"When everything has went wrong and you're left with nothing more than your underpants." I have never heard that before but I like it lol. "That's what I was going for with her. She was one of my favorite characters in Legend Of Korra." "chapter by chapter, skipping only one or two chapters, when a really good idea was hitting me and I got afraid to loose it." That's usually how I do it, so this fic is kind of rare in that I wrote the last chapter first. Most of it anyhow. "Not completely and maybe no one would recognize any damage, while speaking but when it comes to singing, where range, technique and flexability of the vocal cords are used at its maximum, then such things can ruin everything." In this fic Kuvira also had a cyst (I think I mentioned it very briefly in one of the fist chapters. She made a full recovery more or less. But Azula's is worse because she made it worse. "Everything was better for her, than staying in this misery." Exactly. She's better off now, after going through what she did. "hey everything with a 's'" the three S's of angst fics lmao.
"Again you have managed to transport the image of the stage outfits and of the kind of show, the bands have created, to me. You have caught the atmosphere, the vibes and the direction of the perfomances from both bands." Thanks again. It's very hard to describe music and make people hear it so I try to use the scenery and performance style to hint at what it could be and then let the reader create their own sound. "And the way you have described WIM has brought me some shows from 'Nightwish' in my mind." Tears of joy because I was 100% thinking of Nightwish when creating their costumes and stage setup. Tarja just released a new song and that was a bit of an inspiration. "Azula has risked her health for the show and so her voice and it seems, that this risk hasn't payed off." Yes, she is willing to sacrifice a lot for her career. "It was a clever idea to give her voice a break during her performance, but even the reduced program was too much." Thanks. But yes, you're correct, that little break couldn't possibly do damage control. Not with the style she sang in. "I'm worried about her. She's about to reach the point, Kuriva had reached two chapters ago." She reached her low. "The fact, that the others have managed to finish the show will only be a weak consolation." At least she won't have the burden of knowing that she caused them to not finish at all. "It would be a total loss without a chance to stand up again." We will see. :P "And the band has transported this energy to the crowd." Their band has a very special connection with their audience being as they have been in the industry for so long. "It was a special moment for the band and the fans, a new sound a new energy, the reunion with Baatar and the announcement of Kuriva's pregnancy, it has all fit together." And their band baby announcement certainly helped. "It was a magic moment for her, for the band and for the fans." She may or may not have had some sort of internal fangirl moment. "It seems, that WIM has the better end in this contest." They do have the upperhand. "Sure, they still want to win this contest, but this good performance and the further things, which will come with it are much more important." Exactly. They're at a point where they feel like they've won either way around. "Maybe a helping hand for Azula from a person, she always wanted to beat on stage, but we'll see." The impact of Fire Of Agni's loss was one of the things pre-written. ;) "Thank you so, so much for entering 'Kyoshi's Power Fist' and 'Tears of Yue' into this great story." You're welcome. :) Thanks for the idea.
It hasn't taken long at all for the headlines to announce her vocal struggles and declining health, to have them plastered for everyone to see. Even if she wants to she can't say anything on her own behalf. She reads another headline; 'Has the Fire Been Put Out: Fire Of Agni Frontwoman Loses Voice.'
Azula sits in an emergency room back in the Fire Nation, they still don't have the equipment to correct the worsened cyst. For the time they only monitor her vitals and pain-levels. She doesn't think much about the pain though. Her head is preoccupied by the image of her father's complacent look of satisfaction. By the realization that she had made a fool of herself at the world's most extravagant and esteemed music competition. By the thought that she will never talk, much less, sing again.
She doesn't know which matter concerns her the most, she supposes that they are all interconnected. Even if she does recover, after unleashing such an Agni-awful, ear-piercing sound on stage she can't imagine that she'll be getting another invite to Southern Air Sounds. Her musical career is over. Her only option is to wander back to her father and hope that she can win him over with her firebending talents. She can't beg him for another chance if she can't speak.
There is a pressure behind her eyes and she wants to let it out. But crying will only do more damage to her delicate vocal cords. The doctor warns as much. So she tries her best to choke back her embarrassment and grief.
She truly hopes that she won't hear from her father anytime soon, she can't take it. Zuko takes a seat next to her and squeezes her hand. She appreciates his company and the gesture, but it is little condolences. Just as little as TyLee's tight hugs and loving kisses. Mai tries to assure her that the crowd was kind. "They weren't saying anything bad about you, you know? After the show everyone was just asking if you were okay."
