More good stuff from David Tai.

Also, ChemFETS are an actual thing. except it's literally a tool to measure the concentration of a solution. It's incredibly dull. I like this version better. :)

Benimaru Nikaido had never had the misfortune to be in Iori Yagami's site of residence.

It was a small, shady looking one bedroom apartment in the middle of gang territory, located above a sad looking flower shop. It was sparsely decorated and boasted no luxury whatsoever, except for a fancy looking mustang in the carport.

What a barbarian…

Apparently, Iori stayed here for the majority of the year in order to avoid paying his taxes. He seemed to have some asinine idea that if he pretended to be poor, the IRS wouldn't come after him. He had even written 'Miss X' on his lease in a sorry attempt to hide from the Government.

What a weak disguise… I wonder why they haven't arrested him yet? There's no way they were actually tricked…

Benimaru couldn't help but roll his eyes and huff quietly to himself. If only the American authorities had done their jobs and locked Iori away, then Benimaru's 'love quest' would proceed unhindered. Nevertheless, as usual, he would just have to make do. If he wanted something done right, he would have to do it himself. Iori Yagami was up to something, and Benimaru was going to bust him.

So imagine his surprise when, upon breaking into Iori's apartment, there was neither sign of Devil Worship nor any cultish pharenphelia whatsoever. He convinced himself for so long that the red haired man had turned to nefarious means to win Kyo's affections, the the lack of evidence backing his conspiracy was jarring at the least.

There's not even a Kyo shrine anywhere… how can this be?!

Of course, not that Benimaru Nikaido had one, of course. -His- shrine was devoted blissfully to the magnificence that was 'Benimaru Nikaido'.

Benimaru huffed as he stood in the painfully boring living room. He was afraid to sit on the couch (who knew where it had come from), and refused to step foot into the bedroom (who knew what sort of things happened in there?) He leaned over to peek through the bedroom doorway to watch Sylvie tear her way through Iori's rather eccentric closet.

Tsch. Maybe he should raid Iori's liquor cabinet? If he was going to wait on Sylvie to find whatever she was looking for, he was helping himself to something to calm his nerves. Iori was touring in Asia at the moment, so the investigative duo were in no danger of being deep-fried.

Let's see, if I were a nice bottle of Scotch whiskey, where would I be?… ah! The mini-bar cabinet setup!

Benimaru pursued the surprisingly expansive selection before finding a glass and pouring himself a fingerful of Scotch, neat. He leaned against the doorframe and nursed his drink as he watched Sylvie shower the room with undergarments.

What is she even looking for? Weren't we supposed to zap somethi-

"I've found it!" Sylvie crowed, holding up a small box, in front of an opened safe.

Wait, what? Where did... how did she even find that safe?

Approaching Sylvie, Benimaru squinted and rubbing his chin. "I don't get it... what's in that?"

"Patience, Polnareff." Sylvie chirped, as she popped the box open. Benimaru's eyes widened.

"Holy shit, that's a Daytona Exotic!"

It was rumored that one of Iori Yagami's prized treasures was a special Rolex watch, but this was exceeding even Benimaru's wildest expectation. An exotic variant of a Rolex, made popular by Paul Newman, these things ran into the thousands, perhaps millions, of US Dollars. Shit, how Yagami had gotten his hands on one...

And there was Sylvie Paula Paula, prancing around with it held high up in her hands as she did a jiggle dance, her eyeballs bobbing up and down.

Wait...

"Hey, Sylvie, what does that have to do with Chemfets?"

"It's evidence of the secret war that Chizuru Kagura has been fighting with Those From the The Past!"

... What?

Benimaru had listened to some interesting lectures in his time. He'd been present for the King of Fighters tournament briefings, listened to financial briefings, even to investors who wanted his funding for their strange business projects...

But this lecture had to be the strangest he'd even bore witness to.

He had never dealt with was a lecture hosted by an insane human experiment wearing eyeball hairpins, who insisted to illustrate her point with with crayon-scribble on a wall. She drew faces that represented Iori, complete with fanged teeth, and Kyo, with fire emerging from his eyes. There was a broken alarm clock that was yellow-stickied 'ThOsE frOm beYonD', and one bottle of vodka was tagged 'Chizuru'. All hosted on Iori coffee table, at that.

"Okay, so this Chizuru has been fighting a long war..." Sylvie tapped the bottle, before pushing it further away, and taking the hairpins and leaning them against the bottle."She's been using Kyo and Iori to battle this snake..."

Where Sylvie pulled out the rubber snake from, Benimaru didn't even question anymore.

"Orochi. Now Iori and Kyo and Chizuru sealed Orochi..."

WHAM went the bottle on the rubber snake, followed by the hairpins stuck in the eyes.

"But then those from beyond came along, after everyone left..." She pulled off the bottle and the hairpins, leaving the limp rubber snake alone, and moved the clock over. "And they wanted to reinflate Orochi. And that's where the chemfets come in, and..."

An air pump joined the diorama on the table, but before Sylvie started pumping, Benimaru slammed his hand down on the hose. "Just get on with it!"

"Oh. Okay, so Chizuru came up with a plan to stop Axolotl-Man from coming back. Because she needed to be fighting people from the past, she needed some time devices..." She held up the watch. "And then she spent time developing things in Southtown..." A pair of scissors came out, and then...

... was she attaching little wings to 'Iori' and 'Kyo'?

"And so Chizuru decided to grant flight to everyone, so they could fight Orochi." Now Sylvie had a pair of 'winged' hairpins, which she made 'pew pew pew' noises as she flew them towards Orochi. "And so Operation: Sky Stage!"

Benimaru stared.

And then he took 'Chizuru' and took a very, very, very long draught from the bottle.

all complements to David Tai please.