A.N. To clarify, I stuck with Carrigan and Dibs instead of putting other characters in their roles because there weren't any ParaNorman characters who worked.
Days later, a deadpan lawyer was going over the will of his recently deceased client to the client's daughter Carrigan Crittenden and her...companion...Dibs.
"And to the Save the Dolphins foundation, eleven million dollars." The lawyer read with a monotone voice. "To the Save the Pumas foundation, one-point-two million dollars. To the Patagonian Wasps Foundation, one-point-four million dollars. To the Dyslexic Dalmatians foundation-"
Carrigan put out her cigarette on the table.
"To hell with the livestock, what did the old stiff leave me." She said, trying to remain calm.
"Um, what I believe that the bereaved is trying to express is that the...sudden death of her only father has left a great big gaping void in her bank-in her life." Dibs quickly corrected himself after a warning look from Carrigan. "And Carrigan is wondering what he has left her to fill it up with."
The lawyer knew better, but it was hard to read that on his face since he hardly ever changed his expression. However he did know that Carrigan had been mention in the will, so he obliged:
"Let's see...bobcats...owls...snakes...daughter Carrigan." He found it. "Prenderghast Manor in Maine."
Carrigan whipped off her sunglasses.
"And?" She insisted.
"And I'm late for lunch, so if you'll excuse me..." The lawyer packed up his file and stood up.
"Are you trying to tell me that I just spent the last two days just holding his clammy hand waiting for him to kick it, and all I get in return is one lousy piece of property?" Carrigan demanded.
"No." The lawyer said. "It was lousy fifty years ago; now it's condemned. Enjoy."
He slid the file to Carrigan, but she just abandoned it on the table and got up. Dibs however took the file and looked through it.
"Wait a minute, this is not fair!" Carrigan stormed over to the lawyer. "I am going to drag you and every one of those damned dolphins into court!"
"Knock yourself out." The lawyer shrugged, knowing that she'd be fighting a losing battle if she did.
He shut the door on her.
"Dibs!" Carrigan snapped. "This is all your fault, as usual, if you had just forged the damned will-"
"Well you know Carrigan this is condemned seafront property." Dibs tried to make light of the situation.
"Oh Dibs, don't you get it?" Carrigan snatched the file. "Flipper got more money than me!"
She tossed the file into the fireplace.
"Carrigan! The Deed's in there!" Dibs panicked and rushed over to the fireplace.
He started to frantically pull out all of the papers, but stopped when he saw writing appear on a crudely drawn map.
"Buccaneers...and buried gold...Prenderghast doth a treasure hold..." He read.
That got Carrigan's attention.
"Treasure? Dibs you idiot get it out!" Carrigan demanded.
Dibs did, and got burnt in the process. The paper crumbled despite Dibs and Carrigan's efforts to put it out.
"I knew that place was worth something...there's treasure in that house." Carrigan said. "And finally, I'm gonna get what I deserve."
"Carrigan...I think I need a doctor." Dibs cringed.
"Oh there's plenty in Maine." Carrigan rolled her eyes as she pulled Dibs away...by his burnt hand.
Once they reached the manor, on a stormy night, they had to stop in front of the gates.
"What do you think?" Dibs asked Carrigan, impressed by the look of the place.
"I think you're gonna get wet." Carrigan deadpanned.
Sure enough Dibs had to step outside to undo the padlock and open the gate. Carrigan drove through without him.
"Hey! Carrigan!" He called, hurrying after her. "Carrigan!"
Once they reached the manor they opened the front door, and cautiously walked inside. It was very dark.
"Dibs light, light!" Carrigan hissed.
Dibs turned on his lighter so that they could somewhat see.
"What a dump." Carrigan frowned.
"Wow...wow this place is fabulous. You can do so much with it." Dibs however was impressed. "I admit it's a bit spooky..."
"Dibs." Carrigan deadpanned at him.
Dibs was confused as to what she was referring to...until he realized that he accidentally set the bandages around his thumb on fire. He panicked and quickly put it out. Carrigan shook her head.
"Hello." A friendly-sounding female voice said.
Carrigan and Dibs slight jumped. Carrigan quickly went behind Dibs.
"Who is it?" She whispered.
