The two hours passed by in a blink. Lilah had searched everywhere she could reach: scoured the dirt roads for tire tracks, climbed trees, and looked over the edge of cliffs with the cold fear that she'd see Sebastian sprawled out at the bottom. She was relieved that she hadn't stumbled across anything morbid, but it wasn't enough to put her heart completely at ease. Back at their rendezvous point of the Saloon, none of them had to say a word to each other to know they all had failed. Lilah's body may as well have been made of stone with how sluggishly she moved by the end of her search. Her arms were littered with burs and thorns, the worst of which she was able to pick out by hand while they sat at their table but the rest were imbedded too deep in the gashes they'd created. She'd need to dig them out with tweezers when she returned home.

Abigail's downcast face was covered with coal dust and dirt coated her clothes and knees. Her hair was tangled, wildly curling around her face and knotted near her neck. The ribbon usually tying her bangs back was wrapped around her hand as a makeshift bandage, just as filthy as the rest of her. She folded her arms on top of the table and rested her face in the crook of her elbows. Lilah couldn't tell if she was resting or crying.

Sam's jeans were drenched with seawater and crusted with sand. His bangs were matted to his forehead with sweat and a light sunburn dusted the bridge of his nose. He called Sebastian's cell again and again, desperation seeping into his voice with each message left until the mailbox was full. His eyes screwed shut and he pressed the phone to his forehead, gritting his teeth with barely contained frustration before placing the phone screen-down against the table.

"There has to be some place we've missed," he muttered. Abigail raised her face, eyelids drooping with exhaustion.

"He could still be in the mines. I've just never gone any deeper than the 5th floor." She grimaced. "Should I go back?"

"No, you've done enough," Lilah assured her. Gus arrived with a tray of ice waters and set it down in front of them. Lilah took hers in both hands, watching the condensation pearl at the rim and roll down the glass. Her mouth was dry and she was definitely dehydrated, but staring into the clear water made her stomach roll and she feared nerves would make her vomit the liquid back up. Abigail, however, gulped hers down greedily, water trickling from the sides of her mouth, leaving streaks in the dirt and grime coating her skin.

"Let's just get cleaned up and regroup," Sam muttered, drinking his own water slowly. He checked his phone once more, no new notifications lighting up the screen.

Lilah reluctantly agreed. There was nothing left to do except wait and hope he'd come back, no matter how helpless it made them feel. Even with the three of them sitting together, Pelican town felt so empty. Lilah hadn't felt this way since she had first come to the Valley. It was odd to think about how reliant she had become on Sebastian's presence— how just knowing he was there, somewhere, was comforting— but now that he was gone, missing without a trace, the entire town felt unnaturally chilly and unwelcoming.

Leaving her water untouched at the table, Lilah left the saloon with a heavy heart. Her legs burned with fatigue and her arms stung from the burs still in her skin, but that didn't compare to the thorns wrapped around her heart. She hoped Sebastian called Sam back soon. If she knew he was okay, healthy and safe, then it was all she could ask for. She tried to stay positive, reassured herself that Sebastian would return on his own and things would go back to normal. She didn't want to think of the possibility that he never would. There were too many emotions swirling inside her where he was concerned. None of which she was willing to put a name to just yet, but she would regret it forever if he wasn't there when she finally did.

Maybe it was selfish to ask him to wait around just for that.

As Haven came into view, all the fear and anxiety she'd felt since that morning coiled up and snapped, leaving her breathless and weak enough in the knees that she stumbled over her feet. The bright blue motorcycle parked near the shower was enough to send her heart racing. Seeing Sebastian sitting on her front steps, back hunched casually with a lit cigarette hanging from his lips, got her running.

He snuffed his cigarette out in the dirt and stood, no doubt alerted by the slap of her boots against gravel. He turned to her, eyes widening as she threw her arms around him before he even got the chance to greet her. Her heart was fit to burst, batting against her ribs like the wings of an an agitated hawk trapped in a cage, talons striking the bars of her bones. His hands hovered at her sides for a fraction of a second before his arms hesitantly wrapped around her waist and returned her embrace.

