"But never say never. With the right person at your side, everything might be possible some day." Perhaps via adoption. The biggest reason I don't want a kid of my own is actually (for all of the somewhat smut scenes I write) that I'm asexual. Literally never felt sexual attraction to anyone.
"'Truth is only the lie, we have decided to believe'." I do think that that's an interesting quote, I like it. "I try to keep it balanced, which sometimes means to tend to one side or another." Exactly. "I'm a person, who love to consider logical reasons as often as possible." Tbh I tend to lean more towards putting emotion over logic, but I try to keep logic in there.
"I think I'll skip this phase." Good choice lmao.
"Wow, this sound like some wild times." Yeah, 2016 was a rough year. Wasn't sad to see it gone. "Like I said, I also tend very much to a positve character development for her, even without such a personal note linked with her character." I think that, that's another cool aspect of characters; you don't necessarily have to have been in their shoes to sympathize and understand. "I always have a lot of sympathy for her and I always feel so sorry for her." Imo it's hard not to, she was so young.
"Talking earlier about it, might had helped both." Exactly. I feel like that tends to happen with arguments. A misunderstanding or a miscommunication causes everything to go out of proportion. "I can see her forcing both back to the table to talk things out in order to stop her torture." P'Li might help, haven't decided yet. But I do know one direction that things are going to head in. Let's just say, Kuvira isn't exactly sure how to handle what's to come.
"Strange, because I'm really playing with the idea to do a comedy fic one day, but to be honest until now, I have no idea how to start. And I feel comedy is much harder to write than tragic stories." Oh lord, I agree. I've written a few crack fics. It's much harder for me to write pure comedy than it is to write serious ones. I feel like part of it as that humor can seem so cheap and ridiculous if not done right. "A funny scene or a little one-shot, okay, but a longer, more chapter comedy." Agree with you here too. I only have two chapter comedy fics; three if you count one that isn't finished. "Really don't know, if I could handle such a task." Honestly it's not for everyone. I have to be in the exact right mood for a humorous fic. "But maybe I'll try it one day. I think we all could need more reasons fore some good and joyful laughters." I recommend trying it at least once. I always recommend experimenting with genres.
"I'm still unsure about Azula's idea. In fact I think this idea only doubles the problems." It's a risk she's taking and she shares the same second thoughts as you do. That people either won't buy it or will get the wrong idea. Frankly if I were in her position I would just let the whole thing blow over and over time people would kind of get the hint that it was just a publicity stunt. But she doesn't like sitting idly by. "Again it's TyLee, who tries to ease her worries and who tries to get through her walls to find out, what kind of problems were resting on her shoulders." TyLee does her best, she helps Azula trough a lot. "Azula still prefers to fight this fight on her own." In this fic she still has her walls. "Some other may see this mover and direction as a scheme to cover up their relationship (which doesn't exist, but the idea is already placed in the heads out there)." This is another issues she has considered. "I see this parallel, the question is, has Azula seen it too." She might have. :P That is to be seen. "I'm really curious. Keep on banging head and having fun with your stories" Thank you! :D
Pushing forward without Baatar leaves a dreadful tingling sensation in her chest and belly. Adding several new members to the band makes the feeling that much worse. As though she is replacing him. Perhaps she is, in some sense. The addition of brass to the band only seems to highlight the way she has driven Baatar out. She takes them through rehersal after rehearsal, until it becomes methodical. The band is still about two days behind and the stress of it is the only thing that keeps Kuvira from losing it completely. She dreads the moment when they catch up-at which point she will have nothing else to distract her from the overwhelming sense of loss.
Her voice is soar, she has been neglecting her teas, she hasn't had time for them. She hasn't had time to rest her voice either. Two days is a lot of wasted time. Those two days could put them out of the competition.
"Start over." Kuvira commands, sharply. They have to be perfect before they can start filming. But they won't be, not truly so.
Not without Baatar.
For it she pushes them harder, as though it could compensate for that which is absent.
She hears Ghazan groan. "Can we at least get lunch first?"
"Lunch?" Ming mutters more to herself. "It's almost dinner time."
"We don't have-"
P'Li cuts in, "this is ridiculous, even for you, Kuvira." She snaps.
Kuvira isn't sure which sign is more prominent; that Ming has bothered to speak up or that P'Li is actually agreeing with Ghazan for once. She rubs her hands over her face. "Fine, take a break."
"Thanks." Ming mutters.