"They were really worried." Zuko adds.
"Someone told me to give this to you!" TyLee smiles. She hands her a stuffed fire ferret and a get well soon card. Azula takes them without a sound, she barely looks up. She isn't sure who is rubbing her back but she thinks that it is either Zuko or TyLee.
"Do you…" she rasps but it is broken and painful so she ceases trying to vocalize her question.
"Here." Mai pushes her a pad of papers. She pushes it back, opting to spell her question in the air with fire. If she can't speak she may as well make it look cool. With her fire she asks if they've been barred from attending S.A.S in the future. It is easier to simply use the acronym so that is what she does.
"I don't think so. We were doing amazing up until…" Mai trails off.
"They said that they admired our creativity and ability to improvise." Zuko points out.
'No thanks to me.' She spells out.
"Creativity!" TyLee points out. "They liked your idea to have an instrumental number. None of the other bands did that."
It is only a sliver of reassurance. At least she hasn't completely messed up. She stares at her hands. She just wants her voice back.
The pain finally begins setting in, it rips at her throat bringing tears to her eyes.
Zuko's back rubs increase.
"Are you alright, Azula?" TyLee asks, her eyes sympathetic.
She only has it in her to spell out, "hurts." She curls herself up
.oOo.
The temples are stunning, more stunning than Kuvira remembers. They have added some decorative chandeliers. She feels blessed that they have invited her to stay. She and the rest of her band have been invited to a dinner with the three bands that performed after hers. An unexpected but every bit as welcomed victory surprise.
She triple checks her hair and attire. She has her hair in another neat and tight braided bun and has applied a touch of makeup to her face. "How is this, Baatar?"
"I already told you that you look amazing." He replies, "can we just have dinner?"
"Yeah, I'm getting hungry and I hear that the wine is fantastic." Ghazan remarks, putting his arm around Ming.
"You're always hungry." P'Li remarks.
"Correct." He winks.
Kuvira adds a comb hair clip to her outfit and checks the mirror for a fourth time. She wants to leave a good impression if she is going to be dining with musical legends. Baatar takes her hand and pulls her away from the mirror. "I think that that's perfect."
"You say that about everything I wear." Kuvira points out.
"Because everything you wear is perfect."
"Ugg." P'Li grumbles. "Definitely didn't miss that."
Kuvira unfolds a cloth map and leads her band down the hall. Baatar links his arm with hers. They wander for some time, stopping on one occasion to see the Southern Air hall of fame. It is organized by category from jazz to pop and folk to metal. Kuvira scans the category reserved for the musical legends, it is surreal to see an image of their band among them. It is from their performance three days prior.
"Now Ming, don't touch anything." Ghazan says.
"Ha. Funny man." She mutters.
As they chatter, Kuvira wanders further down the hall viewing the metal category and finding a second image of Wrought Iron Machine. Still it is dream-like to see it hanging there in a frame of swirling gold. The rest of her band comes to catch up with her. She comes to the last category, a seemingly new sub category. There is only a single photograph in the section for bands with the most unique concepts.
She wonders if they are even aware being as they were forced to depart so soon.
Baatar nudges her, "we're going to be late."
Kuvira picks up her pace and soon she is standing before a set of almost absurdly long double doors. The insignia of the air nomads is carved at the center of both of them. Kuvira takes a breath and smooths a few wrinkles out of her outfit. Baatar rubs her shoulders encouragingly.
She heaves the doors open and makes her way to the empty chairs reserved for she and her band. "Welcome." Greets Karou. The frontman of Wan Shi Tong's Waltz sits at the head of the table, their dinner and competition host.
It is somewhat hard to maintain composure, the result of some residual teenage crush that never had a chance to fully extinguish.
"Thank you." Baatar fills in for her. "We're honored to be guests here."
Karou shakes their hands each in turn. "And I'd like to personally congratulate you for joining us in the hall of fame and for the baby. Perhapst the child will share your musical talents."
Kuvira smiles. "Thank you. I hope the same." Even if the child has other interests she makes a very special point to let them flourish. "Though she may take up Baatar's fascination with machines."
