A/N: So, Endgame. To be honest, I am still reeling. I know we haven't even begin to cover the events of Infinity War yet, they are coming up in the next chapter or two, but I just wanted to assure everyone that there will be no spoilers for Endgame for quite a while. So anyway, take a breath, relax and I hope you enjoy this next chapter. -Cat

Chapter Forty-Three

Natasha

I remember pain. A lot of pain.

I remember Steve... His arms holding me.

I remember feeling cold and hot all at the same time.

Waking up is something I have always been happy to do. Usually it meant leaving the nightmares behind. More recently it meant getting to see Steve, which in its self was like a dream.

But this... this was an altogether different sort of waking up, like I was coming up from deep, deep under. Before I open my eyes I know certain things. I am on a very comfy bed, very soft. Comfier than we've had in a long time. The room is bright, like sunlight is flooding in. I can smell fresh air, like real fresh air, not city air, and the fabric softener on the flannel sheets beneath me.

Slowly I blink, and even though I am just waking up, I realise just how exhausted I feel. I blink and open them and let the room fall into focus. I am in a bed and there is a little night stand beside it, with a cute old lamp sitting on it. There is an old window across from me, looking out into... a forest? Beside the window is big wing-backed arm chair with god awful gold upholstery on it, and sitting in it, with his head resting on his hand, while his elbow rested on the arm was Steve.

He was asleep, with a tight line between his brows, like he was worried, even in his dreams. He had on some light tan dockers and a plaid shirt. It reminds me of when we first met, all those years ago on the helicarrier... but now he had a beard and his hair was still getting longer. I sigh as I think back on all that time ago... so much time... so much of it wasted.

I am not sure if he feels my eyes on him, hears my sigh or if he just woke up but suddenly his eyes open and he sits up straight in the chair, rubbing a hand over his face. He blinks and glances over at the bed, presumably to check on me and does a double take when he sees my eyes looking back at him, "Nat?" In an instant he is out of the chair and kneeling on the ground beside the bed.

I smile as he reaches up and strokes a loose strand of hair out of my face and behind my ear, "Hey there," I say quietly to him, my voice sounding gravelly.

"How are you feeling?" He asked smiling at me. I blink a start to sit up, "Easy," He says hands hovering around me.

I smirk at him, "Uh, a little worse for wear but..." I try and take stock of myself, "Okay, I think."

I shift my legs to cross them underneath myself, moving slowly... feeling stiff, and Steve sits on the bed in front of me. I feel his eyes on my as if afraid to look away.

"You sure?" He asked looking at me from under his brow.

I look at him with a small smile, "Pretty sure." I nod before sitting up straight, stretching my back and feeling my torso pull in a slightly odd feeling way. I blink, trying to ignore the feeling, trying not to show any discomfort on my face. I know it will just send Steve over the edge. "What happened?" I ask.

"Ya got shot." He says bluntly, looking at me with stormy eyes.

I roll my own, "Yes, I remember that part." I shake my head, "Vividly. No after that part," I, of course have realised I seem to be without bullet holes, or any meatball surgery to fix them. I was aware of that almost as soon as I woke up. I am just wondering what magic Steve and Sam seemed to have pulled out of thin air.

Steve looked at me long and hard as if judging what to tell me, "Helen Cho helped us out."

I blink, shaking my head, "Wait... Helen Cho?" I lean forward onto my knees, tucking my feet underneath me as I move closer to Steve, he makes a move like he wants me to lie back down but I ignore him, "That was an enormous risk!" I snap.

He sighed, looking tired, he looked down at my hand in my lap and reached out taking my wrist. With the other hand he gently traced a line in my palm before simply taking my hand, "It was one I had to take." Slowly he looked up at me and I feel at home in his eyes, completely loved.

I can't seem to find any words, I just lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck. And he didn't hesitate wrapping his arms around me.

Steve pulled me to him, on to his lap, his arms wrapped around me tightly. He buried his face in my hair, a hand going to the back of my head.

"It's okay Steve," I whisper turning into him as well, "I'm fine,"

"Yeah but you almost weren't,"

I pull back and look at him, his eyes looking down. I reached out and put a hand on either side of his face, my fingers felt the soft but strong hair of his beard. I pull him so he is looking at me, "Steve," His eyes meet mine and he pulls me to him again and this time I let myself fall forward to him, my lips descending on his. But eventually my curiosity gets the better of me and I pull back.

"Mmm," He moans as I pull back and he rests his head at the base of my neck.

"Where exactly are we?" I ask as I look over my shoulder out the window again as if it is going to offer answers to me.

"Clint and Laura's." My head snaps back around to look at Steve. Okay, he clearly has lost his mind, "Don't worry," He says slowly looking up at me, "We are in the old cabin on the far side of the property. No FBI eye's on us."

My brow furrows shaking my head, this was a bad idea. I would prefer to be in the jet than here. "This is too dangerous. Clint just-"

Steve shakes his head, his hands coming up to hold my face this time, "It was the only place safe enough for us to be. You had to rest. And there was no guarantee elsewhere. Almost all of the safe houses have been compromised. Besides once they heard why we needed-"

"Yeah well, of course they said it was fine, they are as stupid as you are evidently!" I snap.

