Sirius Black was in his own personal hell, and the one holding the whip was his sweet, innocent little goddaughter.
Sweet and innocent...those words made him laugh outright now. Little Lilac had gone from a happy baby to a demon who was all too happy to make him suffer through obedience training and being sent into a grooming salon. While being cleaned up was nice, having to endure the de-worming treatment and shots was not. And for the love of Merlin, why did Lilac have to name him Sparkles?
At least she fed him well, even if she didn't let him sleep on the bed.
As she boarded the train, with her new 'pet' firmly locked in the special expanded trunk, he had no idea the evil grin on her face.
Professor Flitwick had given her permission to have not only Fluffy, but 'Sparkles' as well so long as the other student didn't know about them and she took them out on walks regularly away from the castle. Though considering the dementors she would likely have to stick to the Room of Requirement until the end of the year.
"So what do you think is going to happen this year?" commented Hermione.
"Considering the Ministry said they would be sending 'special' guards to the school to find and capture Sirius Black... I foresee a lot of students lining up to learn the patronus charm, especially the upper years," said Lal.
"Why?" asked Hermione.
Both were politely ignoring the man asleep in the corner. Obviously he was the new Defense sacrifice...er, teacher.
"Because the only thing I can see that half-wit Minister doing is sending dementors to 'guard' the school, despite the fact it's full of children that belong to his supporters and the detrimental effects those creatures have on adults, much less underage wizards. Those things are abominations and should be destroyed," said Lal darkly.
"The Minister has always been infected with heliopaths. Father fears it's a side-effect of the Rotfang Conspiracy," said Luna.
"Don't be ridiculous. It's clear he's been infested by nargles and that the wrackspurts have been teaming up with them in order to make the Ministry three times as incompetent as it used to be. Besides, heliopaths prefer Italy," said Lal without thinking.
Dead silence.
Luna beamed at Lal, while Hermione looked like she had a headache.
"Why exactly would the upper years want to learn the charm?"
"Besides the fact it repels dementors? Using it during the two mandatory advancement exams is an automatic 'outstanding' in both Charms and Defense, especially during the Ordinary Wizarding Levels. It's a highly complicated spell that most adults have trouble with, so showing that you can create even a mist would be highly impressive. However if you can produce a corporeal one...well, that would definitely insure you got a high grade."
Seeing the gleam in Hermione's eyes, Lal inwardly smirked.
She was sure Professor Flitwick would help to teach the patronus charm to the students once they learned the benefits of it.
"By the way, guess who got a new dog?"
Hermione perked up.
"Really?"
"Professor Flitwick said it was okay to have him, so long as I'm discreet and make sure to keep him out of the dorms. Though I can't really take him outside with those things around, I'm sure I can find a way to keep him exercised," said Lal.
"Does he have obedience training?" asked Luna sweetly.
"Do I look like the sort of girl who would skip out on that? I had him doing all the basic commands within a week of having him. Though he was such a big baby when I took him to the salon. I swear he was giving me a betrayed look at all the frilly bows they put on him, plus the nail polish. I named him Sparkles," said Lal innocently. "And don't get me started on the look on his face when I forced him to undergo a de-worming treatment. The vet said it was pretty bad."
"What does he look like?" asked Hermione.
Lal pulled out a picture of the dog. Hermione snorted.
"Figures you would go for a big one rather than a pampered pet."
"He's a total sweetie, especially if there's food involved. Poor thing was underweight," said Lal with a straight face. "And don't get me started on the mats it had in it's fur...I had to pay extra for the groomers to properly fix the old boy up."
The picture Lal had given Hermione was shortly after she had taken him to the groomers. She was sure Lupin would get a very good laugh out of it later.
A few hours in, the train abruptly stopped before it even reached the school. Hermione shivered at the sudden chill in the air and Luna whimpered.
"Oh hell the fuck no, I am not letting those things traumatize the students any more than they will already!" snarled Lal.
She drew her wand, opened up the window and said in a clear, but pissed off voice...
"Expecto Patronum!"
