I'd Come For You
I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground
But it doesn't matter cause I've made it up forgive me now
Every day I spend away my soul's inside out
Gotta be some way that I can make it up to you now, somehow
- I'd Come For You - Nickelback -
River slammed the doors shut behind her.
"Why did you save me?" The only thing that came from her was a question that carried more meaning than on first glance.
"Because you're worth it." Shadow didn't look up from her work. "And because I love you. And I will always love you, no matter what body I'll be in."
"But you sacrificed yourself for me. You gave your life for me. I was ready to die."
"You think it's that easy?" Looking up, a mirthless laugh escaped Shadow. "My sacrifice was an act of pure selfishness. I just couldn't imagine my life without you. Even the thought opened a giant excruciatingly painful hole in my soul."
"But you said..." River was at a loss for words. "You said maybe it'd be better, if we break things off between us. You made it sound as if you just don't care about me anymore."
"I will always care about you. You are my only weakness. But I didn't want you to stay with me out of a sense of false duty. I wanted you to stay with me because you still cared about me."
"Oh, Shad...you absolutely blind idiot!" River purposefully marched in front of the desk Shadow was sitting behind and slammed both her hands onto its surface. "I. Love. You. You idiot. Of course I care about you. Why wouldn't I?"
Shadow fixed her gaze on the desktop and swallowed heavily. "Regeneration changes things." She whispered hoarsely. "And you didn't give the impression that you still felt the same…"
River looked at Shadow for long moments, contemplating what could possibly convince the woman on the other side of the table that nothing had changed when it came to the sincerity of the feelings for her. In the end, River decided that actions speak louder than words and she unceremoniously grabbed the front of Shadow's shirt and pulled her up so that they were face to face with each other.
"Maybe this'll convince you." River whispered and pulled Shadow into a searing hot kiss. At first Shadow was too stunned to react, but it all came rushing back to her and she kissed River back with a fervor.
So, one kiss led to two and from there things escalated quickly.
"Your desk is still uncomfortable." River mumbled into the crook of Shadow's neck.
"I know." Shadow chuckled, her lean body quivering. "But that's why I got this sofa. Isn't it comfy?"
"Very." River smiled mischievously.
Shadow closed her eyes and breathed contently. River laid on top of her and listened to Shadow's heartbeats. Du-du-du-dup, du-du-du-dup, du-du-du-dup. Her thoughts calmed to the slow rhythm of the beats. She also finally noticed the lower body temperature. But she found that she didn't mind it one bit. It was more like it had always been there, though she knew that it hadn't been. The longer she laid there, the more comfortable she became with Shadow's new body. She was deeply relaxed, but she needed to shake herself out of it, for they had issues that needed resolving.
"I think I made a slight blunder." River breathed.
"How?" Shadow grew a little worried.
"I kind of let it slip to your assistant that you're my wife." River grimaced. "So, I guess this is my resignation now?"
"You don't have to, if you don't want to. I'm already finalizing my departure from my position. So…"
River pushed herself up, looking Shadow in the eyes. "You really don't want to work here anymore?"
Shadow in turn propped herself up on her elbows. "No. Too much paperwork. I hate all that paperwork. And I really couldn't take it, if something like the Library happened to us again."
River's face clouded over, she got up and grabbed her clothes, getting dressed.
Shadow turned onto her side, watching.
"Wh- I-" Shadow wanted to say something but nothing coherent came out.
River had finished dressing. She looked at Shadow with a serious face. "Get dressed. We have a lot to talk about."
Shadow grimaced but got dressed anyway. She recognized that they had a lot of issues to work through and running away wouldn't cut it this time.
They settled down at Shadow's desk.
"What are your plans for the future?" River started.
"I have no clear plans." Shadow smiled. "I just know that I wanna travel. And I…" She sighed. "I wanna do that with you."
River smiled an honest smile. "I would like that. Very much. I just don't know if I could take it if you ran again because everything got too much for you."
Shadow looked at her desk ashamedly. "I'm sorry. It just…"
"Next time, just ask me instead of running. We are in this together. We've been in this for over 200 years now. You should know that I will not give up on you that easily. And you shouldn't either. If I could suffer your father at his worst, then this is something to look forward to."
Shadow had a hopeful glint in her eyes. "Yeah?"
"Yes." River nodded.
"I'll try to be a bit more communicative when I start to get doubts again."
"I'd appreciate that. Thank you." They smiled at each other for a while.
"You know, I really like that you see me as your wife, but I must say that really just because of those accidental times… I don't…" Shadow shook her head. "What I'm trying to say is that when I'm gonna marry you, it's gonna be with all the pomp and circumstance that goes with it. Mind you, not for me, but because you deserve it."
River furrowed her brows. "Did you just propose to me?"
"Maybe. No… Yes." Shadow desperately hoped that she did say the right thing.
"Stop it or you'll make me cry." River blushed furiously. "But yes, I would accept. I would like to marry you with all the pomp and circumstance."
"Now that that's taken care of… I wouldn't worry about telling my assistant. There is a pool on us around." Shadow said.
"Oh, really now? But this wouldn't solve their problems."
"How do you mean?"
"Assuming they bet on when we got together, they now would only know that you and I are married. Implying a prior date when we got together." River pondered. "Should we tell them that we were always together and see who is the smartest of them?"
"I'm tempted. But I'll probably decide on the fly when I give my resignation speech."
"Do you have someone to take over already?" River wondered.
"Safihyah. She's smart and I hope she'll keep the Judoon and Ogrons in check." Shadow looked at the small pile of files in her desk. "But all that has to wait until I finish with these. I want a clean break here. Or as clean as possible at least."
River thought back to her own pile of files. "I was about to say so. I really don't want to leave my successor with my unfinished work."
