Katara opened her eyes to find Momo inches from her face. She blinked. Momo blinked. His paw was raised as if he was about to start tapping her mouth, the typical sign for requesting food. Normally he saved that trick for Sokka or Aang, but she guessed he was making do with her now that the others weren't available.
"Sorry, Momo," she said, showing her empty hands. "I don't have any food for you."
Momo must have got the hint because he lowered his ears and flew off to pester Appa. The bison rumbled in protest at being disturbed. He had been all tucked up like a furry ball in the more spacious part of the barn, but now he had a lemur jumping around on his head and chittering. Katara bit back a smile; those two were like siblings sometimes. Not that her amusement lasted long. Zuko and Aang hadn't moved from the position in which she and Changpu had placed them. That bothered her. She had been checking on both boys regularly throughout the night to see if they would wake, but neither had stirred at her touch or call. Now there was enough light seeping through the barn to tell her it was almost dawn. The crow of a pig-rooster confirmed her fear. Her stomach twisted. She didn't want to believe what her instincts were telling her.
"You've got to wake up now," she said. "Okay? Please, just wake up."
The boys didn't stir. Katara swallowed against the lump in her throat. She moved closer and once again began the process of checking their vitals and overall condition. Aang was still the same as the last time: stable enough, but clearly not recovered. It would take a lot more healing sessions to fix the damage to his chest and untangle the chi twisted inside him. Not much she could do about that right now. Instead, she prodded, called his name, even outright pinched him to make him flinch. None of it worked. Aang was not responsive. The realisation made something plummet in her chest. No more denying the truth. If her diagnosis was correct, it looked as if he'd somehow fallen into a coma. This was not something she knew how to fix.
Katara gripped his hand. "Aang, you can't stay like this. Are you listening to me? We need you. Please come back." She tightened her grip. "Please."
Of course he didn't stir. The heavy thing in her chest settled like a rock in her stomach. She let his fingers slip from hers and hung her head. She didn't know what to do. The Spirit Oasis water was supposed to heal him. It wasn't supposed to leave him trapped in his own mind.
Was it her fault? Was she just not a good enough healer?
"Stop it," she muttered, forcing herself to straighten.
Nothing could be gained from thinking in such a way. True, she felt helpless—so helpless the weight of the emotion threatened to crush her—but there were still things she could do to help.
Katara knelt next to Zuko. He had no obvious injuries and had seemed okay once she had used the Spirit Oasis water on Aang. Well, aside from the fact he also wouldn't wake up. Now she noted that he had lost some of the colour in his cheeks. His breathing also seemed much slower and shallower.
"Hey," she said in alarm, checking his vitals. His skin felt cold. "What's with you?"
His heart was beating, though it was weaker than normal. She encased her hands in water. It was easy enough to tap into his meridian paths. What bothered her was that there was no brimming warmth to greet her in turn. His energy had always shocked her for feeling so alive, but now it just felt dull and sluggish. There was barely a hint of fire. Worse, she still couldn't figure out what was causing his condition to deteriorate.
Panic flared in her chest. Katara shoved the emotion ruthlessly aside. The important thing was that Zuko was still breathing and had a heartbeat. She could work with that.
"What happened?" Changpu's voice came from behind her.
She glanced over her shoulder to see him standing in the doorway. A pig-rooster had followed him into the barn. "Lee's condition is getting worse," she said, trying her best to sound calm.
Changpu was at her side in an instant. "What can I do? Is there anything you need?"
Katara shook her head. "I don't know, but—" Her eyes widened. "No, I do know. Sunlight!"
"Huh?"
Her lips curved into a smile. "You rise with the moon; I rise with the sun."
Changpu blinked. "Um, okay."
"Look, it's something he said to me once. I thought of it now because this is just like the time he collapsed after healing his uncle. Lee doesn't have anything physically wrong with him. It's his energy that's messed up." She guided the water encasing her hands back into her flask and got to her feet. "Just trust me and help me get him outside."
Changpu didn't argue. Soon, they had Zuko stretched out on the ground outside the barn, positioning his body so that he was bathed in the morning sun. Momo followed to see what they were doing. Katara brushed him away and began tugging off Zuko's tunic.
Changpu cleared his throat. "Uh, is there a reason you're undressing him?"
"Direct contact to the skin is better," she muttered, not glancing up. "He'll absorb energy faster. At least that's what Yingjie said."
Changpu scratched his cheek. "If you say so."
Katara set about removing Zuko's boots and pants. The sun wouldn't be at its peak for a while, but she hoped this would be enough. It had to be enough. Her hands trembled a little as she worked, not quite able to hide the anxiety pulsing through her, but she soon had him down to his undergarments. In a less tense time, she might have been embarrassed that she had just stripped a sixteen-year-old boy. As it was, she could only focus on getting him stabilised. She touched his unscarred cheek. His skin still felt cold.
"Stay with me, Zuko," she murmured, forgetting to use his fake name. "I don't know how to fix you, so you're going to have to help me, okay? You have to keep fighting."
His eyelashes didn't even flutter. She resisted the urge to cry. Having both boys comatose was too much. She felt like the smallest thing would make her snap and crumple. It was willpower alone that kept her back straight and her cheeks dry.
"Don't worry, Katara," Changpu said gently. Perhaps he could tell that her brave face was just a façade. "They're both fighters. I'm sure they'll wake up soon."
She nodded and got to her feet. "How long can we stay here?"