Inhuman shrieks filled the air as Falco the patronus flew around the train, driving off the dementors. Like hell was she letting those things drag up Colonello's death. Not when she had the power to make them back off.
Dead silence filled the air. Slowly, the train began to move again.
"God I hate dementors," said Lal in disgust.
Within a week, Lal had convinced Flitwick to hold a special club to teach how to cast the Patronus charm.
Some (mainly those older than fourteen) were interested in the fact that being able to successfully cast it meant an instant high grade in their Defense and Charms exams. Most, however, were more interested in the fact it kept those horrible creatures as far away from them as possible.
As Lal had so eloquently put it, the patronus was the students best defense against the nightmares those wretched things liked to inflict, and without the prisoners to feed them, they would almost certainly try to target the innocent students.
If it wasn't for the fact she knew how to defend herself against them and had come to terms with her nightmares, she would likely present a nice feast for those things.
On the plus side, she also managed to become Hagrid's official "TA". At least with her monitoring him, the other teachers could feel assured that she would keep him from going overboard.
And the other students respected her as a 'big sister' type, or found out very quickly what a bad idea it was to piss her off.
She had Buckbeak bowing to her within seconds after making eye contact, before crooning under the way she groomed his feathers.
She made sure to give the others a warning before they came anywhere near the magnificent creatures.
"This is your one and only warning. If I catch any of you showing disrespect or arrogance around the hippogryffs, then it won't be their claws or beak that you have to worry about," she said, looking at Draco specifically. "Because by the time I'm through with you, walking into a mother dragon's nest will seem like a stroll in the park in comparison."
Draco took one look at his cousin's expression, before gulping in fear. He could tell she was dead serious about making his life hell if he tried anything.
Rather than risk the ire of the 'Demon' as she had become known in the two short years she had attended school, Draco made a point to behave for once.
The entire lesson went smoothly, though Lal was quick to intervene in case the teenagers got too cocky around the hippogryffs.
They seemed to understand Lal was an Alpha female protecting the weaker 'chicks' from a less than amused adult and tolerated her presence even when she bore her back against them.
If anything the hippogryffs seemed to think of her as another one of their females.
Hagrid couldn't be happier with how things turned out.
Okay, perhaps she was being a tad bit too evil...but Peter totally deserved it!
Besides, some of Reborn's (and to a lesser extent Fon) trolling habit had stuck. She could get all the remaining Marauders in one go.
"Professor, what about illegal animagi?" asked Lal innocently. "I mean how do we know if Sirius Black isn't wandering around as one of the pets?"
Remus paused.
"That is a fairly good point, and I can see why you would be concerned," he conceded. "So why don't you all bring your pets with you this weekend and Professor Flitwick and I will teach everyone how to cast the animagus revealing spell. If your pet is a normal animal, nothing will happen, but if it's an animagus like Professor McGonagall, it will glow a red color."
Seeing he had the interest of everyone, particularly the Ravenclaws, Remus went to speak to Flitwick.
The half-goblin sighed in exasperation when he heard who came up with the idea.
"That girl is entirely too clever for her own good," he said fondly. "If it wasn't for the fact her main aspirations are all geared towards hard work, she would have made a splendid Slytherin."
Remus blinked.
"What do you mean?"
"Ms. Potter wishes to join the muggle military upon graduation. And she's been rather clever about discreetly manipulating things to the way she wants them, rather than following the flow of everyone else. About the only thing I can say about the matter is that she has no desire to use the power she's been acculmulating without noticing. At least not in the way Albus would like," said Flitwick fondly. "She likely knows there's an illegal animagus in the castle and wants to make it as public as possible when they are captured. Or at the very least create too many witnesses for anyone to sweep their existence under the rug."
"You think she found Sirius Black."
"I think she intends to expose something else, and Black is merely used to accomplish that," said Flitwick.
Remus looked forward to Saturday, even if it meant having to deal with far too many animals, including...cats.
It was as he was passing the Gryffindors that he spotted a far too familiar face, inside an obviously transfigured cage.
Peter Pettigrew.