Another woman speaks, Xing-Bora from Tears of Yue. "I think we should also congratulate the two of you for saving your marriage and the band."
"It's a wonder you all pulled through so close to the competition." Remarks Chong. "What was that about anyways?"
His own wife nudges him. "Apologies, he still has is countryside manners."
P'Li scoffs, "we'll forgive him if you all forgive Ghazan for being a human disaster."
"It's a long story." Kuvira cuts in before they can start a secondhand embarrassment inducing round of bickering. "To put it simply, even though I let him name the band," Kuvira sneaks in, "he felt as though he didn't get enough creative freedom."
Baatar rubs the back of his head. "A man needs to show his brilliance every now and again."
Conversation breaks off momentarily as appetizers are passed around. Kuvira resumes the chatter with a simple. "It was a pleasure to see you perform." An understatement.
"And a pleasure to listen to your band as well." Karou returns cheerfully. "I was hoping that you would be willing to perform during our next competition." He pauses. "Of course, you won't be able to perform as a contestant. Instead you will be performing with us during the esteemed after-competition show."
"We certainly plan on it." Kuvira replies. Though she isn't entirely certain what ten years will bring. How their child will impact their band. She decides to take things as they come and hope for the best.
"It will be hard to top this decade's contest." Chong notes.
"It was certainly eventful." Xing-Bora remarks. "It's a shame about Fire of Agni…"
"How is the girl?" Chong's wife asks.
"If the headlines are to be trusted, she's due for surgery sometime within the month." Karou replies.
"I hope that it works." Chong's wife says softly.
"Yes," Kuvira adds. "She…" she isn't sure if she should use past or present tense. She feels optimistic. "She has a very unique talent, I don't think that I've heard a voice like hers." Again, her heart pangs for the girl.
"I thought that your band didn't like theirs."
"It was a phase." P'Li waves her hand dismissively. "We needed someone to shit talk so we wouldn't shit talk each other."
"We did it anyways." Ghazan shrugged.
"No less, the kids have talent." Karou speaks. "I would love to see them back next time around. They have it in them to win if Azula makes a full recovery. They have it in them to win even if she only recovers partially."
Their discussion dies down again as the main course is set before them. Kuvira takes the opportunity to gaze at the other tables; like their own two others are lined with golden tablecloths. They host other past winners of Southern Air Sounds. The ones lined in silver host the second placers and the honorable mentions. And a bunch of others tables a reserved for audience members and bands that had paid to have seating. She sees four empty spots at the silver tables. Karou follows her gaze. "We figured that it would be respectful to have a spot open for them even if they can't fill them."
Kuvira nods.
The rest of their dinner is mundane. She inquires some about the bands and styles that have influenced Wan Shi Tong's Waltz and Ghazan makes a few off-color remarks as the beer gets to him. Ming really only speaks to ask why her ice cream is topped with two cherries while everyone else only has one. It is more laid back than she has anticipated. And it goes by much faster. It seems as though they have barely finished desert when guests start heading for the door.
Karou turns to her and hands her an envelope. "Your prize money and an invite to our next competition."
Kuvira will have to split the prize money when she gets a chance.
"If you run into Fire of Agni before they receive their letter, do tell them that they have been invited."
"I can hand them their letter personally."
.oOo.
The surgery leaves her terribly anxious. They say that it can ruin her voice. All the same she wonders if it even matters, she has already done that herself. She does wish, though, that they hadn't told her of the possibility of something going wrong enough to kill her. On the other hand, she no longer knows if she is entirely opposed to that.
She faintly thinks that she is being overly dramatic. If nothing else she still has TyLee. She still has Zuko and Mai.
The three have worked so hard to uplift her spirits. To remind her not to bother with her father. To remind her that she still has a spot in the band. They don't tell her how, they leave her to remind herself that she can still play the guitar. That she can still organize the band and design their sets and write their lyrics.
She repeats the reminders to herself as TyLee pulls her into her arms. She doesn't particularly want to be held at the moment, she has received enough pity and babying, but she doesn't resist either. TyLee holds her tightly, it is almost too brief because a nurse comes to beckon her forward.
Azula listens to them explain the procedure to her, cringing inwardly at some of the descriptors. After a certain point she wonders if she even wants to know. She decides that she does, she wants to know exactly what to expect.
Not long after, she finds herself drifting into a drug induced sleep.
