Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait and thank you to all who supports this fic. I'm having a hard time picking out my writing style and this chapter will become my test experiment. You'll notice that some cuts scenes are different from others and I would like to know your opinion on what kind of writing you wanted most. Is it the less dialogue and more of reminiscence or more dialogues with less actions and mind thoughts?
Oh, and the cover photo is not mine. Sorry for the late disclaimer.
"Ugh, what a pain in the ass." Mordred cringes to the sound of two strangers fighting for something incomprehensible, and did her best to block the sound they are producing. And instead, she cranes her neck to see the unfair passenger of hers with concern.
"I hope you're well Hakuno…" she silently whispers to her lover, kissing the brown haired slightly for comfort. Quickly checking herself and the wreckage at every direction, she no doubt stares at the hole their crash creates above and expresses her skepticism for being alive by making no expressions at all.
'We should be lifeless by now if we plummet down in that high altitude.' she indicates on her slow processing brain, while she finds her condition rather horrid and ugly. With difficulty in breathing and moving her left arm more than an inch, Mordred endures her sudden heroism for her girl in any ways possible, even though that kind of unplanned actions made Hakuno unconscious with a 'slight' concussion.
"Damn my nonexistent breast." Mordred complained, completely recalling how Hakuno's head collided on her torso, before the girl gave chase to her dreams. While she mused on her incredible bluff and endurance to survive the tormenting incident, she was broken in her trance by the orange haired girl, picking her lover with care.
"I presume you're not here to bombard Chaldea's Base?" the innocent girl honestly asks, prompting Mordred to grind her teeth in exhaustion, but due to her defeated look, Mordred replied anyways out of gratitude.
"No, I'm not. And even if I will, my pride wouldn't let me complete it if I'm seen like this."
"Fufufu~ alright, I trust you. But we can't be too sure, aren't we? Besides, we need to clear any doubts before we misunderstood each other, since you made a grand entrance with your friend."
"Grand or not, it hurts like shit." Mordred tsked, surveying how the girl treats Hakuno. When she sees it as satisfactory, she gave a small breathe of relief.
"I'm Gudako by the way, and that's my bro, Gudao. Try not to jostle yourself though, that landing must be painful."
"You don't have to rub it in my face." Mordred grins at the girl- Gudako, and not a second passes, a black haired boy- Gudao is it?, approaches Mordred and held down his hand. "Are you okay?"
"Dude, do I look okay?" She tiredly smirks, but she gratefully grabs ahold of the offered hand and shakily stands up, albeit cranky.
"Well, you look fine to me." The boy chuckles, supporting her left side and grabbing ahold of her stubborn arm when-
"Holy…. Crap." He unceremoniously cussed out. Mordred snickers at his unpainted expression, knowing exactly what made him flash like a fish out of the water. "Like what you see?" she asks the boy.
"You un- freaking- believably demolish the roof till this floor so much I can see the sky this far down." The boy soullessly states, keeping his mouth from dropping low than it used to be. Greatly curious, Gudako herself step closer to them and glances at what drains her brother so low. And as Mordred predicted, she gawk in the most laughable expression Mordred can see from the two strangers. Breaking out of her thought, Gudako looks at the smirking blonde, then from the girl in her arms and back to Mordred again.
"Seriously!? How aren't you two dead yet!?"
"Believe me, I'm thinking about 'that' myself." Mordred nods her head, before she averts her eyes at the sky and hisses her disapproval to her battered body. "…Though I did not escape death unscratched."
"You should be more grateful that's all you got," Gudao pipe in, dragging Mordred out of the rubble. "It looks like your bless by the Gods. You only broke your left shoulder which I keep flicking and see no reactions that you can feel anything. You also have broken ribs if your breathing proves to be spot-on."
"And what makes you say she's blessed bro? Those injuries can be fatal." Gudako deadpanned, walking next to her brother in the silent hallway.
"What I'm saying is she's lucky to break something other than her spine. Her back accurately takes all the force and by some miracle it is still intact. You're lucky, the world sure loves you." Gudao laughs, creating a slight frown that became visible in Mordred's eyebrows as she looks ahead.
"We're not so loved, if that's what you said. Those damn Homos…." She pouts and grumbles, cursing the heaven above much to the sibling's amusement, but they decide to leave it be nonetheless.
And time went on wistfully, the comfortable muteness pauses as multiple footsteps swift and quick quakes the ground they are in, sending the two helpers to stumble to each other.
"Can't you forget something more important than this, little sis?" Gudao sighs in surrender, daring to ruffle his sister's hair harshly with succession.
