SOLSTICE
November
The autumnal chill in the air did nothing to match the chill that had taken up residence in Sansa's chest. Sansa had not thought it was possible to feel shame like it was a living breathing thing. A ball had formed in her stomach, composed out of guilt, shame and regret. It seemed to grow larger with every breath that she took, it drew strength in the looks that passed between her and Margaery at the coffeeshop.
Work was the one place that she could not avoid Margaery although she tried her very hardest to do so. She volunteered to do all of the dishes, preferring to stay alone in the backroom where the loudness of the dishwasher provided an easy excuse not to have conversations. The minutes before the door was unlocked when it was just her and Margaery opening up were the hardest. Sansa couldn't seem to find the words to make a sincere enough apology. She felt like she was just stringing Margaery along at this point and yet she did not want to tell her to stop waiting for her. She had never felt so strongly for one person before. She knew that the right thing to do was to tell Margaery to stop waiting for her and go and live her life but Sansa could not seem to find the words anymore.
Sansa had skived off their weekly study sessions out of desperation. She could barely handle being at work with Margaery, she knew that being cramped in a small room with her would only end in disaster. She was trying to spare them both anymore unnecessary heartache.
However, it didn't seem like Margaery had gotten the memo.
Sansa was fleeing work one morning and when she pulled her bag out of the cubby it was in a red rose floated down to the floor. It had been tucked into the cubby with her bag. Sansa stared down at it in surprise. She didn't deserve any more flowers just as she didn't deserve Margaery's patience. She bent down to pick it up, running her fingers over the slightly crushed petals.
"Are you ever going to stop avoiding me?" Margaery asked softly from the doorway.
Sansa jumped and pricked her hand on a thorn on the rose as she did so. She hadn't even heard Margaery come in. She felt like denying that she was avoiding her at all but they would both know what a lie that was and Sansa had already put Margaery through enough, she didn't need to be lying to her too.
"I just feel so ashamed." Sansa finally admitted, preferring to say the words to the rose than to Margaery herself. A bright spot of blood had formed on her palm and Sansa stared at it with fascination. She could see Bella peering at them curiously over Margaery's shoulder and Sansa wanted the floor to open up right then and there.
"What on earth for?" Margaery asked, taking a step inside the backroom so that the door swung shut behind her leaving them alone. "I was the one that was out of line that night."
Sansa's head shot up so fast she felt her neck pop. "What?"
"I should never have brought you somewhere we would be alone together. I should have known what would happen-"
"You're joking right?" Sansa asked wearily, certain that Margaery was teasing her. When she shook her head 'no' Sansa was surprised by a sudden flare of anger coursing through her. How dare Margaery blame herself in all of this? It wasn't her fault that Sansa had this resolution and it wasn't her fault that they had almost kissed. Sansa was a grown woman who was perfectly capable of accepting the responsibility of her actions.
"This is so not your fault." Sansa said hotly. "I knew we would be alone the moment I followed you out onto the roof and I did it anyway. I feel terrible for rejecting you. I almost kissed you because I-" Sansa cut herself off at the amused look forming on Margaery's face. "What?" she asked in exasperation.
"Sorry." Margaery said with a grin that made Sansa think that she wasn't really very sorry at all. "I've just never seen you mad before. It's really cute."
Sansa rolled her eyes and tossed the rose at her. Margaery caught it easily and began to pull the thorns off the stem with careful movements.
"Please don't be blaming yourself for something I had a part in." Sansa finally whispered, causing Margaery to look up from the flower and back at her.
"I won't, if you agree that you won't either." Margaery said softly as she worked the thrones out of the stem slowly.
"I can't keep asking you to wait for me." Sansa whispered. She wanted to say the words louder but it was hard enough for her to get them to leave her lips at all.
"You keep saying that but Sansa, you never asked." Margaery sighed in exasperation, looking back up at Sansa. Her eyes were soft as she reminded her, "I volunteered."
"I still feel guilty." Sansa admitted with a shrug before looking down at her feet.
"Would you like me to stop sending the flowers? Would that help?" Margaery asked, her voice full of patience. Sansa had no idea what she had done to deserve this amazing woman being so kind to her.
"No." Sansa said after a moment of thought. "I like the flowers."
"I'll keep sending them, then." Margaery smiled as she looked down at the now thorneless rose in her hands. "For however long it takes."
