Veria was trapped. Endless darkness surrounded her, and she plummeted into its depths at a terrifying speed. Screaming assaulted her senses, and she covered her ears for want of silence. Just stop, she thought. Stop. Make it all stop. Her throat suddenly began to feel sore, and Veria realized that the screaming was her own.

She gasped for breath, and the world came flooding back. The main cavern of the Sanctuary was ragged, but quiet. Bodies were strewn about the cave floor. Gathered hesitantly near her were her brothers and sisters, wanting to comfort her but afraid to crowd. Tulian's body was laying at her knees.
"Tulian...?" her voice was hoarse. Tears clouded her sight and poured steadily down her cheeks. Inside, she felt numb, as if a void had opened up where her stomach should be and was swallowing up everything beneath her skin.

Fingers delicately touched Veria's shoulder, and she looked up without thought. Astrid crouched beside her. She said nothing, and looked past her. Veria followed her gaze and saw Arnbjorn grasping the Breton by the collar of her armor. She was still unconscious, and hung limply from his grasp. Veria's face melted into fury. The void in her body filled with fire, and she started toward Arnbjorn.
Astrid caught her by the arm, and Veria turned a poisonous gaze on her.
"No, Veria," she said. "She might know something. We need to do this right." Veria's eyes didn't falter, and Astrid jerked her closer. "Listen to me, Veria," she said sternly. "You're blind right now. Let us handle this. That's an order."

Astrid dropped Veria's arm and led Arnbjorn with their prisoner to the dungeon. They had means to get the information they needed. Veria turned away. Tulian was still laying alone on the ground. Some of the Brotherhood began to drift away towards the other bodies, but Veria fell to her knees again beside Tulian. She pulled him gently towards her so his head rested on her arm. Seeing him so still felt completely wrong. Everything inside her wanted to wake him up, because he couldn't possibly be dead. But Veria knew better. She knew death better than most.
She drew her fingers over Tulian's eyes and closed them. Seeing him then, looking like he was asleep, almost made it worse. Veria rested her forehead against his brow, already beginning to chill.
Her fury faltered, and despair began to seep into her bones.

Babette came and helped Veria wrap Tulian in burial cloth. They set him next to their other fallen brothers, who were thankfully few. The mercenaries didn't receive such respect, and their bodies were stripped and discarded quickly.
"He's with Sithis, then?" Veria said quietly as she stood with Babette in the main chamber.
Babette was quiet a moment, then said, "I expect so."
"But..." Veria trailed off. "He was...what am I supposed to do now?"
"Find who's responsible," Babette said decisively. "And make him suffer."

Her words did not bring solace, and the emptiness in Veria's chest deepened. And after that, she wondered. What will I do then? She remained silent, and Babette was content to say no more.
Just then, Astrid emerged from one of the corridors and called to Veria. "She's awake," she said. "I thought you'd like to observe."
Veria didn't respond at first, but eventually followed Astrid down the corridor to the dungeons.

The Breton was strapped to the wooden frame. A table next to her held daggers, poisons, and other assorted tools. Arnbjorn stood at the entrance, his arms crossed and waiting for Astrid to return. When she entered, the Breton said, "You're going to torture me?"
"You've caused us quite a lot of pain, sweetheart," Astrid said, her voice like oil on an obsidian knife. "Of course we're going to torture you. But we have questions, too."
"...I don't know anything."
Astrid neared the Breton and crossed her arms behind her back. "I doubt that. How about we start with your name? Surely you know that."

The woman sneered and remained silent. This was met immediately with a slap across the face. Astrid replaced her hand behind her back and said again, "Your name, sweetheart."
"...Elara."
"Nice name. How about who you're working for?"
Elara shifted in her bindings. "You must know that already. A man named Rudnar." Astird slapped her again.

"Yes we did know that," she said. "Who hired him?"
Elara didn't respond, and Astrid hit her again. "Why should I tell you anything?" She said. "You're going to kill me either way!"
"Yes, but wouldn't you prefer to die quickly?" Astrid drew her blade and held it to Elara's neck. "I've drawn this kind of thing out for days. You really think you can withstand that?" She twisted the blade, and Elara winced as a drop of blood sprouted from her skin.

