A/N: Hey all, hope you are enjoying our clandestine moment! Hope you are looking forward to more revelry. Enjoy -Cat!

Chapter Thirty

Steve

She was complicated. She was irritatingly stubborn, and arrogant and cavalier. She made jokes at inappropriate times. She flaunted authority. She was devastatingly deadly.

Yet she was also more than that as well. She was vulnerable, and scared, and funny. And breathtakingly beautiful, but in her very own way, not a general kind of pretty. She was a complete individual. When I saw her walk out the door, even with her new blonde hair, I barely needed to glance at her to know it was her. Like I just knew she was going to step through the doors of the building. A somewhat shabby looking building, two blocks off of Times Square. The dance floor was evidently on the third floor up.

It had taken more time than I thought to find her. Clint hadn't been lying when he said she knew how to disappear. But I couldn't seem to stop looking. No matter how often I thought, maybe she doesn't want to be found?

Don't get me wrong, the thought crossed my mind more than a few times. Each time varying in intensity and desperation, but always there. But for some reason I always came to the conclusion that if she wanted me to leave her alone, than she could tell me to my face.

Also, I just needed to know she was okay. More than anything else. I needed to know she was safe. And there she was, positively glowing after the dance class. I can practically hear her in my head, 'I'm sweating Steve, calm down. Not everything is a Botticelli painting' or something equally brutal. But she steps out into the early evening washed out light, the grey light from the heavy overcast clouds that had allowed us for an easy, low profile landing that very morning. I notice her hair right away, and I find my self missing the signature red but at the same time appreciating the new blonde that swayed in her hurried ponytail. Her ballet slippers hung around her neck, the laces tied around her neck. Her back pack was casually slung over one shoulder and she looked up at the sky before she noticed me.

She looked tired. Not unsettlingly so, but just... like she hadn't had a really good nights sleep in a while. And I don't think it was until that point in time that I realized why I was really here. Sure, I wanted her back at my side, my partner in arms, my right hand. She balance my thoughts, gave me a clarity when it came to the world as it was now, not as how I remember it to be. I needed her, I need her to be able to make the difference I should in the world.

Now that Bucky has decided to go back under... into the ice as it were, I realized that is what I needed to do. Wanted to do, help where I still can. And Sam had decided he wanted to join me.

'Not like I am fighting off the job offers right now,' He had said jokingly to me. And as much as I appreciated his help, I also knew I needed her. Natasha. More than anyone else. But then, seeing her this afternoon, it was just clear. No doubt, no indecision. I was there for more than that. More than just the professional.

I couldn't fight it any more, I didn't want to deny it, or overcomplicate it. I didn't want to see her with Bruce, I didn't want to hurt Sharon. Because all I really wanted was her. Because she was who I needed. Who made everything else make sense. Who helped guide me, she was the one I could actually see a future with. I couldn't seem to frame it with anyone else. Not that I let myself fantasize about it...her... our 'future', but for some reason it always was there, lingering no matter how hard I denied it. Her.

"I need you with me Nat, when you aren't by my side, nothing goes right. I need you. I needed you then and you still had my back. I need you on my side, by my side."

I meant it, and still mean it. I remember how shockingly easy it was to say the words to her. Funny, I had been struggling all these years with what I felt for her, and how to bring it up, if at all even. But now, I was done wasting time. I almost lost her, on so many levels and I didn't want to take that risk again, not without knowing I had laid all my cards on the table, first.

She had looked so surprised, confused by what I was saying. Like I was speaking a different language or something. It had caught me off guard, hadn't she been the one to ask me to dinner? But then, in that moment, I realize how much of a toll all this has taken on her, the Accords, being caught in the middle. And my heart thudded in my chest.

And for a moment, I was concerned. That she didn't understand what I was saying to her, not really. But that was until of course, she kissed me.

It had been earth shaking. Her kiss shook my whole body, my whole being. I had felt her to my very core and I let myself get lost in her.

Now I lay here, in her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, illuminated by the bright neon lights from the street below us. Her bed backs on to the enormous widow overlooking the bright New York Street. She lays beside me, her back pressed against my side, her head resting in the crook of my shoulder. Fitting perfectly beside me, like she was always meant to be there, her body intertwined with mine.

She was staring down my arm, her finger tracing a pattern on my forearm that lay stretched out on the bed beside her. I find it hard to fathom the perfection of this moment. I don't want anything to ruin it. I turn to look down at her, and I feel her shift into me more. I can practically see her expression without having to see her, glancing over her shoulder, the corner of her mouth catching only slightly. I lean forward and kiss the top of her head, my nostrils filling with the sweet scent of her vanilla shampoo, and I can't help but smile into her hair.

"I like the new hair," I say in a stern voice.

"Oh yeah?" She says and her voice sounds like she is smiling.

"Yeah," I say finally, "I wasn't sure at first, but now," She rolls onto her other side so she is facing me and I look into her amazingly bright green eyes, "I kinda like it."

Her right eyebrow hitches and the smile cracks on the left side of her face, "Glad to know it meets your standards."

I roll my eyes, "You know what I mean," I lean forward and kiss her this time on the forehead, and she nestles into me. And I can't help but wrap my arm around her, holding her tight, never wanting to let her go. I feel the even rhythm of her breathing and I am lost in her presence. "Nat?"

