SUMMER
July
Sansa kept waiting for Margaery to bring up the events at the bar but she never said anything. They went back to work at the coffeehouse with things seeming to be as normal as ever despite the fact that Sansa's face burned for what felt like hours the next morning when she saw her. Perhaps Margaery didn't remember the things Sansa said or maybe she just didn't find it to be as big of a deal as Sansa. Whatever the reason was, Sansa wasn't sure if she was grateful or upset that they had yet to talk about what had happened, or rather, hadn't happened.
As the days passed Sansa stopped waiting for Margaery to say something to her as they worked beside each other and her breath came a little easier. She was now on the back half of her resolution and from this side six more months seemed like nothing to get through. She had already made it through six months after all, so she already knew that it was possible and that she could make it through another six. Sansa knew that she should bring up the dancing with Margaery but since the other girl seemed content not to say anything Sansa supposed that she might as well just follow her lead.
The heat of summer arrived in full force as July wore on. Sansa couldn't even go outside without feeling like she was choking on the humidity. She found that she was even more grateful than she thought she would be that all her classes were online. Now she could do her coursework from the comfortable air-conditioning of her apartment or the library. She'd even taken to bringing her course materials with her to work when she worked days and doing work at the coffeehouse after her shift. She told herself that this way she didn't have to walk home in the highest heat of the day. That it had everything to do with her health and nothing to do with the fact that Margaery was working on the later shift schedule this summer and that was the only time Sansa really got to see her.
To Sansa's surprise she was still receiving flowers in the tip jar. She had assumed that her admirer would have stopped their efforts by now or at least left for the summer. But her assumptions were proved to be false and still the flowers came. Now that she knew they had meaning Sansa found herself googling the meaning of the flowers she was receiving every time she was left a new one. Margaery had been right, they all meant some form of admiration or friendship. She was also left a pink aster flower which, according to google, meant patience and love. The love part threw Sansa for a moment but she figured whoever had left the flower had only focused on the patience meaning. And that part was certainly accurate. Whoever was leaving the flowers for her had been doing it for months now and had never even approached her. Sansa couldn't help but feel silly that she still didn't know who was leaving them for her but at the same time she wondered why no one had come forward yet to claim them. Surely, they had waited long enough.
With her courses, work, the flowers, and waiting for Margaery to bring up the events at the bar Sansa felt like she was having a very full summer. She had also made a promise to herself to go to something new every week. She had a bit more free time during the summer than she did in the school year so she figured that she might as well utilize some of it. Places were a bit more crowded because it was tourist season but Sansa still managed to spend a whole day in the museum of Westeros history. The hall on the history of religion had kept her captivated for hours.
Sansa found as time passed that the best way to stop herself from wondering why Margaery had yet to say anything and to prevent herself from going down the wormhole of the fact that Sansa wasn't even dating so why did it matter was to keep herself busy. Her knitting project was getting out of control. She had already made scarves for all of her family members for gifts and now she was making them for friends as well. She knew that she could learn to make something other than scarves but she felt like she struggled enough with that as it was. There were baskets full of yarn littered around most her apartment and scarves draped over several surfaces. Sansa found she was pretty grateful that she rarely had visitors these days.
As summer wore on Sansa stopped wondering when Margaery was going to bring up the dancing. She assumed that she must have been reading things wrong this whole time, Margaery had never been interested in her as more than a friend. All this worrying she had been doing about asking her out or what she would do if Margaery asked her out had been pointless. The girl had never even been interested in her as more than a friend in the first place. Sansa felt a little embarrassed by the fact that she had told Margaery she wanted to kiss her and she found she was suddenly grateful for Margaery's good grace to not bring it up.