"Where did you go?" Lilah's voice sounded weak, even to her own ears. She wondered for a brief moment if she was hallucinating, if his familiar scent filled her senses from memory alone and his warmth was a mere specter in his stead.

"I just needed to clear my head," his voice was rough, as though he hadn't gotten so much as a wink of sleep all night. He loosened his arms and reached behind his head, gently taking Lilah's wrists in his hands and extricating himself from her hold. "Listen, Lilah. I need to talk to you about…" his words withered away, eyes fixated on her arms littered with fresh cuts and dried blood.

"Don't worry about this, it's not as bad as it looks," Lilah assured him. "We all got a bit messy while we were out."

"We?" Sebastian asked, though Lilah didn't think he actually needed her to elaborate. His brows furrowed, face contorting as though she had just sucker punched him square in the stomach. "What the hell were you guys doing?!"

Lilah shifted on her feet. He looked stricken enough without her revealing that searching for him was the reason their merry band of misfits looked so rough. She worried her lower lip, trying to determine the best way to explain their expeditions without worrying him further.

"This is my fault, isn't it? Fuck…"

"No!" Lilah squeezed his hands, chest tightening at his miserable downcast eyes. "It's not your fault. We just wanted to make sure you were okay, we just didn't know where to look so we split up. We're all fine. Everyone will be so happy to know that you're back."

He didn't seem convinced. He only stared down at her arms, thumbs idly smoothing themselves along her gripping fingers in a way that made her head float.

"Bas, why don't you come inside? I can get cleaned up and we can talk like you wanted," she offered, hoping she didn't sound as desperate as she felt to keep him close. He nodded his head once she gave his hands a pleading squeeze and kept one hand firmly in his grip as he led her up the steps. His eyes stayed glued to their entwined fingers as she unlocked the door and let him inside.

"Go sit down," he said as soon as the door closed. "First aid kit still in the cabinet?"

Bas was already walking towards her kitchenette before she could confirm. She obediently sat at the small pine table she'd appropriated as a dining table while he retrieved the kit and a small bowl of clean water. He shook his head when she reached for it, a comfortable silence lulling between them as he retrieved the tweezers and antiseptic from the small plastic case.

"I can take care of it," Lilah insisted. She reached her palm out to take the tweezers, not expecting Sebastian to take the opportunity to seize her hand and carefully start cleaning the dried blood from her arm with a cloth from the bowl of water.

"This happened while you were looking for me. I can handle this much." He finished wiping her arm down and grabbed the tweezers. He was clumsier than Doc Harvey, but his eyes narrowed with concentration as he carefully extracted the first thorn.

Lilah's heart tangled up in barbs of emotion as she watched him treat her injuries. She knew every spot that very arm had been broken, fractured, and splintered. She knew where each boot-print and bruise had been, could trace them out with a marker from memory if requested. She had been yanked and thrown around by that arm like she was nothing, and worth even less. But, Sebastian held her hand so delicately, as if she would shatter if he put even the slightest amount of pressure on her skin. He was so soft every time he touched her. He treated her like something precious when she couldn't have been further from it if she tried.

She squeezed her eyes shut against the thought. It wasn't true. No matter how many times she had to remind herself that everything she had once thought about herself was wrong, Emery's voice still kept seeping in through the cracks in her defenses. She wondered if she'd ever truly be rid of him—of the dark words he branded into the back of her mind and carved across her skin.

"Sorry, does it hurt?" Sebastian asked. Lilah's eyes shot open, the grimace on his face dousing her with guilt.

"No, not really. It stings a bit but that's not because of you. You're really gentle," Lilah forced her best smile, relieved when Sebastian nodded and continued cleaning her arm. "So, you never mentioned why you left...or where you went."

Sebastian sighed, dampening a cotton ball with some antiseptic and swiping it over her broken skin.