"Who is it?" Dibs asked.
"Um, I'm afraid I can't answer that." The female voice said.
"Why not?" Carrigan whispered.
"Why not?" Dibs asked.
"It's kind of hard to explain." The female voice said.
"Is she the caretaker?" Carrigan whispered.
"Are you the caretaker?" Dibs asked.
"No..." The female voice hesitated.
"Is she a transient?" Carrigan whispered.
"Is she-are you a transient?" Dibs asked.
"No, not exactly."
"Tell her to show herself." Carrigan whispered.
"Show yourself!" Dibs demanded.
"Here's the thing: if I do don't scream okay?" The female voice asked, sounding a little exasperated. "I get that a lot."
"Are you a burglar?" Dibs asked as Carrigan took the lighter from him. "I must warned you that I am armed!"
He reached into his jacket and took something out...that suddenly rang. He put it up to his ear.
"Hello?" He said.
"Listen, cut the crap okay?" Carrigan snapped to the female voice. "If you don't show yourself right now I'll have you arrested for trespassing!"
"Okay okay, geez, calm down lady." The female voice said, annoyed, before sounding friendly again: "Here I come."
A pale form slid down the railing of the staircase. It then landed in midair in front of them...it was the ghost of a young girl with light-blue faceted eyes and long hair.
"Hi, I'm Aggie." The girl ghost smiled.
Carrigan and Dibs screamed slightly.
"No no no, shh, you shouldn't do that or you'll wake up my-" Aggie shook her hands frantically.
A rumbling sound interrupted her. She facepalmed.
"Too late." Aggie vanished.
A tornado suddenly formed from the floor and revealed three scary fanged ghost faces. Carrigan and Dibs screamed in terror and fled from the manor. Cackling noises came from the manor as the front door shut itself...or did it?
The next day a priest showed up at the manor, by order of Carrigan.
"So tell me, you have experience?" Carrigan wanted to make sure.
"I have quite a bit of experience." The priest nodded. "Not 'actually doing it' experience, but I've read up on it, talked to people who've done it, and seen the videos. So I believe I can do it with my knowledge, no problem."
"Then you can handle this?" Carrigan still wasn't sure.
"It's no problem, piece of cake." The priest smiled. "Piece of crumb cake even."
So he went inside...and weird noises were heard from inside. The priest came back out covered in goop and with his head twisted around so that his face was facing his back. How he could still be alive Carrigan and Dibs didn't even want to know.
"So...how did it go?" Carrigan asked awkwardly
"Oh it was fine, it was no problem." The priest oddly didn't see fazed by his new appearance. "Piece of cake."
Later on some chairs tumbled down the stairs and a Ghostbuster with Pines for a name tag quickly followed.
"Who you gonna call?" He asked.
Cackling was heard from inside the manor as a side table tumbled outside.
"Someone else." The Ghostbuster finished before running away.
"What do we do now?" Dibs asked.
"What do I usually do when something stands in my way?" Carrigan replied.
Not long after that a huge demolition tool smashed one of the garden statues. More demolition machines and the crew as well gathered around outside.
"Um...are you sure we're not going a tad overboard here?" Dibs asked awkwardly, still liking the architecture of the manor itself.
"Dibs I have huffed and puffed, now I wanna tear this place down." Carrigan retorted. "I want my treasure. They can't haunt a pile of rubble for Christ's sake."
Dibs couldn't argue with that. However Carrigan ended up not being able to argue the fact that a bunch of the demolition crew was running out of the manor with fright, causing the ones outside to follow with their machines.
"People people please you're sweaty male construction types for Christ's sake!" Carrigan snapped. "Dibs do something!"
Dibs, relieved that the manor wasn't going to be torn down, instead just rested on something...which turned out to be the lever that operated a demolition machine that slammed into Carrigan's car. If she noticed, she didn't show it.
This time, as the last of the demolition men ran through the gate, Aggie actually followed.
"Wait wait, they were just kidding!" She pleaded. "Honest!"
Too late.
"Ugh, every time." She sighed sadly. "All I want is a friend."
Later that evening, Aggie started flipping channels through a TV that the other three ghosts - her uncles Stretch (Hopkins), Stinkie (Hardwick), and Fatso (Prenderghast) - stole years ago.
