Log 8
Date: 6TH OCT 2186
Location: WELCOME, WASHINGTON, USA
After our escape from Vancouver we headed south in our shuttle towards what was formerly the USA. Our plan was to assess the progress of the invasion along the rest of the Western Seaboard. Once our scouting was done we'd agreed to rendezvous with the rest of the ships that escaped in the ruins of Seattle. We hoped the Reaper presence would be minimal in a city they'd already destroyed.
That was the plan but unfortunately we hadn't counted on the Reapers having flying units (other than the Reapers themselves obviously but we'd figured a giant death machine would be easy to see coming). We were doing our best to recuperate from the horrors of Vancouver when the shuttle suddenly swerved violently to the right. Everyone on board was thrown from their seats with one medic who had been crouching over a patient getting his head smashed against the wall. Annoyed I dragged myself to my feet and staggered towards the cockpit.
"What the hell's going on? We've got wounded back here in case you've forgotten."
"Sorry sir. Had to take evasive maneuvers to avoid hitting- Actually I don't know what the hell it was."
"Where is it now?"
"Above us somewhere, can't say where exactly our scanning systems are being jammed."
"That pretty much confirms it's the enemy," I muttered looking up. For a moment I saw a dark shape in the sky but as the shuttle banked again it vanished from view.
"Are we in trouble?"
The pilot shook his head.
"Not yet. Kinetic barriers should keep it bay-"
His eyes widened and he rechecked the display he was reading twice before speaking again. Something was definitely wrong.
"Kinetic barriers non functional!"
"Excuse me?"
"I don't understand it sir, they looked fine on take off."
"It's an old ship," I muttered but with considerable unease. The Armadillo 290's were certainly prone to malfunctions but I'd never seen something like this before. There was another crash, much bigger than before, this time I knew we'd been hit.
"They've ripped off two of our thrusters, we can't outrun it now!"
There was panic rising in the pilot's voice. As I looked at his face for the first time I realized just how young he really was (probably no older than nineteen) and that he was absolutely terrified. His fight or flight reflect had kicked in but right now he couldn't see any alternative than fleeing.
"Pilot! I need you to focus, concentrate on the sound of my voice. We need to find some cover, are you able to land this thing?"
He calmed down slightly although it was clear it wouldn't take much more to break him entirely.
"I'll do my bes-" He was cut off by a second collision that knocked us all sideways.
"Negative we've just lost a third thruster. Get everybody out right now! Just grab the parachutes and go!"
With no time to think I grabbed a pack and jumped. Some of the others managed to follow my lead but for several of them (including the pilot) time simply ran out. I saw a shadow pass over me and then the shuttle simply disappeared from view. As we fell I scanned the skies for our attacker but I couldn't spot anything. Frustrated I opened my chute and began the final drift toward the ground.
Unfortunately Daniels had other ideas and hadn't had much skydiving practice (which might explain his twisted ankle when I found him for the first time). He crashed into me as we descended, sending us both spinning wildly out of control. Luckily we weren't too high up by that point but it bad enough as it was. I was knocked into a nearby tree and my chute got caught in the branches stopping me dead. The sudden arrest of momentum swung me round and I hit the trunk hard, pain flaring through my arm as it took the brunt of it. I was left dangling in the tree, not close enough to anything to be able to get myself out of it. I'd had worse landings in my time but this was not the best time to be stuck.
In the distance I could now see what had happened to our attacker. It had hit our shuttle and ended up being pulled down with it. I could see it furiously thrashing around inside the wreckage. Then with the sound of rending metal it ripped away a large chunk of the hull and forced its way out giving me my first look at this new horror.
My first thought was that it was shaped like some sort of mechanical bird or bat. It was massive though, far bigger than any abomination I'd seen the Reapers throw at us so far even the Brutes. At a guess I'd say it had a five meter wingspan and was about six meters long from its elongated neck to the tip of its tail. But most concerning of all was its head, complete with mounted canons, turning to face my way.
If anyone ever reads this all I think I can advise you about facing death is that its not a thing you can ever get used to. It can come at strange and even unexpected moments. Some firefights you can laugh off easily while other moments will haunt you forever. But the one thing it always does is force you to reflect, sooner or later. Thinking back, I realize how badly the loss of Vancouver affected me. It might seem strange, to speak with almost surprise at how a tragedy like that affected you but it's more than just the loss. I've faced loss before, every soldier has, and while you always feel the pain, there is something more at play here, something I only now begin to recognize.