"It was stupid," he admitted. "Demetrius overreacted. Maybe I did too." He double checked her arm before taking the other and inspecting it for leftover thorns. "He went down into my room— I still don't know why— but he found this bag under my bed."

Lilah arched an eyebrow as he fell silent again, as though he wasn't sure how to tell her what exactly had happened.

"So...what? He found your porn stash?"

The tweezers clattered to the table. Sebastian's face burned scarlet as he stuttered with wide eyes and he reeled so far back in his seat, Lilah thought he might tumble to the ground.

"No!"

Lilah laughed, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as Sebastian covered his face and groaned. Eventually, he rubbed his hands along his face and his laughter mingled with hers. He shook his head and shot her a smile that shattered her inside in all the best ways—unrestrained and warm as daybreak. She could see the stress of the day weighing on him just as much as it did her in the dark circles under his eyes, but his laughter brought life back into his face. Even when he retrieved the tweezers from the table and resumed his inspection, his lips curled delicately—privately, just for her.

"I have more than enough hard drives so that no one will ever find my stash," He assured her.

"Challenge accepted." Lilah grinned when he laughed again, his thumb running along the underside of her wrist in a way that she wasn't sure he even knew he was doing it. She relaxed under his touch, even the pinch of thorns being extracted couldn't cut through the buzz beneath her skin from the warmth he infused her with.

"It was a bong," he said at last. "I haven't even smoked in months, but that didn't really matter to him." A bitter laugh, then, "he was more worried that I had given some to Maru, do you believe that? He accused me of trying to fuck up her future."

"Seriously?" Lilah wrinkled her nose.

"He told me she was going places and he 'wouldn't tolerate' anyone messing that up for her. He didn't believe me when I told him I wouldn't have spent the money to get the shit here to Pelican Town just to share it with my stuffy half-sister. She probably wouldn't even know what to do if I offered her a cigarette, much less pot." Sebastian rolled his eyes and cleaned the dots of blood beading from where he'd removed a particularly deep thorn. "He told me he wouldn't have any drugs under his roof, I pointed out it was technically my mom's roof, and so he told me to get out and not come back until I straightened myself out."

"Shit," Lilah sighed.

"Shit," he agreed. "He let me in to grab my wallet and keys and change out of my suit, but then he escorted me out like I was some sort of criminal. I got on my bike and just drove, tossed the bag somewhere on the highway and before I knew it, I was driving over Zuzu Bridge. I considered just staying there, you know? I could have just gotten some apartment downtown and never come back."

"Why didn't you?"

Sebastian didn't answer right away. He finished disinfecting her arm and cleaned the tweezers off with a sanitizing wipe, stashing it back in the first aid kit.

"You asked me to tell you before I left for good. I didn't have anyway to do that without coming back to Pelican Town."

Lilah's chest tightened and she bit her lip.

"So...did you just come back to say goodbye?"

"No? I don't know." Sebastian shook his head. "While I was there, all I could think about was wishing I could see you. I was so tired but...I knew I would have felt better if you had been there with me. I would have been able to think clearly." He naturally took both her hands in his. "Sorry, I don't really know what I'm saying."

"It's okay." Lilah squeezed his hands, feeling her chest flutter at his words.

"...I need to ask you about something." His eyes met hers with such an intensity, it knocked the air out of her lungs. She couldn't do anything but nod when met with that expression— as if just asking her to cooperate filled him with pain. He released her hands and reached into his pocket, retrieving a folded piece of paper and offering it to her. His lips pressed into a grim line as she accepted it. "I saw this while I was in the city."

Lilah unfolded the paper, scanning over its contents with a frown. She saw a picture that she vaguely remembered having taken, her name and birthdate, but her mind rejected the words that littered the rest of page. The more she read, then re-read, then re-read again, the faster her heart pounded. Her blood froze inside of her, stomach rolling and throat constricting as the entire room seemed to drop twenty degrees.

"Bas, what is this?" Her voice squeaked, and she regretted speaking immediately as she wasted what little breath she had left. Her body began to rebel against her, she couldn't hold the flyer still enough to read it any longer, her entire form wracked with shivers that rattled the table they sat at until her vision swam black.