"It's just not fair to you." Sansa protested with a shake of her head. How could Margaery not see that? "I tell you one moment that I'm not dating this year and the next moment I'm trying to kiss you on a rooftop. How is your head not spinning in circles by this point?"
Margaery stepped forward with a smile, reaching up to tuck the rose behind Sansa's ear. She made certain to keep a bit of space between their bodies for which Sansa was very grateful.
"My head has always been spinning in circles when I'm with you Sansa." Margaery confided, her fingers trailing through Sansa's hair as she lowered her hand. "You have that affect on me."
XxX
After their heart to heart at the coffeehouse things between her and Margaery thankfully fell back into their routine. Sansa couldn't remember the last time she had felt so at ease with a person. Nor could she remember the last person that she had fought with that didn't bring the fight up days later to make her feel guilty. Although she supposed it hadn't really been a fight at all, simply a misunderstanding. It was nice to not have it thrown back in her face though, not that she had really expected Margaery to do so. It was just nice to have it proved to her once again how wonderful Margaery truly was.
Their study sessions were back on with a vigor. Margaery was clearly feeling the pressure of finals as strongly as Sansa was. They were still over a month away but Sansa was of the mindset that finals were something that one could never be overprepared for. She had already started a rigorous study plan. Margaery was working on her thesis as well as her coursework so she had taken to joining Sansa nearly every night at the library. They didn't talk much during their study sessions but it was still nice to have some company.
In the quiet moments of the library Sansa would sometimes put her books down for a moment to rest her eyes or to simply absorb what she had just read. She would often use that time to study Margaery who would be working diligently, her brown hair cascading down over one shoulder. Sansa couldn't wait until January where she could finally act on her desire to reach forward and touch it.
She couldn't help but wonder if Margaery was counting down the days like she was. Sansa had taken to crossing off each day on her calendar before she went to bed so that she could have further proof that she was one step closer to the new year. One step closer to Margaery.
The study sessions still sometimes felt like she was cheating on her resolution but since they spent the majority of the night in silence and both of them would be studying even if the other person wasn't there Sansa decided she would let it slide. It wasn't like her and Margaery were touching or anything so Sansa didn't think that she needed to worry about it too much. She made sure that they both kept their distance and that the conversation didn't stray to anything too serious. She wanted to make it clear that this was just study sessions between friends and nothing more. Not that she thought Margaery needed the reminder, that was purely for Sansa herself.
She had never thought that she would be content to have a first date with someone be in the library but that was before she had met Margaery. If Margaery wanted to pick up trash in the park for their first date Sansa would happily agree to it.
Margaery had mentioned the affect Sansa had on her but sometimes Sansa didn't think that she realized the affect she had on Sansa as well.
XxX
"Wow that is a lot of yarn." Robb commented dryly as he surveyed the overflowing basket sitting beside Sansa's couch.
"She's turned into a knitting mad woman." Arya said as she flopped onto the couch and rolled her eyes when Sansa stuck her tongue out at her. For whatever reason whenever more than two of the Stark children were around each other they all seemed to revert back to childhood.
"Don't make fun of my knitting or neither of you are getting Christmas gifts this year." Sansa huffed as she sat down on the windowsill. Robb laughed and shoved Arya's feet to the floor so he could sit beside her on the couch.
"Let me guess, you knitted us something?" Robb asked with a grin, laughing as he held up his hands to ward off the pillow Sansa threw at him.
Robb was in town for the weekend for a conference their father had sent him down to attend. He had been working for their father since he graduated college from the University of Winterfell. Robb had never shown any desire to leave Winterfell which Sansa personally thought was very sweet of him. Their father liked to send him to conferences in his steed though so that Robb could at least see a little bit of the world. Personally, Sansa thought that it was also because their father hated to travel and he really hated to be without his wife for too long.
A musical tinkling noise suddenly cut through their laughter as Arya pulled her phone out of her pocket. Ignoring the fact that their brother only had a short amount of time to spend with them before he had to get back to work Arya darted out into the hallway to answer the phone call.
Robb watched her run off curiously before turning back to Sansa. "Dad wanted me to mention to you that we're planning on adding a new department at the company pretty soon. It should be up and running within the year."
"Oh, that's exciting!" Sansa replied although she wasn't sure why Robb was bringing it up. She'd talked to their father just the other day and he hadn't mentioned anything.
"Yeah, and there will be lots of jobs to fill in case you were interested in moving back home." Robb said with a shrug that he was trying far too hard to make casual.
