Katherine
I'm starting to lose focus on reality. I can't separate reality from illusion.
On top of me was a man, a grown man and not a fox. And I was killing it, my hands putting on gloves of fresh blood. The growl that came out of its mouth, the thirst in its eyes and the murder in its mind. It slowly faded away and there was nothing but a dead animal, staring vacantly at me. Peter's touch felt foreigner and distant. In my illusion, he didn't exist. And so, when I looked at him, he saw the vulnerability in my eyes, the other side of me that is fragile and needs protection.
No matter how many times I scratch my hands, the invisible blood won't vanish. I almost crash against Peter. I see what bothers him and a frozen river, possibly thirty meters wide, sprends in front of us.
"Is it safe to cross?" He asks.
I take a step forward, but he grabs my arm, preventing me from walking further.
"I'm going to test it." I reassure him. I sense his arm behind me as I place my foot on the surface of the river. It feels sturdy and it can hold us both. "It is safe to cross."
Peter's feet are too heavy as we walk over the frozen river. His satchel carries the blanket and other belongings.
"Give me the blanket." I ask him. "You have too much weight on you and the ice can break under the pressure."
He doesn't hesitate and hands it to me. My satchel is nearly empty, besides the water skin and the three throwing knifes. I thread carefully, but Peter's footsteps are so loud, even on ice, that I'm afraid the ice will break and we will slip into our deaths. We halfway through the frozen river when I notice the silence around us. I glance at Peter but he isn't there. I look back and he stands still. The ice around his feets have small fissures and they will shatter into million shards.
I take a step towards him and his hand shots up. "Stop! Do not come any closer."
"Why is the ice breaking? You don't have the blanket!" I feel the pain in my chest warning me of a memory and strong emotions.
"Everything is okay, Katherine." He tries to smile, reassuringly. "Keep your eyes on mine."
I ignore him and try to find a way to bring him to my side, safely. Why don't I have ropes? We are fifteen meters away from the riverside. I can't reach it and come back in time to rescue Peter.
"Oh! Grab my bow." I inch myself closer to him and the cracking amplifies.
"Stop! You will hurt yourself!" He pleads, stretching out his arm, trying to reach the other end of the bow.
"Just grab the god-dammed bow!" I snap, not wanting to sound afraid. He doesn't need fear right now. He needs courage.
"Place it on the ice." He orders, calmly. "I'll try to reach it."
My hands tremble as I lay down the bow. He crouchs lower and the ice breaks into longer and wider fissures.
"Stop, stop, stop!"
"I have to try, Katherine." He says, reaching for the bow.
He eyes me for a moment and I know he sees the distress I am in. As he makes a move from the bow, the cracking explodes and then it's complete silence. The ice breaks and there goes Peter.
"Peter! No!" I forget about slipping too and kneel beside the large and extremely round hole he created with his body.
The water is too dark to see, but I try to find a blurred figure or any sign of his presence near the surface. I take a deep breath and sink my head in the hole, into the freezing water. It is pointless and so I emmerge. My face has been struck and it doesn't stop as the cold air meets my drenched face. The water slids down my neck and soaks up my cloak and shirt. I shiver as I stand up and look around for a shadow. I'm having ideas of diving in too, when I hear a bang!.
I look down and see a hand palmed against the ice. I immediately kneel down and call out his name, hoping he will look at me. He doesn't seem to hear my call and so I grab a knife and stab the ice repeatedly. I break the rest with my foot and quickly, before his hand disappears, dip my arm and hold on to his wrist. I make a bigger hole and pull Peter out. He is as white as snow when I lie him down far from the holes.
"Peter?"
I rest my cheek against his nose and I can't feel him breathing, yet his heart is beating, only slowly. I remembering a procedure and place my hands on his chest and press it down. I do this several times, but he isn't spitting out the water and his chest isn't moving normally. I can only think of closing his nose, parting his lips and breathing into his mouth, hoping his lungs will fill with oxygen. I do this three times and then he suddenly spams and rolls to the side to cough and spit the water out.