"It was hanging up in a convenience store. Lilah, hang on…"

Lilah pushed away from the table, desperately trying to get air into her lungs. Her violent gasps thundered in her own ears and she gripped the flyer as though it could keep her standing. How many people had seen it by now? Had Sebastian called them and told Emery where she was? Was Emery on his way to the valley now?

"What do I do?" she cried. "That son of a bitch, why would he do this?!" She already knew the answer. He had always warned her, told her she wouldn't survive without him so he would never let her go.

She was stupid to think she could ever escape.

"Lilah, stop! Try and calm down," Sebastian's arms wrapped around her, securing her to his body even as her hands slapped against his chest in panic as her wails morphed into hyperventilations. "Please just listen," he spoke low, just enough to reach her ears over her gasping, "I didn't call them. I didn't tell anyone anything about you. I wanted to find out about it from you first. Please, just breathe."

"I can't ."

"You can." He held her closer and took a slow, deep breath, his chest expanding and moving her body with it. He let it out even slower, then did it again. He repeated it over and over, gently rocking her body with his breathing until she started to mimic him. She still sobbed into his shirt but once she got her breathing under control, he gently pet her hair. "Good. Good job."

"Bas…" Lilah didn't know what she wanted, but saying his name was all her mind could manage without spiraling deeper into a panic. His warmth anchored her to the present, his arms engulfing her senses until nothing else existed around her but him.

"You're okay," he reassured her. "I don't know what this is about, but I'm here if you're willing to tell me. I believe you, no matter what it is."

Lilah looked up at his face. His deep brown eyes were warm, honest, and so full of concern that she felt absolutely disgusting under his gaze. How could he look at her like that? How could he meet her panicked eyes with his and offer such sincere assurances?

"I'm sorry." She tried not to lose it again. "I don't deserve to have you be so worried about me."

"That's not true," Sebastian insisted. "It has nothing to do with being deserving or not. I'm worried because I don't know what's going on. I want to help you, but I don't know how to fix this."

"I'm not sure you can," Lilah lamented. She pressed herself closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and taking a deep breath to keep herself calm. "But, this helps for now."

"Alright. Let's sit you down and get you relaxed a bit more, okay?"

Lilah nodded. She let him lead her to the bed and sat down obediently when he left her to clean up the table. She still clutched the flyer in her hand, the page crumpled from the force of her fist but still painfully legible when she smoothed it out on her lap. It terrified her that Emery would go so far as to use his position in the Metro PD to attempt to find her, it scared her even more that the more she read the BOLO, the more she started to question if it was true. He had covered all the bases, there was no way Lilah could even try to talk her way out of trouble if someone were to confront her about it. She almost couldn't even believe her own excuses for running away when presented with the information printed beneath her picture.

"Lilah," Sebastian's voice snapped her to attention. He held a glass of water out to her, shoulders visibly relaxing when she abandoned the flyer to take the cup with both hands. She sipped it slowly, her heart still thundered with anxiety and she didn't want to drink too fast and trick her body into thinking she was suffocating again. Sebastian took the flyer from her lap and shoved it back into his pocket.

"I'll throw it out so no one else will see it," he told her when she looked up at him. He had no reason to trust her when she wouldn't even tell him anything, yet he was still protecting her. Lilah worried she might start crying again, especially when he took her empty glass and gathered her up in his arms. He seemed so thin when she would see him from a distance, it was easy to forget until she was pressed up against him that his shoulders were broad and secure. She felt safe, like no one would ever be able to find her if she stayed in his hold. She rested her head against his chest and swallowed thickly, her fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie.

She fought through the voice in the back of her head. It shouted for her to run, to leave Pelican Town behind and find another place where no one knew her. It whispered that this was all a trick, that the warmth encompassing her inside and out was only a ploy for someone else to dig their talons into her skin and rip her apart until she was well and truly broken beyond repair. It jeered and taunted her, condemned her, cursed her. But every time Sebastian moved to better cradle her against his body, it ceased like a phantom horrified by the dawn.