Something tugged at the back of Veria's mind. Curiosity. Paranoia, perhaps. Maybe fear. Whatever it was, it issued forth a question that Veria didn't have the strength to withhold. "How did you find this place?" She said. Elara and Astrid looked at her, their moment broken.
"How?" Veria asked again. Astrid pressed the dagger dangerously into Elara's flesh.

"We tracked you," she said. "From Solitude."
The hair on the back of Veria's neck stood on end. Something akin to panic dripped down her body, slowly building to roaring cascade. "What?" She said.
"We tracked you...you and the-Argonian-" Astrid twisted the knife slowly and narrowed her eyes.
"That's impossible!" Veria yelled. "Veezara and I were quick and careful, we were-"
"Difficult to track, but not impossible. It took time. We had to double back a few times but..."

Veria's senses slowly slipped from the dungeon. Her mind pieced together every scrap of memory she could recover of her and Veezara's journey home. It couldn't be right. They were careful. They traveled at night, in the shadows, sometimes not even on the road. She denied it as long as she could bear, but finally in her heart she knew that in the end...
It was my fault, she thought. I led them here. I exposed us. They came here because of me...They killed Tulian... I killed Tulian...

Veria turned her face so that Elara wouldn't see the tears sprouting out of her eyes. She covered her mouth and tried to stifle them. She couldn't stay in the dungeon.
Astrid glanced back and paused mid-question to see Veria's back disappearing up the stairs. She returned to Elara and continued her interrogation.

I killed Tulian... I killed Tulian... I killed Tulian...

The realization was crippling. Veria's grief magnified beyond tears, and she lost entirely the will to walk, to stand, and speak. She left the dungeon, climbed the stairs to her bed, and collapsed there. The following day passed in a blur. She neither spoke nor ate, despite what her brothers and sisters said to her. Once, Astrid even tried yelling at her, but to no avail. For a short time, Veria lost the will to live, and felt content to lay still until she starved to death.
But slowly her sadness evolved into anger, and with every passing hour her desire to see Rudnar suffer grew.

Elara did well, for a soft ranger. She withheld as much as she could for a while, but when Astrid finally killed her the next day, she had told them everything they needed. When Astrid rose from the dungeons, Veria appeared in front of her like a shadow. Her hair was unkempt, and she somehow looked paler.
She said simply, "Rudnar."
Astrid squared her shoulders. "I know where he is. Only he and a few others know our location. I'm going to send for their deaths immediately."
"May I kill him." It wasn't so much a question as a declaration.

Astrid considered Veria for a moment. She wasn't in her right mind, but denying her this small piece of recompense might hurt her more than help her. Finally, she nodded. "He's not far. In the Sleeping Giant Inn, in Riverwood. Likely waiting for news on the raid."
Veria started straight for the entrance, which was already under repair by Veezara and Festus, a Brotherhood wizard. She was stopped when Astrid called out to her. "Veria," she said. "Remember your place. Make him suffer if you must, but do not endanger us by getting caught."

Veria stood there, her back to Astrid, in silence for longer than Astrid expected. Finally she nodded and continued on her way. "May Sithis be with you," Astrid called, but Veria didn't reply.

She felt neither the ground beneath her feet nor the bite of the midnight air as she traveled north. Veria moved like a shadow in the trees. She was swift, and every step passed over the rocks and grass like a breeze. She was in Riverwood before the moons reached their zenith, and just in time. Rudnar was descending the steps of the Sleeping Giant Inn, clad in a long brown cloak and in a hurry.

Veria stalked him along the road. His movements were hurried, and frantic. It was likely he had finally realized the fate of his mercenaries, and sought to make himself scarce before someone came for him. But it was too late. Veria followed him in the shadows across the river to the mountain. It was the worst place he could be.
The pines that choked the road to Bleak Falls Barrow rose in the darkness like great black hands, clawing at the stars and blocking the light of the moons. Rudnar sensed danger as Veria drew closer. He paused, then drew his knife and turned. Veria knocked it away and landed a kick to his chest before he could retaliate. He roared and stumbled backward. "Who's there!?" He yelled. Veria dealt a swift blow to his head, and he was dazed. She watched his head hang and bob back and forth, then hit him again, and he was out cold.