The good thing about Margaery not being interested in her meant that Sansa could make it through these last six months of not dating with a breeze. Once Sansa had gotten past her initial burst of freaking out over being single Margaery had been the only person she had even been remotely interested in. Knowing that she didn't have a chance even if she was dating Sansa knew that she could make it through these last six months without a problem. Hell, she might not even start dating after her resolution was over anyway. She felt like she was coming a long way with this no dating thing, she might just keep it up for a while. The next time she dated someone Sansa was going to be much pickier. She felt like she had a better sense of what she wanted in a partner now and what she wanted from herself in a relationship. She was done with jumping from one bad relationship to another. The next time she dated someone Sansa wanted it to be because she got butterflies around the other person and because they made her laugh and could hold a real conversation. She was done being in relationships with people she only sort of liked just because she didn't want to be single.
Sansa found she even kind of liked being single, it was a relief to not have to have her free time spent wasting away doing whatever someone else wanted to do. Maybe Margaery not liking her was a blessing in disguise, maybe Sansa wouldn't even date again until she was done with school. With her GPA she was well on track to graduating valedictorian, there was no reason to jeopardize that with a relationship.
Sansa was well on her way to convincing herself not to bother with dating ever again. No one had ever said that she handled rejection well. She was working on a pro/con list of not dating one night when a loud knock on her door drew her from her thoughts. Sansa sighed and headed towards the door with a pang of irritation, the knock had made her lose her train of thought and she had just come up with a really good pro. She hadn't been expecting company but she found she wasn't all that surprised when she opened the door and Arya barreled past her with a huff.
"I am way too involved in your love life!" Arya cried out before she fell with a sigh onto the window seat.
Sansa cocked her head to the side as Arya glared at her. "What are you talking about?" She asked curiously. As far as Sansa knew Arya hadn't been involved with any part of her nonexistent love life since she had accompanied Margaery and her to the Rose Festival. She found that she was suddenly grateful she had shut her notebook before she had opened the door. She really did not want to have a conversation about that right now.
"Margaery called me today." Arya huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at Sansa like she had put Margaery up to it. Honestly, Sansa was more surprised that Margaery had saved Arya's number after the festival than she was that she had called her.
"Why?" Sansa asked when it became clear Arya was not going to continue speaking without provocation. It still surprised Sansa how someone who claimed to hate drama could be so dramatic at times.
"To ask me if you were dating anyone, or at all, right now." Arya said with a raised eyebrow. Clearly she thought Sansa was somehow at fault for this intrusion into her busy summer of, well actually Sansa didn't really know what Arya was up to at the moment.
Sansa sat down on the couch heavily, she felt like her legs had all but given out on her. Why would Margaery call Arya to ask those things if she wasn't even interested in her? They'd had a moment on the dance floor and Sansa had thought that was the end of it, that Margaery wasn't interested in her as anything but a friend but was she wrong? There was no reason for Margaery to ask Arya what she did if she only wanted to be Sansa's friend. And Sansa had never said anything to Margaery about not dating at the moment, the only people she had told beside Arya was her other coworkers. If Margaery knew that that meant that they had been talking about her. What else had Sansa said that could have made it back to Margaery?
She was so focused on this that it took Arya angrily clearing her throat for Sansa to come back to the present. "What did you tell her?" She asked curiously, her heart beating in her throat. Arya had a record of telling people about her resolution after all. Sansa crossed her fingers under her thighs in the hopes that this time Arya had known to keep her mouth shut.
"I told her to ask you that herself." Arya said like it was a no brainer.
Sansa let out a sigh of relief at that. She really had thought Arya might have told Margaery everything. Judging by the look Arya gave her Sansa had a feeling she knew what she had been thinking. "Thank you." Sansa said leaning her head back against the couch as her mind whirled. Was she wrong again? Did Margaery have feelings for her after all? This whole thing with Margaery was leaving her dizzy and with a strange unpleasant feeling like she was back in high school.
"Remind me again how I got involved with all of this?" Arya asked as she kicked off her sneakers. Apparently, she was planning on staying for a while.
"Because you're the best sister ever." Sansa said without thinking. There was a brief pause as the words sunk into both of them. It seemed it was not lost on either of them that that was the first time in their lives either of them had said anything remotely of that nature.