Sansa couldn't help but smile at him. She had been so stressed not that long ago about where she would go when she graduated and she still wasn't sure. She found herself very grateful she hadn't mentioned her thoughts on moving back to Winterfell to anyone in her family.
"I'll keep that in mind." Sansa said softly. She didn't know where she wanted to end up yet but there was no point in hurting her family's feelings or getting hopes up until she did.
Robb nodded quickly, it was clearly not the answer he had been hoping for but he still looked a bit more relaxed now that he had done what their father had likely asked him to do. Eddard Stark was always having other people try to convince Sansa to come home. He had never wanted her to go to King's Landing in the first place and after Joffrey and her broke up he didn't understand why she wouldn't come home. Sansa hadn't had the heart to tell him that she was too ashamed to face everyone. They had told her what a bad idea moving here was and she hadn't listened to them. She had stayed at King's Landing to prove a point, but she still didn't know if that point was to her family or herself.
"So, how's the love life these days?" Robb asked, glancing around her apartment as if someone was suddenly going to spring out of the cupboards. "Are you seeing anyone? Do you have anyone special in your life?"
Sansa bit down a laugh at that. Robb was clearly desperate to change the subject, he hated talking about love lives with his siblings. Poor thing didn't realize what a can of worms he had just opened. "No, and yes."
December
"Do you think Rickon would wear this?" Arya asked holding a bright orange wool hat with pompoms on the tassels up and eyeing it curiously.
Sansa looked at her wearily, not entirely sure if she was joking or not. Their little brother was known for wearing bright and outrageous outfits but that was a bit much even for him.
"Probably not." Sansa said gently holding back a sigh of relief when Arya only grumbled a little before placing it back on the shelf.
The Stark sisters were taking a much-needed break from studying to pick up the last few Christmas gifts they needed. Well, the last few gifts Arya still needed to buy. Sansa had made all of her gifts for everyone on her list this year. It was the last weekend before finals week so the crowd inside of the stores was mostly devoid of students and Arya and Sansa were shouldering their way past screaming children and frazzled looking parents inside of over caffeinated young adults.
"Have you seriously got all of your shopping done already?" Arya asked for the third time as she sniffed curiously at a bottle of cologne. Sansa didn't know who she'd had in mind for the bottle but judging by the look of disgust on her face no one would be getting that as a gift from her this year.
"I've told you I didn't have to do any shopping, I made all my gifts." Sansa reminded her, she was trying to keep her patience with her sister but it was beginning to run thin. The crowd was only getting thicker and Arya seemed in no hurry to get her shopping list done that evening. Sansa had a feeling that she was doing this more as an excuse to not study than anything else. Sansa was all in favor of a break but she still wanted to revise her literature notes one more time before she went to sleep that evening.
"You're crazy. That's way too much work." Arya grumbled as she threw a pair of socks patterned with dragons into the shopping cart that she had been riding on more than pushing. She had nearly bowled over an old woman two aisles back and Sansa had had to grab onto the back of her coat and pull her to a stop to prevent an accident.
"It's certainly cheaper though." Sansa said as she eyed the many items in the cart. She had no idea her sister had so many people to buy gifts for.
"Since when do you care about things being cheaper?" Arya asked curiously.
"Since I started working." Sansa retorted defiantly.
"Please we both know you haven't kept that job for the money. That's just a bonus." Arya said with a laugh that Sansa chose to ignore. Arya studied a pack of pens very intensely and she tried to keep her voice nonchalant as she asked, "Speaking of your job have you had any more clues as to who might be leaving you the flowers?"
Sansa found herself suddenly enthralled with a selection of neckties as she tried and failed to fight down a blush. She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell Arya who had been leaving the flowers for her. It opened up too many doors she didn't feel like dealing with yet. Realizing that she couldn't avoid telling her the truth any longer Sansa whispered in defeat. "Actually, I found out it's been Margaery."
To her surprise Arya didn't launch into a tirade or tell her to quit her job. Instead she did something Sansa did not expect, rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath, "Finally."
"You knew?" Sansa asked in shock trying to ignore the slight sting of betrayal she felt. How could Arya know something like that and not tell her?
"I assumed." Arya admitted with a shrug. She looked up in time to see the hurt look Sansa was giving her and rolled her eyes again. "I've kind of figured it was her since the Rose Festival."
"And you didn't say anything to me?" Sansa asked in shock.
"It wasn't my place." Arya muttered, looking uncomfortable. "Besides, I'm kind of surprised it took you this long."