"I ran away," she said softly, and once the words started tumbling out of her lips she realized she wouldn't stop.

She would tell him everything.

Sebastian had known the moment he saw her back at Haven: everything on that flyer was a lie. How could it be possible that someone considered "a danger to herself and others" could search so intensely for him and show so much joy at his return that she completely disregarded her own injuries? The thorns in her arms, no matter how guilty they made him feel, were physical proof that Lilah cared more about the safety of others than her own and couldn't intentionally harm another person. He shocked himself by how relieved he was at that revelation, and relaxed as they had laughed together inside her cabin as though nothing had happened. When he brought the flyer up to her, he had expected surprise. He had expected perhaps anger at the person who would print such blatant lies about her and plaster it around the city.

He hadn't expected the horror that slowly overcame her features as she read over it. He hadn't expected her to panic like a caged animal, desperate to put as much distance between her and anything else that could get near her. He had feared she would take off running, so he'd grabbed her. Even now, though she was calmly speaking to him on her bed, he still held her as tight as he comfortably could. He listened intently, desperate to know everything he could so he could better shield her from whatever nightmare had triggered such a terrifying response out of her.

"I ran away. The reason why I came to Pelican Town is because I had nowhere else to go," she revealed. She was warm in his lap but she still shivered as she clung to him, seeming so much smaller against him than she normally did. "I'd only visited Gramps a few times as a kid but he was always the closest relative I had, and I haven't spoken to either of my parents in five years. They disowned me when I moved in with Emery, so I couldn't go to them for help."

Lilah laughed, dry and humorless as she shook her head.

"I was...Maybe sixteen when we started dating. He had just started working for the local police department and Dad hated him. He said he was a user and I'd ruin my life if I stayed with him. But I knew everything and I thought Emery was going to be the one to take me away. About a year after I graduated high school, he told me to move away with him. I was in love, so I packed up everything and moved to Zuzu City with him, far away from my parents and friends. I was scared but it was the only agency that would hire him after he was fired. He made it out to be this huge opportunity for us to get our lives going."

She fell silent. Sebastian could see her pulse thumping along the side of her neck, watched the white glinting of her teeth gnawing at her lower lip. Her eyes were cloudy and distant as they stared across the cabin. He was too afraid to speak up and ask her to continue, nervous that she'd decide not to tell him anything after all. He covered her hand with his, tangled their fingers together, and squeezed. Lilah blinked, turning those eyes up to him, open and vulnerable. He nodded his head once in encouragement and she smiled weakly, squeezing his hand back and taking a deep breath.

"We weren't there a month before things started to change. I hadn't even completely unpacked but he threw out all the boxes that had my books and comics. He said he thought they were trash, but since we were in a new city, starting a new life, it might not be a bad idea to find new hobbies too. I was upset with him, but he told me it was my fault for not labeling them correctly if they weren't supposed to be thrown away. He convinced me eventually that it really was my fault and I never mentioned it again.

"Then, I started a new job at a bar around the corner. I made some new friends but Emery didn't like them for...some reason or other. I don't think he ever told me why but he wanted me to stop seeing them. He punched me and broke my nose for the first time that night when I told him no. Again, he convinced me that it was my fault— that he had to do it because I was spending more time with them and neglecting him. I was so selfish for being angry at him for feeling lonely and not doing anything to make up for it. Everything he did to me, it was because I deserved it."

Bas stiffened. Of all the things he expected her to tell him, this was low on the list. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach as he realized her story seemed far from over.

"He started to set such strict rules for our apartment. If I broke them, even without meaning to, he'd come up with some new way to punish me. Before I knew it, he'd made me quit smoking and quit my job. He deleted every number but his own from my phone and would check the call log every day to make sure I didn't talk to anyone without his permission. At first, I tried to sneak a few things for myself in sometimes—I think I would have gone crazy otherwise. But, one day he caught me smoking outside in the alley and..."