"I let my dad know what happened. He's fine with us using the storage barn to hide out for a while. This isn't a very big farm, so we don't have to worry about workers seeing us either. It's just my parents, grandma, and two younger sisters who run this place. We'll be safe here."
"Thanks."
She knew she didn't sound enthused, but she really was grateful for all Changpu and his family were doing. Helping fugitives was a criminal offence. It was a big deal that they'd been allowed to stay.
Changpu gripped her shoulder. "Hey, we're going to get through this, alright?"
Her eyes prickled. Maybe it was because Changpu was older than her. Maybe it was because, when he gripped her shoulder and talked to her like that, he reminded her of her brother. She would have given anything to have Sokka at her side. Sure, Sokka was a spaz sometimes, but he always knew how to calm her down when it mattered. Changpu seemed to be of the same ilk.
She wiped her eyes and forced a smile. "You're right. I'm sorry I'm being so emotional."
"You don't need to apologise. They're your friends. It's only natural to be worried."
Katara's smile softened into a much more natural expression. "You know, you're a really nice guy. I'm glad we found each other."
His cheeks coloured. "I just don't like seeing you so sad. Besides, I really do think everything will work out."
"Yeah."
They'd all come so far together. It didn't seem right that this should be where their journey ended. Zuko and Aang would come back to her. They had to. There was still so much they needed to achieve, still so much she wanted to experience with them. Until then, she would watch over them and do what she could to protect and heal their bodies. She would believe in her friends.
oOo
Aang floated in nothingness. Everything around him was greyish mist. No walls, no ground, not even anything above. The nothingness stretched as far as the eye could see. A deep sadness filled him at the sight. Somehow, he was sure that this place had used to be filled with life—that all of the past Avatars had once been linked to him here, waiting for him to call upon them.
"Am I really alone now?"
Before the war, back when he'd still lived at the Southern Air Temple, he would have given anything to just be a normal boy. Now he felt like something precious had been snatched from him. It felt wrong. So empty and lonely and silent. He didn't like this. He didn't want it at all. A lump formed in his throat and his heart felt like it might burst.
"Hey!" he yelled into the nothingness. "Is anyone there? Roku? Kyoshi? Anyone?"
Something glimmered in the distance. Aang made a frantic dash for it. A narrow path formed under his feet the moment he took a step, as if the nothingness was reacting to his desire. His footsteps sounded too loud to his ears. The sound didn't echo; it just vanished into the nothingness, reminding him that he was the only one here in this endless space. Well, him and the glimmering thing he was running towards.
"Roku!" he yelled. "Is that you?"
The mist began to clear. He saw that the glimmering thing was some kind of doorway of light. Or, at least, he guessed it was a doorway. There was no actual door or cover, just a rectangular-like opening that sat in the middle of nowhere. It also looked the same from both sides. The weirdest part was that he felt warm being near it, as if he had stepped into the sunshine. Now that he thought about it, the feeling was familiar. It reminded him of the golden thread that had stopped him from falling into darkness, of a boy who had fused their energies together and turned into a sun-like sphere of flames.
Aang's heart clenched. "Zuko?"
He took a step closer to the doorway. His mouth felt dry and his heart pounded. Zuko's presence had glowed so brightly within him earlier, back when he'd still been struggling for life, but then he'd found himself in this nothingness and everything else had become dulled. Strange how he hadn't realised he'd lost track of the golden thread until now.
He let out a breath and stepped through the opening. It felt like walking through flames, except the heat didn't burn him; it was warm and gentle. He blinked when he reached the other side. A part of him had expected to see the cocoon of fire again, like the place where he had first run into Zuko. What he saw was a garden. There was a cherry tree near a pond. A small child in nice robes sat perched by the edge.
"Um." Aang cleared his throat. "Hey, do you know where my friend is? His name's Zuko. I thought I would find him here, but—"
The child stood up and turned to face him. Aang's voice got lost in his throat. This boy didn't have a scar and his features were softened with youth, but the pale gold eyes were the same. So was the solemn expression. Aang was undoubtedly looking at a younger version of Zuko. Either that or Zuko had a little brother he'd never told anyone about.
"You shouldn't be here, Avatar," Zuko-who-was-not-Zuko stated in a grave voice. "You might get lost."
"Lost?"
"This isn't your dream. Staying here too long will be dangerous."
Aang touched a leaf that was hanging near his face. It felt waxy and smooth, just as if it was alive. "This is a dream? But it feels so real."
"You focus on the oddest things." He shook his head. "Look, I'm only going to say this one more time. You need to leave. This place is a maze: the deeper you go, the harder it will be for you to get back. Understand?"
"Not really. Besides, all that's left back that way is lots of misty nothingness. I won't get anywhere drifting around in that."
"That's not my problem."
Aang's expression flattened. "You really are Zuko, aren't you?"
"Huh?"
"You're just as grumpy as him."
Zuko-who-was-not-Zuko remained unmoved. "Hurry up and leave."
"No." Aang grinned at his shocked expression. "I came here to find my friend. I don't know what's going on or why you're suddenly tiny, but my heart tells me that I need to be here."
Zuko tsked in irritation. "You're wasting your time. He's in too deep now. You'll never find him."
Aang's brow creased. "Wait, do you mean Zuko? But aren't you—"
"Dummy." His outline started to flicker. "If you can't even tell what I am, you'll never survive here."