Sansa felt her blush deepen as Arya rolled her eyes at her again. How was she supposed to have known it was Margaery?
It seemed her sister wasn't letting her off the hook yet as she continued, "For someone so smart Sansa you sure can be pretty clueless."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sansa asked defensively.
"It means that Margaery is literally studying flowers and you never guessed it was her." Arya shook her head with a sigh. "Add in the fact that she is obviously crazy about you, I can't believe it took you this long. How did you finally find out? Did you catch her in the act?"
Sansa silently cursed her red headed genes for her blush as she cursed her sister out loud for laughing at her and simply knowing her too well.
XxX
Finals were finally over and Sansa could feel the relief of them being done like a physical weight off of her shoulders. She hadn't realized how stressed out she had been until it was over. She spent the week after they were done at work but she didn't mind at all. Without the stress of knowing that she should be studying for tests her shifts seemed to go by much quicker.
"Sansa wait up a minute!" Margaery called as Sansa put on her coat to head home. Her shift was over and she needed to go home to pack. Her and Arya were set out to leave the next morning for Winterfell where they would spend a week of the holiday break with their family.
Margaery followed her into the back room and dug in her bag as Sansa waited patiently, half expecting her to pull out a flower. Instead she found herself surprised when Margaery pulled out a red wrapped package. The store had a long-standing tradition of doing Secret Santa for Christmas gifts and Sansa knew for a fact that Margaery didn't have her because she had heard Podrick asking Bella yesterday whether or not Sansa liked chocolate. Besides, even if Margaery did have her, they weren't doing the gift exchange until everyone got back from their vacations. Shae had this weekend off and Sansa was leaving in the morning and Margaery was leaving the day after her. Bella was leaving the day after that. There wasn't much point to do their party when half the staff wouldn't be there.
"I know we weren't supposed to be giving anyone else but our secret Santa gifts but I couldn't resist." Margaery said with a smile as she pressed the gift into Sansa's hands. Judging by the shape and feel of it in her hands she would wager that it was a book. Sansa didn't care what it was, the fact that Margaery had thought of her at all made her heart swell with joy.
"I actually have something for you as well." Sansa admitted sheepishly, looking down at her feet. "I already snuck it into your bag."
Margaery looked at her in surprise before peeking into the front pocket of her bag. The small green wrapped package Sansa had snuck in there sat innocently atop her things. Margaery laughed and looked up at her in surprise.
"I took a page out of your book with the flowers." Sansa admitted with a shrug causing Margaery's smile to widen.
"We shouldn't open them until Christmas." Margaery sighed which Sansa agreed with. She wanted to rip the paper off the package in her hands almost as much as she wanted to run her hands through Margaery's hair. She was growing so very tired of waiting where Margaery was concerned. The fact that there was only a little more than a week left to go until her resolution was over was not lost on her.
As if Margaery could feel the thought running through Sansa's mind, she cleared her throat. "When do you get back again?"
"New Year's Eve." Sansa said slowly. It had been Arya's idea to wait to leave until right before Christmas and then stay later. She'd said it worked better for her schedule but Sansa had a feeling it was mainly so Sansa wouldn't be around Margaery in the last week before her resolution was over. There was no point to test her already stretched thin self-control any more than she already had.
"You know I don't expect you to start dating me or anything at the start of the year right Sansa?" Margaery asked shyly, suddenly pulling Sansa from her thoughts. "If you wanted to keep this not dating thing going a little longer, or if you need more time, I totally understand."
"Thank you." Sansa said in surprise. She had not been expecting Margaery to offer such a thing. Margaery's concern was appreciated but not needed. Sansa didn't want to wait any longer, she barely had it in her to make it to the end of the week. "I'll keep that in mind. But it's totally not necessary."
Margaery tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she shifted her feet nervously. "Do you have any plans for New Year's Eve when you get back? What time do you guys fly in?"
"We get in late afternoon. I don't have any official plans yet." She didn't mention that she had been leaving the night open in the hopes that she could meet up with Margaery that evening. If Margaery hadn't offered anything, she likely would have ended up at home alone or with Arya ringing in the new year.
"Loras and Renly are having a party. You should stop by. It won't be nearly as big as their Halloween party." Margaery added, clearly seeing the look of unease on Sansa's face. She wanted to spend time with Margaery and she liked Loras and Renly a lot but their Halloween party had been a bit too packed for her taste. But if Margaery was at the party Sansa did not care if the entire population of King's Landing was in attendance.
