Katherine

I wake up screaming.

Soon, I realise there isn't a war happening around me. I'm safe in my room. I lie down and inhale and exhale the fear. I haven't had a nightmare this strong since I left Saldrian. Yet, instead of seeing Coin crush my heart, it's Peter being impaled by a sword and there is nothing I can do.

My throat is raspy from screaming so loud that I can barely swallow. It gets harder to breathe as the room begins to feel too small. I get out of the bed and leave the room, not giving a damn about shoes or a shawl. The hall feels narrow and endless as I walk silently through the shadows, avoiding the moonlight as it lits up the windows. The paintings on the walls seem to follow me as I pass by them. The feeling of being watched lingers when turn onto another hall. I should go back and not bother Peter with my worries and fears.

However, those three words he said yesterday made me realise I'm draining the life out of him. I let myself feel something for him, something bigger than what I feel at the moment, and the consequences will be unreversable. There won't be a cure or saving for him.

I glance behind me when a cold sensation touches my bare feet. There is only darkness and silence. I pick up my pace and don't stop until I reach his door. I raise my hand to knock, but I hesitate suddenly. I don't want him think I'm leading him on or using him from my own benefits. Looking back, I acted too differently yesterday, I don't even recognize myself.

I'm startled when the door opens. Peter looks at me, sleepily, with one hand on the door.

"I felt a presence -" He takes an unvoluntary step forth. "Is everything okay?"

I remember the nightmare once more. "Can I come in?"

He is confused with my question, but he moves away from the door and lets me through. The fireplace is lit up with burning logs, being the only source of light in the room. My arms, legs and feet are numd with cold and I quickly walk to the fireplace to warm myself. The feeling of being caged is slowly vanishing, but there is still some left in me. Peter appears on my left side to stir the logs.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He glances up at me.

"Yes."

He straightens and stares at me, evaluating my appearance.

"Nightmare?"

I look at the flames, ashamed of feeling weak.

"I will take that as a yes." His hand on my chin makes me look back at him. "You don't have hide the nightmares, Katherine. You can tell me about them."

I take his hand off of my chin. "There are certain details I can't tell you."

"Okay." His voice sound disappointed.

Daringly, I hug him. I ease his pain, but I also want to feel his protective and warm arms around me. He complies and we are so close, it doesn't feel close enough. His hands move up and down my back and I shiver, unvoluntarily.

"We should go to sleep." He whispers against my hair.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I let out the words and realise my mistake, too late.

I step away from him and cross my arms over my chest to protect myself from his eyes. His arms stand awkwardly on each side of his body as he looks me over.

"I'm afraid to answer that question with the dozen of thoughts running through my mind at the moment." He rubs his neck, nervously. "However, you can stay here tonight."

I smile, amused with his tongue-twisted words. For the past few weeks we have slept in the same space and now, he is uncomfortable and embarassed to be in the same bed as me. He places a hand on my shoulder and pushes me forth, gently. I climb into his bed and cover myself with the soft sheets and wool blankets. His heavy footsteps go around the four-post bed and the mattress sinks down as he lies down and covers himself, too.

Peter's face is painted in soft, fainted yellows and oranges from the flames. His blue eyes glow like liquid fire.

"You can sleep now." His hand finds mine under the many covers.

I close my eyes and move closer to him. We share the same pillow and I feel his breath on my forehead. I am content and safe without a care in the world.

...

A feather touch is dropped on my neck. I shiver at the sensation, but go back to sleep. Suddenly, a ticklish feeling touches my waist and I jerk at the touch. I almost fall out of the bed, but I quickly hold on to the headboard and the sheets. Peter's laugh fills the silent room. I make out his silhouette and I know he must be looking at me, laughing at my reaction.

"If I fell to the floor, you would be in big trouble." I say, my back leaning on the headboard.

"Good morning."

I hear him get out of the bed and walk around the room. A curtain is pulled back and I have to shield my eyes against the bright morning light. Peter walks back to the bed and lies down, tucking one hand under his head.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I was sleeping wonderfully until you decided to wake me up." I kick him in his hip under the sheets.

"Hey." He tries to grab my foot, but I pull my legs to my chest before he does. "I will get you for that."

"Just try and see what happens if you do." I dare him. I see the challenge in his eyes.

He catches me off guard and pulls me down by my feet. He hovers above me, full of mischief, as he tickles me, incessantly. I try to fight his hands but in vain I struggle.