I'm afraid. Afraid of not being able to make a difference, afraid of making bad calls and getting more people killed. The Reapers set up Vancouver as a trap, allowing us to build up a resistance only so we'd be gathered in one place, all the easier to finish off. We can't afford to forget how intelligent the Reapers are again. We, I, allowed their overwhelming strength to blind me to the fact that this enemy is just as cunning as it is powerful. They won't just destroy us, they'll do it in the most efficient way possible, a brutal calculus of death.
As an experienced leader I know I can't share these doubts with anyone else. My duty is to show strength, to clearly believe in victory so that those that follow me will be inspired. Normally my dedication to duty, to responsibility keeps any doubts at bay but I know this is the big one. The greatest threat we'll ever face in our lifetime and I can't help that it gets to me.
Projecting strength in the face of all this carnage is damn near impossible. I know what I need to do, the person I need to be to win this but privately I am dragged down by thoughts that I am deluding myself. That imaging I can defeat a race that has killed so many is nothing more than blind arrogance but there is no other choice. I guess I'll have to draw strength from my new surroundings, this place that is-.
Huh, going back to old habits again there, I cut off midway through the action again. If anyone does stumble across this silly old journal of mine I do apologize, I can't help but get distracted sometimes.
So there I was hanging from a tree by my parachute, unable to move and with a fractured arm from where I hit the tree. In front of me a Reaper death machine about to rain artillery fire down on me. I've gotten out of a lot of scrapes through sheer luck but this time I have to thank the skill of my rescuer Major Coats. He was in one of the shuttles that had left before us and had decided to double back and join our planned scouting mission. Not exactly in line with my orders but I couldn't help remembering a certain Admiral who, having been promoted further than he liked, ended up deciding he'd rather fight the good fight. He arrived in time to see what was going on, with no weapons on the ship he did the only thing he could do. Ordering all his men to jump ship he set a collision course before bailing out himself. His ship hurtled into the scene catching the creature at the right angle to smash its head against the ground. Getting caught between a rock and a hard place would probably have been less destructive by comparison.
After getting me out of the tree (In an undignified incident that I see no reason to describe here) he introduced himself and said he'd scouted a small village two klicks south of our position which would be a good place to hold up in.
When we arrived I was (I still am) astonished at how little affect the war has had on this place so far. There was no power here now, everything had been cut off before news of the invasion had reached them. They'd seen smoke rising from the city in the distance and that was all. They weren't stupid, far from it. They knew something massive was going on but they'd become cut off. It's worrying how quickly, how efficiently the Reapers have been able to isolate people. With no electricity thanks to the Reapers they had no means of contacting the outside world. Of course they could have sent people out to investigate and did but no one had yet returned.
When we filled them in on all that had happened they were dignified in their response and generous in their offers of help for us. You could even say that they were very Welcoming (My little joke based on the village being called "Welcome". Not a great joke but it raised a few groans from the squad). I know that every man in our squad was given a warm meal and a place to sleep for the night. I'm staying with the Stevensons, a family that runs the local convenience store. They took in myself, Daniels and Coats and welcomed us into their home. I've always been a city boy (having been born in London) when I stayed planetside at all, which isn't often. I've lived on distant planets, ships and space stations (I have a really nice apartment on the Citadel) but I can't help being charmed by this place and its people.
I stayed up late with the lads, Jeff Stevenson and his son and a very nice bottle of whiskey (we had lots of sorrows to drown afterall). For awhile we discussed everything we had let them know about on our arrival. I'm sure it was a lot to take in.
"So what do they actually want then, these Reapers?" asked Jeff.
"You really don't want to know, just trust me we need to stop them, somehow."
Then Daniels piped up with
"But what did they want from you, that one you called Harbinger seemed very interested in you."
"It's hard to say exactly, I-"
"You actually spoke to a Reaper? Who is Harbinger anyway? Is he like an important one?" I held up a hand to stem the flow of questions from Will not that I disapproved in the least. In many ways he reminded me of Jason when he was about that age (around 16 I'd guess). It wasn't just the physical similarities, the dark skin or the intricate patterns shaved into his short hair, it was the look he got in his eye when talking about a topic that excited him. My son still gets that same look to this day when he's talking about a new design he's come up with.
"Hold up, I can't answer everything at once. We think Harbinger might be the leader of the Reapers, well that was Shepard's impression of it anyway."
"Commander Shepard spoke to him too?"
I chuckled a little despite myself at that, it wasn't hard to see who his role model was. Given his accomplishments it was hardly surprising the kid idolized Shepard but I wondered how the Commander would react if he knew. Then the kid said something that surprised me; it's true that sometimes the truth comes out of the mouth of babes.
