Pop.
The resounding sound of a cherry flavored Tootsie Pop exiting Carol's mouth. I wonder how the woman still has all her teeth. The mother in me wants to chide her for the copious amounts of sugar she ingests in a single day but the inmate in me knows to keep my mouth shut.
"Dumb bitch nearly used all the hot water." Carol sneers slapping down a playing card "I swear I'll knock her teeth in."
"Hot water is like gold." I add
"If I'm here till I die then I deserve a good steam."
Pop. Slap.
"You know what sounds like heaven?"
"Mm"
Slurp. Pop. Slap.
"A hot bath."
A hum of agreement reverberates around our small table of hardened inmates once who, once again, are being murdered by Carol in a game of Backgammon.
"When my boys would go to bed, and Dimitri was off who knows where…" I continue wistfully "I would drawl a steaming hot bath and just soak. I swear pains I've had since my days at Lichkichov melted away.
"I can live without a soak" the large inmate who once tore my book in half added "But to just once be able to shit in silence on a can not made out of metal would be amazing."
"I grew up without running water" the asian woman to my right chimed in "I can handle the bathroom. But I would give my soul for a king-sized mattress with giant body pillows."
"Its inhumane!" I nearly shout "We're sleeping on hamburger patties and shitting on freezing tin. Soon we'll stop shiving eachother and start shiving ourselves out of madness!"
Carol lets out a snort. A large compliment coming from the stone faced lifer.
"You're crazy Reznikov. I like it." Carol says with a final slap of the card "I win. Yin. Reshuffle."
I was seven months along, lumbering about my kitchen when Ganya entered to greet me.
"You're here early" I noted tersely
"Ahead of schedule" he shrugged
I pretended to not care when he plucked a carrot from my pile of vegtables I was busy peeling. I could feel his eyes on me.
"Dimitri?" he inquired before crunching into his snack
I shrug. It was an attempt to act nonchalant but also because I stopped caring about where my husband scurried off to long ago.
"I assume he will be back soon. He is grating and dull but he is at least punctual."
I let out a snort.
"My wife is never punctual. She drags her feet."
"But is she dull?"
He looks down and our eyes meet. We hold one another's gaze. It is then Vasya gives me a hardy kick in the ribs. I let out a gasp and press a hand against my side.
"This boy is trying to kill me" I grumbled
"What makes you think its a boy?"
"If it was a girl she would be on my side."
Ganya let out a hardy laugh.
"Oh I believe he will be very much on his mother's side. He's strong. You will understand eachother better."
"You've been very interested in the baby since the start. Why? It won't come from a good family. Babies are uninteresting to men until they grow up to be men themselves."
"Human nature. I can't help but be curious about what is around me." Ganya said with a shrug before leaning in "Much like yourself. I see you hanging about, trying to listen into our meetings."
My face felt hot and I was frozen. One does not simply eavesdrop in the matters of business. Yes, they have their meetings in the open. Yes, voices carry. But if their business plans are leaked then there will be hell to pay. Wether from the enemy or from them, innocent blood will be spilt. It is not a light matter. The reason their business is held in public is a very careful tactic. On one hand, it is a symbol of how many fucks they don't give. They are having a top secret meeting in broad daylight because they KNOW you won't listen because you KNOW what they will do to you if you do. It has worked that ways for hundreds of years. That is how powerful they are. On the other hand, its a vetting process. Can we trust you to host us and not turn us over to the police or our rivals? If we can trust you with that, what else can we trust you with?
With him acknowledging he knew of my eavesdropping, he acknowledged I was not trustworthy.
"What do you think?" he asked
"What?"
"Should we expand our presence North or deepen our grips in the West?"
"Please….wait till after the baby is born to kill me. He didnt ask…."
"I didn't ask you about killings" he interjected sternly "What I want to know is if we should expand?"
The air felt as thick as stew. Vasya picked up his movements as my heart rate accelerated. I stare up at him looking for a sign. I searched desperately for what angle he was going for but he gave me nothing. He remained in place, leaning against the counter awaiting my reply. I knew If he wanted me dead then I am already dead.
If I give him what he wants I think to myself If I dance along with him, then maybe he will be amused enough to let my baby live.
He shifts growing impatient.
Dimitri doesn't even know how to change a diaper.
"Neither" I reply
"I don't sit still."
"I didn't say sit still. I just said neither."
He appeared to be taken aback and said nothing.
"How many arrests have we had in the past week? Three? Your boys are getting messy. They're bringing attention to our neighborhood."
"They are young…they are family."
"Then treat them as such! Make them want to work for you to be away from the drugs not to pay for them. Payment is not the only loyalty they need."
"So what? I coddle them? I read them bed time stories? Your mind is warped with lullibies and pacifies to even…."
"Don't be demeaning!" I spat
I squared up to him, our faces half an inch apart before I continued through a hiss.
"You wonder so desperatly where your money has gone? Why your name is weaning? It's disappearing into the noses and veins of your boys. They maybe as stupid as a goats but they still have use. Two came into this store the other day. One came in the morning to tell us to pay you Suday and then the other comes in at night to demand we pay right then. They were aimless. But both times we were terrified. We were obidient. They know what to do but they need to be a united front."
He continued to stare at me in shock.
"Shake them, Ganya!" I continue "Get them all together and shake them to their core! Weed out the weaks and make them know exactly where they stand. Shake them until there is nothing but their undying loyalty. Then go out and shake us. By then you won't have to step foot in any direction because everywhere they will feel the reverberations of what you have done."
The bell rung.
My husband's voice filled the front of the store and the laughter of Ganya's goons bounced off of the cheap linoleum. To the sound of laughter of weak men, a searing kiss was placed upon my lips.
I should have shoved Ganya away. I should have slapped him for being so forward with an unsuspecting housewife who certainly was not his. But I did nothing of the sort. In fact, I kissed him back. I reveled in the demanding yet unassuming way he molded his mouth against mine. I took absolute joy in the way his large hands braced my head, demanding my attention, my lust. Not to keen of being the third wheel , Vasya shifted once more and his bony knee alerted the gentleman pressed so close to me of his presence.
Ganya pulled away and I bit back a whine.
"Crazy woman" he murmured "but I like it."