Tommy called early in the morning. He knew Rosalind woke up before six, even when she was on vacation. He knew she loved the quiet of dawn.
Somehow, her sisters had picked up the habit. Rosalind and Jane were enjoying a cup of coffee on the deck. Rosalind took hers black. Jane filled her mug halfway with milk, but Jane always drank about four cups. Skye didn't drink much coffee while on vacation, but she was messing around in the kitchen, trying to make pancakes. They had discovered that if Batty could hear and smell breakfast being made, she too would rise from her bed before eight.
Rosalind's phone had been on the kitchen counter, so when Skye saw it was from Tommy, she carried it out to her.
Rosalind's stomach dropped. Her sisters didn't know it, but she had barely texted Tommy since arriving at Point Mouette. With Skye dangling the phone over her, Rosalind had to answer.
Tommy wanted to know how she was, how did Point Mouette look, was Birches the same as ever.
"It's good," Rosalind said. "It's all good, totally lovely."
She glanced at Jane, who for once didn't have her nose buried in a novel or a notebook. To Rosalind's distress, Skye was leaning against the doorframe and watching. Rosalind cursed herself for being so stupid. Her sisters weren't self-centered, of course they knew something was up.
And they knew as well as Rosalind that this conversation was long overdue. The storm had been brewing. The winds had picked up every time Rosalind had changed the subject when the wedding came up, every time she had been uncharacteristically short-tempered.
"Rosie, are you ok?" Tommy asked.
"I'm fine," Rosalind said. She cursed herself for already feeling a lump in her throat.
"I know something's up," Tommy said. "And I don't know why you're lying to me, you never lie, it's got me worried."
Rosalind chewed on her lip. Tommy knew her as well as anyone. They had grown up together. He could read a depth of meaning in the way Rosalind tipped her head or blinked her eyes. She could know exactly how he was feeling by the way he fiddled with his hands. It was amazing, knowing another person that well. But in this exact moment, Rosalind was starting to think it was a bit annoying as well. Why couldn't Tommy just be a little more oblivious for a few more days while Rosalind sorted things out?
Not that she was sorting things out. If she was honest with herself, she knew she was just trying to make time stand still.
"Do you want me to come up there?" Tommy asked. "I can get in the car and be there by tonight."
"NO," Rosalind said.
Jane visibly jumped. Rosalind's vehemence surprised even herself, but she didn't try to reign it in. She just looked up at Skye, who was standing perfectly still, like some predatory animal, watching its prey. Skye wasn't surprised or rattled. Nothing shook Skye.
"I just want to be left alone," Rosalind said. "I need space."
"Rosie," Tommy said slowly, dangerously. "You need to tell me exactly what that means."
"It means things are moving too fast," Rosalind said. Her voice was raised now, and it rang out over the crisp morning air. "It means that I feel like I lost control of my life at some point, and I can't get it back. It means that maybe I don't want to have the wedding next month."
"You don't want to get married?" Tommy asked.
Rosalind's heart stopped.
"I don't know," she whispered.
Tommy cursed under his breath.
"You could have said something earlier," he said. "I would have said something earlier. I guess it's good we didn't hire a caterer, no big fancy wedding at a venue. I'll just have to call my mom, tell her to stop cooking. She's been working day and night, you know."
"No," Rosalind said. "Don't call your mom, please. I need time."
"There is no more time," Tommy said quietly. "If you don't want to marry me now, we can't do it next month. I can't do that."
"I didn't say I didn't want to marry you," Rosalind said.
"I love you, Rosie," Tommy said. "I have always loved you. But I'm not going to pressure you to marry me when you clearly don't want to."
Rosalind knew she was going to cry. She felt the tears rising like a great wave. But before she broke down, she felt a hard spark of cold anger. Instead of pushing it aside like she usually did, she rushed towards it.
"Why do you think it's all about you, Tommy?" Rosalind asked. "It's your heart, it's your love. You have always loved me, and shouldn't I be so happy and grateful for that. That I've always had you so I've never really had to be alone or figure things out for myself. Maybe, for once, it's not about you, it's about me! And what I want. Maybe I don't want to follow the cookie cutter path you've been oh so kind to offer me. Maybe I don't want to get married and then have kids and then be a wife and a mother for the rest of my life! Did it ever once occur to you that I might not want all that?"
"So you don't want a family with me," Tommy said, his voice as cold as ice. "I get it."
"I didn't say I didn't want it," Rosalind screeched. "It just would have been nice if you had asked if I wanted that, instead of assuming!"
On the other line, Tommy was silent for so long, Rosalind thought he had hung up.
"Sorry," he said at last, in a voice so morose it drained all the anger out of Rosalind. Her chest deflated like a balloon.
She heard him take a deep breath. She wanted him to say something else, but she couldn't for the life of her decide what she wanted to hear.
"I'll call my mom," Tommy said. "I don't want her to waste her time cooking and planning."
Whatever Rosalind had wanted him to say, that wasn't it.
"Ok," she said.
Rosalind set her phone down. For a second she thought of throwing it over the deck. But Rosalind didn't do stuff like that. Rosalind was never impetuous or impractical.
She looked up. Jane was clutching her hands over her heart. Skye was silently appraising her older sister with an admiring eye. Batty, wide-eyed and rumple-haired, stood behind Skye.
"This is shaping up to be some bachelorette party," Skye said.
Rosalind gasped out a laugh, brief and painful. Then she burst into tears.