Lilah shifted and lowered the waistband of her jeans down her hip, revealing several perfectly round scars darkening her pale skin and ice-cold fury shot through his body. Bitter curses rose in the back of his throat but he forced them down. It was all he could do to focus his energy on keeping a firm hold of her hand and his breathing even, though he could feel his palms sweating against her trembling body.

"I think he had fun thinking up ways to punish me. Sometimes, it just seemed like he hurt me just because he wanted to or because he was angry at something else. Eventually, I just accepted that...that this was what I deserved. I really believed that he was hurting me because I was a horrible person and I was lucky that he loved me so much to try and fix me. Even when he accused me of cheating on him, I'd find myself believing him even if I hadn't left the house in weeks. He convinced me that I was believing my own lies, even though I knew there was no way I could have done the things he was saying."

Her expression darkened, eyes growing dull and distant, as though she was no longer warming his lap and was instead back in Zuzu City. Back in a small apartment that sounded more like a cage with each passing second.

"I was...crazy. I was crazy and he was the only one that could ever love me because of it. If I left him, I would die. There was nowhere else for me to go and even my own parents wanted nothing to do with me. He told me nearly every day how disgusting I was, what a cheating slut I was. But, as long as he loved me I was willing to stay with him. So, I lived like that for...four years, it must have been. Until...Until I found out that I was…"

The sob that ripped itself from her throat startled him the most out of everything that day. It was inhuman, so full of despair and weakness that Sebastian wasn't sure what he had heard until he saw the tears once again pouring down her cheeks. He could see her desperately trying to rein her emotions in, how she pressed her hand against her mouth and tried to breathe deep through her nose despite the sobs that rocked both of their bodies.

"You don't have to force yourself," He tried to reassure her. She curled into him, shaking her head frantically.

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I'm so sorry. You don't need to hear any of this."

"No. I want you to tell me everything." Sebastian forced her to meet his eyes, hoping she could see just how serious he was. "But if you need to take a break, I don't want you to push yourself. I'll be here when you're ready."

More tears spilled from her eyes and she hiccuped, wiping her face on her arm. He let her collect herself again, a desperate war waging in his chest between the desire to find this Emery and the need to stay right here at Haven, keeping Lilah in his arms and never letting anyone touch her again. He couldn't imagine living with a person that had such a tyrannical rule over his life— his argument with Demetrius seemed so juvenile in comparison to everything she had just told him.

The fact that her story hadn't ended at that man's first strike made his blood boil hotter.

"It happened a little over a year ago. I found out that... shit ...that I was pregnant," she forced out hoarsely. She roughly rubbed at her face again and cleared her throat, but she wouldn't look at him. "I thought, finally , there was no way he'd hurt me now. I thought that once I told him, he'd be gentle with me like when we first met. That he'd tell me he loved me without breaking something for once and we could be happy. But I was wrong. As soon as I told him, he threw me down and...and he said that he knew it wasn't his." She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "I don't really remember what happened next. I woke up in the hospital and they told me I was in an accident and...I couldn't take it anymore. A few weeks later, I was looking for his gun in the closet. I don't know if I meant to use it on him or myself— or if I just meant to scare him into letting me leave. But, while I was in there I found my own lockbox from back home. I don't know why he kept it in there. Maybe he wanted to know what was inside in case it was money but he couldn't get in since it had a combination lock."

Lilah sniffled, pushing her bangs away from her tear-drenched face. A smile finally found its way to her lips and her body relaxed against him for the first time since the start of her story.

"The code was the first day that I had ever met Gramps. There was no way he'd ever be able to guess it. Gramps's will and the keys and deed to Haven were still inside waiting for me. I didn't even remember packing it when I left my dad's house, but there it was.

"He'd told me one day, this farm would save me the same way it had saved him. It felt like, for the first time in years, I wasn't alone anymore. I got a job that I could work from the computer while Emery wasn't home. It was just clerical work but I made sure to delete all my history before he got back and saved all the money I made for a whole year until I could buy my ticket. And, well, you know the rest."

