Katherine
The name is happiness and safety. I surround myself with its warmth and stay there forever. I forget the real world and live in the warmth made up of the good things a dream can offer. I live a life full of peace and lie down in the safety, letting my body die.
I haven't called him that since we were children. It was my nickname for him and it stuck with me through the years. Until our last letter, until the last written word. When I spoke it, he knew I was going to tell him something personal. Something I didn't tell anyone. I knew he would keep the secret like his life depended on it.
Now, the name blooms again in my mind. I don't know what it means, but something tells me I should trust him. He is the only thing I have now. The only family. The only thing I love.
...
"Peeta."
"You haven't called me that since we were children." A voice echoes.
I slowly open my eyes, but immediately close them. The darkness in the room is too heavy to see through. After a few seconds, I try again and blink furiously to adjust to the poor lighting. A source of light blinds my right side and I make out the silhouette of a chest of drawers on the wall facing me. There's also a painting of a meadow hanging on the wall. A wooden chair with a shabby seat leans against the left wall and there's also the door. Finally to my right, there's a folding screen on the farthest corner and a window.
Peter leans against the wall looking outside. The moonlight paints shadows over his arms, shoulders, face and hair and his face is expressionless, yet I glimpse the worry and relief in his clear blue eyes.
"Where are we?" I ask him, my throat too dry and sore to speak out more words.
He looks at me and his eyes are a perfect mixture of dark and light.
"I told you I would find us a place to stay the night." He smiles very gently, but it disappears, quickly.
He comes closer to the bed and sit by my feet. He runs his hands through his already disheveled hair and then rests them on his knees. I stay silent, afraid he will shatter and lose his mind. I move my right arm, but a sharp pain strikes my shoulder and I can't help the moan that leaves my mouth. Peter looks up in a second.
"Please, don't move your arm." He advises in a strong but weak voice. "There's a wound on both of your shoulders and your chest."
I try the other arm and I clench my teeth when I move it. A large piece of cloth covers my chest and I feel it around my upper back, too. I also realise I'm wearing a light night-gown instead of my undergarments. A cold sweat crawls down my spine.
"Did - did you take off... my clothes?" I can't hide the embarassement in my voice.
He looks away and I think I see a little red in his cheeks.
"It had to be done." He says, looking at the wall. "You also had another wound on your stomach. Your clothes and undergarments were soaked in blood."
"What happened?" My mind is foggy and I only remember feeling afraid and an excruciating pain all over my body.
"I found you..." He finally looks at me. "I acted on a cold mind and killed the bastard who was torturing you."
He startles me when he stands up quickly. He moves around the small room and then leans against the chest of drawers. His shoulders and back are tense and rigid. He slams down his fist on the top of the chest, filling the room with the soung of fury and frustation.
"You don't know how much I wanted to kill him when I found him torturing you!" He turns around and his eyes shine like lightning. "There was a strong desire for blood. I wanted him dead, his head on the ground and every part of him turned into mush."
"And then I see you on the ground." His face softens. "You were unconscious in clothes soaked in fresh blood. I thought you were dead... I was read to do something crazy. However, I thought about it and knew I needed to get you some place warm and dry to tend to your wounds. I found this small inn. The woman didn't question me she opened the door and saw you in my arms. She gaves us this room and the rest I did myself."
"What happened to you after you disappeared?"
"We should talk about it in the morning." He says, walking to the window. "You have to rest."
"Aren't you going to sleep?" I ask, concerned. "I wasn't the only one walking for five days."
"I will go when I can't stand up." He says, staring at the night sky. "Go back to sleep."
I stare at his profile, wanting to say more, but I close my eyes and like the snap of fingers, I fall asleep.
...
