The morning after the phone call with Tommy, Rosalind went for a walk. She realized that she was thinking of the phone call as a cataclysmic event. Now there would always be Before the Phone Call and After the Phone Call.

Strangely, Rosalind felt lighter. She was still devastated. She still longed to talk more with Tommy. She wanted to see him with every fiber of her being, even if she didn't know what she would say to him. But as she kicked her barefeet in the surf, she realized that she didn't feel worried anymore.

There was no great fear hanging over her. She had said the thing that was bottled up and ready to explode. The worst had happened. She was an awful person, and everyone hated her, just as she had feared they would. But she was still alive.

When Tommy had said he didn't want to marry her, Rosalind had actually thought her heart had stopped. And now here it was, early morning, the sun rising like it always did, and Rosalind's heart was still beating.

And anyway, it was unfair to say that everyone hated her. Her sisters didn't hate her. They were deeply concerned for her health, possibly disturbed by her behavior, definitely questioning her sanity...but they did not hate her.

Rosalind knew she couldn't stay in Point Mouette forever. She had opened up a colossal can of worms, with absolutely no idea how to solve any of the problems she had thrown at Tommy. She could sit in this cocoon of sisterly support here in Maine for a few more days, but the reckoning would come for her eventually.

At about midnight, she had almost hopped in Skye's car. She had been overcome with the need to see Tommy so she could explain...whatever it was that was happening. She knew she couldn't do it over the phone. She had to look into his eyes, the eyes that she had always trusted, and ask him, once more, to trust her again.

Rosalind had even gone so far to throw on a jacket and push her feet into her sneakers. But she hadn't left the bedroom.

Tommy was her safe harbor, and she could go running to him. But wasn't the problem exactly that? For the last twelve years of her life, Rosalind had clung to his reliable presence. She hadn't faced any challenges or any questions about what she was going to do or be. She was going to stick with Tommy. Because he was easy and pleasant and comfortable.

When Rosalind broke up with Tommy before going to college, she had felt righteous. It was the smart thing to do. A girl shouldn't go to college with a boyfriend from high school, everyone knew that.

Her first week at Brown had been misery. Everything was new, everyone was more clever and more sophisticated. Rosalind had been lonely. Some evenings, after grabbing a quick meal in the servery, she had curled up in her bed at seven and cried herself to sleep.

But then things had gotten better. Rosalind joined clubs and made loads of friends. She got involved with the Eco-Action team. Her friends had confessed to her that they had felt horrible and lonely during the first few weeks of freshmen year as well. It wasn't because she was away from Tommy, it was normal to struggle. Maybe it was even important to struggle and be alone sometimes.

At the end of the year, she had reunited with Tommy. She had been off on her own, she had enjoyed her first year of college, and she could have him back now without fearing that she would miss out on her college experience. And because she had briefly dated Oliver the Idiot, everyone acted like her reunion with Tommy was a Godsend. As if everyone believed that if Rosalind wasn't with Tommy, she could only be with pretentious snobs like Oliver.

But Rosalind would have ditched Oliver whether or not Tommy was in the picture. She wasn't stupid. She would have seen Oliver for what he was, and she would have bid him farewell. And then she would have continued on with her life. There was more out there than just Tommy.

She was mad at her family over that. Of course they adored Tommy, of course he was wonderful. But her family should never have acted like he was the only one for her. They should never have begged her to get back with him and then practically thrown a party when she did. They should have told Rosalind it was her choice, her life. This should be something that belonged to her and her alone. Her dad should have said something. He should have counseled her that being single for a year wasn't that long, in the great scheme of things. Instead, Mr. Penderwick just shook good old Tommy's hand. Jane should have stopped obsessing over Tommy and focused on sorting out her own boy troubles. Batty should have stopped whining about how much she missed Tommy and accepted that he wasn't Batty's boyfriend to have or not to have. And Skye! Of all people, Skye should have been there to scoff at love and romance and remind Rosalind that she didn't have to get back with Tommy.

Rosalind could never be angry at her family for long though. She had known she didn't have to get back with Tommy. She had wanted to get back with him. It had felt wonderful to be with him. She didn't even regret deciding to date again. With the foundation of friends and activities from freshman year, she had a fulfilling time in college.

She wasn't angry at herself for getting back with Tommy. She was angry at herself for never once, after that brief time, questioning the relationship. For feeling like she had to cling to Tommy because without him, she just didn't function. For accepting her and Tommy as the beginning and the end, just because her family said it was so.

Rosalind turned toward the ocean and sank onto the sand. Rosalind couldn't be angry at her family for very long, but she could be angry at herself for a good long while.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rosalind saw a figure approaching, tall and lean.

