Miss Potts, within minutes of our meeting, made very clear her opinion of surprises.
"I'm going to kill Tony," she declared in a saccharine tone as she picked up her scattered papers. "Slowly and painfully." If I had a body, I would've gulped at the serene smile on her face – it promised very dark things.
"Am I correct in my assumption that you're speaking in hyperbole?" I asked, just to be sure. "I'm afraid I'd have to lock the building down and notify the authorities if you were literal."
Miss Potts blinked in surprised, as though she'd already forgotten my presence. "What?" Realization hit. "Oh! Don't worry, that was an exaggeration." She picked up her last sheet of paper and stood up. "I'm not going to kill Tony…" 'Much,' her expression said quite clearly. "I'm simply going to talk to him about what is and isn't appropriate at his age."
Somehow, that sounded more ominous than the initial death threat. "Of course, Miss Potts. Thank you for the clarification."
"You're welcome…" The strawberry-blonde seemed a little self-conscious, perhaps because I was, to her knowledge, only an intelligent computer program.
Incoming. My sensors announced.
"Pepper!" Tony called excitedly from the top of the stairs. "Have you met Avis yet?"
"Yes Tony," Miss Potts' tone was perfectly even.
"Well?" Tony all but ran down the stairs to meet her. "What do you think?"
"It seems like a neat little program." Miss Potts took a step closer to her employer. "You however," she said, finally revealing her anger, "Are an incorrigible man-child." She jabbed a finger into his chest. "Were you trying to give me a heart-attack?"
"Of course not! You're too young and healthy for that."
She huffed. "And what exactly, prompted you to create a talking security system?"
"She's not a security system," Tony said, eyes bright. "She's my first ever artificial intelligence."
"An artificial…" She paused, took a breath, and started again. "Tony – you can't be serious." Tony shrugged unapologetically and Miss Potts pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you are."
That said, she stalked off in the direction of the bar. "Pepper?" She ignored Tony, going straight for the cabinet on the far right. "Pepper!" Much to my delight and Tony's horror, Miss Potts threw her papers down on the granite countertop and pulled a bottle of Jack Daniels from the back of the cupboard.
Then, she whipped her cell phone out and dialed without looking, holding the phone to her left ear. Tony and I were left, dumbfounded and amused, respectively, as she called in sick to work. "…Yes, the migraine hit quite suddenly. You'll have to reschedule the phone conference for another time." She waited a moment. "Wonderful! Thanks, Carol. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
She hung up, slammed her phone down next to her files, and took a long swig from the bottle.
Tony spluttered.
Damn. I'm really starting to like this lady.