"Yeah, well, that's true." Arya finally said as she shoved her hair back out of her face, resolutely not looking in Sansa's direction. She had never been very good at handling her family complimenting her.
The unexpected moment of closeness made Sansa feel like she could finally ask the question that had been burning in her mind for a month. Besides, Arya was distracted which was usually the best time to ask her personal questions. "Speaking of love lives, when are you going to tell me about this boy of yours?"
Arya glared at her and grabbed one of the pillows on the sill beside her, clearly stoking up on ammo to throw at Sansa if the conversation went on much further. Sansa held up her hands in mock defense. Like Arya had said, she was incredibly involved with Sansa's love life. Sansa just wanted to know a little bit about hers. They had grown so much closer over the last six months and Sansa just wanted that closeness to be felt on both sides.
"You know you can come to me about anything right?" Sansa said, her voice suddenly softer like Arya was a stray animal she was trying to coax out of a corner. When it came to Arya Sansa often felt like she was lacking on her big sister duties. Bran and Rickon would come to her with relationship questions (usually after Jon or Robb or Gods forbid Theon had steered them wrong and Sansa was mainly on damage control) but as far as Sansa knew Arya never came to anyone for advice. Sansa had been in that position before and she knew all too well how overwhelming it could feel. She didn't want that for anybody.
Arya shifted uncomfortably, pulling the pillow into her lap. For once she didn't even roll her eyes at Sansa's attempts to get her to confide in her. They were making all kinds of progress these days. "Yeah, I know."
There was a brief pause as Sansa waited with baited breath for Arya to continue. Her sister took to examining her fingernails with great scrutiny and Sansa let out a long-suffering sigh. She supposed she would just have to wait for Arya to come to her when she was ready but Sansa really wanted to be the one giving advice for once instead of getting it. "You're still not going to tell me anything are you?"
"Nope."
XxX
Knowing that Margaery had gone to her sister to get inside information on her love life Sansa found that she was suddenly unsure of how to act around her. Somehow this was even worse than thinking she only wanted to be her friend. Knowing she might have a chance and still being unable to take it was leaving Sansa very confused on how to talk or act around Margaery. She kept reminding herself to just be herself but that was easier said than done when right now her self was a very confused mess.
Not only was she a very confused mess but as July came to a close she was a very hot mess. Literally hot. A heatwave had crested over Westeros sending several cities into record breaking temperatures. The walk home from work made Sansa feel like she was going to melt into a puddle of goo on the pavement. The heat didn't even break at night, the darkness stopped bringing cooler temperatures it just meant that it was harder for people to see your sweat.
To make matters worse the heat caused the overworked air-conditioner at the coffeehouse to give up one day. It coughed out its last burst of cold air before letting out a large metallic groan that even Sansa's untrained mechanical ears knew was not a good sign. Alayaya let out a string of colorful curse words that made Sansa glad the only customers in the shop at the time were longtime regulars who had heard her say far worse things before. It was the one shift a week Margaery and Sansa still had together and they both watched in silent hope as Alayaya fiddled with the thermostat. The air had been off for only a few minutes and already the heat from outside was creeping inside. Sansa could feel beads of sweat forming at the nape of her neck.
After a few minutes of fidgeting and cussing Alayaya let out a long sigh. "The old girl is finally gone."
Sansa let out a groan of disappointment as Margaery made a cross over her heart and sighed. The customers were already fidgeting at the raise in temperature and several of them were packing up their belongings. Alayaya pulled her phone out of her pocket and pressed the speed dial for the technician who made bi-weekly trips to check on the air conditioner during the summer. Margaery beckoned for Sansa to start closing down the machines.
"There's no way were staying open in this heat without air." Margaery told her as she began to shut of the equipment.
Sure enough she was right. Alayaya got off the phone a few minutes later and apologized to the few remaining customers, shooing them out the door so that she could lock the door and flip the closed signs. She sighed in relief as she noticed them closing everything down and wiping the counters.
