find anything."
Mai frowned. "Perhaps the bison was just grazing in the area. Judging from what happened last time, it seems the Avatar has realised we've been tracking him using the fur. I doubt he'll make it easy for us to follow again."
Ty lee shrugged. She didn't seem overly concerned with the bison or the Avatar's whereabouts. Instead, she leaned forward with a grin and rested her chin on her hands. "So, who's your new friend?"
"What?"
Ty Lee pointed at the bird, which Mai was still holding. "Little Feathers there."
Mai sighed and held the bird out to Ty Lee. "Here. You can have it."
"Aww, but he looks so cosy." Ty Lee put her face up near the bird and made cooing noises. "I wouldn't want to disturb the little guy."
Mai raised her eyebrow. "What makes you think it's a male?"
"The eyes. Male paratoos have black eyes while females have brown. See?"
Sure enough, the bird—or paratoo, as Ty Lee called it—had coal-black eyes. Well, how about that. Mai had to admit that she was impressed. She had never known that Ty Lee knew so much about birds.
"Plus," Ty Lee said seriously, "his aura is very male."
On second thought, Ty Lee was still Ty Lee.
Mai shoved the bird into Ty Lee's hands. "Whatever. Let's just head back to camp. We need to report to Azula."
"Hey, wait!"
Mai strode away in long strides.
"Don't worry, Little Feathers. Mai might act all cold and distant, but she really does have a big heart. I think she likes you."
"I can hear you," Mai said flatly, making it clear she did not approve of this analysis. "And you'd better do something about that bird. I don't think Azula will appreciate the addition of 'Little Feathers' to her entourage."
Ty Lee cocked her head to the side. "You don't think so?"
"You're kidding, right? You remember what she did to the turtleducks, don't you?"
The turtleducks had been Zuko's favourite animals at the palace. Mai remembered that he had often sat by the pond with his mother to toss them breadcrumbs. However, when Princess Ursa had gone missing, later presumed to be dead, Zuko had been left to feed them alone. Mai had always wanted to approach the withdrawn prince, to sit with him by the pond and toss breadcrumbs to the fuzzy creatures that he loved, if only to restore the smile which had used to stir her stomach with butterflies. But she had never been able to muster the courage. Then the Agni Kai happened and even Zuko was gone.
So Mai had decided that she would care for the turtleducks during his absence. It was the least she could do for the boy who had touched her heart. Except Azula had found her in the garden, and then Azula had—then she had—
"What are you doing?" Mai cried, standing up from where she had been kneeling next to the pond. She could feel her mask of dispassion cracking. Even her hands were shaking. She clenched them into fists in an attempt to still them.
Azula lowered her hand, which still flickered with blue flames. "Just cleaning up," she said coolly. "There's no point keeping these useless creatures around now. My brother is never coming back."
Mai closed her eyes, letting go of the memory. Azula had walked off without a word after that, but the smell of charred flesh had lingered. It was a scent that Mai had never been able to forget, nor the image of the blackened corpses floating on the pond. It seemed that Ty Lee had not forgotten the incident either. Some of the brightness faded from her eyes and her shoulders drooped.
"I guess you're right," Ty Lee said sadly. She rubbed the paratoo's head with her finger. "Sorry, Little Feathers. It looks like we can't take you back with us."
Carefully, she placed the paratoo on the ground. The bird ruffled its feathers and stared at Mai as if to ask why it couldn't come with them. Which was ridiculous. It was just a stupid bird. Just a stupid, far-too-trusting bird. Just like those turtleducks.
Mai turned her back on the bird. "Let's go, Ty Lee."
"Alright."
Ty Lee said one final goodbye to "Little Feathers" before hurrying to catch up to Mai. She chatted about inconsequential things: who did Mai think was the cutest soldier travelling with them, whether the cook would make custard buns again, what she would wish for if a genie appeared and granted them three wishes. Mai knew that Ty Lee was just trying to lighten the mood. It was easier to distract with cheerful conversation than to confront the real problem. They both were aware of how much each other disapproved of Azula's crueller moments.
That neither of them was brave enough to stand up to the princess when it counted.
A faint crease formed on Mai's brow. Yes, Azula could be cruel to a fault, but there was also a reason the three girls had become friends. Maybe that was why Mai still wondered about why Azula had chosen to kill the turtleducks all those years ago. Had she done it out of spite because the birds were Zuko's favourite and Mai had chosen to feed them? Or was it because the turtleducks were just a constant reminder that the big brother with whom Azula had spent her childhood—the same brother she had mocked but also forced to play with her—had left her all alone?