I sigh of relief. He lies back down and blinks before looking up at me.
"Why is your hair wet?" He asks, hoarsely.
I hold back the tears and do something unexpected. I lie my head down on his chest and fist his drenched cloak in my hands. Crying is weakness.
"You have to warm up." I say and I know he hears the tears in my voice.
"Okay." He murmurs.
I help him stand up and he sways a bit, but I put my arm around his waist and he places his right arm around my shoulders. We resume our walking to the riverside and when we step the hard and sturdy ground, I ease my hold on Peter. I notice that the ground doesn't have snow, but the highest branches are covered in it. Night is approaching and the trees begin to look like shadows in the setting sun. The ground is even, so we have to camp under the open sky.
I find a nice place to camp and help Peter sit down against a tree. I help him take off his satchel and his cloak. I place the blanket around him, hoping it will warm him before I start a fire.
"I'll go fetch some dry twigs for the fire."
"Thank you, Katherine." He smiles, tiredly, his eyes ready to close.
I nod and walk away before I do something stupid.
...
Peter
She blends in with the trees like a shadow and she disappears from my sight. The sky is already dark-blue, the light of the sunset is quickly vanishing behind me, hiding under the uneven horizon. I shed the blanket off of my shoulder and unbutton my vest. The leather is so cold, I can't warm myself up. Everytime I recall the second my head immerged the frozen water, my lungs fill with ice and it becomes hard to breath. Despite living by the shore, I never learned how to swim and the only things I could think of was to move my arms, hoping it would take up and out of the water.
I wrap the blanket around me again and lean my head back and look at the few stars in the dark sky. I could see Katherine through the crystal-clear ice and hear her, but badly, calling out my name. The desperation in her voice was heavy and, to me, it means she doesn't harbour any hateful feeling for me. She cares, she just doesn't want to show it. I have to take it slowly and wait for her to unveil her emotions and pains. If I force her, she will push me farther away.
...
Katherine
I pull the arrow out of the squirrel's body and place it in my quiver. I pick up the dead animal and fetch the twigs I collect from the ground and walk back to our camping site. I hope this squirrel is enough for us two. I know what starvation is. As for Peter, I'm oblivious. Since we left Alighter, which was this morning, he hasn't ate anything. Also, winter is approaching and the animals prepare to sleep through the season, so any food we find is good.
The woods are silent as I thread through them. The light of the moon is weak and I have to be alert to any unusual movement and I have to watch my steps or else I will fall. I reach the camping site and find Peter sleeping against the tree. I drop the twigs, place the bow and quiver by our belongings and the squirrel near them. I crouch beside Peter and place my hand on his forehead, pushing his hair gently aside. His hair is still damp but he isn't too warm.
I start a fire and find some rocks to put around the hole I digged. The small light of the fire is enough to see my hands skinnning the squirrel. I sit as far from Peter and begin skinning the animal. I hear Peter stir as I'm putting the skinned squirrel, free from any organs, through a long thin branch and placing it over the vivid fire.
I sit back down, the fire separating us, and look at him. The shadows under his eyes are too prominante and I see the tiredness in them.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm just tired." He smiles, sleeply.
"You can go sleep. There is no need for you to stay awake." I say, rotating the squirrel. "I'll wake you when the food is done."
"What is that?" He asks.
"A squirrel." I say. "I found it while I was collecting twigs for the fire."
"I will never understand how you can murder innocent animals." He is clearly mocking me, but I don't find it amusing.
"I need to eat, don't I?" I check the roasting squirrel. "The smaller ones are easier to catch."
"Is that what happened?"
"What?" He isn't making sense. He locks eyes with me and I suddenly realise the meaning behind my own words.
"Nothing happened." I stare at the flames, the yellows and oranges burning my eyes.
I hear his frustated sigh. "Eventually, you will have to tell me something."
"I will not. I don't need any help."
"If you don't want help, why did you come with me?"