An early sunrise streams through the window when I open my eyes. I try to move my body into a comfortable position and suddenly realise what happened yesterday. I clench my teeth when I put pressure on my wounded right shoulder. I throw the blankets off of me and get up from the bed with difficulty. I grab a small blanket from the end of the bed and wrap it around my shoulders. I exhale hoarsely as I walk to the folding-screen. When I'm behind it, away from prying eyes, I pull the hem of the night-gown up to see the wound on my stomach. There's also a piece of cloth around my waist, but the cloth is stained red.
"Katherine?"
I'm startled by Peter's voice and immediately let go of the night-gown.
"Here." I fumble with the blanket, trying to cover as much skin as possible, even though I'm wearing clothes. "Behind the screen."
"Are you alright?" I hear his footsteps coming closer to the folding-screen.
"I just wanted to see the wounds."
"How do they look?" He asks, after a long pause.
"I couldn't see them-" I come out of behind the folding-screen and almost collide with him. "I apologise."
His shirt is rumpled and his hair is more than disheveled. The light from the sunrise makes his eyes look brighter. He's looking at me, strangely and it frightens me, but not with fear.
"I can't stop thinking about one thing." He says, his voice deeper than usual.
"What?" My heart beats faster and I have a peculiar sensation in my stomach. He searches my eyes and takes my face in his hands, softly.
"This."
I don't understand what's happening, but I close my eyes instantly when his lips meet mine. They apply pressure on mine and I responde to them. He kisses me tenderly, his lips are warm and soft and I never want to stop kissing them. I rest my hands on his chest and stand on my tip toes, bringing my body closer to his. His hands are like feathers as they trail down my face, to my neck and finally they stay on my waist. All those times he looked at me strangely, he was conveying his feelings. Our relationship has always been more than friendship. I care for him, but I'm sure it's more than caring.
My lips follow his when he pulls away to whisper something against mine.
"I should have done this a long time ago."
I open my eyes and stare at him. Is this suppose to mean he has feelings for me since we were young? This is too much for me to handle now. I don't know how to answer to that and his words have such grandness, I don't want to destroy his hope of having something with me in a near future...
Something on his right cheek catches my eye. I touch it with my fingertips and he opens his eyes at the sudden touch. I feel them on me as I take a look at his new scar.
"How did you got this cut?" The scar isn't fully healed, which means it isn't very old.
He doesn't answer right away and I take a peek at him. His eyes are still on mine and the touch of his lips fills my mind.
"One of the queen's guards did it." He confesses.
I don't understand his words at first. However, when he doesn't elaborate, I stare at him not believing his words. Fear and rage take control of my body.
"When?" I ask. "Are you going to tell me what happened yesterday after you vanished?"
He takes a step back and drops his hands from my waist. There's a sudden coldness inside the room and I hold the blanket tighter.
"After we separated, I was brought to the queen's presence." I gasp, an icy shiver running down my body. "She asked for something, which I didn't comply to. In the end, she ordered for one her men to kill me. Yet... he only got two cuts on me before killing himself."
"We have to leave, immediately." I say, after a long awkward pause. "We need to leave, now!"
I search for my clothes, but Peter grabs my arm and stops me from losing my mind.
"We don't have to leave, because she isn't here anymore." He forces me to look at him.
"Aren't those good reasons to leave?" I remove my arm from his hold, annoyed at his calmness. The moment of peacefulness is long gone forgotten.
"She is already gone." He insists.
"You were almost killed!" I huff, tired. "Why do you want to stay here? The faster we get to Baluster, the quicker we can gather an army and defeat Coin!"
"It takes at least two months to gather an army." He sighs, frustated. "And you aren't in the best conditions to leave right now."
"They are cuts. They won't bother me, while we travel to Baluster." I reassure him, but I don't believing my own words. "I have had worse and I endured the pain."
His shoulders slack, losing their stiffness and he lets his arms fall to his sides, almost defeated. I realise what he's doing. "No more pity."
"It isn't pity, Katherine." He follows me around the room as I look for my clothes. "When you mention your past like that, I realise I could have done so many things, differently."
"Don't press the subject." I glance at him, irritated. "Forget it. I have to or I will go insane."