"If you're going to be there, I wouldn't miss it for the world."
XxX
"Ouch, Theon that's my foot!" Sansa cried in pain as her adopted brother crunched on her toes in his haste to pull her and Arya into a hug at the same time.
"My face does not need to be in your armpit!" Arya cried out, her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.
"I haven't seen you two in over a year and a half and that's the kind of welcome I get?" Theon grumbled light-heartedly as he stepped out of the way for the others to come and hug them. The next few minutes were a mess of hugs and dogs parking and tails hitting Sansa painfully in the thighs as the dogs got wound up from all of the excitement. She couldn't remember the last time all of the Stark children had been under one roof, judging by the looks on her parents' faces she wasn't the only one thinking that.
"How was your flight? Not too bumpy I hope?" Catelyn asked, brushing some of Sansa's hair back out of her face.
"It was fine." Arya said from where she sat on the floor with Nymeria in her lap. The dog was nearly as big as Arya, it was a wonder it could sit on her without knocking her over. Sansa felt her usual stab of longing for Lady that she always felt when she saw her siblings' dogs.
Catelyn looked down at her with a smile before reaching forward and pulling Sansa into another hug. "I am just so glad you two are finally home."
The next morning Sansa was startled awake by a weight suddenly flinging itself onto her bed. "It's Christmas morning! You have to get up!" Rickon cried as he bounced on his knees a few times before another weight joined them on the bed. Before Sansa could but her hands up to protect her face Shaggydog had already licked a trail of drool from her chin to her eyebrow.
"I'm up, I'm up!" she cried in protest, trying to shove the dog off of her and sit up. Instead she was joined by yet another dog as Summer sped into her room and leaped onto the bed to join in the merriment.
"Bran, call off your dog!" Sansa cried as she pulled her pillow over her head as the dogs continued to try to bathe her with their tongues. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of their breath even with the pillow between them.
"They want you to get up so they can open presents!" Bran called from the foot of the bed. Sansa lifted the pillow enough to glare at him from underneath the edge of it.
"I can't get up if they're on top of me!"
"Spoilsport." Bran laughed before whistling for Summer to join him. He hopped down and went to Bran's side immediately while Rickon tried to wrestle Shaggydog back off the bed. Sansa stood up the moment the dogs were off of her, trying to rub her face dry on her shirt as she did so.
"What a warm Stark welcome to Christmas morning." Bran said with a grin, ignoring the glare Sansa gave her younger brothers when she noticed the time on the clock beside her bed. She knew that her brothers were still young and should retain some of the magic of waking up early on Christmas morning for a few more years but really? Waking her up before five was just cruel.
"Am I the last one up?" Sansa asked with a sigh as she pulled on her bathrobe.
"Are you kidding? You're the easiest one to wake up. That's why we got you first." Rickon said as he let go of Shaggydog's collar. He ran straight towards Sansa, headbutting her legs until she reached down to scratch behind his ears.
"You get to help us wake the others." Bran added with a mischievous smirk.
Sansa didn't mind so much how early it was anymore.
XxX
Christmas passed in a blur of strewn wrapping paper and cookie decorating and a particularly terrifying few minutes when it appeared that Grey Wind had eaten part of a Lego set when really, he had just nudged it with his nose under the couch. Robb had been in the midst of dialing the vet when Ygritte had found the pieces.
Everyone loved the scarves Sansa had knitted for them and their father commented more than once on how much better her knitting skills had gotten. Amid all of the chaos Sansa didn't have a moment to herself to think about the present Margaery had given her until after dinner. Once everyone began to turn in for the night and Sansa made her way back to her room, she dug the package out of her suitcase and cradled it in her hands as she sat down on her bed.
She could hear Arya and Jon laughing in the next room but she let it fade into background noise as she settled against her pillows, running her fingers over the carefully folded corners of the gift Margaery had picked out just for her. She almost didn't want to open it because opening it would mean that the anticipation was over. What if the thing that she was waiting for wasn't as amazing as she thought it would be?
But it was from Margaery so Sansa knew that whatever it was she would love it. Slowly, Sansa ran her fingernail underneath the edge of the tape, peeling back all of the corners on the package back so painfully slow that if any of her siblings had been in the room with her, they would have thrown things at her by now. Holding her breath Sansa pulled the paper from the package revealing a book, just like she had known all along.
It was a light purple book with an image of a sun flower on it and the title above read, The Language of Flowers. Sansa ran her fingers down the cover with a light laugh. She should have known.