Sebastian took a moment to process everything she had just told him. She watched him from beneath her lashes, teeth worrying her lower lip once again as though she feared he'd call her a liar and turn her in immediately. He held her closer, hoping it'd reassure her while he gathered his thoughts. He wanted to spit curses at the man that reduced her to the cowering mess in his lap, wanted to shove his fists in his face and see how he liked being scared for once. But, Lilah didn't need his anger. It sounded like she'd experienced enough to last her several lifetimes and he didn't want to contribute anymore if he could help it. Instead, he carefully stroked the back of his fingers along her damp cheeks, tucking her hair behind her ears so she would meet his eyes.

"I believe you, Lilah."

She searched his eyes, her expression pleading as she left her fate in the hands that cradled her face.

"I believe you," he said again. He'd tell her over and over until she found whatever it was she was looking for in his stare.

"Bas…" Whatever she'd been searching for, she must have found it. The hurricane in her gaze disappeared as her face drew closer. Her lashes fluttered closed as her lips carefully pressed against his. It was brief, gentle, innocent, but it shot electricity through his nerves through everywhere they touched. She pulled away just enough to whisper "thank you."

His lips chased hers, tilting her face to kiss her more soundly. She gasped, and for one horrifying second Sebastian feared he'd taken it too far. Then, her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed her body into his. She deepened the kiss herself, lips parting and sweetly sweeping the tip of her tongue along his lower lip. He let her in as his hands meandered down her back.

How long had he wanted this without realizing it? The feeling of her lips against his was like that first breath of air after diving underwater. Her small hands roamed across his shoulders, leaving static everywhere they touched. Distantly, he wondered if this was the spark everyone had been boasting about, then her tongue swirled around his and all thought left him. She was obviously much more experienced when it came to kissing, but she didn't seem to mind. She made a soft noise into his mouth, relinquishing control of the kiss as his tongue languidly played with hers. He kissed her slowly, deeply, hoping she could feel everything he couldn't express in words in the way their lips connected. He believed her, he'd do whatever it took to keep from seeing her tear-streaked face again.

He never wanted it to end.

The heat of her palms scorched the bare skin of his abdomen, those roaming hands sneaking beneath the hem of his hoodie when he wasn't paying attention. The shock brought him back to his senses and he groaned, gently taking her hands out from under his clothes and pulling away.

"Ha-Hang on…"

"You don't want to?" Lilah asked gently, resting her forehead against his. The tips of their noses brushed in a way that shouldn't have excited him as much as it did.

"Of course I want to, but…we shouldn't." Sebastian felt like slapping himself. He wanted to feel more of her, kiss her until the sun set and rose again...but it was wrong. He swallowed hard and shook his head against hers. "You've been through a lot today. It's not fair for me to take advantage of that."

She pulled away and stared at him long enough for him to feel like an idiot. When he saw the tears welling up in her eyes again, he felt like a villain.

"Lilah, I'm sorry. It's not that I'm not interested or anything, I swear, I just—

She shook her head, throwing her arms around him once again and holding him tightly against her. She sniffled near his ear, burying her face in his shoulder.

"It's not that. I was just thinking that I wish I had met you years ago," she confessed.

Sebastian sighed, returning her embrace and pressing his lips to her hair.

"So do I."

He carefully lay down, keeping her secure in his arms and only moving again to make sure she was comfortable. She nuzzled her face into his chest, taking one of his hands and holding it to her chest, lacing their fingers between them. Her eyes drooped closed soon after they settled, the exhaustion from her emotional outpour no doubt claiming her for a deep sleep. He watched her sleep for a while, soft breaths warming his skin through his layers of clothing and he knew his decision was made. He had never been more sure of anything in his life, even when he had been certain he wanted to run away to the city and leave all of this behind. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to protect her smiling face and her laughter, protect those nonsense nights spent in his room talking about nothing at all.

He silently promised her as she slept, burying his face in her hair and closing his eyes as his own exhaustion overcame him.