Skye plopped down beside her. Rosalind smiled in greeting. She waited for Skye to ask about Tommy. She expected Skye to dive straight in, get right to the point, and demand answers. Then perhaps throw in a line about how marriage was a patriarchal institution so good for Rosalind for dodging a bullet.

Skye did none of that.

"Remember when I yelled at Mrs. Tifton for insulting our family?" Skye asked.

"Of course," Rosalind said. "It's branded in my memory forever."

"And I wouldn't tell anyone what had happened when I came back sopping wet with a hysterical Batty."

"She wasn't hysterical," Rosalind said.

"Yes, she was," Skye said. "But I calmed her down a bit before we got back to the cottage."

"Jesus," Rosalind said.

Skye cleared her throat and glanced over at her older sister.

"But later that night, I told you what had happened," Skye said. "I've only ever told you all the stuff that woman said about us. I summarized later and cut out bits for everyone else. But I told you everything. How she called me sneaky and sarcastic, and she said there was something wrong with Batty's mental development."

Even after all this time, even when she knew Mrs. Tifton was nothing but a sad and bitter old woman who would never understand love and friendship, Rosalind still flinched at the insults.

"And how she said dad couldn't handle us, and how our mother had probably walked out," Skye continued. "And then she said what she said about you."

Rosalind pursed her lips. She wasn't twelve anymore. There was no reason this story should still make her want to sob into her pillow and hide in a closet forever.

"That I had a massive crush on Cagney," Rosalind said. "Which was true, I can't deny it."

"But the other things were horrible," Skye said. "When she said that 'one day some man was going to allow himself to be caught by your lovesick puppy act and that would be the end of your wide-eyed innocence.'

See, I remember every word because I've always felt bad for repeating that awful thing to you. I remember how you looked when I told you, like you had been shaken. Like you were going to pass out or something."

"Skye, I don't really think –" Rosalind interjected.

"Let me finish," Skye said. She took a deep breath. "I remember it so well because it was the first time in my whole life that I had ever seen you truly upset. It was like there was all of a sudden a crack in the mask I hadn't even known you were wearing. Even when mom died, I knew you were sad, but you put on such a brave face. You were always calm and polite. You had endless patience with Batty. You were always in control of your emotions, and I used to think it was because you were perfect. You were made of different stuff than me or Jane. And it wasn't until that night at Arundel when I told you those mean things that I saw you weren't perfect. You felt pain and sadness too. You were just hiding it from the rest of us. You were just making sure we never saw your weaknesses.

"I think about that night all the time. I think about how you weren't perfect, and you weren't an adult, but you acted like you were. For all of our sakes. And how unfair it is. And I'm sorry about that. Really, I wish it could have been different."

"Me too," Rosalind whispered. Tears were streaming down her face. She patted them with her fingertips. When had math-obsessed Skye become so emotionally perceptive?

"So I have a guess," Skye said. "That all this stuff with Tommy isn't really about the wedding or Tommy. It's about you and everything you've had to do for everyone else."

"I just feel like I'm in a box," Rosalind said. "I've always been in it, and I can't get out because I have to be Rosalind, the oldest. Rosalind, the responsible one. Rosalind, the mother."

"You don't want kids?" Skye said.

"I want kids so badly," Rosalind said. "With Tommy. I'm just so scared that I'll give and give, and they'll take and take, and someday I'll end up resenting it all."

Rosalind felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She looked at Skye. Brave, fearless Skye. If she couldn't admit it to Skye here and now, she would forever be a liar.

"Sometimes I resent you," Rosalind said. "You and Jane and Dad, and Batty, even though none of this was her fault. I love you all so much, but sometimes I get so mad at you all. Because I gave and I gave, and I never got to take. I never got to screw up or have a breakdown or lose my temper because that's not how Rosalind acted. Never Rosalind."

Skye schooched closer and wrapped her arms around Rosalind.

"I'm sorry," Skye whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Rosalind let her sister hug her, and for long moments they sat there, holding each other as the waves crept closer and closer to their toes.

Eventually Rosalind's tears subsided and she took a steadying breath.

"Although, if you think about it," Rosalind said. "Running away to Maine and calling off a wedding a month in advance is a pretty massive breakdown so maybe I'm finally getting my chance to be the one screwing up."

Skye laughed dryly.

"Anyway," Rosalind said. "None of this is your fault."

"It has often occurred to me that I was the worst possible OAP Second in Command," Skye said. "Seriously, we should have found a way to promote Jane to the position."

"Jane could never keep her head in times of crisis, and you know it," Rosalind said. "You were the perfect second. You sucked at the daily stuff, but you were an invincible wartime commander."

"And this is a time of crisis," Skye said.

"It would appear so," Rosalind said.