She wakes up groggy. She opens her mouth to speak but is immediately scolded. It takes her mind a moment to catch back up with her. The words die on her lips. She sits herself upright, they let her do so but it leaves her feeling dizzy so she goes to lay back down. Zuko holds her up as TyLee props a pillow up for her. She scans the room for Mai and finds the girl leaning against the wall as quietly as ever.
Doctor Fing-Sho reappears, taking a seat next to her bed. "I have a few instructions for you."
Azula nods.
"Obviously I advise that you talk as little as possible for the first two weeks, perhaps three. When you do speak, be brief. Don't yell or try to sing." He pauses and she nods her understanding again. "Your voice will sound very hoarse. This can last up to eight weeks. We can start vocal therapy during week three. I know I said you can begin talking more after two weeks, but I would like to play on the safe side. You are very lucky that we were able to fix the damage you've done."
Azula subtly gnaws the inside of her cheek.
"With that said, I recommend that you find yourself a vocal trainer who specializes in musical techniques."
Azula nods once more.
"Finally, you have a visitor." Fing-Sho smiles.
Azula knits her brows and then the panic sets in. Rather quickly she spells with fire, that she doesn't want to see her father.
"It's not your father." The doctor replies.
Using her fire she vocalizes her approval and Fing-Sho beckons her visitor into the room. Azula tries to hide a scowl when she sees the face of the woman who she'd handed her victory over to. Kuvira makes herself as comfortable as she can in a hospital chair. She rests one hand on the arm rest and her other on her belly. "I hope you don't mind me coming by."
Azula absolutely does, but she doesn't use her fire to depict as much.
"I actually came by to give you something." She holds an envelope out.
Azula reaches for it and her brows knit again at the sight of the seal.
"There was an after party of sorts. I spoke to Karou, he says that he hopes to see you at the next competition.
Azula's face softens, the woman is doing a good job of breaking the ice whether she wants to admit it or not.
"He believes that you will do well even if you don't make a full recovery, I don't know if that makes things any better."
This time she does let the woman know that it does not.
Kuvira gives a small laugh. "I didn't think so. Not much made me feel better when Fing-Sho worked with me…"
Azula tilts her head so Kuvira elaborates.
"Awhile back...a long while, Wrought Iron Machine tried to do something like your first album. I don't have the vocal type you do. I messed my voice up rather quickly trying to force something that I wasn't good at." She shrugs.
"Why are you here?" Zuko asks. "Your band hates ours."
Kuvira shrugs a second time. "We don't hate your band. We just...got a little competitive."
How diplomatic, Azula thinks to herself.
"We were falling out of the limelight and you were in it."
She is the jealous type.
"You've created a sound that no one has heard before and...we wanted to do that for ourselves." She pauses. "A success by the way."
"Well congratulations." Mai grumbles, "it's our turn to be on the bottom."
"That's not what I meant." Kuvira replies. "I meant that your creation was a success. You have a spot in the Southern Air Sounds hall of fame for it."
"We do?" TyLee smiles.
"Yes, you do." She turns back to Zuko. "To answer your question; I'm here to make amends."
Azula frowns. She has very little interest in the woman, she is condescending and self-righteous. She folds her arms over her chest and glowers at Kuvira. The woman looks terribly unfazed. Azula supposes that she isn't all that intimidating in a hospital gown and without her voice.
"You remind me of myself. You have reckless ambition. A drive to make it to the top." She pauses again. "I've only ever seen that kind of determination when it's all or nothing." Again she halts. "Mine comes from spite I suppose. My parents thought that my dreams were foolish so they dumped me on the side of the road for trying to pursue them. I was hoping that my appearance in Southern Air Sounds..." She breaks off. "I just thought that they would show up. For some reason I expected them to. I don't think that they even know who I am anymore."
Azula wishes that the woman hadn't shared because now there is a sort of connection, now she feels inclined to hear the woman out. Zuko speaks first. "I don't know if you heard about it but Azula and I didn't leave home willingly either.
Kuvira nods empathetically. "I had a feeling. I know what an abandoned child looks like…"
She remains quiet in thought for a long while. "That's also why I'm here. I have another offer for you."
.oOo.