Aang blinked and found himself alone in the garden. Okay, that had been weird. He scratched his cheek and looked around at his surroundings. So, this place was some kind of dream. It also sounded like Zuko was definitely inside here somewhere. He wasn't sure why or what exactly he had stumbled into, but either way he knew he couldn't turn back. Being here just felt right. It was like when he had grabbed hold of the golden thread; he had known he was being led in the right direction.
"Guess I'll start walking," he muttered.
He headed away from the pond. The garden started to blur even as he walked: colours morphed and swirled around him like paint, shifting into a new scene. Walls rose up around him, along with red drapes and the largest bed he had ever seen. The whole place screamed of wealth. Still, for all the room's spaciousness and sumptuous décor, there was something almost lonely about it. Or maybe that was just because the boy huddled on the bed looked so dwarfed in comparison, as if he was being crushed by the grandeur around him.
"Zuko?" Aang questioned.
This version of Zuko looked older than the one from the garden. Maybe nine or ten years old. He was wearing white robes.
"Hey," Aang said, taking a step closer, "what's going o—"
A young girl entered the room and walked right through Aang. Literally right through him. He blinked and touched his body. It felt solid enough. What the heck?
"Still hiding in here?" the girl said by way of greeting. Her voice was sharp and rather mocking.
Zuko relaxed his grip on his knees. "Go away, Azula."
She laughed. "Come on, Zuzu, you should be happy. Father became the Fire Lord today. That means you're now the crown prince."
"How can you think that would make me happy? Lu Ten was supposed to be the crown prince, but he got killed! And now M-Mum's g-gone, and Grandfather's dead, and—"
The scene started to blur. Now Aang was standing in a courtyard surrounded by pillars and with the hot sun beating down on his back. Zuko was also there, though he looked older again. He still didn't have his scar.
"Again," a cool voice commanded.
An old man was sitting in the shade not far from Zuko, along with two other men and some servants. Judging by the double layers on the old man's robes, he had to be someone of high rank. Zuko inhaled and started moving through a set of beginner firebending moves. Aang was surprised at how clumsy Zuko was with his footwork. He had always been so graceful for a non-airbender, at least from what Aang had seen, but here Zuko was overstepping his stances and turning at awkward angles. He ended up tripping and landing on his butt.
The old man narrowed his eyes. "You are the worst firebender I have ever seen. No wonder your previous instructor committed suicide. He was probably so ashamed to have you as a student that he saw no alternative. Nothing can fix your uselessness!"
Zuko flinched, though he soon pulled himself together and scrambled to his feet. "I'm sorry, Master Shinya," he said, bowing. "I'll do it again. I'll—"
"How can the Fire Nation be proud of an heir who can't even master the basics? Princess Azula is already onto the advanced set. Everyone knows she is a prodigy, but you ..."
Zuko clenched his hands into fists. "I'll get better."
"Words mean nothing. I want to see results!"
Zuko bowed stiffly and walked back to the centre of the training ground. Aang's heart felt like it was breaking. One of the men next to the firebending master asked if it was okay for Shinya to talk to the crown prince like that. Wouldn't he get in trouble? Shinya let out a low laugh.
"Even the Fire Lord sees that boy as worthless. Mark my words, Prince Zuko will not last long as the heir. These weak royals are always got rid of in some way or another."
The three men laughed. Aang glanced at Zuko in concern. If he could hear the conversation from this distance, it followed Zuko could as well. Instead of looking upset, however, Zuko's expression was steeled with determination. No tears, no frown. Just grim resolve. He exhaled and shifted through the stances, weaving fire around him in blasts of heat. He didn't stumble once.
"That's it," Aang murmured. "You're getting the hang of it now."
He stared back at the group of old men to see if they had noticed Zuko's improved form. The old men were still laughing. Master Shinya wasn't even looking at his student. Not that Zuko seemed to care. He continued training until sweat dripped from his skin and his breathing was ragged. Aang couldn't stand to watch anymore.
"Pathetic, isn't it?"
He jumped and looked down to see the same tiny Zuko he'd found in the garden standing at his side.
"When did you get here?" Aang demanded.
"Really? That's all you can ask me?"
Aang pursed his lips. This Zuko was far too much like grumpy sixteen-year-old Zuko, all bite and sarcasm. It almost made Aang want to retort, but he had never liked to argue. He sighed and glanced back at the Zuko who was still firebending. "Why do they treat him this way?" he asked. "Can't they see how hard Zuko is trying?"
"They aren't wrong. Prince Zuko was a weak bender."
"But—"
"There's no point getting upset over it. Even Prince Zuko knew he was no good, especially not compared to his sister. All he did was disappoint people. The Fire Lord tried to keep him out of sight most of the time."
Aang's stomach wriggled in an uncomfortable way. "Did his previous instructor really kill himself?"
"Master Mizuto?" A shrug. "That man died by poisoning when Prince Zuko was eight years old. It was believed to be self-inflicted, but who knows? Mizuto knew something about the Children of the Undying Fire and had started investigating too much. It's possible he was murdered."
Aang's eyes widened. "Wha—but that's just—"
"Did you think this was some kind of game?" Child Zuko shook his head. "Anyway, there's nothing further to see here. Prince Zuko will eventually be interrupted by his sister and she'll challenge him to a bending match. He'll lose, of course."
Aang's stomach did the wriggly thing again. "You say it like it's nothing. That must have been horrible for him after listening to those old men say all that stuff."