"Hey, at least I'm with you so we can share the blame in half, big bro." Gudako guffaws, lightly gathering Mordred's attention by stepping closer to the blonde while still talking to her brother. "Aaand you should probably cover her face, Gudao. I don't want to answer questions that we can't even correctly respond to."
Mordred, perturbed and out of the loop discerns a small questioning sound before Gudao throws his coat in her head which covers her appearance, an apologetic smile gracing his face.
"We'll tell you later but for now, let us handle this, okay?" He politely commanded, like a leader demonstrating his skills to his members. And Mordred carelessly shrug her good shoulder, it's not like she have a choice.
Besides, her decision turns to be valuable when twenty handsome and beautiful people surround them in concern. And Mordred could only think of a single question.
'Did Hakuno and I disrupt a fashion show or are they just in a cosplay shit?' Nevertheless, she can't voice out her senseless inquiry once blackness overcomes her consciousness.
She's floating, that is what she knows as a calming presence of water vanquishes her fear and hides the shred tears of her own eyes.
She had done it, conquer the impossible and survive until the end. She have whisper her wish to the Holy Grail, help her friend Rin escape, and end all the suffering of Humanity on Earth. And now, she will finally be erased, eliminated from the history without any clue that she exist. And yet….
'Why? Why am I…. so lonely?' she inquires, looking from the luminous water to her deteriorating limbs, like a data of clustered One and Zeroes. Nevertheless, it was nothing to the pain wrenching and sorrowful feeling deep within her chest like everything is slowly and surely being demolished. Her journey, her moments, her love, her feelings and most of all, her recollections of her Servant that steadily disintegrates.
She could not figure out which is which anymore. The Holy Grail makes her see not only the world, but the other possibilities, the other 'Hakuno Kishinami's' fighting in another Grail, in another war with a Servant so authoritative and majestic. Hakuno saw a tan white haired man garb in red and black clothes, carrying 'her' bridal style in a green arena. She also saw a blonde haired swordswoman on revealing red clothes confessing her love to 'her' in a familiar corridor. She is currently seeing a fox woman petting 'her' in a Japanese room like a wife to her husband would ….. And at last, she sees 'herself' next to a golden king, like a queen in visage of war.
She should have felt something. Anything to the flying data presented in her vision. Love. Compassion. Camaraderie.
Yet nothing.
For Hakuno felt the pull into different track, a different path and a different route unpresented in her eyes.
For Hakuno, they are not her Servant.
They are not her dear companion.
They are not her protector.
They are not her savior.
And most of all…
They are not her lover. And this saddens her greatly, as more and more memories vanish one by one. She cried alone in a vast sea, weakly reaching out to the stubborn digital rays above. She's reaching out to nothingness, grasping the untouchable, searching for her Servant so that she can express her farewell with conviction-
"Seriously, is there any chance that you won't look so pathetic and pitiful while I'm not around?" a voice appears and a figure dives in the Eye of the Moon, clasping Hakuno's disappearing hands and those forlorn green eyes strikes Hakuno with recognition, guiding her to tears as she hugs the figure, never minding the bold clothes. She cried to her heart's content. She cried with every ounce of emotions left in her system, and the blonde let her willingly, kissing Hakuno's forehead in comfort.
"I'm sorry!... I—I'm so sorry!" Hakuno apologized for forgetting. She asks for forgiveness for not remembering and…. "I- I'm sorry! I'm sorry I can't remember you! I'm sorry, please don't leave me!... P- Please, I- I'm sorry….don't leave me alone!" ….Hakuno apologizes for being selfish amidst the time of loneliness, foreboding weak as a chick in the glacier of data, never letting go of the blonde for fear of dying alone.
"… I see. Don't fret then, for I have no reason to refuse- let alone oblique your order from now on. This time, this time for sure I'll…. No…" the blonde shakes her head vigorously, maintaining eye contact with Hakuno, while the loneliness grew into those eyes. Hakuno bits back her whimpers, but failed as her guilt overcomes her strength to pull everything together. "This time, I want to be by your side…. Not because I'm your Servant… but because I'm Mordred. Not the Bastard Son, not the Knight of Treachery and absolutely not the Berserk Saber everyone's calling me in S.E.R.A.P.H."
"M- Mordred." Hakuno hiccups, nuzzling the blonde figure named Mordred and kissing her shoulder for the last embrace. "Un… Now I… knew what I forgotten. Your name is… Mordred."