"Finish up as quick as you can girls. It's only going to get hotter." Alayaya sighed, pushing her hair back off her face.
"Do you think they can fix it?" Sansa asked hopefully. Her shirt was already beginning to stick between her shoulder blades.
"Doubtful. This thing is older than I am." Alayaya patted the thermostat fondly even as sweat dripped down the bridge of her nose. "You can leave once you're done closing up. I'll let you know whether we'll be open tomorrow or not."
They finished their closing duties in what Sansa felt was record breaking time. The unrelenting heat of the shop was even worse than that of outside for there was not even the slightest hint of a breeze to cool them down. By the time they were bidding goodbyes and good lucks to Alayaya Sansa felt like she was sweating in places she didn't even know she could sweat.
"I'm parked over here." Margaery said as she gestured down the road to her car. "I'll give you a ride home."
"Thank you." Sansa sighed in relief, she didn't think she could walk home without passing out. Even the short walk to Margaery's car felt like torture. Opening the car door a blast of even hotter air hit both of them and Margaery sighed as she pulled a towel from her backseat and tossed it onto the passenger seat.
"Loras convinced me to get leather seats when I bought my car. Every summer I feel like murdering him." Margaery complained as she adjusted the towel on her own seat before getting into the car with a groan.
"Have you tried seat covers?" Sansa asked as she climbed carefully into the car. The back of her calf brushed the leather of the seat and she winced at the heat. She was suddenly immensely grateful for the towel she was sitting on because if she had to sit on the seat itself she was pretty sure she would have third degree burns by the time she got up again.
"Yeah." Margaery said as she started her car and turned the air-conditioner dial as high as it would go. The initial burst of air was hot and Sansa wrinkled her nose at its touch. "I swear I could still feel the heat from the leather through them so I gave up on it. The towel works better."
"Damn Loras." Sansa agreed with her as the air finally started to turn cold. Margaery laughed and nodded in agreement. As Sansa finally started to cool down she realized that this was the first time she had truly been alone with Margaery with no other ears close enough to listen since the night at the bar. Her fingers curled into her palms as she waited to see if Margaery would say something. She debated mentioning it herself before realizing she still had no idea what she wanted to say. Even with that night still undiscussed between them the silence in the car still did not feel awkward. As they neared Sansa's building her shoulders relaxed and she let the blessed air-conditioning cool her down.
"I bet you miss Winterfell on days like this huh?" Margaery asked curiously as she pulled up to the curb in front of Sansa's building.
"I always miss Winterfell." Sansa admitted, looking over at Margaery. Even covered in a light sheen of sweat she was still the most beautiful girl Sansa had ever seen. She couldn't help but think of how she wanted to make her sweat for vastly different reasons. The thought brought the telltale signs of heat to her cheeks and Sansa quickly fumbled with the latch of her seatbelt so that Margaery would not see her blush and comment on it.
"I get it. Home is always home." Margaery said as she reached over and clicked the latch on the seatbelt Sansa was struggling to get undone.
She mumbled a 'thanks' before reaching for the door handle, looking up in time to see Margaery smile at her. "I guess I'll see you later."
Sansa made a noise of agreement before stepping out of the car, the heat hitting her like a physical weight as she dashed up the stairs to her building. She didn't stop running until she was inside her apartment and the pro/con list of dating she had made a few days before was in her hand. Thinking of the soft smile on Margaery's face as she had gotten out of the car Sansa ripped the paper in half. Six more months of not dating was more than enough.
August
The heat wave didn't break for nearly two weeks. Two awful weeks where Sansa barely left the safe coolness of her apartment as the coffeehouse was closed for a week while a new air-conditioner was ordered and installed. Sansa hadn't expected to hear from her coworkers during this time but to her surprise they had all started a group chat that went on until the shop reopened. This time when they invited her out drinking with them Sansa declined. She had embarrassed herself enough in front of them. Besides, she no longer trusted herself around Margaery when alcohol was involved.