"I told you there's no point getting upset about it. What's done is done. Besides, this was the turning point." His expression lost all emotion as he stared at his older form struggling to bend. "Today, Prince Zuko will decide to become the best crown prince the Fire Nation has seen. Better even than Lu Ten."
Aang's brow furrowed. "You don't sound too happy about that."
Silence.
"Hey," Aang said. "What's wrong? Why do you look so tense?"
His companion turned away from the training ground. "Come, Avatar," he said softly.
Aang had to run to keep up with Child Zuko. The world rippled around them, shifting from a stone courtyard to an elaborate hall. There were men in military armour seated near the dais at the front, all facing each other as if having a meeting. Zuko was also with them. He looked close to Aang's own age now. A wall of flames guarded the dais, but Aang could still make out glimpses of the man seated on the throne. His breath caught. That had to be the Fire Lord.
"You can't sacrifice an entire division like that! Those soldiers love and defend our nation! How can you betray them?"
Aang's heart clenched as he watched Zuko try to defend the division of new recruits who were to act as bait. Try and fail. It was gut-wrenching.
"It gets worse," Child Zuko murmured.
The scene changed again. Now they were in some kind of arena. Crowds of people watched the two figures standing opposite each other on a platform in the centre. Aang recognised the smaller one as Zuko. The other looked a lot like the prince, but he was older and broader and his black hair was much longer. A five-pronged headpiece gleamed on his topknot. Aang's heart lurched when he realised this was Zuko's father. This was the man who had sat behind the flames in the war room.
"What is this?" Aang asked. "What are they doing?"
"Agni Kai. This is the day destiny was put in motion."
Aang's stomach twisted. "Why does Zuko look so horrified?"
"Prince Zuko thought he would be facing the general he had spoken out against, but as you can see …"
It was like a stone had plummeted inside Aang. He watched as Zuko knelt on the dais in front of his father, watched as Zuko begged and pleaded.
"Please, Father! I only had the Fire Nation's best interest at heart! I'm sorry I spoke out of turn!"
"You will fight for your honour."
Aang's heart quickened. "The Fire Lord isn't really going to make him fight, is he?" His voice sounded panicked even to his own ears. "How could he expect Zuko to fight his own father?"
The child at his side said nothing. Aang swallowed and watched the Fire Lord move closer. Zuko pressed himself lower to the ground, bending into a full kowtow.
"I meant you no disrespect!" he cried. "I am your loyal son!"
The Fire Lord was not moved. It was awful. Aang could see the tears spilling down Zuko's cheeks, see the resignation that entered his eyes as he finally raised his face to meet his father's gaze. Zuko must have known what was going to happen next.
"You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher."
Aang looked away. He couldn't bear to watch. That didn't stop the screams. Something hot prickled the corners of his eyes. A small hand grasped his and led him from the arena. When they at last stopped walking, Aang found that he was back in the garden with the pond. The place didn't seem as nice now.
"Why did you show me that?" he asked in a thick voice.
His cheeks were damp with tears, and his heart ached. Zuko had said once that it was his father who had burned and banished him. Aang had not known it had happened like that though.
Child Zuko sat next to the pond. "Prince Zuko has never succeeded at anything he sought to achieve in life. His entire sixteen years have been marked by failure and suffering." He flicked the water's surface with his finger, creating a flow of ripples. "Put simply, he should have given up long ago."
"That's not true! Zuko has done heaps of good things! Just look at all the people he's saved! He saved my life! He saved Iroh and Changpu and—"
"Yes. Prince Zuko has done many good things with his healing powers, but that's the problem. We both know his ability comes with a price. Fire cannot exist without something to fuel it. It has to burn and consume something."
Aang's heart felt heavy in his chest. "What are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying that Prince Zuko has finally given up." His lips quirked into a wry smile. "Though he doesn't see it that way. He thinks he's fulfilling his destiny."
"Destiny?"
Child Zuko stood and faced Aang with solemn eyes. "When Prince Zuko turned his back on the destiny his father gave him, the one that would have seen him capture you, he was left adrift with no direction or purpose. But then he became friends with you and the others. He started to care. He even started to believe that your cause was just and that you were someone the world desperately needed."
Aang swallowed. He remembered what Zuko had told him inside the cocoon of flames.
"I never believed in those words before, but after travelling with you and seeing what you're capable of, I want to believe in the legend. I want to believe in you."
Aang's throat felt too clogged. It was hard to get words out. "Are you saying it's my fault?" He shook his head. "You don't need to tell me that. I already know I'm the reason Zuko is suffering. I was stupid and careless and—"
"No, It's actually not your fault. Prince Zuko just has no sense of self-worth."
"Huh?"
"Think about it, Avatar. How do you think a child who got told he was useless on a regular basis would end up? This is a boy whose life was viewed as disposable by most of his family, a boy who has failed and struggled far too many times."
"But—but he has Iroh. He has all of us now and—"
"Yes," Child Zuko acknowledged. "He has his uncle. He has you, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Mai, Changpu, even that Joo Dee lady. You have all made him feel like he is worth something. But don't you see? Prince Zuko thinks your lives are worth more than his. Even if he knows now that there are people who would mourn his loss, he will still choose to heal in a critical situation instead of guarding his own life, especially when it comes to you. You're the Avatar; in his eyes, the world needs you more than anyone else."
Aang felt like he had been punched in the chest. "But I'm not. I lost my connection to my past lives. I'm not anything special. No one should be sacrificing anything for me!"
