Chapter 15

School Hard

Giles is a warm hearted man in a cold hearted job. A Watcher descended of Watchers, disgusted by the whole affair, he rebelled in his youth. He wears his duty like a mask that doesn't quite fit. His true self glimpsed beneath it, here and there.

But as he sits in the living room tending to Violets wounds, it is like the mask has become him. You watch from the kitchen, looking for a hint of the man who showed you what a father should be. Could have been. Wasn't. But you don't see that man now.

"You should have been more careful. What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, I just thought…"

Tonight, Violet had seven shades beaten out of her by a couple of fledglings. Let herself be baited by a vamp playing victim. Rookie mistake. She got them, but paid heavily.

"If you had bloody thought, you wouldn't have walked right in, you stupid girl!"

"Giles." you say, limping in on your stick. "She gets it. Okay. She gets it."

He spins to meet you, tears his glasses aside. You meet his furious glare, square off against him as best as your broken body can. Something about your face these days unsettles him. Maybe it's the scars. Maybe it's in your eyes. Maybe you remind him of her.

Violet is sobbing.

"Go for a walk." You say. He nods, a hint of shame perhaps. He doesn't look at Violet.

"I think it best we skip morning training. Go home and get some sleep." He says as he stands in the doorway. He closes the door hard behind him.

Violet looks up at you with red eyes and purple bruises. But she needs something you cannot give. Never seen how. Maybe on TV. Aw heck.

"Look. He's being an asshole. But he's right. Maybe if I listened to my asshole Watcher I wouldn't look like this." You say. And he would be less dead. Violet looks like you have punched her, so you fumble onwards. "Fact is, you can't trust nobody. Keep your guard up. Watch your back. You stick your heart on your sleeve and some demon is gonna take a bite out of it, and that's just the fact red."

She nods. Here endeth the lesson.

But…

"I think he's scared." You say, slumping down onto the sofa next to her. "I mean, he is still being an asshole about it, but I guess he's scared of losing you like he lost Kennedy. Me too, I guess. He's hard on you because he has to be. None of us want to bury you."

"What was she like?" Violet says quietly. Ain't that a question? Just thinking of your months together, the rise and fall of your relationship, how you let her down. Who she saved and how she saved them. Dark brown eyes and a perfect brow. Her pining after a girl not so dissimilar to Violet. Lost in a vampiric tome, making notes in chicken scratch.

"A hero." Your smile is warm. "Just like you will be when we're finished with ya."

Violet was staying at the nearby motel. Giles just couldn't bring himself to empty Kennedy's room. She is still everywhere. It is like she haunts the house, but Violet is the ghost.

Today was the day.

Sunnydale had it's happy oblivious face on full bore and everything looked like some kind of California dream. Students where dicking around, chatting, doing what regular teens do. Giles pulled into his reserved spot, fetched your crutches from the boot and walked around to help you out of the car.

"Are you certain you are ready for this."

"It's highschool, not The Master's lair." you say. Maybe a low blow, but one for the both of you. Noone dared go down into that darkness. Violet was not ready. You had a lot more healing to do. Whatever The Queen was doing down there... you shudder.

"Any dizziness, any pains, come see-"

"I got this Giles. Go shush some students or whatever it is you Librarians do."

To be honest, you were not ready. This morning, you convinced yourself it was just you having cabin fever. Then you blamed it on April's incessant questions about life (which you yourself had thrown her into), but you knew just being there was making you ache to be anywhere but. Kennedy's room sat like Pandora's Box across from yours.

Sunnydale High meant distraction. A fantasy of the girl you thought you were becoming, growing in to. Just for a moment, before reality pruned your growth back with razor fingers.

And of course Buffy was in there, somewhere.

"Faith!" Amy cried out, rushing to you. "oooh... Give me a guide here, how hard can I hug? Can I hug? I need to hug!"

"Just avoid the bits with bone and skin and we should be good. Hey Oz."

Oz nods his greeting. He knows now. Amy confessed on the phone to you that she told him everything, and Oz being Oz had merely said "huh that explains quite a lot actually", and that was that.

It seems that life on the road with Dingoes has shaped Amy anew. Her hair is dyed black, run through with purple and blue streaks. Her clothing way more punk. Oz's leather cuff on her wrist now joined with ones of her own, friendship bands and something witchy with bird skulls. She wore a pentagram shirt unironically.

"Looking good Maddison" you say, tugging at her hair playfully. "Gonna work hard to please her Oz, or I may have to steal her away from ya."

You notice students looking at you and muttering.

"So" you say "whaddya think of my new scars? Going for the badass action hero look." You say. Hell, may as well slay the undead elephant in the room.

"I hear that is in this season" Oz says.

"But you adhering to the 'still breathing' trend? Good look on you, Lehane." Amy smiles.

"It's a classic for a reason." Oz says.

Oh. The cheerleaders are out on the field, practicing and chatting excitedly. Cordelia spots you and says something you cannot make out. They all turn and look at you. An image flits into your mind, just for a moment, so many yellow eyes snapping up to look at you.

from the cheerleaders, one girl steps forward hesitantly. Of course it is Buffy Summers.

"Hey Maddison, help me get my bag into my locker willya?" You say.

She nods, understanding all too well. And you turn around and head back.

An hour later you are sitting crying in a toilet stall. Crutches awkwardly across your lap. The painkillers are good, but they don't kill all types of pain. Well, not in the doses Giles gives you.

A tap at the door.

"Faith?" Says Buffy, softly. "You in there?"

You want to hold your breath until she goes away. Lie. Anything. An image of that little girl hiding in a cupboard. Biting on your sleeve to stay quiet. Your father roaring. Of doors slamming and shelving up ended.

Buffy knocks again.

"Faith?"

Hand trembling, you flip the latch.

"Oh Faith." She sighs. Pulling the door shut behind her. You don't care that your wounds complain, her arms feel warm and something close to safe.