She wasn't planning on spending the whole summer inside of course. King's Landing was often the home to several festivals and concerts during the summer and Sansa was able to score a ticket to The First Men's concert before it sold out. The heat wave had broken a few days before the show but Sansa was still sweating by the time she reached the fairgrounds the concert was being held at after walking from her apartment. She found herself very grateful that she had remembered to pack sunscreen in her bag because there was still another few hours left before the sun went down and she felt like she could already see a burn forming on her skin. Yet another fun perk of being a redhead.
The fairgrounds were already packed with people. Sansa had arrived a little later than she had planned but there was still another thirty minutes before the opening act, the Greenseers, started playing. Sansa started picking her way through the crowd in the attempts to make it a little closer to the stage. This far out there were people settled on blankets on the grass, clearly content to just listen to the concert and not join the massive throng of people all vying for a closer look at the stage.
Sansa loved watching the people in the crowd. There were people of all ages in all styles of dress. She passed a group of teens debating over which side of the crowd would be faster to get through and she silently agreed with the one that said either one would be faster if they just started and stopped standing around discussing it. Sansa slowly made her way closer to the stage, sidestepping around groups and singles. No one paid much attention to her. She discovered quickly that if she looked like she had a purpose people let her move right past them without jostling her. She'd made it about fifteen feet in before she realized that the group of teens she'd passed was following the path she was cutting through the crowd. Sansa let out a little laugh that was lost in the rumble of the crowd.
She came to a stop about ten people back from the stage. The rows in front of her were packed so tightly with people Sansa didn't think she could get through them if she tried too. She hadn't been trying to get to the stage anyway, just close enough to see the band perform. The heat of the bodies around her made the temperature rise what felt like another ten degrees and Sansa pulled a water bottle out of her backpack and drank from it while she still had the chance. As she was putting the bottle back into her bag a shout from across the crowd caught her attention and she looked up curiously.
A group of men around her age were jumping on each other and laughing. Sansa would have thought that they were teenagers except that several of them had facial hair too thick for most teens to grow. It wasn't their actions or debating over their ages that kept her eyes on them though. There, standing in the middle of the group with the sun glinting off his blonde curls, was Joffrey Baratheon.
Every nerve in Sansa's body froze at the sight of him. There was a rough crinkle of plastic as she squeezed her water bottle tight enough to dent it. He was far enough across the crowd that he did not look in her direction but Sansa still felt like her throat had gone to sandpaper and she felt suddenly lightheaded and not just from the heat. This was the first time that she had been in his presence in years and she found her mind was running in frantic circles trying to figure out what she wanted to do.
A large part of her wanted to march over to him and tell his friends what a cruel bastard he was. To shout at the top of her lungs about the things he said and did to her so that no one would ever be foolish enough to be his lover again. Another part of her wanted to slap him across his stupid face, to make him feel even a moment of the pain he'd put her through for years. Sansa wanted to tell him that despite his best efforts to ruin her, to make her weak and destroy her life, he had failed miserably. She had survived him and she was doing just fine.
Sansa started to make her way through the crowd, people's elbows hitting her in the ribs as they tried to jostle her back behind them. Sansa ignored them and pushed on, intending to let Joffrey know that, in fact, she was doing even better than fine. She was the top of her class, she had a job she enjoyed, she had friends who cared about her and she was closer than ever with her siblings. She went places alone and actually had a good time. She'd realized that she was stronger than she had ever thought she was, stronger than anyone had ever given her credit for. She was no longer defined by a relationship or what another person thought of her.
That thought made her stop cold. Joffrey and his friends were still several people away but he was close enough that if she shouted he would hear her. It was not like he was a stranger to the sound of her cries after all. But Sansa had realized that going over there and confronting him now would mean that he still had some kind of power over her and he didn't. She didn't have to go over there and tell him how much better her life was without him in it because she no longer cared what he thought about her.