"My brother is never coming back."
Azula always smiled when she was being cruel. She had not smiled that day.
oOo
The sun was warm on his back. Zuko laughed and glanced at his sister, sand flicking up everywhere as the two of them ran from the waves that threatened to sneak around their ankles. Azula's grin was so wide he could see the gaps where her teeth had yet to come through to complete her smile.
Of course, that was when she decided to push him into the salty water.
Zuko fell on his rear with a yelp. The wave doused him in a cold rush, leaving bits of seaweed on his hair. Azula took one look at him and clamped her hand over her mouth. She struggled to maintain her composure, but then the first giggle escaped, followed by another and another. His cheeks burned pink and he clenched his hands into fists. Azula was so, so—
So happy in that moment.
His frustration faded in an instant. A second later even he was laughing. He probably did look funny with seaweed stuck in his hair. That didn't stop him from getting some payback, though. One quick lunge had him grabbing the hem of her dress and then he pulled her into the water with him. Shrieks and giggles followed, mixed in with a lot of splashing. It was only Shizue's cry of dismay that had the siblings desisting in their mission to get the other as soaked and dirty as possible.
"Look at you two!" Shizue said, planting her hands on her hips. "You're all covered in sand and you're drenched to the skin. What am I going to do with you?"
"What to do with them indeed," a voice said from behind the lady-in-waiting.
It was their mother. Zuko scrambled to his feet, apologies already gathering on the tip of his tongue. Azula, on the other hand, stood there with all the cold dignity a three-year-old princess could muster, as if she did not have splatters of sand stuck to her cheek or, indeed, had done anything wrong.
Mum bent down so that she was at eye level with her children. "Well, since you're already wet, you might as well enjoy yourselves." Then she winked.
Zuko grinned. His mum was the best! Even Azula softened out of her Dignified Princess act. She tugged on Zuko's hand and demanded that he come play "Chase the Waves" with her again. That was when Zuko noticed their father watching the two of them from farther up the beach. Prince Ozai's long black hair hung loose and he was wearing his casual robes, typical for vacationing on Ember Island.
He was also smiling.
Zuko's eyes snapped open. A cloud-speckled sky gazed back at him. No waves, no sand. Just the wind brushing his face and there was something warm pressing against his cheek. The warm thing moved. Ah, that was his uncle's shoulder. Right. He must have dozed off at some point. Now that he actually took in his surroundings, he realised that he was still sitting in the bison's saddle-like basket, squashed between his uncle and Toph. The landscape below them was a rolling mass of dunes, stretching all the way to the horizon. Only their guides' white-sailed boat disrupted the endless ocean of sand.
"Did you have a nice nap?"
Zuko stared into the distance, making no motion to respond to his uncle's question. In truth, he didn't know what to say. The dream was still vivid in his mind. He could almost smell the salt spray of the sea and hear Azula's gleeful shrieks and giggles as the siblings chased each other round and round. It hurt to think of how happy he had looked.
It really hurt.
He didn't need his growing headache to tell him that he had recovered a memory from his childhood. The ache in his heart was undeniable. It whispered that what he had seen was real. If his family could be cruel and ugly, there was also another side to the coin. It was a side that had manifested itself on the golden beaches of Ember Island, and it was probably what had fuelled his desire to return home while he had been banished. Cherished memories. Tender memories. He could see how he must have clung to them like a drowning man. Maybe that's why reliving the memories now just left a bitter taste.
His family had been happy once. How had it gone so wrong?
"Zuko?" Iroh touched his arm. "Are you alright?"
Zuko shook his head, more in a gesture to say he didn't want to talk about it than a confirmation that something was troubling him. He could sense rather than see that the Avatar and his group of friends were watching. Even the lemur. There was no way he was going to spill his heart in front of them. Plus, he just didn't want to deal with the confusion that came with trying to sort through his memories. Picking at his past was like picking at a barely healed scab. It opened fresh wounds. Better to focus on the now. Better to focus on discovering the truth about his healing abilities.
"It's nothing," he said firmly.
Iroh still looked concerned, but Zuko wasn't going to give his uncle a chance to start poking and prodding to get the truth out of him. Instead, he asked how far they had to go before they reached Wan Shi Tong's library.
