OK, so I lied, I thought this story could stand at least another chapter….
Mac turned his head towards the house, Jack was calling him inside for breakfast, Mac smiled and shook his head, Jack, the mighty Delta warrior, a man that most sane men wouldn't dare antagonize, was nothing but a Papa-Bear softy when it came to Mac.
"Coming!" He yelled and started toward the house.
"Hey kiddo, here eat things, you need some meat in those skinny ass bones of yours" Jack shoved a plate with eggs and bacon, sausage, bread, the kitchen sink…towards Mac; when did he have time to make all this food Mac wondered as he grabbed a fork and dove in, realizing that he was actually hungry.
"Hey, slow down Mac!" Jack warned, you've been nauseated for a few days now, let's not push our luck OK; Jack was smiling though, he was happy to see his kid eat and not look so worn out as he had been the last couple of days. He sat beside Mac at the kitchen's island, his own plate full with food, stabbing at it with hunger he too did not realize he had.
Mac started to feel a little queasy as he made his way through his breakfast, even though he was hungry, he pushed his plate back, away from him; Jack raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing as Mac stood up and after reaching out to briefly steady himself on the counter, started to walk back out towards the deck.
Jack sighed, shook his head but stayed in the kitchen; finishing his breakfast and letting the kid have some room. The therapist did tell him that Mac would have mood swings throughout this time as the PTSD reared its ugly head and the lines between reality and the past blurred for him.
Jack stood and took care of the dishes once he finished his own breakfast; he then went in search of his blond friend.
Mac was sitting in one of the chairs out in the deck, he looked out towards the beach, engrossed in the movement of the waves, thinking about the sheer power the Ocean harnessed and how Nature had such capacity for both beauty and destruction when suddenly his 'reality' shifted, instead of being on the deck looking at the water, he was back at the bank, just for a second, a flash, a loud noise, his name being called; he nearly fell off the chair when he felt Jack's hand on his shoulder, shaking him.
"M….c" Jack was speaking to him, but why is Jack here, he was not supposed to be at the bank, but wait…he wasn't at the bank either, he focused on the feeling of Jack's hand on his shoulder and blinked rapidly trying to focus on Jack's face.
"Mac, bud, you with me?" Jack's soft tone was comforting.
Mac nodded, then he swallowed down some bile as his breakfast tried its best to make a reappearance.
"Sorry…" Mac said softly.
Jack took a seat beside the boy, being careful to not spook him (therapist said to be careful with Mac's startle reflex during PTSD events), as he took the boy's hand in his.
"Where were you son?" Jack asked, rubbing a thumb against Mac's hand for both comfort and grounding.
Mac looked at Jack, he let the older man continue to hold his hand, as silly as it was, even though he is a grown man, it felt good to have that link, and he knew Jack would never hold it against him.
"I … I was back there for a second…" Mac replied honestly, looking back towards the water, his eyes brimming with tears. "How am I supposed to fix this Jack?" he surprised himself by asking out loud.
"You can't fix it Mac" Jack said slowly. Mac hunched his shoulders slightly but did not look at him, Jack continued; "This is not something to fix Mac, because you did not do anything wrong kid"
Jack squeezed the boy's hand and said, "Look at me Mac", when he got no response, he repeated in a more commanding voice, "LOOK AT ME"
The boy complied, blinking at him. Jack could see unshed tears in Mac's eyes that the boy was furiously trying to keep at bay.
"You Mac, are the kindest, most amazing young man I know, you have nothing to fix, nothing to apologize for, nothing to undo, because what you did Mac, was painful, it was traumatic, it was necessary; you did what you needed to do Mac, even as a boy, you did what you needed to do in order to keep others safe"
A lone tear escaped Mac's eyes and traveled down his cheek unencumbered, he turned his hand over so that now it was him that was squeezing Jack's hand but remained silent.
"Mac, son, this road we are on today is not going to be a smooth ride, but know this, you are not on it alone, I'm here, I'm always beside you, and I will help you navigate through the bumps, twists and turns it has in store for us, OK bud?
Mac nodded, still saying nothing. He sighed and stood up, placing a hand on the older man's shoulder as he turned to go back inside the house, and squeezed.
Mac did not deserve this man that sat beside him. This man that he knew would give his life a thousand times over if it kept Mac safe. This man who was for all intent and purposes, the only father Mac had ever known.
Mac went to his room, closed the door, sat on the bed and cried.
Jack sat, also looking at the water, thinking about his boy. Thinking how the Universe seemed to be intent on making Mac's life more difficult than it should be. His boy was a beautiful soul, he did not deserve all that kept happening to him; Jack wished he could take it all on for him, he would take every pain, every nightmare, every tear from Mac and feel them himself if it would allow Mac to be OK, to be at peace with his own existence. Jack was not surprised to find a tear rolling down his own cheek unencumbered too.