Nestling deeper into her pillows Sansa flipped the book open intent on reading up about all of the flowers Margaery had been leaving her, curious to know if the information she found online had been correct. She stopped at the sight of Margaery's familiar scrawl on the inside cover.
Sansa,
You deserve all of the flowers in the world.
I hope I'll have the chance to give them to you.
Margaery
XxX
After finding the inscription in the book the rest of the break seemed to both drag on and pass too quickly. Sansa was very happy to be back spending time with her family and she had a great time with them but whenever there was a lull in conversation, she always found her thoughts drifting back to Margaery. She knew that Margaery had told her that she would keep waiting for her but Sansa was more than done with waiting. She didn't know how she was going to be around Margaery on New Year's Eve and manage to wait until midnight. Every time those thoughts came into her head, she would whisper a silent thank you to Arya for making them stay at Winterfell as long as they were.
By the time the day came for them to head home Sansa found that as much as she wanted to go back to King's Landing she still wanted to stay in Winterfell as well. It wasn't the places themselves that she found herself longing for, just the people. If only she could get every person she cared about to stay in the same city. That would be her ideal home.
She managed not to cry during the goodbyes at the airport but only just barely. She let Arya lead the way through security as she waved goodbye over her shoulder.
Their flight had originally been scheduled to land in King's Landing at four in the afternoon but the flight before theirs had been delayed with some bad weather at Storm's End. Sansa found herself torn between cursing the delay and being thankful for it. She could count the hours she had left until her resolution was over on her hands now. That knowledge kept her pacing at their gate for hours. By the time their plane finally arrived and they were able to board their new arrival time was nine o'clock.
Sansa still wasn't sure how she managed to make it through the flight without going crazy or driving her seat mates mad enough to attempt to throw her off the plane. She felt so jittery she wouldn't have really blamed them if they tried. Landing and baggage claim all became a blur to her and before she knew it, they were in a taxi headed towards her apartment where Arya was staying with her over break as her dorm was closed for the holiday.
"What are you doing tonight?" Sansa asked, partly out of curiosity but mainly to distract herself from how little time she had left. She only had a little over two hours to go. At the beginning of the year that would have felt like nothing but now it felt like a lifetime.
"Oh, I figured I would just tag along with you." Arya said nonchalantly causing Sansa to look at her in shock. She didn't care if Arya wanted to hang out with her but it was going to put a bit of a damper on her plans tonight. "I'm kidding." Arya grinned as she caught the look on Sansa's face. "I'm going to the bars with Gendry."
"Is Gendry your boyfriend?" Sansa couldn't stop herself from asking as they pulled up the curb in front of her building.
"Shut up." Arya blushed as she got out of the car. Sansa bit back her smile at the sight of red on her sister's cheeks and the fact that her answer hadn't been a no.
Her heart began to speed up as they carried their bags up to the apartment and it had nothing to do with physical exertion. Less than two hours to go now. She needed to change and head out to the party. Her original plan was to shower off the feeling of traveling but there was no time for that now. She felt like Cinderella, only in her version she stopped being a pumpkin at midnight instead of turning into one. Sansa changed faster than she had ever changed for anything in her life, whispering a silent thank you to her past self for planning and laying out her outfit before she left.
She was headed towards the door, trying to pull on her coat and put on her shoes at the same time when the sound of Arya clearing her throat stopped her.
"Before you go, I just wanted to say-" Arya frowned as she hesitated, her nose scrunched up like it always did when she talked about personal things. Sansa paused in her struggling to look at her sister in surprise. Arya had never gotten the scrunched-up face when talking to her before. "I just want to say that I'm proud of you for sticking to your resolution." she blurted in a rush, as if she didn't get it all out in one breath it wasn't coming out at all.
"Thank you." Sansa said in surprise. That had to be the nicest thing her sister had ever said to her. "And thank you for helping me keep it."
Arya shrugged like it was no big deal, before shoving her hands in her coat pockets and grinning at Sansa. "No problem. Now get out of here and go and get your girl."
XxX
Sansa chose to walk to the party instead of taking a cab. She knew that New Year's Eve was a dangerous night for a girl to be out walking alone but she was so hyped up with adrenaline she couldn't stand the idea of sitting still in a car. Besides, she felt like she could take on the whole world at the moment. She could defeat anything that tried to keep her from getting to Margaery.