Sansa turned back to the stage as the crowd began to cheer, the members of Greenseers were beginning to take the stage. Joffrey Baratheon had stopped having power over her and her choices a long time ago. Sansa was not going to let him ruin this night for her like he had ruined so many of her nights in the past. She was done letting him have any kind of effect on her.
As the music began to wash over the crowd Sansa laughed as the movement of the crowd pushed her forward. One of the teens who had followed her through the crowd earlier somehow heard her over the music and reached back for her hand, helping her shove the last few feet forward until she was against the fence surrounding the stage. The crowd around them tried to jostle them back, to get that sought over spot of 'front row' but Sansa planted her feet and held tight to the fence. It may have taken her a bit longer than others but Sansa had learned to stand her ground and she wasn't going to give that up for anyone.
XxX
The new air conditioner at the coffeehouse was amazing. Sansa thought it might even be better than the one in her apartment. Every time she walked into the shop she let out a sigh of relief at the blissful coolness inside. She didn't think she would ever get used to the hot summers of the south. She had never thought that she would miss summer snows until she had come down here.
Sansa had assumed that the person leaving her the flowers would have given up after the week without being able to leave them but when the shop reopened she was left a bouquet of eight flowers, one for that day and one for every day the shop was closed. The thought of the flowers and who was leaving them would consume her if she let herself focus on them for too long so Sansa had taken to giving the flowers to strangers she passed as she walked home from work. The flowers brightened her day so she hoped that she might be able to brighten others with them as well.
Part of her was content to never know who was leaving the flowers for her. If she was honest with herself she still wasn't entirely convinced that it wasn't Arya testing her. When she focused on it too much Sansa got confused and a little annoyed that she still hadn't caught who was doing it, despite her best efforts. Not that knowing who was leaving them would change anything for her. She had a little more than four months to go and she wasn't going to let anything or anyone jeopardize that for her.
Her summer courses had ended earlier that week and students were set to return to campus starting in the next couple of weeks. Sansa was both excited and dreading the school year starting up again. She still had two more years to go before she graduated but this was Margaery's last year of school and Sansa didn't think she would be sticking around in King's Landing after she was done. The selfish part of Sansa wanted her too but more than that she wanted Margaery to go where ever she was happiest. She kept expecting Margaery to tell her about how she was dating someone but she never did. Sansa couldn't understand how a girl so wonderful was still single.
Sansa wasn't the only one who thought that either. She'd overheard a conversation between Margaery and Bella earlier that week where Margaery had mentioned that it was just so hard to meet people with her schedule. She didn't have to time to casually date and she was looking for something more than that at the moment anyway. Sansa had pretended to keep wiping down that counter as she listened and whispered a silent 'thank you' to the universe that Margaery's course-work and internships kept her from meeting too many people. It was entirely selfish of her but it gave Sansa hope that she might just have a chance once the year was over.
Summer was drawing to a close and the days were already slightly shorter than they had been when classes had first ended. Now when they locked the doors at night dusk had already settled in. Near the end of August Alayaya left early one night and Sansa and Margaery were left to close up the shop together. It had been a slow night and both of them had spent more time playing on their phones than they should have but during the summer Alayaya didn't mind as long as everything still got done. They were able to do so much of their closing duties before they even locked the door that they were set to leave only ten minutes after they'd locked up instead of the usual thirty or more.
"I'll go get the deposit bag." Sansa called over her shoulder to Margaery as she pushed through the swinging door to the back. The door had just shut behind her when she realized that she had forgotten her phone underneath the register. She had forgotten it there earlier that week and her and Podrick had nearly set off the alarm letting her back in to get it. Not wanting to go through that again Sansa quickly spun on her heels and pushed through the door again.
Margaery started in surprise at the movement and a slightly crumbled pink peony slipped out of her hands and landed on the tiled floor.
Both Sansa and her stared at the flower in silence for a moment before Margaery let out a choked sounding laugh. She stooped down to pick the flower up off the floor before reaching it out towards Sansa. Her voice sounded slightly higher than usual as she spoke quickly, "I was just bringing this to you! Looks like you got left another flower."