"Please, stop!" I plead in between laughs and tears.

"As you wish." His hands cease and he rolls to the side, breathing a bit tiredly.

I adjust the night-gown to cover my legs as best as possible and then lie on my side, staring at Peter's profile. There is a certain sadness in me, because it is already morning. I don't want to leave the warmth the bed and Peter provide me, and I certainly don't want to face the world. I just want to spend the day here and don't worry about anything else.

"I wouldn't mind that either." Peter says and turns his head to me. I must have said that thought out loud.

"That wasn't suppose to slip from my mouth." I say, a bit embarassed.

"You should speak yout thoughts out loud more times. I enjoy hearing them." He teases.

I punch his shoulder, gently. "Auch! Sometimes you are too harsh."

"Stop teasing me."

I lean on my elbow and rest my head on my left hand. Peter's eyes shine as he looks up at me. His hand snakes under my arm and then I feel his arm around my back and the hand on my waist pulling me closer to him.

"If you want, there is nothing stopping us from staying in this bed." He says.

"I wish I could believe you." I smile, sadly. I place my free hand on his chest and he rests his over mine.

"Can you forget the outside world for a day?"

"I don't know."

There is a knock on the door. We both look at door, hoping it was only our imagination. The knock persists and Peter sighs, pulling away from me and getting out of the bed. I lie down and stare at the wooden canopy. I hear the door opening and the hushed tones in Peter's voice and the other person. Eventually, their voices can be heard and I make out what they are speaking of.

"Tell my father I will meet him as soon as possible."

"Of course, Your Highness."

The door closes and I sit up.

"My father wants to see me." Peter says as he approaches the bed and sits on the edge. "The guard looked reluctant to give any additional information. Yet, I am sure it isn't very important."

"Okay." I say, throwing the covers off of me. "Well, I should go back to my room. The maid must be wondering where I am by now."

"I'll accompany you." He says, standing up.

"It isn't necessary. You have to get ready to meet your father."

"Don't be silly. It won't take too long to accompany you." He fetchs something from under the bed.

"If you insist." I wait for him by the door as he puts on a pair of boots.

He is a strange sight in night clothes and boots. His linen shirt is rumpled and the pants look too big inside the dark-brown boots. I turn around and open the door when he is ready, but all of the sudden I'm lifted from the floor. In a moment of fear, my arms tighten around his neck.

"What are you doing?" I ask, incredulous.

"You aren't walking barefoot back to your room." He says, trying to close the door with me in his arms. "You will catch a fever if you do."

"Last night, I came to your room barefoot and I didn't catch a damn fever." I say, loudly. "And it is better than to be eyed by strangers."

"They aren't strangers." Peter rolls his eyes at me. "And besides, there isn't anyone in these halls at this hour."

As soon as we turn to the left, two maids halt their steps to stare at us.

"No one?" I shoot Peter a look.

"Good morning." He bids at the two maids.

I glance at them when we pass by them and they look astonished to see us. I bury my face in Peter's neck at the embarassement.

"I'm certain we will be the most talked matter in the castle.

"Sometimes I don't understand how you can be so oblivious."

"What?" I look at him, confused.

"Nothing." He laughs, probably waking up the whole hall.

Two halls after we are at the door of my room. The door suddenly opens and I recognize the maid's face; she also seems to recognize us.

"Good morning." Peter says, passing by her.

There are other two maids inside the room who stop their chores to look at us. I'm mortified at the spectacule I am making. I don't look at them when Peter rests my feet on a carpet.

"I'll come see you after I meet with my father." He promises.

I nod. He catches my off guard when he takes my face in his hands and kisses me full of the mouth. I gasp, but I don't have to react to the kiss. He pulls away quickly, smiling in wonder. I glance at the maids after Peter leaves. Their heads are lowered, but I see their big smiles. If Peter is trying to be the main talk of the castle, he has accomplished it.

...

There's a knock on the door right after the maids leave. I open it and a guard lowers his head in curtsy.

"His Majesty has requested your immediate presence in the throne room."

I follow him without arguing. The meeting must be important, if the king wants me to be present. On our way to the throne room, a maid passes by me and I catch the teasing smile on her face. Well, the rumours sprend quickly in the castle...

The guard ushers me inside the throne room and as I pass under the wide archway, two red-wine curtains fall down and block the hall from my eyes. The platform with the throne stands six meters from me as well as a very pensative king. The king immediately notices me and smiles in a strange way.

