Chapter Fifteen

Natasha

The last thing I remember is being about to do the Lullaby with the Hulk. Then we got shot up by Ultron.

I find myself on the deck of the helicarrier. I am trying to clear my mind, like trying to run through thigh deep snow. My head is pounding. I watch Bruce sailing up, after the Quinn jet, after Ultron. Slowly, I struggle to sit. Oh my god. "Bruce," I start coughing as I say his name. I stand up. Worry wrenches into my consciousness. "Oh god,"

I force myself up and start to run after the Quinn jet but soon realize that is ridiculous, stupid concussion. Instead, I skid to a halt and turn to run towards the door that leads down into the Ship.

I find myself in front of a bunch of screens, surrounded by people as I get patched into the Quinn Jet's comm system. I focus on the screen, it's all I can do. Not be aware of the people around me, or the fact that I don't know if this is going to work, or the fact that Bruce is depending on me for this to work. I just focus on the screen.

"Hey big guy," I find myself saying, "You did it. The job's finished." I sound breathless to even myself, "Now I need you to turn this bird around ok?" I see him turn around on the screen at the sound of my voice, and I take a deep breath, "We can't track you in stealth mode." I watch him on the screen, maybe it is working, maybe he does hear me, "So help me out, I need you-"

The video feed goes black, and suddenly I feel completely exposed. Standing on the bridge. Alone. Bruce is gone. Really gone. And he left me behind. That wasn't part of the plan, he was supposed to be….

I blew my shot. That's what I get for trying to save the world. Be good for once. Shoulda ran with him. But then... the world started to come apart. Literally, we were watching Sokovia float away from the world. And Bruce wanted to leave but I couldn't. I knew we had to help. I couldn't leave. But now...

Now I am left, like a chump.

I turn. I wanna run but I don't, I hold myself together. I slowly start to walk. I have to get away. Be alone. Hidden, away from the eyes, away from the people. I move through the halls. I'll be alone soon. I will find some safe place to let myself fall apart in. I rush around a corner and literally run into Clint.

He looks exhausted and is spattered in what I quickly access to be someone else's blood. "Hey! Where are you- Nat? What's going on? Are you alright?"

I look at him, I know I must look like a disaster on legs, at least to him. One of the few people who can always seem to see the real me, past the bravado. "He's gone. He's… gone…."

Clint's brow furrows and he looks down at me, "What? Who-?" He shakes his head, looking confused.

"Bruce," I say, my voice sounds hollow, "The….the Hulk, he's gone. He left, in the Jet. We can't-" I look down at the floor, "We can't track him. He's gone."

Clint's face washes clean and he just looks at me with sad eyes. "Aww, Nat," He wraps his arms around me pulling me into a rib-crushing hug. I want to scream. I want to shove him off of me, tell him to get a hold of himself but I can't. I am frozen. Feeling overwhelmingly numb. "He'll be back, he's just-" Clint's placations become just nonsensical ringing in my ears.

I stand there in his arms. Utterly in the dark about what I am supposed to do next.