"That is a problem, but it's too late now. Prince Zuko pushed the bond too far."
Aang stepped forward. "Please, just tell me what's really going on. What's happened to Zuko? Where can I find him?"
"Haven't you guessed yet?"
Aang glanced around at his surroundings. The garden, the pond. A whisper in his heart told him that this was a place where Zuko had found comfort as a child. The other places he had seen were all echoes of Zuko's memories; they had faded in and out from each other, more like being trapped in a nightmare than anything. It was as if Zuko was looking back on his life and trying to see what went wrong, what he could have done better. Or maybe he was just trying to fit all the pieces together so he could understand his destiny.
"I'm saying that Prince Zuko has finally given up. Though he doesn't see it that way. He thinks he's fulfilling his destiny."
Aang swallowed against the building lump in his throat. "I know Zuko fused his energy with me somehow. It was like our bodies became one and we were sharing the same heartbeat."
"Yes."
"But ... but that can't be right. I mean, we're two separate people."
Child Zuko raised his eyebrow. "You did something similar once, though on a lesser level. Why do you think you passed out for so long afterwards?"
Aang gulped. Right. The day Zuko had been struck with lightning there had been a moment where it was like the two of them had shared one body. He hadn't thought much of it at the time. "I didn't even know what I was doing then," he confessed.
"Well, that was obvious. You're just lucky you're the Avatar and that the connection was cut so quickly. That could have got ugly."
Aang lowered his gaze. It was weird being scolded by someone who looked no older than six years old, but the boy's tone was all Zuko: blunt and honest.
"You said what I did was on a lesser level," Aang said, furrowing his brow. "What do you mean?"
A shrug. "You might be the Avatar and have a certain manipulation over spiritual matters, but you're not a fire healer. You can only push the bond so far. That's why all you managed was to offer up some of your chi to boost Prince Zuko's self-healing abilities."
"But he took it further, right?"
"Yes. He couldn't heal your wounds. He simply didn't have the power. So he opened the door that seals your energy from his and linked completely to you. His heart was working, so yours worked in turn. He could breathe, so you were able to keep breathing." Child Zuko held his gaze. "Do you understand what I'm saying? Prince Zuko did not heal you; he just pushed the bond so far that the separation between you blurred. He shared your pain and, in turn, allowed you to share in his body's health. You were in every sense of the word one being."
Aang frowned. "But I don't feel we're connected like that anymore. Even the golden thread is gone."
"It still takes chi and a lot of willpower to maintain such a connection. Prince Zuko knew the risk. He accepted that he might not wake up again after connecting to you in such a way."
"So he's asleep?"
Child Zuko sighed in obvious impatience. "Where do you think you are, Avatar?"
"Uh ..."
"Do I have to spell out everything for you?" He gestured around them. "I told you this is just a dream. Prince Zuko's dream. He lost control when he was still connected to you and his consciousness was scattered. His real body is just an empty shell right now. I don't even know how you stumbled into this place—maybe your Avatar powers helped—but I wasn't kidding when I said it's dangerous for you to be here."
"Because I might get lost, right?"
Aang thought he understood now. Somehow, he had found an opening into Zuko's consciousness. Even the young boy speaking to him was just an aspect of the prince that had been scattered. If Aang went deeper, he risked losing his own sense of self. People were not supposed to be connected like this. Not so intrinsically. The mind and soul were fragile; it wasn't good to blur lines.
"Why did you tell me all this?" Aang asked. "Just earlier you were telling me to leave."
Child Zuko actually blushed. "You were the one who was stubborn and ignored my advice. I figured if you were going to take the risk anyway then I could give you a hand, just a little." He folded his arms and looked the other way. "But I still think you're stupid. Don't blame me if you end up losing yourself in this place."
Aang's mouth twitched. "You really are a part of Zuko. He's just as bad at asking for help."
He got an unimpressed look for his attempt at humour.
"Anyway," Child Zuko said firmly, "the core of Prince Zuko's being is out there somewhere. If you find it, you might be able to wake him up."
"That's it?"
"Who knows? Are you still willing to take the risk? Remember, the deeper you go, the harder it will be for you to get back to your proper self."
Aang straightened with resolve. "That's fine. This time it's my turn to save him."
"Then good luck, I guess."
Aang blinked. "You're not coming with me?"
"I'm just a scattered piece—more of an echo, really. I only had enough power to guide you this far."
Aang had to admit that he felt a bit disappointed. It was nice to have a companion again. He'd been drifting alone in the nothingness for so long. Child Zuko must have noticed, because his mouth lifted into a smile.
"Having second thoughts already? I can lead you to the exit if you like."
"No." Aang shook his head. "I won't turn back."
"Then stop wasting time." His outline started to flicker. "You can't afford to linger here, Avatar. Neither of you will wake up if you don't hurry."
He vanished on the words.
Aang let out a breath and placed his hand against his heart. "I'm not afraid," he murmured.
Something had guided him through that doorway of light. Even now, he felt a tendril of warmth in his chest. It was like he could almost feel the golden thread that linked him to Zuko, and it was tugging him—
"That way!" Aang said in realisation.
He started running, even as the garden rippled and faded around him. He wasn't sure what was happening on the outside world: whether his friends had got away from the Dai Li safely, whether he should be worried about what would happen when he and Zuko woke up. All he could do was hope that everyone else was okay. Aang knew he'd left them in a tight spot.
I'm sorry, everyone. I'll return with Zuko as soon as I can.
