Chapter Thirty-Six

Steve

She is back in my arms, this time laying sprawled out over my chest. And I hold her tightly, my arms wrapped around her. This time we are on the sectional, a big soft blanket over us both. I find myself unwilling to go to sleep. I don't want her to worry any more. Even though I don't really know what caused her break down in the first place.

Suddenly Nat is moving, I look down at her, to see her push herself up, her arms on either side of my body, pushing up off the sectional. She meets my eye with a small smile. "Hi," She says quietly, settling her hands over each other, and resting her chin on the top one.

I smile back at her. "Hi," I say, my mouth pulling into a small half smile. I reach up and push her hair behind her left ear, as it was falling in her eyes.

She pursed her lips, looking down at my chest, "What the plan tomorrow Steve?"

I shrug slightly, not wanting to disturb her too much, "Go, try, help." I look at her. "See where we end up." She met my eyes, "Stay together," I say raising my eyebrows at her.

She smiled, "Sounds good to me, Cap."

I shake my head, "I dunno if that's me any more,"

She reaches up to put her hands on either side of my face, shimmying up my body to get closer. "You are," Her eyes searched mine, "You are as much as the world allows you to be. Just because," She shakes her head, "Things are different and the world is changing doesn't mean you aren't still you." I meet her eyes, "We just have to evolve to fit."

"We," I say raising an eyebrow, liking the way it sounds.

She rolled her eyes at me, "Oh, you know you need me in this new world, 'specially you and Sam. Can't understand how you guys made it this far."

I chuckled and she smiled, she leaned forward and kissed me, before pulling back and meeting my eyes, "I'm sorry," She said.

My brow furrows, "For what?"

She swallowed, "For not having you back. About the Accords,"

"Nat," I say shaking my head, "I told you-"

"I know," She interrupted me but held my eyes, "I know what you said in New York. But I still need to say it, Steve." She looked at me with a serious look. "I want us to be honest with each other. Always, even the horrible truths." Her eyes dane between mine and I see how serious she is. "I've been in the grey for so much of my life. Not sure where I stand. And I felt that way about you for a long time," I open my mouth to argue that point but she smiles and cuts me off before I get the chance. "I don't want to feel like that any more. Not with you."

My fingertips brush up and down her arm, "Total honesty, huh?" I say meeting her eyes.

She smiles into my eyes, "I've heard it's a good policy." I smile and pull her to me and kiss her, just quickly, briefly. Like something we are planning on doing for the rest of out lives. She smiles up at me as I pull back to layback down on the pillows behind me. She took a deep breath and sat up, sitting in my lap, wrapping the blanket around herself, she clears her throat before she begins but still hesitates. She looks down at my chest before her eyes dart back up to mine, and I see just how vulnerable she is. "I- I was scared." I sit up, so I am closer to her, rubbing a hand over her shoulder. "Which isn't usually how I do business, ya think that is where I went wrong?" I smile at her joke as the corner of her mouth hitched up in a small smile.

"What had you scared?" I ask trying to sound like I was joking.

But she met my eyes with a serious look, "You." She said simply. I stared back at her, blinking. She shrugged and ... blushed? "I was worried about you." She smiled looking down at somewhere around my collar bone, "I wanted so bad for us to do what was right... Or I guess, what was lawful." She looked back at me, her eyebrow cocking again, "I know what it is to be used as a weapon, and I was afraid that is we didn't go along with the Accords that is what they would want to turn you into." Her brow furrowed, "I'm sorry that led me away from you right when you needed me most."

I run a hand up and down her back as I look back at her, "You're here now." I smile at her, "And I have no intention of letting you go now."

I lay back down on the sofa and look up at her, in the moon light. She is looking at my stomach before looking back up at my eyes "Steve?" She asks.

"Yeah?" I raise my eyebrows, waiting expectantly for what she has to say.

She meets my eyes and her face is wiped clean of expression, except, honesty. "I love you." She says the words as if it is basic statement of fact. She watches my reaction closely.

I sit back up and pull her closer to me. Her eyes stayed latched on mine, and I can't help but smile, "You do realize I am never letting you go now?" She smiles back at me, and I lean forward kissing her gently.

She manages to whisper before my lips hit hers, "You better not, Rogers,"