"Do you have a successor in mind?" Shadow realized that she didn't know much about how River had structured her department. Or the people working there for that matter. She had given River free reign with that, mainly because she trusted her to make it a functioning wing of the Proclamation. That was the main reason she had asked River to join back then.
"Krithikesh. He's my assistant. Keeps things running smoothly when I'm not around." River noticed how Shadow didn't quite know what was what in the history department. "Don't worry. He's absolutely qualified for the position or else I wouldn't even have him touch the teapot."
"Good to see that you have your priorities straight." Shadow laughed. "So… what do you think how much time we'll need to finalize things here?"
"Three weeks tops. I really want to be rid of all this paperwork." River ran her hand through her hair.
"You really like it as much as I do? But we really should not take longer than that. I want to finally travel again. See the universe. Directly be involved again." Shadow happily said.
"That's the plan. I really miss that. And with you by my side? The universe won't stand a chance."
They had been hard at work to prepare for their departure.
River had never imagined that her paperwork had piled up that long. And would require so many long nights.
Those were a lot more tolerable since they worked together in Shadow's office whenever possible. After they had decided that they would both depart from the Proclamation they had been open about their relationship.
River had occasionally been asked by a few brave souls when they had gotten together but all she supplied as an answer was a cryptic smile and an "You'll find out soon enough." Shadow and her had decided that for a last act, they'd tell them the truth. And of course, spot the ones that had been smart enough to bet on "Always." They didn't think it would be that many.
So, it came to pass that they gathered everyone in the hangar for Shadow's parting speech. Sitting up on the makeshift stage, River and Shadow didn't expect that many people to actually show up because they had left attendance as a voluntary act. But now that everyone was filing into the hangar and getting a place, they realized that they had been heads of a massive operation that was actually very successful at doing what it was doing. Hundreds of people were coming in, sometimes just two or three at a time and then a whole department with twenty or thirty people all at once. It was a little bit intimidating.
When River risked a glance over at Shadow, she could see that the other woman was thinking just that and actually got nervous for once. River put her hand on Shadow's clasped hands. Shadow's eyes snapped over to River's and she smiled gratefully.
"Don't worry. I'll be right here." River whispered.
Shadow smiled a genuine smile. "Thank you." Shadow squeezed River's hand.
They looked out over the crowd that had gathered. Quiet chatter could be heard that slowly died down. Shadow took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Let's get this over with." She whispered to herself and got up.
Stepping up to the lectern, the whole room fell silent immediately. All eyes fixed on Shadow and everyone waited with baited breaths for whatever it was that she had to say.
River watched her, totally transfixed with Shadow's aura. She had already heard the speech that Shadow was giving now in its many stages several times. Shadow was the only thing she had eyes for. The imperceptible moves and twitches that Shadow did when she got unsure or nervous and the drawing back of her shoulders when she was sure of herself and proud of something.
It amazed River how easy it had been to fall into some kind of routine with Shadow again after their regeneration. She thought that it would take longer but apparently as soon as they got themselves sorted out, they found their rhythm and danced to the beat of their hearts again.
River was ripped out of her contemplation when Shadow appeared in front of her and grasped her hand, pulling her out of her chair and to the front of the stage.
"What are you…?" She was confused. That was not something that they had spoken about. She didn't do speeches or such.
Shadow addressed the gathered. "I know most of you are here only for one thing and one thing only. And yes, whilst I can't, or rather couldn't, condone betting on such a large scale, I, or better said we, will finally resolve the question burning on all your minds." Shadow quickly smiled at River. It was the one grin that showed mirth and enjoyment above everything. "How long Professor Song and I have been together."
The tension in the room was palpable. Shadow let them hang in the unknown for a few seconds, basking in the power she held. And then she released all in a few words.
"Forever. We've known each other long before the Shadow Proclamation even existed."
"Yes! Now pay up!" One voice rang out, resulting in a whole wave of groans rolling through the mass.
"You there! You that was right! Step up, come to the front, please." Shadow addressed them directly.
A woman with possibly the smuggest of expressions on their face walked up to the stage.
River did a doubletake. She had seen that face before somewhere.
"We have met before, have we not?" River asked that woman.
"Indeed, we have." Shadow looked between River and the woman.
"Okaaay… anyway, what was it you said how long we had a relationship?" Shadow wanted to know. Now more than ever.
"I put my money on very long before Professor Song worked here. And no one believed me." The woman was leaning in conspiringly. "But I had an advantage. You know, Professor, I'm a bit disappointed that you don't recognize me anymore."
River looked puzzled and inspected the woman closely. "I know you from…" She closed her eyes thinking hard. "Stormcage." Opening her eyes, River looked a bit impressed. "You had the cell next to mine."
"And I watched your first meeting. You both were so inexperienced back then. But when they brought you back in it was so romantic, if I might say so. But I still don't get what that golden light was." The woman explained. "I'm Thea, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, Thea. It was not romantic; and it is something more powerful than all of us together. So, please, whenever you see or hear 'Bad Wolf' somewhere, get away from there faster than you can run." Shadow explained snappily, which in turn earned her an elbow to the ribs from River.
"What she was trying to say was that the circumstances were quite the opposite. But I have to agree with her on the 'Bad Wolf' thing. Whenever it appears…" River paused for a moment. "Run. Just run."
Shadow looked at River and River looked back. Their eyes met for a moment.
We should do just that. Shadow thought at River.
Let's run then. River answered telepathically. And they both grinned at each other mischievously.
"Now, Thea." Shadow shortly raised her eyebrows at her. "Don't spend all in one place and don't let them catch you."
Shaking back her sleeve, Shadow revealed her Vortex Manipulator and held her arm out for River. River promptly put her hand on it. "See you around." And Shadow initiated the teleport.