"That's different. You are helping me find a better future for this country. Once everything is fine, I will go on with my life without the help of anyone." I regret my words as I see the sadness in his eyes, but I can't hide the truth. And so I don't regret my words.
Behind the fire, I stare at his eyes, gone from blue to burning gray. Those are the moments I can look at him and not seem awkward. I don't want to let him in my life, but I also don't want him to leave just yet. He brings me comfort and that is something I didn't have for a long time. I get the squirrel out of the fire and remove the thin branch. I cut the roast animal up-down and hand Peter a half, keeping the other to me. The meat doesn't have a lot of fat or flavour, but it is enough for now. Once we find a village, we will try to eat a better meal.
When I'm finished, I bury the bones to cover any trace of our stay. My hands are a bit greasy and dirt is glued to them.
"Do you want some?" I glance at Peter and he shows me his waterskin.
"Yes, please." I add so it won't sound like a favour.
I sit beside him and he drops some water in my hands. I scrube them together, washing them as good as possible. A sudden breeze flows by and I shiver. My clothes aren't proper for this weather, now that winter is upon us. A very thin linen shirt protects me from the wind, but the vest only warms my chest area.
"Are you cold?" Peter asks. "Do you want the blanket?"
"No, it's alright. Keep the blanket." I say. "You need it more than I."
"I know you are cold, Katherine. I see it." He insists.
He never misses anything, does he? Sometimes, I find it so annoying how much he cares for others, to the point that is too much to bear. By instinct I have to hate him, nonetheless he makes it harder for me to hate his kindness and solidarity. I try to hurt him with hurtful words because he hurt me too, years ago. However, it feels so wrong. A small, tiny voice inside my mind tells me I shouldn't hate him ot hurt him. I have to forget the past and accept his presence now. Yet, that is my mind talking. My heart doesn't say much. I haven't thought with my heart for a long time.
"I am cold." I answer truthfully.
He places a part of the blanket over me, covering my left side entirely. Nevertheless, I have to sit closer to him so the blanket doesn't fall. The warmth of his body is almost unbearable. Without warning, I place my hand on his forehead, checking for a fever. I feel him freeze beneath my touch and I immediately drop my hand, ashamed of such action. I constantly tell myself I will accept his presence, but never showing too much emotions. This is pushing the limit.
"We should sleep." I say, to break the awkward silence.
"We should."
He lies down, taking the blanket with him. I'm left uncovered, but before I lose my courage, I lie down next to him and rest my head on his chest, right over his heart. He covers me with the blanket and, without any space to rest his arm, he places it around me. His hand never touches me and I'm glad. I stare at the flames, hoping their dance will lull me to sleep. I must be dreaming because the flames dance and morph into a face. Coin's face. Her fiery gray eyes glow with vengeance and death. I close my eyes and wait for her to vanish, but she doesn't I reopen my eyes. Her face meanders towards me, fire trailing behind her, and the heat is so painful. Out of nowhere, a hand appears and quickly she holds on to my hand strongly. I clench my teeth, trying to endure the burning pain. I try to free my hand and I scream when it is too much to feel.
"Katherine."
I open my eyes and see the night sky filled with stars. I tilt my head back and a pair of blue eyes stares into mine. I sit up swiftly and admire my hand in the moonlight. There is no burning.
"Are you okay?"
I try to regain my breathe. I still feel the burning in my palm and her stare is imprinted in my mind. I haven't had a nightmare in a month and to have one now can only mean something is coming.
"I'm okay."
I sense his eyes on me, but I don't look at him. Right now, I have a need to flee and go back to where I was before this started.
"Kat?"
This time I glance at him. He used to call me that when we were younger and when our friendship was stronger.
"I'm alright, Peter." I try to smile but fail and it turns into a frown.
I lie back down on my side with my head on his chest and his arm envelopes me, bringing the blanket with him and protecting me from the cold. I fall alseep with his hand stroking mine.
This chapter is very long, for me! Enjoy it! And don't forget to favourite, follow and review! Your words are what keeps me going ^_^