Spoiler warning for Infinity Wars.

Idle Tears

My people went down fighting. Not one of them would yield to Thanos' men, so they were cut down in droves...Not just our soldiers, but our women and children too...They were all brave. Now there is only me left. I am alone now. I have truly lost everything.

But, Thanos, that monster, forced me to watch as he murdered Loki right in front of me. Made me watch as he crushed my brother's neck, as he squeezed out the last of Loki's life while he struggled in his grip. And then he carried Loki over to me, threw him down in front of me.

That was a mistake on Thanos' part and one which he will come to regret.

"The sun will shine on us again."

That was the last thing Loki said to me. I believe him. They're all waiting for me in the Halls of Valhalla. I will be reunited with my family and people again soon, but not before I have driven my new weapon through Thanos' heart. They'll just have to wait a little longer for the last Asgardian.

"So, dead brother, huh? That's annoying."

I was jolted out of my thoughts by the arrival of Rocket. It was little tricky to read the expressions on his furry face, but I could tell that he was sincerely concerned for my well-being.

"Yeah, well, he was always annoying, especially now he's gone." I was able to force a smile, but I couldn't prevent my voice from cracking.

"You're gonna be okay?"

"Of course," I replied. I wiped the tears from my face and as I did so was reminded of a piece of poetry Loki had once recited to me. I had never been as fond of poetry as Loki was, but now I suddenly found myself recalling lines that must have sunk into my mind somehow despite my disdain of the art. It was strange how funny I found this to be and I couldn't help but laugh at myself. "Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean."

Rocket frowned at me. "Excuse me?"

I wiped the fresh tears away and held up my now glistening fingers. "You don't need to be concerned about me, Rocket, because these...these aren't tears of despair and grief, my friend...no, no, they're tears of revenge..."

"Revenge?" Rocket sounded highly sceptical. "Okay."

"Or-or maybe they're not...Maybe they're tears of unstoppable resolve...I don't know you see...I don't where these tears are coming from...I know not where...But, I am fine. I can do this absolutely. I am good to carry on."

The racoon stared me down for a moment, but then he shrugged. "If you say so, buddy." He walked back to his chair, leaving me to my thoughts.

128 years ago...

I could see Loki in eagle form circling over head. Suddenly he dived sharply, heading straight for me. He spread his wings wide at the very last second, shooting over my head (narrowly avoiding scalping me) and landed gracefully in the corner of the roof.

I turned my back as Loki shifted back to his original form, not wishing to see him naked. That's the downside of shift-shaping – it may be more powerful than simply casting an illusion over oneself, but if you do drastically change shape then you are forced to leave your clothes behind, least you should tear them. For this very reason Loki had concealed items of clothing all over Asgard, stuffed away in various secret nooks and crannies. I wouldn't be at all surprised to know that he had also clothes stowed away all over the Nine Realms.

I waited for the soft rustle of fabric to end before turning around again.

"Is there a reason why you're in my secret place?" Loki asked, searching through the food basket I had brought with me. He held up a red and green apple but on inspecting it closely tossed it aside in favour of one that was uniformly a bright green. Loki was very fussy about what he ate, preferring only to eat foods that were of only one colour.

His "secret place" was not exactly a secret, but more of a very-hard-to-reach-place; a small and concealed part of the palace roof, hidden from those on the ground and almost impossible to reach unless you could fly or climb walls.

Loki eagerly began to munch on the apple, taking a great bite out of the side. He was always hungry after shape-shifting.

"You've been gone for a week!" I exclaimed. "Mother was worried."

For half a second Loki paused in the consumption of his apple and I knew that it meant that once again he had lost track of the time, but then he shrugged his skinny shoulders and returned to eating with a gusto.

"Heimdall knew where I was."

"That's not the point. You should say when you intend to go travelling. And you know full well that the longer you stay in an Animal Aspect the more likely you are to forget who you really are."

Loki snorted. "I am not so foolish. Besides if I asked for permission to leave Asgard then Father would always say no." He uncovered his notebook from the bottom of the chest he kept in the corner, along with a pencil and began to hastily scribble in the pages.

I watched him warily as he sat cross-legged and bare-footed on the floor with the notebook balanced on his knee, leaning close to the page. His hair was a mess and his face was caked with grime and sweat. I could hear him breathing heavily, still regaining his breath. It wasn't unusual to see him in such a state after a long flight – it took a lot of his energy to do so – but still it was quite a sight when usually he doesn't even have a hair out of place. Only himself and Heimdall would know where he had been this time. And neither were likely to share that information unless forced to.

Some say that Loki is mad. Mother says that his mind simply works too fast for him to be like anyone else, so we should all just take him as he comes. I think that he's probably a mixture of the two.

"You didn't answer my question," he said, still scribbling away. "What are you doing up here?"

"I was looking out for you, Loki. You don't normally go away for so long."

"Huh." He stood up without warning and walked over to where I had left Mijolnir. He picked it up, flipping it by the handle. Then he slowly turned it over in his hands to examine the metal. After that he sat back down and returned to his notebook.

"What are you up this time?" I asked.

"I have a bet with Fandral. He told me that it would be impossible for me to design and forge a weapon which rivals the might of Mijolnir herself. I intend to prove him wrong."

Perhaps he had been to visit the Forge. That would explain his dirtiness.

"That's quite a challenge. And how do you intend to cheat?"

Loki smirked. "I never cheat. I simply outwit people. They would call it cheating though to make themselves feel better. Anyway, Fandral told me I could take as long as I like. I have years if I have need of them."

I sighed heavily, suddenly feeling worn-out with life in general.

"Well, if anyone can do it you can."

Something in my voice made Loki look up.

"Brother?"

He put down his pencil and notebook and joined me by the parapet.

"Nothing's wrong," I insisted. "That's what is so odd. It's just been a long week, I suppose."

We stood in silence watching as the sun began to set over the citadel, drawing the night in after it, and covering the ocean, and then the forest, fields, and houses in darkness. Loki began to speak softly, reciting a poem:

"Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depths of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy autumn fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more."

He turned to face me.

"Sometimes, Thor, we just feel sad for no particular reason, or at least for a reason we cannot consciously discern. It's part of being alive. And because we are destined to live for thousands of years our sorrows pile up in our hearts and become distinguishable from one another, a black mass of half-forgotten, half-remembered offences and hurts...like ink spilt over the pages of a diary."

He was staring into the distance with a thoughtful look upon his face, as though he two were trying to remember something long forgotten. Even back then I wished I understood him better. If that was how he often felt then it was no wonder that he would he turn into an eagle and fly off for days on end.

"Sadness isn't something to be feared or avoided, Thor. It's just life. But, you should trust that no matter how long the night is, the sun will always rise again."

I squeezed his shoulder.

"You were always the wise one," I told him, patting him on the back. "But, let's go and see Mother now. She will want to tell you off."

Our tears are not idle tears. We know where they come from and we know why we cry them.

I know that as long as Fate keeps me alive I will always look back on the days that are no more.

We may have lost the battle, but the war is not lost. I will not stop until I have avenged the lost people of the universe.

Much, so much, has been taken, but still much abides. Once again I say that we will not yield to Thanos.

I hear a bird shriek overhead. An eagle searching for it's lost partner. My heart leapt when I saw it for I thought it might be Loki, late as usual. But then she turned about and swooped away into the horizon.

AN: Once again Loki is quoting Tennyson, this time from The Princess.

Infinity Wars was so hard to watch! Loki's death was very intense to witness. And I kept hoping that he would suddenly show again up to help Thor and the others. My tears are not idle!

Thank you for reading! "So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more."