Chapter 3 – An Deiner Seite (By your side)

Ich hab gewartet und gehofft,
dass der Moment vielleicht niemals kommt.
Dass er einfach vorübergeht.
Oder vielleicht niemals geschieht.

- An Deiner Seite - Unheilig -

[I have waited and have hoped
that the moment would perhaps never come
That it would simply pass by
Or possibly never happen]

Shadow was crouched behind some piping slightly out of sight. To ensure that the Doctor really didn't see her she had made use of a cloaking device.

She was watching River's final moments and wasn't allowed to interfere under any circumstances whatsoever.

The Doctor was talking about something to do with his name. But Shadow was concentrating on River. Establishing a telepathic link and doing her best to stabilize it.

River? When are you going to connect the plugs?

Shadow?! What are you doing here? Get out!

When are you connecting the plugs? Please…

On one. What are you…

Trust me. And I'm sorry. So, so sorry. But it's going to...

"Hush now. Spoilers." River whispered hoarsely.

And then everything happened in a flurry. River connected the plugs and every light source in the room burned out. At the same time Shadow imagined that she was grabbing River's mind and her soul and pulling it towards herself, putting it in a part of her own mind that she had previously designated.

When the emergency lights came on and Shadow could open her eyes again, it was done. She successfully had gotten River's mind in her own. And it was inducing a big headache. She would never be as proficient at Soul Catching as a pure-blooded Time Lord, but it was enough. Just.

Now she just had to get River's body. That was easier said than done.

Looking over to where it was slouched over, Shadow could see that it was badly scorched. It was hard for her and she would have preferred if there had been another way.

She had to focus. Now was not the time for self-pity. It was time for action. She would have liked the Doctor to already be somewhere else, but he was solemnly staring into space and probably not moving in the next two minutes.

Shadow stood from her hiding space. A wave of nausea and dizziness washed over her. This was going to be a pain. She made her way over to River's body, completely ignoring the Doctor.

Just as she disconnected River's body from the mainframe the Doctor noticed her.

"What are you doing there? Who are you?" He demanded.

"No one. I'm no one." Wincing slightly in pain, she hoped that he didn't get the idea to use his feet to reach for his screwdriver. The small exertion of talking and guarding her mind was very exhaustive. She concentrated on the task at hand. River's body was needed to continue with the plan.

"What are you doing there? Let her body go!" The Doctor commanded.

"She gets what she deserves. She has earned it." Shadow finally disconnected the last of the wiring. "And if you don't want to get knocked out again, I advise you to shut up."

"But what are you going to do with her?" Shadow meanwhile had River's body securely over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. "Where are you bringing her?"

She sighed, looked at him and smiled sadly. "I know who you are, but you don't know me. I know that you will know her in the future. I will also know her. And someday you will understand what the connection between you and me is. And here's a small spoiler for you: The connection is not River Song." Shadow looked away. She had to be careful. One word too much and everything she worked for was for naught. "Someday in the distant future we will meet once again and you will understand."

Looking back at the Doctor, she saw that he desperately tried to make a connection but was utterly confused. She smirked. "I'll kick your screwdriver over to you, if you behave nicely and let me leave here. Is that a deal?"

He was scrutinizing her. She tried to project pure honesty onto her face. "Alright. But you have to swear that nothing bad will happen to her."

She nodded honestly. "I swear by everything that I am."

She then prepared for an emergency teleport from The Library. And just before she teleported away, she kicked the Doctor's screwdriver over to him.

The destination for the emergency transport had been the Royal Suite in Dubai.

Carrying River into the bedroom Shadow's thoughts kept alternating between "Oh dear, I can't do this." and "She deserves this. I have to do this!"

She put the body on the bed and looked down at the mangled face of the woman she loved. A strangled sob escaped her and she brushed a stray strand of hair out of River's face.

"Focus dammit!" Shadow called herself to order.

So… I did what I could. Now, what do you need to help her regenerate? Shadow asked the Wolf.

I need a connection. A physical connection to be precise.

Alright. I'll try my best.

Shadow leaned forward and grabbed both sides of River's face firmly, just as if she wanted to read her mind. The thought that no one was home pained her a bit. This wasn't what she had wanted for River at all.

Is this enough?

Yes… And the Wolf was taking over Shadow's body, forcing her mind to shut down.

When she came to again the Wolf immediately talked to her.

You need to breathe her mind back into her body.

Shadow opened her eyes. She still stood like before, leaned over River's body. The wounds on the other woman's face had healed completely. It was like a miracle. Shadow just wanted to keep drinking in the sight.

Now! The Wolf was ordering her.

Shadow concentrated on the part of her mind that contained all of River. She visualized before her inner eye how it flowed from her into River. Then she leaned forward and let instinct guide her.

When it was finished Shadow fell back onto the floor and completely blacked out from exhaustion.

When she woke up again, Shadow felt like she was burning up inside. But she just had to go on a few more minutes, just to make sure River was doing okay.

Was there a pulse?

Yes.

Breathing?

Yes.

Any detectable wounds?

No.

Good.

All seemed well. For now.

River had regenerated. Shadow hoped that everything went alright.

She let herself fall back on a chair next to the bed and let her head drop into her hands, her vision was blurring.

Letting out a shaky breath. The searing pain inside was slowly but surely becoming unbearable. Was this what regeneration felt like?

Throwing her head back she sucked in air through gritted teeth, cursing under her breath.

Looking at her hands, she saw a golden glow emanating from them. Then she felt like she was burning up, literally.

It was just a matter of seconds, but it felt like consciously dying. When it was done, she blacked out again.

Shadow woke up again to a loud exclamation.