Sokka glanced up from the Earth Kingdom map he had been reading. "I've been trying to figure that out," he said, and pointed to the line he had drawn on the map from the Misty Palms Oasis to a spot in the far centre of the Si Wong Desert. "Iroh, you said the library is somewhere around this area, right?"
Iroh spread his hands in a helpless gesture. "I do recall it being in the central area of the desert; however, it has been many years since I made my journey and there were quite a few things on my mind during that time. I honestly could not tell you how I got to the library. Back then, I also relied on a guide."
Zuko's eyes narrowed. "Then how do we know we're even going in the right direction? Those guys you made us hire"—he gestured towards the boat-like thing they were following, which was being propelled along the dunes with great gusts of sand—"could be leading us back to their hideout only to betray us."
"I hate to say it, but Zuko has a point," Sokka said. "I mean, I know that old man you played Pai Sho with vouched for the sandbenders being able to help us and all, but they're not exactly the friendliest looking bunch." He shuddered, perhaps remembering the rotten-toothed smile one of the sandbenders had given him.
Iroh chuckled. "Appearances can be deceiving. Wolfbats can appear as koala-sheep and koala-sheep can appear as wolfbats. What matters is that we must learn to discern the truth for ourselves."
There was an awkward silence.
"Does he always talk like that?" Sokka muttered, leaning towards Zuko.
Zuko rolled his eyes. "You have no idea."
His uncle was forever speaking in proverbs. Zuko was pretty sure that Iroh did it on purpose just to sound wiser. Or maybe it was an old man thing in general, as if growing a beard and some grey hairs meant you could no longer speak plainly. That ancient relic his uncle had befriended while playing Pai Sho at the Misty Palms Oasis had been cryptic as well. Something about white lotuses and doors opening …
"Whatever."
Zuko started at Toph's voice. It was unnerving that she had vocalised exactly what he had been thinking, though her reasons for sounding unimpressed were different. It seemed that she did not understand what was so special about Wan Shi Tong's library or why they had to go through all of this trouble just to visit the place. If she had her way, they would have never entered the Si Wong Sandpit.
Sokka gasped theatrically. "Are you kidding? It's an ancient library brought back from the Spirit World and is probably filled with thousands of books and scrolls! We're bound to get some intelligence on the Fi—" he flushed, avoiding Zuko and Iroh's gaze. "I mean, we're bound to find some useful information there."
Zuko's eyes narrowed. Sokka pointedly looked anywhere but at him. More and more suspicious.
Toph wriggled her toes to get rid of some of the sand that had got stuck between them. "Well, you guys have fun with that."
"You're not going to come with us to the library?" Katara asked.
Toph's voice became even more sarcastic. "I've held books and scrolls before. I gotta tell you, they don't exactly do it for me."
There was another awkward pause as everyone took in Toph's vacant stare and milky-green eyes.
"Right," Katara said, going a bit pink in her cheeks. "Sorry."
Toph just went back to wriggling her toes. Obviously, she was used to her travelling companions forgetting that she was blind.
"Anyway," Sokka said, pulling the conversation back to the matter at hand. "As Zuko was saying, how do we know that we can really trust these sandbender guys?"
"I guess we just have faith," Aang piped up from where he sat perched on the front of the basket. "The sandbenders know the desert better than anyone, right? Sure, that means they could betray us if they lead us to their hideout and surround us or something." He shrugged. "But it also means they're in the best position to help. Right now, I want to believe that they're the real koala-sheep."
Iroh smiled. "Well said, Avatar."
Zuko's brow creased. He didn't know why his uncle sounded so pleased; that kind of speech was typical from the Avatar. The airhead always wanted to see the good in everyone.
Even you, a small voice in his mind reminded, and that was after you had threatened him and tried to capture him.
Shut up! Zuko told the voice.
Sokka frowned and folded up the map. "Well, it's too late for us to turn back now anyway. We're here, so I guess we'll just have to trust that the sandbenders are taking us in the right direction."
"Indeed," Iroh agreed.
"And if they try to pull anything funny, I can always bust some heads with my bending," Toph said cheerfully.
Zuko stared at the small girl seated next to him. Her lips were curved into a bloodthirsty smile, suggesting that she would take great pleasure in busting said heads. Creepy. He made a mental note not to underestimate her or to get on her bad side. That smile reminded him way too much of Azula.
"Hey, the sand-sailer has stopped!" Aang exclaimed.
Katara peered over the edge of the saddle. "I thought the library was supposed to be a huge, ornate building. I don't see anything but sand."