The house is quiet. Quiet and empty. She and Baatar haven't quite gotten around to moving all of their furniture in. P'Li, Ghazan, and Ming-Hua have taken to exploring their new neighborhood. Kuvira herself decides to stay home and try to tidy the place up a bit, plan out how she'd like to lay out their furniture. She looks over Baatar's ideas, deciding that they are probably good enough. The man in question is away as well, somewhere between his childhood home and their new one, driving a large satomobile full of their possessions. She would love to help but they are down to the heaviest of their belongings and she has already received a good scolding from her doctor against heavy lifting.
Eventually she resigns to that she is six months along and needs to take it easy. She supposes it isn't so bad, she hasn't left him totally alone. He has help from his brothers and from Zuko. Most comfortingly, he has Lin's assistance. Kuvira is half convinced that the very reason so much progress has been made in their move because of Lin alone.
Azula wanders into the nearly barren room, Kuvira didn't hear her come in and wonders how long she has been there. She doesn't talk much and Kuvira, at first, assumed that the girl was still weary of hurting her voice further. But she has come to find that the firebender is simply a quieter person. When she does speak it is typically soft-spoken. The kind of soothing timbre Kuvira had been expecting and not expecting all at once. Looking at her, it makes perfect sense but after hearing only her music for so long it is hard to imagine her speaking so softly.
"How was therapy."
"It was…" she thinks for a moment, "it went better than last time." There is still a hoarser undertone to her voice, but the raspiness is becoming less pronounced as the healing process continues.
Kuvira has cup of tea ready. It is still steaming when she pours it for the girl. "Here, drink."
Azula takes the cup in her hands. "Uncle makes better tea."
The girl has a bit of a difficult temperament, Kuvira has learned to brush off her more prickly moods. She no longer takes the more off-handed commentary to heart.
"It's not the taste that matters, it's the effect." Raava knows that the girl has fought her on this many a times. Kuvira stands by her opinion; as long as the tea can help soothe the girl's throat, it is serving its purpose.
Azula routinely argues that Kuvira should learn to make better tea if she is going to make her drink it every other day.
"Have a seat." Kuvira offers only to have the firebender decline.
"I like standing." She sips at the tea, just once before holding it over a small fire in her palm.
"I've never seen firebending like that."
"It's actually quite common for firebenders to heat their tea like this."
Kuvira rolls her eyes, feeling a faint hint of amusement. "I've never seen someone use blue fire."
Azula gives a prideful smile. "Good. I like to think that it is something only I can do."
The remark is the loudest Kuvira has heard from the girl since adopting her. She wonders if the firebender's voice had always been this soft or if it is the product of her injury. She tries to recall one of Fire Of Agni's interviews. Before she can truly reach a decision her thoughts are cut off by a very loud and very cheerful, "Oh Azula! You're home!" Kuvira watches the other girl throw her arms around Azula who returns the gesture by awkwardly patting her girlfriend's head.
"It's good to see you too, Ty."
Kuvira finds it hard to resist making an inquiry. "Was her voice always this quiet?"
TyLee thinks for a moment. "Hmmm. Sort of. She used to talk a little louder, but not that much."
"You need more tea." Kuvira declares, needing an excuse to be on her feet.
"You need to get out of the house." Azula shoots back.
The girl isn't entirely wrong. But her tone of voice comes with a touch of sass. Kuvira supposes that it will do her well to get used to it. Her baby will be a teen eventually. Raising-though she uses the term loosely-the former princess, her brother, and friends has been an interesting feat to say the least. She doesn't know how Suyin has managed to raise all of her children and Kuvira herself.
"I suppose that I will when Baatar gets home." Kuvira says at last.
"What are you going to name it?" TyLee changes the subject.
Before she can give her answer Azula grumbles, "you better not name it after Karou."
"We had two names in mind." Kuvira replies. "Setsuko and Kotone."
"Setsuko." Azula casts her vote and TyLee nods in agreement.
Azula hands Kuvira her cup. "I don't know what you want me to do with this."
"Whatever my servants used to do with them." Azula shrugs.
"I'm not your servant. I'm your mother." It is still somewhat strange to say.
Frowning, Azula hands the cup to TyLee who flounces over to the sink and washes it. Kuvira rolls her eyes. One of these days she will have to get the girl to do her own dishes.
It would seem as though TyLee doesn't share any of the awkward feelings. "Are you coming to or show tonight, mom? It's our first one since S.A.S."