"Wha…?" Rubbing her head, something felt different. Everything to be precise. Just then a giddiness overcame her that she couldn't refuse. Jumping up she went and investigated the source of the noise.

In the bathroom she found the other woman inspecting herself in the mirror.

"Hey! How are you?" Shadow spoke and immediately made a face. That was definitely a new feeling. Wanting to know what was going on with herself, she went and unceremoniously bumped River away from the mirror. Looking at her reflection, she was a bit shocked.

Straight black hair with a red streak on the right side. And was that dark blue or dark green in her eyes? Squinting at the mirror she hummed.

River meanwhile found her companion quite rude. "Hey! Rude!"

Shadow looked at her puzzled. And then it dawned on her. River looked different, too. Flying over to her, she squished River's face between her hands. "Uhh, nice. You're a silver fox." She mussed through River's hair.

At that point River lost her patience. "Stop that!"

Shadow immediately let her hands drop to her sides and looked at the floor like a kicked puppy. "S'rry…" She mumbled.

River sighed. That was not the reaction she had anticipated. But she guessed regeneration being new to Shadow, she didn't quite know how to handle things.

"It's alright… just… you know…" River smiled encouragingly when Shadow looked at her again.

Shadow smiled back. And they looked at each other for a small moment, drinking in the look of the other person.

Suddenly Shadow gasped and fell to her knees. Breathing out a golden wisp. She panted in pain grasping her chest.

River was worried. Where there complications with Shadow? She didn't quite know what to do. "What's wrong? How can I help?"

"The book…" Shadow rasped.

"Which book?" River didn't quite understand what a book should have to do with the current situation.

Shadow cursed under her breath and slowly rose to her feet. Tumbling out of the bathroom she mumbled "The book in my office. Time Lord physiology."

River followed and supported Shadow.

Upon reaching the office Shadow collapsed into her office chair and pulled a thick book towards her.

"I can't read that. What is it?" River was confused. Usually she could read everything.

"You can't read Gallifreyan?" Shadow was confused. "Why can't you…? Doesn't matter. Come here." Shadow grabbed River by the shirt and bashed their heads together.

"Ow! What was that for?!" River exclaimed to no one because Shadow had passed out.

River checked for breathing and was assuaged when she found that Shadow was still alive.

Looking around her gaze fell on the book again; this time she could read it.

Picking it up and opening it she murmured "Oh, you clever girl…"

She checked it over and found an index. Reading through it she found something that she thought could be the problem.

It said something about drinking an infusion of Chinese camellias to stave off bad after effects of regeneration.

River wondered why in this book from the planet Gallifrey Chinese camellias were mentioned. To her knowledge China was a definite Earth country and while species of plant that could be classified as camellia could be found all over the universe, it was commonly only the Earthen variant that was explicitly referred to as camellia.

Or was this a translation that factored in the location?

Anyhow River had to find out what Chinese camellias were to help Shadow through whatever it was she was going through.

Rummaging through her stuff that Shadow had helpfully piled onto the nightstand in the bedroom she found her scanner. That should be able to find what she was looking for. If it were working correctly. The screen flickered ominously. It couldn't fail on her now.

Slamming it on the table a few times cleared up the flickering of the screen a bit. It probably had gotten a bit too much electricity when she had connected the plugs.

River connected and searched the internet for Chinese camellia.

Doing a double take and then a massive eyeroll she blew out a puff of air. Chinese camellia was just tea shrubs. Tea, black tea to be precise, was what she was looking for.

Walking to the kitchen and trying to find the tin with the genuine black tea from China that floated around somewhere in their cupboards, River wondered why they couldn't have just said tea. A good brew was all that's needed for helping.

She finally found the tin. Opening it, she took a deep breath from it, which made her whole body calm.

So that's what it does. River thought and filled the kettle with water. Whilst waiting for the water to boil she prepared two cups. If it could possibly help Shadow through whatever it was she was having, it couldn't be that wrong for her to also have a drink.

She continued to take a sniff of the tea in the tin every now and then before she finally finished making the tea.

Carrying one cup into Shadow's office, River wondered if this would really help. She doubted it but knew that she should trust a bit more into what was written by the race the Doctor and ultimately Shadow came from.

Upon reaching and setting the cup down on the desk, she tried to wake Shadow with mixed results. Shadow woke a bit but remained barely conscious.

"Hey, stay with me here." River grabbed the cup and let Shadow inhale a bit of the steam. "This will do you good. Just take a small sip. Come on."

Shadow breathed in the steam from the tea and gradually became a bit more conscious.

"Wha… wha… huh?" She opened her eyes a bit more.

"Drink." River held the cup for the other woman. "Slowly."

Shadow tried her best to follow what she was told but it was hard for her. She was tired. So, so tired.

Nonetheless whatever it was what River was giving her was working wonders. Her mind cleared up a bit more and her strength returned.

So much that she could raise her hands and hold the cup herself. River was relieved that it seemed to be working.

Smiling, River asked, if she could leave Shadow alone for a few moments. Shadow just nodded before she continued to drink from the cup.

After getting her own cup from the kitchen, River returned to the office and sat down on top of the desk, closely watching Shadow for signs that it was getting worse again.

When her cup was empty, Shadow put it down on the desk and leaned back in her chair, sighing.

"How do you feel?" River asked.

"Better. Tired, but better." Opening her eyes, Shadow looked at River's still unfamiliar form. The silver-grey long bob, the piercing blue eyes, how she sat on the desk. It was all new, but still somehow River. "Maybe I should have a lie down." Shadow's voice was barely above a whisper and her eyes were getting heavy again.

River finished her cup and put it next to the other. Getting off the desk, she extended her hands. "Come on. I'll help you."

Shadow was grateful. She took the hands and together they walked back to the bedroom.