Iroh chuckled. "No, this is the place." He pointed to where a spire was sticking out from the sand. "Right there is where you'll find Wan Shi Tong's library."
Zuko stared at his uncle. "But that means—"
"It's completely buried," Sokka finished with a sigh. "Great. Our big source of intelligence is full of sand."
Iroh's mouth twitched into a smile. "Have some faith in this old man. The library is still accessible."
Zuko didn't see how that would be possible, but when Appa landed next to the spire and they all clambered off the basket, Toph confirmed that there was a massive building underground and all of its passages were intact and free of sand. He couldn't help but sigh in relief. For a horrible moment, he'd thought that they had come all this way for nothing. Now that he knew they could actually get inside, he found himself itching to get moving. All of the answers he sought about his healing abilities could be inside that library. It was a terrifying but also relieving thought.
Iroh had a brief conversation with the sandbenders and then gestured for the others to follow him towards the tower-like structure jutting up from the sand. True to her word, Toph chose not to come with them and claimed that she would keep an eye on the "koala-sheep". She plonked herself on the ground next to Appa and made a shooing motion with her hands. No one needed to be told twice. All of them were just as curious to see inside the library of legend, though Iroh seemed more resigned when they climbed through the open window and began descending the rope into the library.
Zuko's eyes widened when his feet touched the floor and he was able to take in the inside of the building for the first time. He was standing on a bridge. Pillars and stone arches seemed to go on for miles, connecting with a web-like maze of corridors and rooms that were filled with rows upon rows of bookshelves. The vastness was overwhelming even for a prince like him who had grown up in the Fire Nation palace. Perhaps it was because there was something spirit-touched about the library.
A shiver crept down his spine as he looked into the abyss that spanned either side of the bridge. Combined with the ghostly light of the lamps, he could believe that falling into that bottomless darkness would lead him straight to the Spirit World.
There was a soft, rustling sound from behind the group. Feathers caressing against feathers. Zuko unsheathed his swords and spun around, preparing to defend or attack if needed. He froze when he saw a giant owl step out through the stone archway. If his uncle's story was true, this was surely Wan Shi Tong. Zuko swallowed. Somehow, he didn't think his swords would be very good against a spirit. He really missed being able to use his bending. Hopefully, the owl would be friendly.
The owl was not friendly.
Wan Shi Tong had developed a disliking for humans over the years and ordered them to leave unless they wanted to become stuffed heads on his display wall. Humans were prohibited from using the library. No exceptions. Zuko would have lost his temper—he was not about to let some over-grown owl stop him from getting the knowledge he needed—but then his uncle stepped forward and tried to reason with the owl. Upon some probing, they managed to learn that a firebender had come to the library a few years ago with the intent of finding out a means to destroy his enemy. Sokka got a guilty expression on his face after that comment, but Zuko barely noticed. He was too busy fuming over the fact that they were right there and he wasn't able to pick up so much as one book.
"I don't care about any of that!" Zuko shouted, slashing his hand through the air. "I just want to find out the truth about my bending! I know you have information on fire healers in here somewhere!"
Wan Shi Tong extended his long neck, looming forward like something from a nightmare as he placed his face right up next to Zuko's. Zuko resisted the urge to step back. It was unnerving to be confronted with those timeless eyes at such close proximity.
"Interesting," Wan Shi Tong said, eyeing Zuko up and down. "Very interesting. I thought the humans had destroyed your kind."
Zuko swallowed. "W-what?"
The owl just gave a faint smile and then pulled his face back. "Very well," he said, speaking to the group as a whole, "I'll let you peruse my vast collection, but on one condition. To prove your worth as scholars, you have to contribute some worthwhile knowledge."
Once this requirement was satisfied, Zuko and Iroh separated from the Avatar's group and made their way deeper into the web of rooms. It didn't take Zuko long to find the section dedicated to the Fire Nation and its history. Unfortunately, every book, scroll and shelf had been burnt to ashes. There was nothing left. No information about fire healing. No explanation for why the royal family had sworn an oath to kill the Children of the Undying Fire.
"No," Zuko said, collapsing to his knees. "This can't be."
Iroh placed his hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Nephew. It was not like this when I came here last. However, the library is vast. Perhaps we can still find some information on your healing abilities. I believe there is a section on bending. We might have luck there."
"Yeah," Zuko said, getting to his feet.
And if that failed, he was going to corner that over-grown owl and force Wan Shi Tong to talk, spirit or not. It was clear that Wan Shi Tong knew something. Zuko wasn't about to give up just yet.