Until then, they would just have to make do on their own.
oOo
Dark. So dark. Toph had been blind from birth, but even she didn't like this. It was a gaping hole that had sucked her in, leaving her bereft of any attachment to her element. Her seismic sense was gone. She felt small. She felt trapped. Voices snuck in to her place of confinement through the air holes, teasing her hearing with sinister words. One of them belonged to Shirong. Her teeth grinded against each other. That bastard. If she could get her hands on him, she'd teach him a thing or two for daring to imprison the Blind Bandit. Except ... except she couldn't do much to anyone right now. This prison was so tiny and ... and was it made of wood? A crate? She couldn't tell. She couldn't tell anything. Her wrists and legs had been bound with what felt like rope. She'd tried to loosen her bonds, but she'd only succeeded in chafing her skin to the point where her wrists and ankles stung unpleasantly. Was she bleeding? Did her captors even care?
Thirsty.
The thought had been getting strong and stronger. It was a hammering in her head. Water. She needed water. Her throat was so parched it was like swallowing sand.
"Tell me how you bend metal, and then you'll get something to drink."
Her lips twisted. She really, really hated that Dai Li bastard. Granted, she didn't act like much of a lady, but that didn't mean she was used to being shoved in crates and denied basic things like food or water. Anger had kept her brazen for the most part. She'd certainly taken delight in telling Shirong where he could shove his questions about metalbending. Still, there was a part of her that wondered what would happen if she kept denying him. The only reason she hadn't been brainwashed was because she was blind and their technique wouldn't work.
I'm not scared.
The words were becoming a mantra. How many times had she told herself this now? How pathetic was she going to become? It wasn't like she hadn't been imprisoned before. Those Earth Rumble idiots back in Gaoling, Bendy and the Fire Nation princess; both times she had managed to get away unscathed. Surely she could do the same again.
Thirsty.
She licked her cracked lips, but there was barely any saliva to relieve the dryness. It was frustrating. So, so frustrating. As if to add insult to her predicament, her bladder felt far too full and ready to burst. She'd been holding on for so long. Weren't they ever going to let her out of this wooden hellhole?
"Hey!" she yelled, raising her legs to kick at the lid. "Let me out!"
The voices paused. One set of footsteps came closer. The person walked in a slow, relaxed gait. She wasn't surprised when Shirong spoke. The bastard was like a smug king parading around his smuggity-smug kingdom now that things were working in the Dai Li's favour. It made her want to punch him in his stupid face, bending or not.
"Ready to talk?" he asked.
She clenched her teeth. His tone sounded far too knowing for her liking. He must have thought he had finally broken her spirit.
"I need to pee," she gritted out. Asking him for anything went against the grain. "I hope you plan to let me out so I can at least go toilet."
His voice got closer. Perhaps he had leaned towards her prison. "I thought I made your situation clear, Miss Beifong. You won't be getting anything until you answer my question."
"What the hell? Do you expect me to sit in my own piss?"
"I wouldn't want to inflict anything so crass on you." His voice was cool yet almost poisonous; he was enjoying this. "Remember, you're bringing this all on yourself with your stubbornness. I could let you out right now if you just answered my question."
Toph's lip curled. "You wanna learn how to bend metal so bad? Figure it out yourself! I have nothing to say to some jumped-up bastard who hides in the shadows and is too much of a pig-chicken to even face me!" Her tone turned mocking. "What, so scared I'll whoop your butts again if you let me free?"
"Scared?" Shirong's voice got closer and softer. "No, Miss Beifong, I am not scared. I am simply not a fool. One does not release the wild beast once it has been contained." A hint of amusement entered his voice. "You must be very thirsty now. Are you sure you don't want to—"
She kicked the crate right where she guessed his face would be on the other side. He laughed softly.
"I'll take that as a no." His voice got more distant again. Perhaps he had straightened to his full height. "Just say the word if you change your mind. We'll be waiting." A click-clack of footsteps sounded as he moved away, but then he paused. "Oh, before I forget, I thought you should know that your friends have been scheduled for execution."
Toph's breath caught. "What?"
"Ah, that's right. You weren't conscious at the time. I'm afraid things took a turn for the worse for your friends after you were incapacitated."
"What happened?" she demanded. "What have you done to my friends?"
"I simply did what was required to subdue the threat to Ba Sing Se's peace. The world does not need an Avatar who interferes where he is not needed, and—"
"Aang?" Her chest felt tight and like her lungs were being squeezed. "You hurt Aang?"
"That boy is likely dead. The waterbender managed to escape with his body before we could confirm, but that means nothing. I know what I saw."
The matter of fact words left her cold.
"No," she whispered. "That can't be!" She kicked and thrashed at her prison. "You're lying! Twinkletoes would never be defeated by a second-rate coward like you! Twinkletoes wouldn't—"
"The Avatar fell." Shirong's voice was cold and merciless. "He did not move, did not breathe. What else would you describe that as except one who has died?"
"No." Tears wormed their way out of her eyes and leaked down her cheeks. "You're lying!"
"Little girl, why would I lie to you when the truth hurts so much more?"
Toph couldn't get any words out. She couldn't even swear at him for daring to call her a little girl. Her throat felt too choked.
"I didn't tell you earlier because I hoped you would have enough sense to cooperate," he said. "Now it seems pointless to hold back. You are a stubborn brat, but we will break you yet. It is the Dai Li's sacred charge to protect this city. You will tell us the secret to bending metal so we can become stronger."