She came up to the house both quicker than she thought she would and after what felt like ages. She wondered if that was how the rest of the night was going to feel, like no time was passing at all and yet going by at top speed. There was less than thirty minutes until midnight, less than thirty minutes until Sansa's resolution was over. She had never felt such a sense of anticipation in her entire life.
The steps leading up to the house were thankfully clear this time and Sansa hesitated only a moment before knocking on the door. Normally for house parties she knew the protocol was to just go inside but Margaery had said this was a smaller affair.
The door opened almost immediately and Sansa realized that while 'smaller' might have meant smaller than Halloween the party was still not a tiny get together. Sansa maneuvered her way through the crowd, scanning it in the search of a familiar face. Sweaty, blurry-eyed faces looked back at her curiously and she got several pieces of confetti tangled in her hair as she got caught in the crossfire of a confetti fight on her way into the kitchen. She let out a grateful sigh of relief as she caught sight of someone she knew.
"Loras!" Sansa called out to be heard over the music she was surprised she hadn't been able to hear outside. She supposed she probably couldn't have heard it over the pounding of her own heart.
"Sansa! You made it! Marg will be thrilled!" Loras exclaimed happily, leaning across the counter to try to pull Sansa into a hug.
"Is she still here?" Sansa asked, the thought causing her throat to go dry immediately. She hadn't thought that by the time she got here Margaery might not still be. Sansa felt a sudden surge of horror as she realized that she hadn't texted Margaery to let her know that her flight had been delayed. She had a rule of not texting Margaery as she didn't want to get into the habit of doing so unless it was important and then when it was something important, she completely forgot!
"She's upstairs!" Loras cried before letting go of her to call out to one of his friends who had just arrived. Sansa called a thanks over her shoulder as she shouldered her way past the crowd again towards the stairs, only barely managing to dodge more flying confetti.
She took the stairs two at a time not even bothering to pause to look in any of the rooms on the second floor as she headed towards the ladder. She already knew where Margaery was going to be. She felt even more grateful about her decision to wear pants as she climbed the ladder as quickly as she dared as her hands started shaking in anticipation. There was no one upstairs when Sansa finally entered the room and for a moment, she felt her stomach drop in disappointment before she realized how cold the room was. Noticing the open window Sansa's heart began to speed up as she made her way towards it, hardly daring to breath as she neared it. Seeing a familiar mane of brown hair out the window caused her breath to rush out of her in relief.
Margaery turned at the sound, the corners of her mouth twisting up in delight as she saw Sansa sit down on the windowsill to climb out and join her.
"I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it." Margaery admitted as she reached her hand out to help Sansa steady herself on the cold roof tiles. She didn't remember it feeling as cold up here on Halloween and she'd had on far less clothes than.
"My flight got delayed. I'm such a shit, I should have texted you." Sansa said with a cringe, waiting for Margaery to admonish her.
"It's okay, you're here now." Margaery replied, nudging Sansa softly with her shoulder. Sansa shook her head at herself, when would she realize that Margaery never acted in the way Sansa was used to people doing?
Sansa turned towards her to apologize but stopped short when she realized that Margaery was wearing her Christmas gift. She had made Margaery a scarf as well, which was maybe not as thoughtful of a gift as hers had been since she had made one for everyone as a gift this year but she had taken extra care with Margaery's. She had made it twice as long as the others since she'd noticed Margaery was a fan of longer scarves and she had picked a rich green yarn that accented Margaery's eyes nicely. She had hoped that she would like it but she hadn't really expected her to wear it, at least not so soon.
"You're wearing it." Sansa whispered in wonder, reaching her hand out to run a piece of yarn between her fingers.
"Of course, I am. It's beautiful." Margaery said. "Did you like your gift?"
"Yes. It's perfect." Sansa breathed looking up at Margaery. She swallowed hard when she noticed how close they were and pulled back a little. Less than ten minutes to go. She could make it.
"How was Highgarden?" she asked, not only to kill the time left until midnight but also because she was genuinely curious. She was curious about everything about Margaery.
"Wonderful. Although it is always a little bit sad to see my grandmother's garden in the winter, so many of the flowers are dead." Margaery sighed wistfully.
"They'll grow back, won't they?" Sansa asked, wanting to ease the furrow between Margaery's brows.
"The strong ones will." Margaery assured her, smiling at her as she nudged her shoulder lightly. "The strong ones always grow back."
Sansa smiled at her as Margaery asked, "How was Winterfell?"
