Chapter Thirty-Seven

Natasha

And the next day the world keeps spinning. Like the earth hasn't shifted on it's access. It's funny, I never gave much thought to happiness. I mean, I already had more than I deserved in life, to begin with. But now... With Steve... It was just a different level. Like a new way of living or something. I don't know. I just knew right away things would never be the same. And I don't want them to be.

The dream rattled me, and it lingers in my mind. Flashes will come through all of a sudden; Sam crying or Bucky's screams. But I shake my head, and take a deep breath. Reminding myself that it was only a dream. A dream I woke from. A dream that doesn't need to have any power over me. Why waste any energy on a dream when my reality was actually what I always wanted...

He loved me.

Him. Steve Rogers. Captain America. Loves Me... Natasha. Black Widow.

It was too unreal.

Sam is all giddy, and ridiculous. He keeps saying he is just happy it is just the three of us again. But he also keep sharing smiles with Steve, that irritate me to no end. I make sure to make a mental note to talk to one of them about it. I don't care which. I haven't forgotten Sam saw me when I was weak, when Steve was in the hospital, after Washington. And for some reason I don't think he has forgotten that moment.

I stand beside Steve, on the left hand side of the jet, Sam on my other side. We watch the Wakandan capital city drop beneath us. I look at Steve and his eyes focus on the city.

I think of last night. It was just before dawn and we were still on the couch.

Steve's head rests on my chest. I feel his beard tickling my skin. My fingers play in his hair, it's so silky and soft and golden. It's funny, something so ... simply makes me happy. Just looking at his hair makes me feel ... home.

I let out a chuckle and Steve moves. He lifts his head and looks at me, his chin resting on my chest, eyebrow raised. "What's so funny?" He asked meeting my eye.

I can't help but smile back at him, my head resting back on the pillow. "I love your... hair," I say.

His brow furrows and he looks at me like I am crazy. "My... hair?"

I actually let out a giggle, "Yeah," I shrug.

He keeps looking at me, "Uh, should I say thank you?"

"No!" I say, "Forget I said anything." I roll my eyes, feeling the blush come up in my cheeks under his scrutiny.

"Hey, now!" Steve pulls himself up the couch so he is looking over me, rather than up at me, "If you like it, I'll just have to keep on growing it then, won't I?"

I can't help but laugh at his words, "It would be appreciated." I say leaning up to kiss him.

I can feel the kiss through my entire body. It washes over me like hot water. Sending tingles and shocks through my body, like a riot. My hands reach up to his neck as if to anchor him to me. Slowly he pulled back and laid down beside me. I nestled myself into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me holding me tight.

I know tomorrow we are leaving this safe haven, and my mind wanders, "Steve?"

"Yeah,"

"Is Bucky here?"

Steve instantly stiffens at the question. I look up at him and he is looking out the window across from us. And for a moment I feel fear. That maybe I shouldn't have asked. That maybe he didn't trust me enough to tell me. But then in a moment, Steve exhales. "Yeah," He looks down at me, his eyes open and honest, "He is." I just watch him, he looks down, whether he actually sees our bodies, entangled under the blanket or not I don't know, "He went back under. Said it was for the best."

I know he means cryofreeze. I think of everything that has happened, and all that we have been through together. I think of Madeline Stark. So in love with Bucky, now he is frozen like a Winter Soldier popsicle. I think back to New York, and seeing her spattered all over all the headlines. It all seems to come into a new sharp focus, and I find myself feeling sorry for her. The girl who stood off against me in the airport hanger. How did we all end up here?

I look up at Steve and put my hand over his chest, I feel his strong and steady heartbeat under my palm. And I feel something that doesn't come often, real gratitude. Gratitude that somehow life has brought him here to be laying with me, not frozen and out of reach. He looks up at me, at my touch, "You're not alone anymore, Steve." His eyes look sad as he listens to my words. "And he will be safe here." His hand comes up and strokes my hair. "I'm glad you found me." I say.

He looks into my eyes, "I don't think I could have stopped looking."

"You won't have to again."

And now. Now, I know it comes down to it. Leaving Bucky here. Frozen. It is hard for him, I know he feels like he is leaving behind his friend, even though he never did that in the first place.

I put my hand on his shoulder and Steve glances at my hand and then up at me. I smile down at him, "Where to?" I ask him quietly and Sam looks over at the two of us.

Steve looks from my eyes to Sam's. "Let's go do some good."

Sounds like a plan.