"Mmmm?" I think her eyes are closed, I can feel her eyelashes tickling my chest.

"Why Brooklyn?" I ask. I have been wondering since she so casually dropped my old neighbourhood on the back of the bike earlier.

I feel her breathing hitch, only slightly, and if I hadn't been holding her so tight I wouldn't have noticed it at all. She pulls back and looks up into my eyes, biting her lower lip in a tantalizing way. Her brow tightens over her eyes and I look down into them feeling my brow pulling together slightly as I waited for her answer, "I wanted..." She took a breath like she was trying to think of a way to phrase what she was trying to say, I raised an eyebrow at her and her smile got bigger, brighter, more beautiful. She rolled her eyes and than took another deep breath like she was bracing herself to say something, "I wanted to be somewhere safe, and Brooklyn made me think of you." Her eyes were huge, vulnerable, and looked like they were looking right into my soul. "And you make me feel safe." She said simply on an exhale.

I feel my heart swell at her words, I pull her up to me and kiss her lips, so soft and so sweet that I can't help but melt into them, like she is pulling in my very soul. I feel her hand come up and lightly trace over my bone structure. I promised myself I would spend the rest of time if I had to, making sure she never lost that feeling.

She pulls back and nestles into my chest, wrapping her arms gently around my body, and rests her head on my chest and I lay back onto the pillows again. "Stupid, huh?" She mumbled into my chest.

I glanced down at her there in my arms, still having a slightly hard time believing we are here. That she was in my arms, in bed. It was intoxicating. "No, not stupid." She chuckles like she doesn't believe me, "I came to find my home."

She struggles out of my arm and against the intertwined sheets to lean up on her arm and look down at me, her brow furrowed, she raised an eyebrow, "And you found me?" She asks as if to clarify.

"Well, I wasn't looking for a good dance studio." It's like I can't help myself, I lean up, and reach and take her face in one hand, my thumb brushes over her perfect cheek just before I find myself kissing her again. And once again we are pulled into each other, as if we are starving souls falling on an enormous feast. I remember once Bucky said that kissing Madeline had been like breathing. I knew what he was talking about. Like life before her was the before, this was the present. And I felt like I was existing on a higher plane.

About an hour later we lay again, my head has somehow managed to end up at the end of the bed, my feet on my pillow, and I look out the enormous window at the old brick building across the street from Nat's apartment. Her head lay on my stomach and she watched the lights on the ceiling now.

"So, what's the play here, Steve?" She asks her voice drawling. She blinks slowly before turning her head to look up at me, over my chest and into my eyes. She looks hesitant as if she is afraid she is gonna wake up from a dream.

"We are set to fly out tomorrow," I can't help but reach out and tuck a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

She raised an eyebrow, "We just gonna walk into JFK? International departures?" Her lips pull at the corners of her mouth.

"Uh no," I roll my eyes and look out the window stretching my arms above my head, "I've got a ride waiting." Gently, so as not to upset her too much I sit up, "I need water. You are killing me woman,"

She giggles rolling over, seamlessly wrapping herself up in the sheet. I get up off the bed and grab my boxer briefs off the floor and bashfully step into them. Somehow up and off the bed I realize what actually just happened and even as I smile to myself, I can't help the blush that I felt creepy up my shoulders.

I walk into the kitchen and before I have to ask, I hear over my shoulder, "Cupboard to left of the sink." I open it to find glasses, pull out a big one and head to the sink. "Oh, no. There is a jug in the fridge." She says again. I glance over my shoulder at her, she shrugs in bed not looking at me or sitting up, just like she knows I am looking at her, "Old pipes," She says as way of explanation.

I chuckle to myself but oblige her and get water out of the fridge. I look around the small one room apartment and wonder what her days have consisted of. How she has pasted her time. I drink back the cold water and walk back over the bed and I sit on the end of the bed, pulling my leg up and under me. She sat up and faced me, and reached for the glass, I hand it to her. She smiles as I watch her gently sip the water. She puts the glass down. I look at the glass, furrow my brow, raising an eyebrow, looking back up at her I cock my head to the side, "Really?" She rolls her eyes, scoffing, letting out a big breath. "It's me, Nat,"

She stares at me like she is confused, "That's what I keep trying to tell myself," with that she gulps down the rest of the glass at a ridiculous speed. She swallows in a big obnoxious gulp, and then looks at me, raising her eyebrows briefly, "Happy?"

I look in her eyes, and hold her gaze. I take a breath leaning back on the bed, "Yes, yes I am." She just stares back at me, and what I wouldn't give to know what is going through her brain, but instead I take a breath. I look at the clock on the wall in the kitchen before looking back at Natasha. "We should go in an hour or so." I glance around the apartment, "Do you need to get anything before we leave?"

"Yes, there is something I need before we go." I look back at her to see her crawling on the bed towards me and soon she is in front of me, and I reach for her as she leans down letting her lips brush over mine. All I can do is think, 'Yeah, we've got time,' as Nat pushed me back down onto the bed and straddled over my body and I let myself be swept away in the unadulterated euphoria of this moment, trying to commit this perfect night to memory forever.

A/N: More is coming soon! Thanks for reading -Cat