"Your friend is finally here." I would guess the king was being sarcastic, but he speaks earnestly.

I don't understand who he is refering to until I notice a tall person with a rough expression in front of the platform. He notices me and smiles, ironically.

"Hello, Katherine."

One thought springs into my mind.

I need to run.

...

Peter

I see the recognition in Katherine's eyes.

My father wanted to introduce me to our newest guest, but as soon as I laid my eyes on him the untrustworthy feelings returned and the memory of finding Katherine, too. He didn't acknowledge my presence, but he did eye my appearance as I walked to the right of the platform. I'm still trying to understand why he is here. He didn't say much and Katherine needed to be present for us to hear him speak about his purpose here.

The silence is heavy. Katherine exchanges glances with us three and runs out of the room without a word. I follow her outside and spot her almost at the end of the hall.

"Katherine, wait!" I run after her and stop her before she takes another step.

Her muscles are tense beneath my hands and I see the trembling in her hands.

"Why is he here?" She says, in a tense voice.

"I don't know." I say. "He was waiting for you."

"I don't want him here. I don't want to start a war." Her hands suddenly grab my vest and she holds on to the fabric.

"I can't promise you that."

Katherine calms down after some time and we go back to the throne room. Our guest, I think his name is Gale, glances at us when we enter the room, but his eyes stay more time on Katherine. She doesn't respond to his stare and stays with her head lowered until we stop in front of my father.

"Tell me why you are here." My father orders.

"I came to join your war." Gale says. He is jesting us.

"Do you understand the power of your words, young man?"

"I understand them very well." He says. "The attention is turned to Baluster and the remaining kingdoms think they can continue their peaceful lives without fear. Oh, how wrong they are! Once Baluster's throne is conquered, the real terror will begin."

"You are very optimistic." My father smiles, sadly. "Remind me again your kingdom."

"Alighter."

My father glances at Katherine and then at Gale. "How do you know Katherine?"

Gale looks at her for a moment and her expression remains neutral. "We meet when she was running away from your son."

"Be careful with what you say." I warn him.

"Don't make up lies when you don't even know what happened." Katherine says.

"I'm not lying." Gale objects. "It was easy putting the pieces together after you left. You are the one who has been lying. I'm sure you haven't told them the truth."

"That's enough." My father orders, stopping their discussion. "Young man, I will not admit disrespect to Katherine."

"She isn't a princess. She is a coward." Katherine grabs my arm before I sink my fist into Gale's face.

"Enough!" My father shouts. "If you wish to join our war, you have to respect your regents or you will spend your time here in the dungeons."

"Take him to Commander Odair and find him a position in the guard."

Two guards escort Gale out of the room. Katherine turns to my father, angrily. "Why did you accept him? He should have been sent back to Alighter!"

"Katherine, you have to understand that the more people who want to join the war, the better." He sits down on the throne, sighing from exhaustion. "The news fly fast around this country. If people want to help us defeat the queen, I will accept them with gratitude."

"He is only here to upset me!"

"You will have to deal with him on your own way. He doesn't pose a threat to me or to the kingdom." My father glances at me. "Peter will help you deal with him."

"I don't need help." Katherine says, in a cold voice. She leaves without another word.

I decide to go after her, but my father prevents me. "Let her be alone for some time. You will only upset her more."

"She will always be upset as long as he is here." I say. "She was starting to change for the better and now she has gone back to the same old habits. Perhaps, this wasn't a good idea."

"When you take my place as king, you will have to make good and bad decisions. There will be people upset by them and other who will congratulate you on them. Don't listen to them. Listen to what you think it is right." He advises.

"Even if it hurts my loved ones?"

"Everything I did always upsetted your mother." He sighs.

I think of my mother and remember her pitiful and remorseful expressions. There never was a day she didn't look at people with those expressions. She was my father's second choice, as she always said, and there wasn't much happiness in that. I was born of duty, not love.

"She wasn't a happy person." I say, solemnly.

"There are important matters I need to attend." My father tries to avoid the subject, once more.

"Of course, father."

"Don't worry about Katherine. Let time pass and then go find her." He places his hand on my shoulder in sign of encouragement and then leaves.

I stay alone by the steps of the platform watching the throne. I imagine myself sit on it and the people around me ask for guidance and favours. I'm not ready for such responsibility.

...

