A/N: Hi all, hope you are enjoying the story, just about to dive in to The Avengers: Age of Ultron. I want to try and keep events as close to the movies as possible. With that being said, I hope you enjoy the next chapter. -Cat
Chapter Nine
Steve
The following afternoon we set off, the whole team back together. We begin a long month of breaking down the last leg of Hydra.
It all culminated at the Fort in Sokovia.
Now we are on the jet home, and I am looking down at Loki's Sceptre. Finally, in our hands again. I stand beside Thor and try and focus on what he is talking about but my eyes kept being drawn to Nat, crouching in front of Banner.
I've been watching them since the night this started. I try not to but I can't help it. I watch her watching him. Getting closer to him. Talking to him. They seem to have a bond. A connection I can't understand. No, that isn't true. I understand it too well. I had it once, but got cheated out of it. And thought, I hoped, I had it again... Looks like I missed my chance, even if I was too chicken to take it.
"Thor, report on the Hulk?" Nat asks over her shoulder. I feel her eyes glance at me but I keep looking at the staff, I don't want to see her trying to make him feel better. It's petty and small, but I don't care. I awkwardly listen to Thor make Banner feel even worse. And roll my eyes. Ah yes, our team. Us unlikely heroes.
We are back in New York in the Tower. Safe and sound. Celebrating even.
I stand at the end of the bar and watch as Natasha mixes herself and Bruce martinis. The night has actually been fun. A hopeful end to one adventure. But now I am left with the cold hard truth of the matter. That while we have been putting down Hydra, Bruce and Natasha have grown close. Closer than I have ever managed but bitterly, I know I only have myself to blame.
Seems strange that I could spend so much time watching a person and not actually see them. Or what they do. I wanted to get her attention, hold it forever but I can't. I don't know why and it makes me feel angry, frustrated. Then guilty, because I have no right to feel that way. She isn't mine, I don't own her.
I watch her walk away from him, past the end of the bar, and see Bruce staring after her like a man who spent too long looking at the sun. I know how he feels.
But she seems….happy…
"That's nice," I say, trying to get his attention.
Bruce blinks and his eyes dart between me and Natasha's retreating figure, "What…. what is?" He stutters.
"You and Romanoff," I clarify. The poor guy, she does have him wound up.
"No! We haven't- That wasn't-" He stands up from the bar instantly flustered.
"It's ok," I chuckle, "Nobody is breaking any bylaws." I think of Natasha and all my collective time spent with her. I have no right to feel the way I do about her, I look up at Banner, "It's just she's not the most open person in the world, but with you she seems very relaxed." Something, I could never achieve. I think about her, all that time ago outside the hotel after the Gala. How tense she was...
"Naw, Natasha, she's just- she likes to flirt." He mumbles shaking his head.
Either he really is this oblivious or he doesn't know how lucky he is. I shake my head reaching over the bar for another beer, finding myself wishing my metabolism wasn't so damn fast because the idea of being numb is very appealing at this moment, "I've seen her flirt, up close." I think of all those moments, glimpse, pieces of time I go over and over, none of it is like when she is with Banner, like she believes it..."This ain't that."
Bruce looks conflicted.
I swallow, "Look," I want her to be happy, even if I can't give it to her, ultimately I know that. I don't want her to be alone, "As maybe the world's leading authority on waiting to long, don't." I look at him and Banner is looking at the ground thinking about my words. He probably thinks I'm talking about Peggy, of course he doesn't know I am talking about Natasha. I don't need him too, I don't want him to. "You both deserve a win." I say as he looks up.
Bruce is a good guy. He will do right by Nat. He is a good guy. Which makes the agonizing jealousy in my chest even more shameful. I can't hold his eyes. Suddenly. I wonder where Thor is with his powerful booze. I think I have earned a win now too. Or at least to possibly forget tonight.
Little did I know our world was about to implode...