"I'll be there." She replies.
"Good because it's going to be my first time singing that many songs. And Azula has been really working hard on learning to play the guitar."
"I thought that you already knew how to play it."
"I put more focus into singing." Azula shrugs. "But if I can't do that, I might as well make myself known for play the guitar better than everyone else."
So that is why Ghazan has been strumming his bass so intensely. She wonders if it is truly possible that her fiance is in an unspoken competition with a teenager. It begins to dawn on Kuivra that she has created a very bizarre family for herself. She supposes that she likes it this way, it keeps her occupied.
.oOo.
The past few months leave the former princess wondering why she had gone out of her way to create scandals and article material. Headlines seem to be coming left and right these days. The headlines have long since made note of Kuvira adopting four fire children with speculations ranging from simple observations to theories that they are about to form one large band.
The chatter of that had only just died down when Azula's former rival found herself to be the subject of a new brand of talk with a slew of invasive journalists trying to get the first shot of the woman's newborn. A separate news article reported P'Li landing a good punch on one of the particularly eager ones.
For herself, Azula's voice and the state of it are in constant discussion. The latest article unveils her plans to begin singing again. For the time it will be reserved for the recording studio only and depending on how that goes, she will be singing on stage when they tour alongside Wrought Iron Machine.
She is reluctant to thank Kuvira. Albeit a bit overbearing, the woman has gone out of her way to pass down a few of the vocal technique and warm ups she has learned. With the woman occupied by her baby girl, Azula almost misses having her lingering in the studio with her. But she has TyLee for company. Soon she will have Zuko and Mai as well. They are late again because Zuko refuses to leave without his beanie. Maybe if her brother kept his room more organized, he wouldn't run into such a struggle. Perhaps she can get Kuvira to nag the boy. Such is another area of common ground; they both wish that one of their bandmates could tidy up a bit.
All in all, she is growing used to and fond of referring to the metalbender as her mother. She is closer to her than she had been with her real mother. And the woman, though prone to being somewhat of a hardass is kinder than her own father ever was. She is nearly at a point where she doesn't miss her real parents at all. But if Kuvira is anything to go by, the disappointment never truly leaves.
Azula uses the spare time to get her new lyrics in order and her equipment adjusted. Her line of thinking switches. She is somewhat nervous to be back in the studio. Doctor Fing-Sho insists that her vocal cords are mostly healed, that the therapy is doing them very well. Yet there is still a faint tingle at the back of her mind that she can tear them apart again.
Screaming is still off of the table, at least for the time being. She is allowed a line or two of harsh vocals but it is advised that she doesn't perform a set with them every single night. For now she will leave Zuko with that job and take up the gentler vocals.
No matter how solid her plan is she still feels vaguely insecure. The change is so subtle but she still finds that she can't speak as loudly as before and there is still a very slight rasp to her voice that is going to take some getting used to.
Perhaps it will make her stand out. It isn't a vocal quality many others have. TyLee speculates as much anyhow.
Finally the door opens. But it is not Zuko who enters.
Kuvira leans in the doorway Setsuko in one arm and a tea set in the other. Azula admires the woman's creativity, she uses a metal platter, bending it to keep the porcelain on it from falling.
"I wrote a letter to the Jasmine Dragon a while back." She says as she sets the tea set down. She brushes her fingers over the baby's cheek. "You better like it this time."
"Thank you." Azula picks up the cup. It is heated to a satisfactory degree, things are off to a good start.
Baatar appears in the doorway. "Suyin says that she can watch Setsuko while we reccord tomorrow."
"Thank Raava." Kuvira mutters. She hands the baby over to the man.
Azula notes that the woman definitely looks worn. Her hair is some straggly and she is still wearing pajama bottoms. Baatar slips his free arm around the woman's waist.
"What are you going to do today?" Azula asks.
"While Baatar watches Setsuko, I was going to take P'Li to visit Zaheer in prison."
Azula krinkles her brows. "Seriously."
Kuvira nods.
"Have a grand time."
Kuvira laughs. "If you need anything just call Baatar."
Azula nods. As Kuvira and Baatar leave, Mai, TyLee, and Zuko make their appearance. "It's about time. I was about to start on my solo album."
Zuko bumps her shoulder. "Good to have you back, Azula."
It is nice to be in the studio again.