SUMMARY: iPhones are funny business.

Disclaimer: Don't own, Dick Wolf does. Again, shameless plug due to location.

Eoeoeoeoeoeo

It's been a month now, to the day and he wonders if she knows this too. After the coffee shop he tried to text her, at first, he played it casual a quick Hey the next day. No reply, cool okay, change approach. Elliot waited three days before the next message, and then it spiraled out of control.

Text: Hey
Text: Hey
Text: Olivia? Liv?
Text: I get it, I fucked up. I'm sorry.
[Call]
Text: Is this payback of some sort? For the way I never responded?
[Call]
[Call]
Text: Lesson learned Liv, just please reply.
[Call]
[Call]
[Voicemail]Liv, we can't keep hurting each other this way. If you just let me talk to you again, I can explain so much. I wasn't ready before and it would only hurt us. I would hurt us, and maybe I'm not really ready yet, but I just want to talk.
[Call]
[Call]
[Call]
[Call]
[Voicemail] /Heavy breathing/ Please answer me Liv.
Text: Olivia what the fuck please answer.
Text: Please.

And then he just waited, waited and kept moving forward with life. He'd spent so much time wrapped up in both his work and Olivia and making her wait. He hadn't known it then, and it took him over 13 years to realize it, in fact he hadn't realized it at all. Looking back now he sees it and wonders if he could apply for Kathy to receive Sainthood. She'd realized it before he had, and yet she let him play pretend. She'd let him live this lie until she couldn't bare it and when she finally broke, he hadn't understood it. They fought, they fought until they had fought about fighting and Elliot just stood in his living room dumbfounded.

He remembers that night clearly, the night Kathy asked for the divorce. All of his kids were out living their lives in the city, and Eli had gone over to his friends for the weekend. He was nervous about it, but Kathy reassured him that all of his kids had had sleepovers that young and he couldn't remember enough of their childhoods to dispute it. He wasn't sure why they were even fighting by the time they both stood, heavy breathing and angry whispers. They'd mastered fighting in hushed tones and Elliot can't explain or wrap his head around how it came to be this way. Instead they both stand at opposite ends of the couch, his breathing heavy and angry, hers now calm and steady. Through narrow eyes she finally whispers, I want a divorce. I'm tired of living in misery because you want to be the good guy. I deserve better.

Elliot can't argue, can't fight it. He wants to, and everything in him tells him to do so. He goes to open his mouth but can't come up with a valid argument. He loves Kathy, she's the mother of his children and he loves her for so many reasons. He loves her for raising their children, for putting up with him. He loves her for balancing their checkbook, for buying their groceries. He loves her for being this strong independent woman, for being this amazing mother. He loves her, but as he looks into her eyes and sees her sadness, he understands that it's not fair to either of them. He loves her, but she wants someone to be in love with her. He sees her standing there, calm and steady and realizes that she deserves someone to worship her in a way he can't. He goes to sit on the couch and she follows. After a while, he gets up and grabs two beers from the fridge, opening both and handing her one. She grabs the bottle from him and takes a slow sip, closing her eyes. He sits next to her again, and as he goes to take a sip he says, almost more to himself than to her, I fucked up. He hears her laugh, light and sure, Yeah, well we both let it get here. It's not just you Elliot, we're both at fault and we're both full of Catholic guilt.

When they worked out everything and sat their kids down to explain the divorce, their second attempt at this, the kids took the news better. He was worried about the kids choosing sides, because it was a battle he would obviously lose, but sitting in his kitchen table surrounded by his family, he realized the strength and sense of balance that Kathy had instilled in their children. They each took turns explaining their feelings, and every single one ended up in the same conclusion, worded differently. They wanted their parents to be happy, and they wanted to keep being a family, it didn't matter if it meant their parents moving on. They were adults, they had the right to pick what made them happy, even if it wasn't each other. He truly owed everything to Kathy and understood why this divorce had to happen.

Now, he sat in his apartment and locked and unlocked his phone for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

Coffee tomorrow? Same place, same time.