"I know loads about you and Shepard. We did a project about Specter candidates at school." He was saying.
Well it was true I'd once been considered for the Specters just like Commander Shepard but unlike him I'd failed, Saren saw to that.
"You were a candidate for the Spectres, sir?" Asked Major Coats in surprise.
"A long time ago, yes," my eyes widened as I realized the implications.
"That's what it was talking about."
"Sir?"
"Harbinger, it mentioned that I failed to become a Specter."
"I'm sure that wasn't your fault."
"What I mean is Harbinger talked about wanting to know what made Shepard different from me. It said that Shepard had succeeded where I had failed and it wanted to know why."
"Like a baseline comparison?" Asked Daniels.
"Why not? Shepard has been involved in the death of two Reapers so far and he defeated the Collectors. Logically speaking they'd want to know what makes him so special."
"And they've decided that him being a Specter is the answer?" Asked Coats skeptically.
"The first Human Spectre don't forget and the only one in the Galaxy, that makes him unique. A machine might interpret that as being 'special'" mused Daniels.
"Then we'll have to find a way to turn this... Reaper obsession to our advantage in some way. We need every edge we can get over them."
"Maybe," I said. "But I think we're still missing a major piece of the puzzle here. I'm sure the Reapers could learn what happened without my help if that was all they wanted. There must more to it but I've no idea what Harbinger's endgame is."
"Surely its the same as the rest of the Reapers. Wiping us out like you said," Daniels pointed out.
"Harbinger feels different to the others somehow, more aggressive. It takes over hosts so that it can attack us directly, no other Reaper does that on a whim."
Silence fell for several minutes as we all thought about our current overlord.
"What did happen to stop you becoming a Spectre anyway?" Asked Will.
"I was never able to find that out."
"I'm sure the Admiral doesn't want to discuss it," said Jeff sternly.
I raised a hand to calm him slightly.
"No I don't mind talking about it. It all came down to a mission at an eezo refinery with another Spectre, Saren Arterius. He was supposedly there to assess my aptitude as a candidate but instead he sabotaged it."
"What did he do?"
"Basically? He destroyed the refinery, I've never seen anyone more brutal or ruthless than he was that day, except for the Reapers of course. Afterwards he claimed I had forced his hand by alerting the guards,. He'd always had an anti-human agenda, it was just his way of holding humanity back."
"Well Harbinger won't learn much then," said the Major. "There was nothing you could've done. Just pure luck Shepard got the job and not you."
"Was it?" I asked (mostly to myself). "Shepard's mission went south too, the objective was destroyed, the Spectre sent to observe him killed. Another disaster with the same cause, Saren. But the Commander never gave up, he inspired others to follow him and eventually proved that Saren had turned traitor. Maybe that's what makes Shepard unique, he never stops fighting for the mission."
The others didn't have an answer for that but we talked for a little while longer before everyone else headed off to bed. After that I went out onto the porch where I'm sitting now. It's quiet out here and dark. With no power there's no artificial light, no streetlamps or houses lit up around me. It feels so peaceful here, so good to just sit down, feel the breeze.
When I look up I can see the stars again for the first time since before all this began. It still reminds me of my first mission, seeing space like this, it takes me back to a time when the galaxy was an infinite mystery. I was there in the time when we first discovered an alien species, there's something about that that's never really left me. A sense of endless wonder, when we were just taking our first steps and everything was still waiting to be discovered.
We never quite expected that the Reapers might be part of that mystery, but it always seems to be that way. When we discovered aliens for the first time we ended up at war with them. Now we've discovered a bigger secret and a greater threat. Apparently you can't have one without the other.
Speaking of threats, someone in the Vancouver base sent a transmission to the Reapers. They must be indoctrinated and that means they're going to betray us again, assuming its not one of those killed in the attack. It could only have been someone with access to the Command Center operations during the attack: The General and his staff, the Colonel, Daniels and technically Burges and myself through the link Daniels set up (but I hope I can discount myself as a suspect!). Oh and possibly Xi Chan might've had the hacking skills needed to access the system (or some other hacker I never even met). Too many suspects, no real way to narrow down the list. I can't even rule out the ones killed in the attack (who knows if the Reapers even care enough to spare one of their indoctrinated servants).
I feel my doubts dragging me down again, being here has helped but this peace is an illusion and the war is dragging me back. If you're reading this from the future my advise is this: these moments are precious, don't waste them but don't expect them to last. Draw strength from them and then get back to the fight, if you fail all of this will be destroyed.