"Cold and noisy and wonderful." Sansa said with a grin as she thought of her family. She quietly hoped that next year Margaery would accompany her to Winterfell so that she could experience the knee-deep snow and her brothers Christmas morning wake-up call.
They fell into silence and Sansa couldn't help but wonder if Margaery was counting down the minutes like she was. They were so close to the new year. Her resolution was so close to being over.
Sansa stared out at the lights of the city before her with wonder. She had never seen a city from such a way before, and she found that she could pick out places after a moment. She recognized the lights and the neon signs; some she even recognized the shapes. She had seen more of the city this past year than she had seen in the two and a half years she been there before. She hadn't expected such a simple thing as not dating to affect her life so much but it had.
"The lights really do look like stars." Sansa whispered, recalling the last conversation they had had on the roof together.
Before Margaery could respond the loud cries of the people below them counting down the last minute of the year filled their ears. Margaery smiled at her before joining in on the count, Sansa couldn't help but beam at her as she did the same. Their whispered voices filled the air as the people below them cried out "Happy New year!"
Margaery's fingers brushed Sansa's against the cold tiles of the rooftop as they listened to the cheers below them drift out into the night.
"Happy new year." Sansa whispered, her throat suddenly incredibly dry. She resisted the urge to cough as her skin seemed to burn where Margaery touched her.
"Happy new year." Margaery whispered back, her fingers still just barely brushing Sansa's.
The fact that it was a new year suddenly hit Sansa as did the fact that her resolution was now over. No, not over. Complete.
She had never finished a resolution in her life before. She had always abandoned them when things got too hard, deciding that since the only person who would be disappointed by her failure was herself it didn't really matter if she saw them through. Not this time though, this time she had finished it and she had grown more than she had ever expected to by doing so.
"I actually did it." Sansa mused in shock as she looked out at the city lights. "I actually finished a resolution."
"I'm really proud of you for sticking with it." Margaery admitted, causing Sansa to look over at her with a blush already forming on her face even before she saw the proud smile on Margaery's. "I don't think that I've ever finished a resolution."
"It's never too late to start." Sansa said as she smiled back at her. She kept her eyes on Margaery's despite the fact that she wanted to look away and downplay her words as she admitted, "I'm glad I did it, you know? It was really hard but it helped me grow a lot. I think that this was something I needed to do."
"That makes a lot of sense." Margaery mused, one of her fingers curling around Sansa's. "Are you glad the year is over?"
"So glad." Sansa exhaled with relief causing Margaery to giggle at her exuberance.
"And that means your resolution is over too?" Margaery confirmed, her voice suddenly gone husky and Sansa could swear that her pupils dilated as she looked at her.
Sansa nodded slowly, her heartbeat speeding up as she leaned closer to Margaery as if she was drawn to her by some invisible force.
"Thank the Gods." Margaery whispered before leaning forward to press her lips against Sansa's.
As their lips met Sansa wound her hands into Margaery's hair at the nape of her neck, unsure of what was softer, her hair or her lips. The sounds of the people still cheering the start of a new year drifted out the window towards them as they kissed and the only coherent thought that Sansa could form was that the only thing that would make this more romantic was if it started to snow.
Sansa pulled away just far enough to rest her forehead against Margaery's, happy to find that she was just as out of breath as she was. They smiled at each other as Sansa carefully shifted closer so that there was barely any space left between them.
"I know what my resolution for this year will be." Sansa whispered gently as she curled her fingers into Margaery's tresses.
"What is it?" Margaery asked curiously, reaching one of her hands up to hold Sansa's where it rested against her cheek.
"I'm going to resolve to kiss you every single day." Sansa promised, running her thumb softly over Margaery's face as she smiled.
"That sounds like an excellent resolution to me." Margaery whispered as Sansa leaned in to kiss her again.
Their lips moved against each other like they were made to go together and Sansa found that it was better than any of the kisses she had imagined her and Margaery sharing. She had spent the last year trying to avoid thinking such thoughts but a few always slipped through. Those daydreams were nothing compared to the real thing.
Still kissing her Margaery pressed her back gently, guiding Sansa backwards until she was laying flat against the tiles. In the back of her mind she knew that they were cold but the heat of the woman above her warded off any chill. Sansa kept her arms wound tight around Margaery, not even afraid of the fact that they were laying down on a roof two stories up. She trusted that Margaery would never let them fall.
The only thing Sansa had any intention of falling for was Margaery, but in her heart she knew that she had done that long ago.