He wanted to say yes, he wanted to tell her he'd be there ready and willing, but somehow this felt off. This message gave him this sinking feeling in the pit of this stomach and he couldn't explain why.

He'd gotten there earlier than she had this time, so he ordered the coffees and sat down at the same table with them. And then he waited, stomach in knots.

She came in, and he took in the sight of her. She smiled and sat down, taking her coffee between both hands.

It's freezing out there.

His cell phone rang, and he cursed it internally, pulling it from his pocket. It's an unknown number, so he hits the side button on his phone and lets it go to voicemail.

Not going to answer it?

He shakes his head and smiles again, he wasn't going to let her walk away so easily this time.

I want to be here Liv, nothing is more important.

He sees her smile fade a little, and shift in her seat. Too much too fast Stabler, real smooth.

Look, Elliot… Full name, okay he thinks, that can mean anything, I just want to catch up. No hard feelings about the way we left things, it took me a long time to get it. Trust me, I'm not even sure I'm really ready for this. I have to try though, I've been seeing a therapist since…since…Her eyes begin to pool with tears and his hands instinctively reach out to close around hers, and her coffee cup. She pulls away from him and brings the cup to her mouth before she whispers the kidnapping and she takes a sip of her coffee.

He watches her, but let's her go at her own pace. Patience, it's a virtue he's learning and getting better at.

It's uh, the point of this is…I just want to talk. I want us to be okay again.

He nods slowly and gives her space to talk. When he realizes that she's said her part, he brings the coffee to his lips and takes a sip before he begins to talk.

I'm not good at apologies, and the way I left…. Well I was a dick, but we know that about me, don't we? He laughs, and she smiles slightly at him. He reads her expression, it's a sort of sad smile that hurts. He reaches out again, his hand freezing in between them, and she looks away.

Liv?

She hums, it's more toward the window than to him, and he can tell she's lost in thought.

Liv, what's going on? What are you thinking about?

A hitch in her throat, and she clears it before she begins to speak, closing her eyes out the window.

Do you remember the first time we stayed on the phone all night?

He wants to tell her no, because it's a habit to keep their conversations guarded, but as he breaths in and out slowly, he knows that being honest is what New Elliot is all about.

Yeah. I do, it was winter. And suddenly Elliot is lost in thought as he speaks, and he closes his eyes. You had that pixie cut, it was starting to grow out by then and you had these half bangs. I remember it was the winter you had the thin green jacket, I remember thinking…. I remember wanting to always give you my coat because I didn't understand how you were warm. It was during the case where we had to dig through the cement in the basement, and I was upset because you didn't want to wear a mask to cover up the dust from the concrete. He opens his eyes, and she's looking at him with tears brimming in her eyes.

She opens her mouth, and as the tip of her tongue touches her the bottom right part of her lip, she licks it and closes her mouth again. She's controlling her breathing, and Elliot wants to tell her that it's okay. He wants to hold her, to run his hands along her jawline and tell her that it's okay to talk about this now. He wants to assure her that he's growing, that they aren't partners in the precinct anymore and that his family is more than welcoming about her. He wants to assure her that they can grow together, they can move past the toxicity that held them at arm's length for more than a decade. Instead, he waits and watches her, he's really getting better at this whole patience thing and he feels a small swell in his chest from pride. Once they moved past these waters, and once he can tell her everything without her need to run, she'll be proud of him.

Is that how you remember it? The question throws him off, and he must look as confused as he feels because she sighs and looks him dead on now.

It was a family, a family torn apart by people who didn't understand what it actually meant to be a family. You made a connection to our victim, and that connection to our vic and her sister was what helped us solve the case.

Elliot nods slowly, unsure of what to say. Saved by the bell it seems, because her phone dings and she takes a glance at it. A small frown forming as she gets up, and her phone is now ringing.

I've gotta go, sorry. And she's out her chair, and out the door leaving Elliot and her coffee behind, as she answers her phone. Elliot sits, and sips on his coffee. This still wasn't where he wanted the conversation to go, but it's better than last time he thinks, and he watches the people outside.