"Thanks for that!" I hear Laura's voice down below us and realise we must be in a loft. I look to my right as see Laura's dark haired head bobbing up the stairs with a big tray on her hip. "Next time a friend is going to die for lack of a bed to lie down in I will be sure to close the curtains." She said shaking her head.

I tilt my head to the side as I see her and can't help but smile, no matter how mad I am at her for allowing this. "Laura," I say furrowing my brow.

She rolls her eyes, "It's as if I haven't taught you anything at all." Laura puts the tray down on the bed and stands up straight looking at us with an amused look on her face.

It is at that point in time I realise I am still straddling Steve's lap and instantly move off of him and back to bed, feeling a blush on my cheeks. I must still be groggy from whatever meds I have been on... Steve chuckles and slowly stands up from the end of the bed and takes the tray from the bed and puts it on a small table beside the arm chair.

Laura smiles as she watches him, "Thought I would bring you something to eat." Her shrewd eyes travel from Steve to me and I feel slightly like I am under a microscope. "This guy hasn't left your bedside, quite the guardian angel."

I look at Steve and he blushes, crossing his arms over his chest and avidly watching the floor. "I'm lucky I guess," I say glancing at her from under my lashes and really wishing she and I could talk alone for even a minute. Laura being the closest thing I have ever had to a real girlfriend, I missed not getting to talk to her through all of the recent Steve related revelations in my life. But I didn't need to drag her into our chaos after the Accords just to hear her opinion on things.

Laura shrugged, "Yeah well, lucky for you, unlucky for me. I owe Clint twenty bucks."

I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head to the side looking at her, "What's that now?"

Laura simply shakes her head and waves her hand, "Nothing, married people stuff," She said casually before coming to sit beside me on the bed, "It's good to see you, even under the circumstances." I lean forward and take the hug I know she was dying to offer me and she pulls me tight. "Can't scare us like that Nat."

She lets go and holds me at arms length, "Someone has got to keep you on your toes," I say jokingly, rolling my eyes.

"Mmmhmm, well you are the ballerina so I will leave the point work to you." Laura looked up at Steve who I notice his eyes are just sort of resting on my head, "Hey Steve, can you give us a minute? Maybe go out an chop some fire wood?"

He smirked, "Yeah sure." Before he leaves, to my slight surprise, what with Laura sitting so close to me, he steps to the bed rubs a hand over the top of my head before leaning down and following it with a kiss. "I'll be back." He says. And I glance up at him. The 'be right back' was unnecessary, of course he would be but it was still nice to hear and suddenly I feel once again, that thing creeping up on me. Joy.

I watch as he descends the stairs before Laura has me pinned beneath her gaze again. I take a deep breath hoping to cut her off at the pass, "You guys really shouldn't have let us come here. It is to big a risk since Clint got his deal ironed out-"

Laura shook her head, "It isn't worth anything if we have to turn his best friend away at her time of need." She shook her head, "It is killing Clint not to be able to come out here though. We just had to be sure you guys were tucked away somewhere outside the range of his ankle monitor. Just in case."

I nod understanding, "Well, make sure you tell him, thank you." Laura smiled, "And I will kick his ass later."

She rolled her eyes, "Okay, okay, enough of that. So what's the deal with you and Steve!? When did that start?" She looked like a kid in a candy store, her eyes got so big and bright as she spoke.

I laugh looking away rolling my eyes, "Oh god-"

"No." She said briskly.

I look back at Laura caught off guard by the cut and dry tone she just put on, "Wh-what?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No. Just no, none of this taciturn spy, he's shy, nothing to tell bull shit."

"Laura!?" I am actually shocked at hearing her use that language and suddenly feel like Steve.

"No Nat, I am not putting up with it. I am a wife and a mother. Have been for a while now. Don't have a lot of girlfriends because hard to do that when your husband is in the line of work mine is. Haven't left the house much cause then Clint feels left behind. And honestly I don't mind because it is so nice to have him home and safe and my house has never looked better. But I am bored damn it." I laugh and so does she, "I am booooored. So I need to live vicariously through my friend who is a super spy vigilante on the run having what I can only assume, and hope for that matter, is a hot and steamy torrid affair with the one and only Captain America. So I want details. All the details. Every single tiny detail you can muster." I laugh again shaking my head, feeling like my cheeks might actually melt off. "So I will ask you one more time, Natasha, when did this start?"

I cover my face with my hands and hear her sigh heavily and then just peak out from behind my fingers at her smiling. Laura raises an eyebrow at me, and I take a deep breath. I can do this. I can do this for her. "Okay, so it started after Berlin."

Her eyes get big, "So not after Sokovia?" She catches me off guard by the question but I shake my head.

"Uh no, definitely not."

She nods solemnly, "Alright, go on. How did it start?"

I shrug, "I don't... I, well..." I find myself getting flustered trying to make sense of everything in my mind. "Well," I take a deep breath, "He just came and found me."