Suddenly Remus knew exactly why his pup had brought up the idea of 'unregistered animagi' in class and convinced him to teach the charm.
Of course that didn't stop the surprise and wicked gleam in his eyes when he spotted Sirius there as well, looking positively miserable in frilly bows, painted nails and fur that had clearly been to the groomers. As if that wasn't enough, he had a bright pink and silver collar around his name with glitter that proudly proclaimed his name was "Sparkles".
Remus took one look at Lilac who had an unholy smirk on her face whenever she looked at "Sparkles", and then at him.
"That is a fine hound you have there. Mind if I take a picture? I want to know where I could get one," said Remus.
"I have a whole photo album of them!" chirped Lilac far too cheerfully, causing Sparkles to whine in betrayal.
Remus was trying very hard not to laugh.
"Mind if I have copies?"
To his delight, she produced a rather large album full of blackmail.
"May I ask why his name is Sparkles?"
"Because of his 'sparkling' personality," said Lilac innocently.
Remus had to move away before he broke out laughing. Oh gods, if James were here now to see what his daughter had turned Sirius into...the hound would never live it down. Remus would make sure of it.
Sirius gave him a betrayed look.
"Though you should have hear the fuss he made when I made him undergo that de-worming treatment. He's lucky I didn't pay the vets to neuter him as well," said Lilac, before Remus moved on.
Remus was having great difficulty not howling at the look on Sirius' face.
It seemed the traitor had found a hell worse than Azkaban...in the hands of his goddaughter.
Remus was going to remember this forever.
"Alright everyone, now that you have your pets and familiars out, we're going to be practicing the Animagus revealing charm and the charm to reveal humans who are hiding..." said Remus, with Professor Flitwick helping with their spell casting.
When they got to 'Scabbers' the rat was trying very hard to break out of the cage. Unfortunately for the rat, the twins had gotten much better at their spellwork.
Remus pretended to be surprised, but his frown was real.
"Mr. Weasley, do you mind if I cast the spell this time? We could be getting a false positive."
Ron stood aside, and Flitwick cast the charm.
Scabbers glowed red.
"Mr. Weasley, how long have you had this rat?" asked Flitwick concerned, as he started casting more spells on the cage.
"I got him from Percy. He found him in the garden."
Fred and George were frowning, as they had brought their new owl with them. Their mother had been a bit miffed that they had gone over her head and asked Bill if he would help to pay for one.
"How old is this rat?" asked Lilac, coming over with "Sparkles".
"About twelve years, I think?" said Fred.
"I think we need to call the Aurors. There's no way a real rat would live twelve years and still look that healthy," said Lilac. "Sparkles, guard."
Sirius was all too happy to do so, complete with growling. Peter looked terrified. Then again, despite how dolled up Sirius' canine form was, he was still a massive dog and his teeth would still rip his former friend to pieces.
After the shock of 'discovering' Pettigrew, the rest of the animals turned up clean. Even if Sirius' status as an animagus was busted as well, it was a small price to pay. He didn't move an inch from where he was 'guarding' Peter.
To say Amelia Bones was pissed was putting it mildly. A grown man had been found sleeping in the bed of an underage wizard, and had been doing so for twelve years now. The Gryffindors were highly disturbed at how easily a potential predator had entered their tower...the fact the man was a former lion himself didn't help at all.
Despite Peter's protests that he had never touched any of the boys (or the girls), he was still put under veritaserum.
So was Sirius, but that was mostly because Potter had insisted that he answer why he had 'betrayed' her parents since she couldn't find any evidence he had explained himself during a trial. And she had several of the older Ravenclaws help her to look.
You could imagine her disbelief when Sirius was more than happy to undergo the veritaserum treatment, and claimed he would be more than willing to give a wizard's oath he wasn't lying.
Amelia left Hogwarts with two prisoners, a headache and an appreciation for the cunning of one Lilac Potter.
It was hard to believe the girl wasn't a Slytherin with how expertly she played the adults around her to doing her bidding, all while making them look like it was their idea in the first place.