"It's already forgotten."
"Good."
...
Peter
I give the woman a generous amount of coins before we leave her inn. She helped me last night tending to Katherine's wounds. I am grateful for her help. Without her, I couldn't have done it. I lied to Katherine about who tended to her wounds, because I knew she would be very apprehensive of other person touching her. I had to respect Katherine's privacy even in a moment of vulnerability. Still, I did lie her down on the bed. The sight of her bloody and dirty clothes become impossible to look at. I never hated someone so much as I did the man in that moment.
The sun shines dully in the gray sky, marking ten in the morning. The few hours of sleep helped, but I still want to sleep more and wake up when the world isn't war and death. The streets are empty, save for a few shops and some men leaning agaisnt the houses, on the ground, with empty bootles and a passed out expression in their faces. I glance at Katherine. Her body looks heavy and I glimpse a shiny layer of sweat in her face as she tries to hold in the pain the wounds cause her. She is so stubborn.
"We should have stayed longer." I say, teasing her for her stubborness.
She looks up and scowls at me. "Please, don't start."
"Why don't you listen to me? You are weak and you need to rest."
"I'm not listening." I smile at her playfulness. There is a soft smile in her lips.
Those lips were mine to taste this morning. Those lips said so much in such a small period of time and there was something in the way she kissed me that gave me hope. Yet, I knew in my heart it wasn't love. It was more than friendship, but it wasn't nearly close to what I felt for her in that moment.
Near the outskirts of the village, there's a stable.
"We need a horse for the rest of the journey." I say to Katherine as we approach the man at the door.
"Please, don't make it look like I'm physically ill, Peter." She says, angrily. "I can make it to Baluster by foot."
"Katherine, if you pass out once more, I'm not carrying you all the way to Baluster." I try to make her see my point-of-view.
"Did you just imply I'm fat?"
"Of course not!" I reassure her. "I'm only stating I'm tired and my body can't take more weight."
"You are digging yourself a bigger grave." She says, looking at me, incrediously. "Please, keep your mouth shut before you say anything else."
I scratch my neck, feeling ashamed with myself. The man is polite enough to offer us one of his horses, but I insist on paying for it. We buy a very presentable dark-brown horse. I help Katherine onto the saddle because of her wounds and then I climb behind her. The man hands me the reins and I thank him once more.
We take off, slowly, so the horses' movements won't pain Katherine. The main road is surrounded by extension upon extension of wild fields or cultivated ones. However, they are all covered in white. By this time of the year, I would be inside the castle wandering the halls, searching for something to occupy my time. Maybe think about Katherine's whereabouts. It was always the only thought on my mind. I would think how she was doing, how she was handling the situation and if she was still alive...
I try to glimpse her face as I guide the horse through the road. She has gone through so much these years and still, she stand up and fights back. Yet, why didn't she come to Baluster as soon as she left Saldrian? Why did she decide to hide? Why did she decide to run? If she had come to Baluster earlier, I would have helped her in so many ways. This war would have ended sooner and there wouldn't be a need to hide and run for three years.
"I sense your eyes fixed on me, Peter." She breaks my train of thoughts. "You are making me uncomfortable."
She is looking at me sideways, one eyebrow raised and a soft red in her cheeks.
"What if I want to look at you all day?" I tease her.
"You should avoid doing such thing." She looks away.
I place my mouth by her right ear and her body shivers, unintentionally. "I can't avoid it. You are too beautiful."
She takes another look at me and her lips stand so close to mine, I want to kiss them like I did this morning. She gives me a strange look and quickly looks away. Her body goes rigid and I know I over-stepped her boundaries. I was hoping she would take compliments easier, but she still gets upset and pushes me away. I can't find it in me to apologise for the truth.
I keep my mouth shut and stare at the horizon.
I apologise for the poorly written kiss. I am not the best at describing kisses since I never went through that experience. Favourite, follow and review!