Sansa looked from the flower to the tip jar where the flowers were usually left. She knew for a fact that there had been no flower in there when she'd gone to the back and the door was already locked. No one had even been in the coffeehouse for the last few hours and her and Margaery had deep cleaned the entire shop today. If that flower had been left Sansa would have found it by now which could only mean one thing...
"It's you." Sansa said breathlessly as she looked up from the flower to Margaery's face. Margaery swallowed nervously and shook her head in refusal as Sansa took a step closer to her, taking the peony out of her hand. She was careful not to brush Margaery's skin as she did it because she did not think she could handle the contact at the moment.
"Of course not." Margaery choked out on a laugh, her empty hand falling back to her side.
"Have they all been from you?" Sansa asked even though she felt like she already knew the answer. Her thoughts were going too fast for her to keep up and Sansa found herself wishing that they hadn't flipped all of the chairs up onto the tables so that she could sit down. She rubbed her fingers over the peony petals as she tried to wrap her mind around this turn of events.
Of course they were from Margaery. She had been the first one to find the flowers after all and she was the one who had told Sansa that flowers have meanings. She had even given Sansa a flower at the Rose Festival! How could Sansa have not figured it out by now?
Margaery shifted awkwardly as she nodded and Sansa slumped against the counter in surprise. She had been denying her feelings for Margaery so much and so often that she hadn't really let herself consider that Margaery had feelings for her too. She'd hoped off course and she'd thought that she might a few months ago but she had been trying to distance herself a little bit hoping that she would not hurt Margaery as she finished out her resolution. It seemed that had not worked and Sansa felt a lump form in her stomach as she realized that she had to let Margaery down now despite the fact that she very much did not want too.
"Does everyone know?" Sansa asked as she tried to buy herself some time. Was there even a graceful way to say 'I like you but I can't date you this year'? Why had there never been a rom-com about this so Sansa could at least have some point of reference to work off of?!
Looking down at the floor sheepishly Margaery nodded. "I could never get a read on you so I left the flowers as a way to kind of feel you out." Margaery admitted as she looked back up at Sansa. Sansa couldn't help but marvel at the fact that she wasn't even blushing. If Sansa had been in her shoes her face would have resembled a fire truck at this point. "But my secrets out now so I'll just say what you've already figured out. I like you Sansa. A lot. I'd like to ask you out on a date."
"I like you too." Sansa admitted before chastising herself. She did not want to get Margaery's hopes up but judging by the smile forming on her face she had already done that. She really needed to get better at what she said when she was caught off guard. "But I can't say yes."
A look of confusion crossed Margaery's face as her smile faltered. "Why not? It's not June anymore."
Sansa blushed as she remembered what she said during the dancing. She looked down at her shoes as she tried to decide what to do. She suddenly found herself embarrassed of her resolution, of the fact that she needed a year to be by herself to learn who she was. But Margaery had been honest with her so the least Sansa could do was return the favor.
"I'm not dating this month either." Sansa admitted as she looked back up at Margaery. "Or this whole year actually."
"Can I ask why not?" Margaery asked as disappointment and confusion wared on her face. Her hopeful look was gone and Sansa felt guilt threading through her blood. She never should have told Margaery she liked her too. She should have just let her down easy so that she could get on with her life.
Sansa bit her lip before she spoke. It was hard to say it all out loud but she owed Margaery the truth. "My New Year's resolution was to not date anyone this year. I've had some pretty bad relationships in the past and I just needed some distance from that. I need to figure out who I am by myself." She wanted to continue, to laugh it off as silly or to call it dumb but she held her tongue. That was something she would have done at the start of the year but not now. She was done apologizing for things that were important to her. Either Margaery would get it or she wouldn't but Sansa wasn't going to play herself down to get her too.