"Gah!? I confess my devotion and what you solely recall is my name!? Jeez, Hakuno! Even from here you're still that dumb and klutz of a Master…" Mordred grumbles, before cupping Hakuno's face with such passion, wearing the loveliest smile. "Even though you never change that much, I'll protect you from the Holy Grail itself, just so you wait."
Hakuno sobs and carve a dazzling rare smile for Mordred alone, the rarest kind that can stop the rotation of the world and vanquish all hatred within someone's heart. For Hakuno, her smiles are the door of her love to the person that can gaze upon it, and like a message delivered to God, Mordred accepts the invitation and draw their face closer, like a King presented with the most precious gift on Earth.
Hakuno let her be, let the Knight take her wherever she pleases, for she knows the blonde is the One. The person she longed for and the moon to her sky.
"Mine." Modred muttered, earning a soft giggle from Hakuno. The blonde bring their lips together, creating a spark of union, tasting and feeling those luscious flesh into her own, and connecting their souls like there's no tomorrow.
It is factual- the time scarcity-, Hakuno could not know if she could even have a full 'minute' in the Eye. Nonetheless, her Servant makes it looks longer, overpassing the limitation of disintegration out of desperation to see each other again. And when they pull apart, Hakuno identifies what will occur and thus, she conveys her long awaited message with intensity, gathering the Servant's undivided attention.
"Mordred?"
"…Hm?" the blonde gently replied, as if she too, knew what is afterwards once she hides her eyes in her adorable bangs. Feelings wavering without the green calm, Hakuno part the golden tresses and behold the watery emerald gems to solidify her resolves…And just like that…..
"Thank you, Mordred for everything and…. if we only have time, I will continue my praises for you… but Fate is cruel… so cruel, that what I can only say is… I love you."
Bid her farewell.
-STATIC!_
And she- the girl with brown hair was no more than a doll. Commemorations, deleted common sense and natural knowledge extinguished like a wild fire. Replace not only just a doll, but a dying soul within the cosmic plane in the eyes of the blonde. And as if the string of their love was cut horribly, Mordred's tears flow like a dam. She screams with all her heart and remaining sanity, hugging the doll closer as the sobs rock her body in convulsion. She cries longer than she mourns Camelot. She shouts for the return of the girl than her love and anger to her Father. She cries like a King does in a burial of his loveable Queen, ignoring any decorum and kingly persona to express the heart's agony.
Mordred's mind cracks in the uncontrollable force of Hakuno's deletion and feels the ranging emotions Berserker harbors like a might of Armageddon. "YOU DUMMY, WHY!? YOU DIDN'T LET ME RESPOND TO YOU! YOU DIDN'T-! YOU-! HAKUNO!" She cried in the Eye of the Moon, praying for those who can hear, whispering a request she have no right to voice, but she did so anyway. Just so she can see her again. The Hakuno Kishinami who accepts the most despicable person with all her heart.
"Please, anyone hear me out…. The Holy Grail, regard my suffering! If Servant's can wish, please…. Give this girl in my arms a chance to live! Gave us a life we are denied to! Grant me a chance to say 'I love you too'!" she wails, uncomprehending that she too, is being eliminated due to the succession of the 'Granted Wish'...
But like a sun, the Eye silently heeds her call and the water submerging them glows like Elysian Fields, consuming them both with its vastness.
"Please.." Mordred brings their faces closer, closing her eyes in a silent prayer.
'Grant me my wish.'
And grants it, The Eye of the Moon did.
"Tamamo! Keep your distance! Give her some ounce of space will you?"
"I'm so sorry Gudako- sama~ this won't be long! I just have to really, really make sure of something!~"
For Hakuno, waking up is a blessing itself. Seeing the world anew and presented with a grandiose view of her lover next to her in bed which protectively holds her amidst the hour of stillness warms her heart. Mornings are Hakuno's favorite hour, where she watched the sun rays touch her girlfriend's tresses and baby- like skin. This was also the time where she can openly express who she is by cooking, preparing their daily morning baths and doing household choirs like a wife will do before her husband wakes up.
"W-wait, Nero! Misbehaving Tamamo is enough! Please don't make this any harder for me!"
"Umu, at ease Praetor. I shall not bother a maiden in her wonderful sleep. Such nuisance to perfect one's beauty is a sin, though you shan't be nervous with what I am doing. Tis action needs to satisfy my curiosity."
But unfortunately, this is not morning nor did she see the habitual event unfolding next to her bed. What greets Hakuno was beyond she can comprehend, as two pairs of eyes- one green and one yellow- blocks her vision so close in proximity it unnerves her and throws out her personal space and privacy.