Kuvira lifts a dismissive hand and beckons them away from her. "Just hurry up."
She hopes that they will, Raava forbid they leave her alone to think for too long. She dismisses her new brass players as well. Raava knew that she has given them quite a grand first impression.
The recording studio is now empty save for her. She should probably fix herself something to eat, but she hasn't had much of an appetite since Baatar departed. For a moment she contemplates withdrawing from Southern Air Sounds. Is it really Wrought Iron Machine without Baatar? Could they really perform without him. But she has chosen the band over him, she might as well get something out of her decision.
She finds the energy to leave the studio and wander into town. Her feet carry her to a tiny corner store. It is almost instinctive to grab a pack of cigarettes. There is no time like the present to pick up on old habits. She very desperately needs something to sedate her.
She can practically hear Baatar scolding her for lighting up.
All the more reason to do it.
But this time her body seems to reject the smoke. She gives a horse cough and flicks the cigarette to the ground. Perhaps it is for the best.
She returns to the recording studio to find P'Li taking a drag of her own, no smoking signs be damned. Kuvira doesn't pay her much attention as she scribbles down a rather hateful song about Baatar and another more melancholy, guilt riddled one. It does little to alleviate the fresh heartache.
The rest of her band-minus Baatar-find their ways back into the studio. She takes her position at the microphone again and they practice until she feels as though they are ready for the video.
But they aren't ready.
They won't be ready.
How can they be ready without backing vocals from Baatar.
She can ask Tarrlock to provide some guest vocals, but it won't have the same effect and he'd go back to his own band as soon as she got used to him as a replacement. Perhaps Ghazan can provide. Kuvira pinched the bridge of her nose and frowned to herself. Who was she kidding, she can barely get the man to play his bass on most days, much less hand him a second job.
Kuvira stares from the window of her newly rented loft. It has too close a view to Suyin's estate. Her head aches with stress and she takes to massaging her temples, trying to work the pulsing away.
It does absolutely nothing so she makes her way to her new bed and lays herself upon it, with one arm under her head and the other slung just beneath her chest. She doesn't bother to unravel her braid, lest she cause her head more strife, by tugging at it.
She yearns desperately for sleep but she knows that she will not get any for a plethora of reasons. Most of them stem from the scratching sensation crafted by pushing her vocal chords and throat too hard. Another good lot comes from the beating in her head. It is also hard to sleep with the nausea she attributes to nerves and some physical embodiment of having been abandoned again.
It certainly doesn't help to hear Ghazan and Ming enjoying themselves down the hall.
She is getting the sense that Ghazan would be more alert if Ming didn't keep him up all night. The muffled moans from down the hall instill a tingling longing within her. Makes her miss Baatar that much more. Her mind escapes her and she thinks of times long gone by; more immature times where she and Baatar would get fed up with the noises above and go at it with twice the volume. P'Li's poorly-rested face had been one for the scrapbooks.
But Baatar is no longer there to fill the bed with her. Ming cries out again and the tingling intensifies until she can no longer resist. She dips her hand beneath her waistband.
.oOo.
Baatar paces about the room. Either he thought that Kuvira would pick him over her idea or didn't think that he would actually go through with breaking things off with her. He reaches the far right of the room. It dawns on him that he had been almost certain that she would have chose him.
But then, she is stubborn and proud.
He wonders how proud she is now.
He wonders how the band is getting on. He can't help but assume that they are better off without him. Kuvira can freely put her ideas into action and they are probably working better than his idea ever would have. Why would they waste money on a full orchestra anyways? It had been a stupid idea and he doesn't blame Kuvira for not liking it. All the same, he resents her for not even trying to meet him halfway. He reaches the leftmost side of the room again.
Yet he misses her. He finds it bitter that they are finally home, that they finally had a decent amount of time to spend together and they have thrown it away. He heads for the right side of the room. Even so, he knows that he needed to put his foot down.
Perhaps if he can shove his anger and hurt to the side he will strike up a second conversation with her.
He thinks of the ring he had discarded.
Had he been too harsh?
Did he have to break up with the band and her.
Baatar growls softly to himself, he needs to stop thinking about it. He has been thinking about it too much. Why was it that whenever he thinks he always second guesses himself? Is that why Kuvira always got the final say? He thinks that she has rather routinely taken advantage of his self-doubts.
He is angry and hurt all over again.
And he makes a decision.
No, he won't go crawling back to her this time.
She will come to him.
And she will do the apologizing.