Toph's throat and eyes burned as she fought to hold back tears. No sound was allowed to escape her lips. Not one. She refused to let him know he had made her cry.
"When?" she managed to grit out. Her voice sounded a bit hoarse, but at least it hadn't wobbled.
"Hrm?"
"You said my friends were scheduled to be executed," she reminded him. Damn, her voice did wobble that time. "When is that going to happen?"
"Four days from now. There are still a few loose ends to tie up."
Toph dug her fingernails into her palms, hard enough to hurt. Four days. That was four days to figure out how to escape from this box.
"Of course, you may not last till then," he observed. "I hear humans can only last three days without water. Think on that as you stew there in your own stubbornness and filth."
Toph couldn't help it: a scream broke free of her lips and she kicked at the lid, willing the wood to break apart. Shirong's retreating footsteps was all she got in return. She bit her lip to stop from crying, to stop the sobs that threatened to escape.
I'm not scared, she told herself.
She didn't need her bending to know she was lying.
oOo
Aang sprinted past memories and scenes of Zuko's life. He saw the boy, young and with his face barely healed, buying a blue mask. He saw a grim-faced prince who went from settlement to settlement, asking the same questions over and over.
"I'm looking for the Avatar. Do you know anything?"
"Where is the Avatar?"
"Tell me where he is!"
Flames licked at Aang's heels. Villages, homes, echoes of the places that had been burnt by Zuko's determination. It was hard to watch it again, to be reminded of how Zuko had hunted and chased him all over the world. Those had been difficult days. Still, what cut Aang deeper was the realisation that what had felt like a short time for him had been three unbearable years for his friend.
"I just want to go home."
Aang clutched at his chest. He could feel Zuko's regret for all the misdeeds he had committed, but also feel the longing for home that even now could not be denied. So much suffering. So many failures. The echo boy had not lied about that.
"Prince Zuko has finally given up."
Aang clenched his hands into fists and kept running. Leaves flickered into view to block his path, attaching to trees and morphing into a forest clearing. His heart lurched when he saw his own body bleeding out on the ground. He hadn't realised there had been so much blood. Zuko was kneeling beside him, dressed as the Blue Spirit, and trying to staunch the flow.
"You're the Avatar, aren't you? So fight! Use your damn powers and save yourself!"
Aang sucked in a breath. He shouldn't linger here. He knew how this memory would end.
"If we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends?"
Aang tore through memories, not daring to pause too long in case he was trapped. He was deep inside the maze now. He couldn't afford to lose his way. Still, it was hard not to be distracted. A fight at an abbey, bodies floating on the water while Zuko looked on in despair, Azula unleashing blue streaks of lightning that could not be dodged. The scenes rippled and blurred around him over and over again. There seemed to be no end.
"Zuko!" Aang yelled, dashing past a scene where a girl with a toothy grin was feeding Zuko soup. "Where are you? I can't find you if you don't give me more help!"
The memories were like leeches sapping his strength. They tugged him left and right, confusing his path and threatening to snatch his sense of reality. Not even the thread leading him on in an invisible compass could keep him on track. Everything felt so real, so personal. Sometimes, Aang forgot why he was even running. He'd taken to looking at his arrow tattoos to remind himself he was an Air Nomad and that he'd never had his face burnt by his father or been forced to travel for three years on a ship.
"My name is Aang. I'm the Avatar. I'm here to find my friend."
He chanted the words under his breath. Little reminders like this were necessary. He'd start to doubt himself again otherwise.
Aang tripped and collapsed to his knees. It was hard to force himself back to his feet. Memories and images crowded in on him, telling him to stop and remember moments that should not have felt familiar, to fill him with emotions that were beginning to feel less and less his own. He was being swallowed up inside the scattered pieces of Zuko's consciousness. It was a frightening realisation. Still, Aang got to his feet and kept running. He couldn't stop. Not until he had the prince at his side again.
"Zuko!" Aang shouted. "You've got to snap out of this! Please, just show me where you are! I know you don't really want to give up! This isn't like you at all!"
The thread encircling his heart tugged him east. He turned and saw a flicker of light.
"There!" Aang gasped.
He scrambled frantically after the light. It darted and glided through the air like a firefly, cutting a path through the haze of memories yet always staying out of reach. Aang felt like he was back in the swamp in the Spirit World. He'd chased that stupid orb everywhere until Roku had appeared.
"Wait up!" Aang cried, struggling to keep up with its rapid movement. He couldn't bend in the dream world and his legs felt like lead. "I can't—"
Suddenly, the scene changed. He was on top of the drill and cradling Changpu's lifeless body in his arms. Iroh was beside him and trying to get him to let go of the wounded soldier. Aang didn't listen. Despair and guilt clawed at his chest.
"It's my fault,"Aang found himself saying in a choked voice. He raised his head, trembling and gasping back sobs. "I should have left with him. I should have just listened to Sokka in the first place. I—"
Aang slapped his cheeks to snap himself back into focus. "No. This isn't my memory."
The dream world didn't care whether the memories were not his. The images kept coming for him in relentless waves. They let him experience what it was like to renew the spark of life in a dying person: to feel the fear, the draining link of energy, but also the overwhelming relief. They let him see a boy who had always failed—who had done terrible things and struggled so hard to earn his place in the world—but then that boy had discovered he could heal. He had saved those who were important to him, even the Avatar. He had made a real difference.