"….." Casually blinking her surprise, Hakuno place her dormant hand between her face and the excited glowing eyes and slowly, very slowly push the offenders with little resistance. With those eyes out and about, Hakuno surveys her area and gradually looks at the white hospital bed she is on, before she flick her gaze to the two offenders standing attentive and thoughtfully skimming her form.
'Odd, they look familiar.' Hakuno summarized, awkwardly place in a space where everywhere she looks seems to be out of order and quite strange. Add to that the absence of her comfort and the three strangers in the room with her. Well, she's uncomfortable with the two offenders except the orange- haired girl apologetically standing at her side of bed. "Hello, stranger. I hope these ladies didn't disrupt your sleep which I suspect?" she warmly asks, pointing to the two breast- blessed women.
"….. Not really." Hakuno speaks so softly the three strangers bated their own breathes, as a blush colors their faces. She ignores the uncommon reaction and re- examines what her vision can reach. "…Where?" she added, prompting the pink haired woman- is that jackal ears?- to bounce and swing her tail side to side which Hakuno clearly gazes emptily, following the movement silently.
"Mikon~! We are in Chaldea's Security Organization Restoration Room! Or known in common human's language as the Infirmary, a place for those who was wounded in battles!" she disturbingly yelled in such cheerful attitude, Hakuno consciously pull the sheets covering her body into her face, hiding her none the wiser hollow expression.
"...I see. Thank you for the information." She bowed and almost turn her back to the excitable woman, when the blonde girl which looks so similar to her lover steps in her personal space again, holding her chin delicately like a rose in a Garden of Eden.
"Strange?…" the blonde whispers close enough she can feel the other's breathe unto her cheek.
"Oi oi, Nero what are you doing!?" the gentle stranger gasped in astonishment.
Hakuno inevitably pushes and tries to avoid the intense gaze of such beauty, but soon she grasps the truth behind such intention as her body shapely molds with the blonde stranger. "….Umu, I can feel mine bond within thee, deeper than Praetor would assume to garner mine love. Answer me, aren't you not my Empress?" the blonde asked in a confused solemn manner, chaining Hakuno to her embrace much to the brown haired girl's embarrassment. Even though she likes to respond to the question, the jackal eared woman fumed in annoyance and decides to smother Hakuno's behind too, glaring at the blonde.
"Ara,~ Making her yours now, aren't you harlot~?" she remarks, almost comically distinguishing the yearning into those green eyes in a matter of seconds and cross gazes with the fox, much to the brown haired girl's relief between them.
"What blasphemy are you implying, dog?"
"Should I spell it out for you, hag?"
"Aren't we too brash, simpleton?"
"Can't you get me out?" Hakuno pleads the orange haired girl to the side, ticking impatiently like a bomb about ready to explode. Hearing the hollow pleads of the poor girl between to fighting women, the orange- haired girl replied with a simple grin in advance…
"SABER~? CASTER~?" so she can warn Hakuno about a dark entity looming behind the ticked 'Master's' back, stopping the little squabble with just a snap of her fingers. The two women looks at each other, then to Hakuno and to the scary figure and repeat again before they actually release the girl on the bed and disappear out of Hakuno's eyes like a spark.
Long uncomfortable silence passed and no person talk for a while- Hakuno in a state of shock and the other, collecting her thoughts amidst the indisputable stressful day.
"….Where is she?" At last, Hakuno spoke, hugging herself to pull her thoughts together, the panic inside slowly sipping into the surface, and she could only sit there and pretend to be cold.
"Ah, your friend?" the lone stranger laughs, patting her shoulder in assurance. "Due to some… circumstances, she's replace in a Private Room. Don't worry though, I promise my brother if you woke up, I'll take you to her in as soon as you're available."
"…Thank you." Hakuno gave a small smile and simply threads her hands into the blanket, oblivious to the glowing cheeks of the orange haired individual.
Having enough of dramas in such a few hours, the white uniformed girl clears her throat… "Well, why don't we start explaining to you what happened for a while?".. and bashfully scratch her neck childishly, offering an explanation which Hakuno agreed with a simple 'Yes, please.'
Ending the little performance thru a boring ending.
From the raid, infirmary, meeting a stranger doctor, to the moments Hakuno was brought back to her in no time, Mordred could not catch a break to just fit everything into her brain, resulting for her mind to shut down. Her night takes that sweet turn into a whole round of roller coaster when Gudao told her about the dangers humanity are in with a voice so serious and experts- like, Mordred made no comments to break the absurd story telling.