"I understand." Margaery sighed causing Sansa to look at her in surprise "I've had some bad relationships myself. I'm a little embarrassed I didn't realize what was happening. I shouldn't have left you all those flowers, I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Sansa said in shock. She hadn't really expected Margaery to understand let alone feel like she had something to apologize for. The flowers had been a bright part to her days these past few months, they were like a reminder that even as she changed people would still like this new her. "I like the flowers."
They looked at each other in silence for a moment, Sansa's fingers rubbing the soft petals of the flower in her hand. She found herself at a loss for what to say. She hadn't expected to have any kind of conversation with Margaery about feelings until January and she hadn't worked out what she was going to say yet. It seemed the conversation had gone a different direction than Margaery had expected as well, her brow was furrowed and she looked to be in deep thought.
"Are you going to start dating again next year?" Margaery finally broke the silence, her question slow as if she was still thinking it through even as she asked it.
Sansa nodded slowly, her heart suddenly feeling like it was beating in her throat. She had a feeling like she knew what direction this conversation was about to go in but she didn't want to get her hopes up. "I think so."
"So if I asked you on a date, say in January, that would be okay?" Margaery asked softly, her voice steady but the nervous twisting of her apron strings giving her away.
"Yeah." Sansa choked out in surprise before shaking her head. A year was a long time to wait for someone, she could never ask Margaery to do that for her. "But I can't ask you to put your life on hold for me."
"You didn't." Margaery smiled as she tilted her head to the side, watching Sansa thoughtfully. "And I'm not. I'm just going to remember that you're out there and maybe you can remember that too. Don't let me effect what you're doing this year Sansa."
"There's still another four months." Sansa reminded her, her heart was beating double time in her chest. Margaery could not be serious right now. As if Sansa could ever forget that Margaery was out there. But she could not expect for someone to put their life on pause just because she needed time to grow. This was asking far too much of Margaery. No matter what Sansa felt she knew that waiting these last few months might make Margaery resent her and she would never want that. "I can't ask you to wait for me."
"I volunteered. Besides I've already invested quite a bit of time into this. It'd be foolish of me not to see it through now." Margaery reminded her softly before shrugging. A small smile was back on her face and it seemed like she had no idea the roller-coaster she'd sent Sansa on.
"You're serious?" Sansa asked, unwilling to let her hopes get up until Margaery confirmed it.
"I'm serious. You're not the only one who has dated their fair share of toads Sansa." Margaery said as her mouth went up into that half smile that made Sansa's knees go weak. "You're the first person I've met in a long time that I've actually been interested in for more than just a few weeks. That's why I left you all the flowers, I was scared of moving too fast and screwing it up."
"You're the first person I've been truly interested in for a long time too" Sansa admitted, shaking her head in wonder. She still couldn't quite believe this was happening, that her and Margaery were really on the same page about this.
"Then I think we owe it to ourselves to see where this takes us." Margaery said softly as she leaned against the counter next to Sansa. Their arms were just a hairs breath apart and Sansa swallowed hard at the sudden closeness. She didn't think she would be able to control her actions if Margaery came much closer but thankfully the older girl seemed to pick up on that. "I'll admit I'm not crazy about waiting until next year to go on a date with you but my grandmother always told me that good things were worth waiting for."
"Your grandmother does seem very wise." Sansa said, her heart beating loudly in her chest. Was Margaery serious? Would she really wait another four months just to go on a date with Sansa? People hadn't even been willing to wait a few days for her before. By the time her and Margaery even made it to a date Margaery would have been waiting for nearly a whole year. She had to give her an out, she had to let her know that she wasn't going to hold her to this. No matter how strong Sansa's feelings for Margaery were what she wanted more than anything was for Margaery to be happy. She wouldn't be happy just waiting around for her. "But you really don't have to wait for me. Four months can be an awfully long time."
"It can." Margaery agreed as she looked over at Sansa and reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair back behind Sansa's ear. Her fingers hovered next to Sansa's cheek as she whispered, "But something tells me that you're worth the wait Sansa."