"Did you ever feel like how Priscilla Cow felt? That you'd like to be completely different?" Mr. Rogers said to his audience. "Almost everybody feels like that once in a while. But most of the time, I hope you can be glad to just be yourself. That's really something to celebrate."
Aggie changed the channel.
"A g-g-g-ghost!" A cartoon old woman screamed.
Aggie changed the channel. It was now the news.
"More on the Pentagon Playboy as the story unfolds." The anchorwoman said. "But now: step aside Sigmund Freud, step back Joyce Brothers, for Dr. Perry Babcock...therapist to the dead? Are you depressed? Are you anxious? Are you lonely? Do you need someone to talk to? No problem...if you're a ghost."
Aggie looked up with interest.
"You can call them ghosts or you can call them, as I like, the living impaired." Dr. Perry Babcock said. "But the bottom line is they need help sometimes. Just like the rest of us."
"After the sudden unexpected death of his wife Sandra Dr. Babcock gave up conventional psychiatry...and some say conventional sanity." The anchorwoman said. "And now with his teenage daughter Courtney and preteen son Norman Doc Babcock travels the country, searing for paranoid poltergeists, scared specters, the depressed, and the dead."
Aggie smiled lovestruck upon seeing Norman on the TV screen. She couldn't help but be attracted to the young boy, especially since she had never seen a boy that handsome before.
A camera zoomed in on Courtney from outside a schoolyard fence.
"How do you feel about what your father does for a living?" The reporter on the other side of the camera asked.
"Could you please not ask me any questions?" Courtney sighed.
"Do you believe in ghosts, have you ever seen one? Does your father hurt you in any way?"
Courtney looked at the camera disgusted.
"He's my father." She said pointedly.
"Would you just talk to us?" The reporter asked.
"Look, it's the first day of school and I'm sure I'll have a lot of homework, so could you please?" Courtney rolled her eyes.
The camera cut to Norman, who was reading a book near the fence.
"Excuse me Mr. Babcock, can we talk to you about your dad?" The reporter asked.
"Huh? Oh sure." Norman closed his book and got up.
"How do you feel about your dad's work?"
"I like it, actually. I mean I get to travel all over the country with my family and that's been a lot of fun." Norman smiled.
"What about ghosts, do you believe in them and have you ever seen one?"
"Maybe, maybe not. The real question is: would you believe me if I said that I have?" Norman challenged.
"Uh..." The reporter was at a loss for an answer.
The school bell rang.
"Oh, got to go. Don't want to be late." Norman ran for the front door.
Aggie giggled at Norman's last answer, already liking him even more. She then got an idea:
"Carrigan!"
She flew into the power lines and traveled along them until she found the TV belonging to Carrigan's hotel room. Aggie then made the TV turn on to the report about Dr. Babcock. Carrigan didn't notice because she was talking on her phone, so Aggie had to move the TV towards her to try to get her attention.
"Look what part don't you understand?" Carrigan said. "No not 'I ate fish' I hate fish. Don't you people have cows here? Listen I have had a long and trying day, do you think you could bring me a pint of Häagen-Dazs ice cream, Rum Raisin, and a Diet Pepsi. Think you could handle that? Now you want me to hold, fine."
That's when she noticed what the TV was playing.
"...With therapy they can begin to process this pain, they can pack up this emotional baggage and they can move on." Dr. Babcock said from the TV.
The TV showed an old woman with a blurred-out face.
"My Harry passed away five years ago but he was so miserable his spirit wouldn't leave the apartment." The old woman said. "So I called Dr. Babcock. He came over, and in a few weeks Harry left...smiling."
"The living impaired are known for haunting us." Dr. Babcock then said. "My question is: what's haunting them? It's a lack of resolution. Ghosts are simply spirits without resolution, with unfinished business, and it's my job to find out what that is."
"And so Dr. Perry Babcock continues his work, dragging his children along for the ride." The anchorwoman wrapped up. "This week they're in Santa Fe, but next week: boo knows?"
Carrigan then heard a sound coming from her phone, so she brought it up to her ear.
"Yes I'm still here." She said into the phone. "Get me Santa Fe."