"I don't regret it."
"You don't?"
"You would have died if I hadn't healed you that night, and I definitely don't regret healing my uncle. We all have to make sacrifices sometimes."
It took Aang a moment to realise he was crying. "What are you trying to show me?" he demanded. "You want to justify what you did? Is that it?"
The world flickered and swirled. Aang found himself back in the rocky crevice near Half Moon Bay. He was sitting opposite Zuko and trying to understand why he did not shy from the things that could hurt or frighten him.
"Doesn't it scare you?" Aang asked.
"Yes. I don't know how to control my healing abilities. If it's triggered again, I don't know if I'll end up sacrificing my own life or if I'll just lose my bending entirely."
"And you're okay with that?"
"I don't know. I just know that this power is a part of me."
Aang made a frustrated sound and struggled to his feet. "That doesn't mean it's your destiny to give up your life for me!" He gripped the dream version Zuko's shoulders. "Do you hear me? This is not your destiny! I saw your memories. I saw how much you struggled and fought to find your way. Why can't you keep fighting now?" Tears choked his voice. "Why is it only now that you think it's okay to give up?"
Zuko slipped through his grip like smoke, dissipating into nothing. Aang collapsed to his knees.
"Why, Zuko?" he demanded, hanging his head. "I thought you wanted to find your mother. I thought you wanted to help Shizue and learn more about your healing abilities." He balled his hands into fists. "You knew the risk when you linked yourself to me. You knew you might not wake up, so why—"
"I have to take responsibility. The Avatar is supposed to bring hope to the world."
Aang shook his head. "I don't care about that!" He raised his face to the dream-like images that swirled all around him, searching for any scrap of the real prince. "You're the one who taught me not to run from difficult things! You're the reason I even managed to unlock the final chakra and master the Avatar State!" His chin wobbled. "You believed in me, you made me a better Avatar, and you know"—a shuddering breath—"you know, all this time I've been wondering: maybe if I hadn't hesitated so much when we'd run into that sea serpent, maybe if I'd just listened to you and trusted in my firebending, maybe then I wouldn't have stuffed up my control over the Avatar State. Maybe then I wouldn't have got hit by that rock. Maybe then we wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe—"
"I just don't want my friend to die. You're a good kid. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I let something happen to you."
Aang swallowed against the lump in his throat. "Are you trying to tell me it's okay because at least you know I'll be alive?" He screwed his face up in distress. "You big dummy, that goes both ways! How do you think I feel right now? You might never wake up again and it's all because I couldn't avoid a stupid rock!"
A breeze ruffled his clothes. It almost felt like Zuko had sighed in fond exasperation. Aang blinked and scrubbed away his tears. He must be closer to the core than he'd realised if he could sense this much. The connection felt so strong now. It was like he could reach out and touch him.
"I'm not going to let you go like this, Zuko," Aang said, scrambling to his feet. "I came this far because I want my friend at my side. I don't want him to fade away. I definitely don't want him to sacrifice himself for me because I'm the Avatar. So you have to wake up!" Aang squeezed his eyes shut and shouted the words with all he had. "Wake up so we can get out of this place and fulfil our real destinies!"
It was like a switch had been flicked. The world smashed around him like glass, shattering into tiny pieces that glinted and winked out of existence as if to mirror the falling stars. Aang stared in wonder. The light he had followed appeared in a rush of unfurling flames; it grew and grew, reshaping itself until Aang was staring at a sun-like sphere.
His brow furrowed and he took a step closer. "Zuko?"
The sphere hummed with warmth and light. Aang almost stumbled in relief. He had done it. He had found the core of Zuko's consciousness all wrapped up in this cocoon of fire.
He sat cross-legged in front of the sphere. "Hey, buddy," he greeted. "Guess you're still struggling a little, huh?"
Now that he was here at the centre, he could understand what had happened. Zuko had never truly wanted to give up; he had just been so scattered and lost that he had not known how to pick up the pieces. He had not known how to escape on his own. That was why Zuko had wondered if maybe it was just his destiny to save the Avatar through their bond. Maybe all of their time together had been building for that single moment: to grant Aang just enough time to be healed by Katara's Spirit Oasis water.
"I swear you never change. If you hadn't tried to drive me off so much to protect me, I would have got here sooner." Aang's expression softened. "Though you did reach out to me and guide me to you, so I guess I should thank you as well."
The sphere glowed a little brighter.
Aang smiled and brought his fists together in his standard meditation pose. "Yeah, I know. I'm going to send you back now." He lowered his gaze. "And, um, say hi to everyone for me, okay?"
The fire flickered as if to express confusion.
Aang gave a little laugh, though there was no humour in the sound. "Turns out I can't come back with you just yet. Sorry. My path is still blocked. I guess my body is too damaged right now to handle the real world. I'll have to follow you when I can."
"Aa—"
Aang released the spiritual energy within him, letting it surround the teenager who had just materialised from the flames. There was a moment where their eyes met, and then Zuko vanished along with the sphere. Aang exhaled and brought his knees up to his chest. Now he was alone again in the nothingness. That kind of sucked, especially since it was just a reminder he wasn't much of an Avatar anymore. Still, it was only a matter of time before he woke up. He hoped.
He pressed his hand to his chest. The thread that connected him to Zuko still hummed faintly with warmth. "Looks like it's all on you and the others now," he muttered.
It was a difficult truth to swallow. Aang had already failed the world once. He didn't want to see it happen again.