Katherine wasn't present for the morning meal and I have searched the entire castle for her. She is upset with what happened this morning, but now I worry where she could be and what she could be doing. The guards and maids don't know where she is. I wonder if she left the castle grounds and ventured into the village. I pass by my room to fetch a woolen cloak and go to the gardens. The sun is setting when I step outside. A icy breeze cools my face and the nightly humidity is already settling on the bushes. The gardens out-front have a very thin layer of snow, but no sign of Katherine.

The gardens behind the castle are silent with the howling of the wind. My eyes catch a shadow on the gazebo on the other side of the lake. The shadow takes form into a dark-green cloack as I walk along the lake.

"Katherine!"

The cloak moves and beneath it a profile glances at me. She quickly looks away.

"I have been looking-"

"I don't want to talk."

I walk up the two steps of the gazebo. "Are you still upset?"

"No, everything is wonderful." She looks up and her eyes are like frozen water.

"You don't need to act sarcastically." I sit on the marble bench and leave some space between us. "I told my father it wasn't a good idea, but he didn't give up on his decision."

"Gale is right." I glance at her, surprised with her words. "I'm a coward. I don't want to face the situation, because I'm scared of getting hurt again. I run and I hide, incessantly."

"You aren't a coward." I say, placing my hand over hers. "You would have died, if you didn't kill all those assassins. You faced them, fearlessly. There isn't cowardness in that."

She chuckles, humourlessly. "I have to clear those rumours about myself."

"I don't understand."

"Peter, I was sixteen when the first assassin found me. I wasn't prepared!" Her eyes are unfocused. "I was dying of fear and when I killed him, my hands and clothes were made of his blood..."

"You don't have to continue." I squeeze her hand.

She sighs exhausted and stands up. I notice something on the floor. A green ribbon.

"Isn't this the ribbon your father offered you?" I ask, picking it up.

"It is." She tries to grab it, but I catch her hand.

"Extend your wrist." She looks at me, confused. "Please."

She complies and I loop the ribbon around her wrist two times and then tie it in a small bow. The frabric falls against the curve of her wrist. This way she won't lose the ribbon and the memory of her father. She touches the bow and glances up at me.

"Thank you." She kisses me once on the lips and when she pulls away, she immediately looks down. Does this mean something?

"You don't have to thank me for anything." I say, placing my finger under a chin.

"I feel the need to." She avoids looking at my face. I understand the meaning behind her words and I let my hand fall from her face.

"You don't owe me anything. There isn't a debt to pay."

She nods, but I feel her reluctance to agree with me. We leave the gazebo now that the sun has disappeared beyond the horizon. Katherine walks ahead of me, her head raised to the starless sky and her arms crossed over her chest. There is a desire in her to leave the castle. Yet, I can't let her go, much less now that Coin has declared war on us. Katherine is brave and can handle any tempest, but I have to keep a watch on her.

I hand a maid our cloaks when we are inside the warm castle. We walk to the Great Hall where the evening meal is being served and some eyes turn our way as soon as we pass under the wide arch. My father acknowledges my presence with a nod when I sit beside him. I glance at Katherine and she is staring at someone on the far side of the room. I already have a clue at who it is. On the third table couting from the entrance is Gale eating with the other guards. His eyes are narrowed as he stares at her.

He glances at me and he looks at me with anger in his eyes. I look away, not wanting to start a fight, and begin my meal.

"How was your day, Peter?" My father asks.

"Normal as usual. Were there any news from Saldrian?" I ask, after swallowing the bit of roasted turkey.

"The purpose behind the queen's decision to attack us is different from the one we thought." He says. "She wants what is in our kingdom."

I glance to my left and Katherine is staring at her plate. The fork stabs the turkey's meat, but she doesn't eat it. I'm certain she heard the conversation or maybe she is still upset. Either way, her face is expressionless.

"Hey." I place my hand over hers. She wakes up from some deep thought to look at me. "Are you alright?"

"What?"

"Are you ill?" I trace every inch of her face, searching for unusual signs.

There's a moment of silence and then she stands up, startling the man beside her.

"Pardon me. I need a moment alone." She leaves the table and I follow her with my eyes until she leaves the Great Hall.

"Did something happen, Peter?" I look back at my father. "Perhaps you should have waited until tomorrow. She looked very shaken."

She isn't shaken. She is angry with Gale's sudden arrival and Coin's threat. She is returning to the old habits. She is hiding inside herself once more.

"Maybe."