Valka was only 19 when she married Stoick and 20 when she had Hiccup, and just like her son she was different. She was clumsy, couldn't wield a weapon, was more on the artistic/creative side, and sympathized with the dragons. Valka never tried to kill them like Hiccup had done countless times, but once he captured Toothless he became the sympathizer his mother had always been. He was only six months old when Valka left, or should I say taken?

A dragon, her dragon now, Cloudjumper, had broken into her house that night, where Hiccup slept in his cradle, all alone. She rushed to protect him, but what she saw was proof of everything she believed. Cloudjumper meant no harm that night; he was just very curious and brought Hiccup great joy.

"Hiccup laughed," Valka had said as her eyes began to tear up, "Instead of crying like most babies would, he was giggling up a storm. He only started crying whenever Cloudjumper noticed me and accidentally scratched his chin, giving him a scar."

A scar I remember as clear as day. I always thought his clumsiness was the cause of it. Not a dragon.

Cloudjumper, according to Valka, wasn't a vicious beast at all, but was instead an intelligent, gentle creature whose soul reflected her own. She saw herself when she looked into his eyes. Stoick had then barged in, but as he had gone to rescue Hiccup first, Cloudjumper took the opportunity to quickly snatch Valka in his clutches and fly off with her. He brought her to the Sanctuary and it is here she stayed, learning everything there was to know.

"So," I begin when she finished, "you just...abandoned your family?" I said it in the nicest way possible, but I knew a hint of anger slipped through and was heard. I didn't want to start a fight, I didn't want to be rude, but I especially didn't want to just remain confused. I needed answers because I couldn't understand how a mother could just abandon her family. She had the opportunity to return for good but she never did. She only came for supplies. Inside, I was actually pissed. Hiccup needed her, Berk needed her, and where was she? Hiding away to play with dragons!

A pained look flashes across Valka's face, causing me to immediately fill with guilt. "I thought," she starts, her voice tight, and she pauses to clear her throat before continuing, "I thought if I stayed away...they'd be safe."

"Safe?" I repeat. "From what? The dragons?"

She shakes her head. "Me."

For some reason, that one word sent chills all across my body. "Why would you think that?"

She looks away from my probably intimidating gaze and stares deeply into the fire. "They nearly died that night because I couldn't kill a dragon. I didn't feel worthy enough...I didn't...I didn't feel as though I deserved to have wife and mother as my titles. I didn't feel as though I deserved to have them in my life." She tightly closes her eyes so she wouldn't cry.

"So you just…" I angrily shrugged and gestured to our surroundings, "Stayed here while your son grew up without you?"

"Astrid-"

"Oh wait, that's right," my blood was boiling now, "You did come back. For supplies! Whenever you would come during a raid, it was a good distraction for everyone, wasn't it? Stoick and Hiccup would be too busy to notice that their wife and mother who they thought to be dead was stealing right from under their noses. The raids might've helped you, but they never helped Berk and I. They were a pain in my ass. Saving the dragons became a pain too."

"Wait, it was you who has been saving the dragons on Berk?" Valka asked, surprised and completely dodging everything else I had said. "Every time I would go, I would always see a hooded figure saving a few. I never thought it was a Berkian. I assumed it was someone like me. A raider in need of supplies who would help the dragons."

So I was seen after all. I'm really not surprised. I'm just surprised that it was her.

"Yeah, I saved as many as I could." I snapped, standing up so I could angrily pace. "And no I don't hate them. Not anymore. You have your son to thank for that. But I guess you wouldn't have known that. Or did you, since you paid us visits when we were unaware?"

"Astrid-"

"You could have helped us. You could have stopped the war between vikings and dragons years ago. You could have raised your son. He needed you, Valka. Every child needs their mother." My heart ached when I thought of mine. "So...why didn't you?"

"I told you why-"

"No," I interrupted her once more, "I mean, why didn't you ever help us?"

Valka was silent for a moment, her eyes glazed over as though she was watching a memory, and before I could snap her out of it, she answers me in a calm voice.

"Before Cloudjumper brought me here, I tried many times to stop as many dragon killings as I could in Berk, but they all failed. No one would ever listen to me. What proof did I have that Berk could ever change? They never listened to me in the past, not even Stoick. I'm still surprised he even married me since he knew how adament I was about peace with the dragons. I knew that if I came back years later, they still wouldn't listen. They'd see me as a traitor, especially my husband and son."

"Hiccup wouldn't have." I say, strongly, so full of certainty. "He's takes after you. For Thor's sake, you could have taken him with you. You could have taken him away from his bullies. From all of his pain. He could have grown up happy. He could have grown up having a parent who wasn't ashamed to show that they loved him. Because trust me when I tell you this, Stoick wasn't the greatest father."

"He...he wasn't?" Valka asked, eyes full of confusion and disappointment. "Why-"

"Because it's as I said," I interrupt again. "Hiccup takes after you, and perhaps it brought him pain seeing you in him every day. Perhaps he was scared Hiccup would have the same fate as you. Although, when you think about it, he already is living the same fate as you. And I guess...so am I."

I sighed and sat back down, wanting so badly to just run or throw my axe or better yet destroy a bunch of shit. Staring at the fire that separated Valka and I, I wanted nothing more than to set a whole bunch of trees on fire so the world could know how excruciatingly pissed I am at everything. I'm pissed at Stoick, Hiccup, Valka, my mom, the dragons, the Saboteurs. Every single fucking thing.

"You know," Valka started, breaking the silence between us. "If I had taken him, you wouldn't have known him, and he wouldn't have known you."

"Why does that matter?" I asked, as I angrily picked at the furs I was sitting on to distract myself from everything I was feeling. "We weren't ever friends. I never bullied him, but I never stopped it either when it happened. I figured the fishbone had to learn how to fight his own battles, especially since our parents' war was about to become ours. The few times I did speak with him, I was kind of rude, only so I could knock some sense into him though. There was also the time where I sort of beat him up for lying. I wouldn't necessarily call it bullying, but I guess that's for him to decipher. So yeah...why does it matter?" I realized I was rambling and quickly cut myself off, and when I saw Valka's small smile, it threw me completely off, especially her words.

"Because he would never have experienced love if it wasn't for you."

"Love?!" I choked out, once again shocked. "What-"

Valka interrupts me this time, waving off and scoffing. "Oh shush, you can't honestly tell me you didn't know. When Hiccup spoke of you to me it was so completely obvious that he loves you, and the way you spoke of him," she chuckles, "I can say the same for you."

My face became hot, but I blamed the heat of the fire. "Being away from humans has driven you completely mad. I don't love him. I admit that I may have had a tiny crush on him when we were children, but it was nothing serious. It quickly went away when I hit my preteens and realized the reality of the war. I was too busy training to be a warrior to even think about love. Death and being the greatest dragon killer was the only thing on my mind. And sure he showed me the true beauty of dragons, a world in which he opened my eyes to see, a world I couldn't even imagine, which in doing so showed me his true self, and sure it gave me hope, but I never...stop looking at me like that."

She was originally smirking, but it turned into a huge ear to ear grin. It reminded me of Ruffnut and Tuffnut. I wonder what their votes were. Did they cast me out or did they want me to stay? I know Snotlout wanted me to stay. Was I really betrothed to him or did he lie thinking it would help me out? I guess I'll never know. I really hope it was a lie.

"You ramble just like your mother," Valka said, laughing lightly. "How is she by the way?"

"Dead," I say coldly. "And perhaps that's a good thing."

And with that, I stood up once more, and left the cave to wander off. Valka did not follow, but my angry tears did.