Rudnar wasn't wearing his heavy armor, likely in favor of fast travel to wherever he was headed. This was fortunate. Veria didn't have to worry about all the extra weight of it. She threw his sword and dagger in the river and stashed his travel bag in a nearby bush. Pulling Rudnar away from the road should have been near impossible for Veria, but her body was fueled by fury and her strength knew no bounds in that moment.

Veria dragged him up the seldom-trodden path to the Barrows and stopped at a secluded corner of the cliffs. She stripped him of his cloak and traveling tunic, bound his hands behind him around the trunk of a tree, and waited. She turned her knife around in her hand impatiently as he began to stir.
Rudnar groaned at the pain in his head. Slowly he regained his senses, and came to understand the position he was in. He tried the bindings, but they held fast. He looked up and saw Veria standing in front of him, the moonlight pouring over her form.

"You," he said. His voice was laden not with fear but anger. "My men are all dead, then?"
"Every last one," Veria said. Her voice was a void. It slid through the air like black oil, and chilled Rudnar's spine despite his stony composure. She approached him and jabbed the tip of the dagger into the surface of his neck. "There are just some loose ends to tie up."
"Get it over with, then."
She slowly dragged the dagger over his skin, drawing a harmless, yet painful, red line over his collar bone. He winced and she said, "You're not getting off so easy, Rudnar." She flipped the hilt in her hand so the blade protruded downward from her fist. "I want you more than dead."

She plunged the dagger into his leg and let him yell. He didn't bellow as much as the average prey, but he was a warrior. He could withstand much. Good, she thought. He'll last a long time.

Veria descended the mountain just as the morning rays of light were poking through the trees. She began to walk, and wrapped Rudnar's cloak around her body to fend off a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature of the air. She was more than exhausted. She felt empty. She couldn't feel her heart beating, or the pulse of her blood. Not even tears seemed to exist inside her anymore.
She had tortured Rudnar for hours. Horrible things were done to him by her hand, even by Brotherhood standards. Tulian was avenged. Blood paid for in blood.
But Veria felt nothing. Why? She had thought with every cut she made. "Why isn't it working?" She went on for hours, cutting deeper and waiting for something to fill her, but nothing came.

No relief, no solace, not even satisfaction. Rudnar was dead, and he had paid dearly, but it made no difference. There was a void in her chest that refused to be filled. She felt it suckle at every fiber, every hair on her body as she walked home. With every step it swallowed more of her, until finally when she stood before the broken entrance to the Falkreath Sanctuary, she was naught but an empty shell.

"Veria," she blinked. Festus stood at the door, a dusty tome in one hand and red light in the other. "Welcome back-" He stopped. Veria's cloak hung open. Her armor was caked in blood, now drying to a sickening brownish red color. "You're a mess," Festus said. "I mean...well done and all that but...clean yourself up for Sithis' sake."
Veria drew the cloak around her and swept by Festus without reply. "Well, nice to see you, too," he remarked sarcastically as she disappeared down the stairs.

Upon entering, Veria's body was suddenly assaulted by a wave of exhaustion. Her muscles burned, and her legs buckled. She sat on her knees for a moment before rising and walking slowly across the main cavern. All she could do was wonder why her bed was so far away.
As she went the greetings of her brothers and sisters slid off of her without notice. They noticed her state and kept their distance. When Veria finally reached her bed she stripped off her armor and lay there in her undergarments, waiting for something.

Memories came. From the sheets of her bed, from the walls, from the shadows and beyond came echoes. Tulian's voice rang in her ears. Everything he said, all they had done together, came pouring into Veria's mind with everything she saw. It all piled onto itself until is was a roar in her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around her ears. With every memory came a wave of grief so great in magnitude that it tore through her flesh like knives.

She had been through so much, endured and survived so much so that she might be with Tulian. A scar on her thigh, evidence of the pain she endured years ago, began to burn. The thought that Tulian was gone, and that their time together was over, was too much to bear. The memories assaulted her senses, taunting her with things that were and will never be again, things that could have been and will never be at all.

Veria buried herself under the blankets of her bed, and slowly she let darkness overtake her mind.