Moreover, it does not end to that since Gudao has a lot of work to do connected to their sudden 'entrance' and will continue their conversation in another time, after they rebuilt the Chaldea in complete shape.
But unluckily, this is not the reason she is in a foul mood, and instead, she glide over her hands unto the air and pats the head soundlessly sleeping next to her bed.
"Fuck the world." Mordred grumbles, lying in a white satin sheet as she ponders her actions regarding her and Hakuno's sudden incidents.
There is an anonymous person that says there is 'a line between stupidity and naivety' where the foreboding desires, needs and wants of a human being depends. While stupidity makes a person do certain things even if they know what is good or bad, naivety is doing an action where they act according to their decision without any knowledge what they are doing is what may be called right or wrong.
Other contradicting words are 'selfishness versus selflessness', 'love versus hatred' and 'pleasure versus pain'. These are the words that part human's route into another, like a butterfly effect trigger that leads them into possibilities or ends unique and away from others. These triggers are often chosen according to a person's nature, like multiple choices which commonly contains letter 'A'- for the former, 'B'- for the latter, and 'C'- is for neither. Humans create a division in this scenario, always choosing 'A' and 'B' to which it is fitted in their wants and needs, while the 'C' is the second options always being considered if the two letters were to failed, creating an illusion or false dichotomy- a fallacy that you can only choose an answer in the given choices.
However, there's still humans who roam the earth who thinks outside the box and break the rules of humanity itself, like Mordred Pendragon.
If Mordred is given a choice between the contradicting words above, and elaborate it in a scenario, while giving her the multiple choices of ABC, then her answer is… 'D.'
It's understandable, as multiple choices of ABC are commonly containing those three letters after all. 'Common are for losers, unusual are for cunnings.' Mordred will mock it with her words as 'D' signifies both Yes or No and Either or Neither but for all she cares, 'D' represents all of the above. She has no regrets though, because her beliefs are almost next to nonexistent when it comes to Hakuno's safety.
As the present world continue its rotation, so thus the contradicting words appearing deep within Mordred's mind into the present time. She knew she's selfish- hugging all the pain to herself while they descend upon the roof, but that selfishness lay naked atop being selfless- as that closed up the truth that she takes all the damage for the pleasure of not seeing her beloved girl hurt. She knew she hated Hakuno for being such an idiot, daydreaming in amidst of a life and death situation, but she love her as much as that hate can resumes, if not even it ranks higher priority than her own life. Yet reality breaks it all, and the truth was still unheard until this moment.
Because for all the things that Mordred sacrifices, it is….. "Not enough." She gritted her teeth, moist clearly glistening in the corner of her eyes as she looks at Hakuno, sleeping next to her in a seat that looks uncomfortable.
Hakuno is in good shape, both mentally and physically but Mordred can see the visible swell and scratches in her beloved's face like some sort of a curse and blame herself to the unpredictable. A scratch is something but a tiny damage lay upon the skin, yet for Mordred- everything that can ruin the beauty of her lover is a sin worth accusing herself with.
The cuts and violet blemishes can heal, and so thus the self- pity she's enduring. However, she knew- truly damning knew she can't protect Hakuno at all times.
She can't keep Hakuno away from this Dangerous World if what Gudao told her about the extinction of humanity is true.
She can't hide anything to Hakuno without picking any fight that they vowed to not go into.
She can't tell lies to Hakuno without being discovered by some reckless statement out of the blue.
And…. "I can't prevent you for looking into someone new." She whispers in the night, clenching the sheets as she recall what Hakuno tells her about what a woman named Nero done. She should be more understanding and clever, but it did not lessen the jealousy she is feeling, grinding her head like a shovel to the grave. "If only I can be a better lover for you."
"….You can't." came a short response, sending Mordred into a rigid state- eyes wide and shock as she stares at a pair of doe eyes hypnotizing her own creation. Then, Hakuno slides into her sitting position to straddle her on the bed, Hakuno's brown hair tickling her face and sending a jolting heat in her system.
"You can't be better than anyone."
'Well, aren't you completely and painfully honest?' Mordred internally debated, closing her eyes to forget about the haunting feeling of Hakuno leaving her in place of another.
But what comes next into Hakuno's mouth gave all the chase to her doubts, as her girl leans down and connect their lips in a loving manner, eliminating all negative thoughts…
In place is the love bonded by FATE from the PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE.
"You can't be better than anyone, because you're the only one."