When Manuela entered the flat, she half expected to find it bathed in blinding light, her furious wife waiting for her in the living room with a look of quiet disdain on her face. This had happened so many times before that she found herself almost wishing for the familiarity of it as fumbled to open the front door. This, at least, she knew how to handle. Therefore she was surprised, and quite awkwardly disappointed to find the place dark and silent. She rubbed her forehead and sighed, discarding her shoes with the other hand.

Clumsily, she padded her way through the hallway and living room, bumping into the furniture multiple times and swearing at herself through gritted teeth for being such a darn, verdammter Idiot! With great effort, she reached the bedroom and pushed the door open as soundlessly as possible and held out her breath. Again, the room was dark but she could clearly notice the form of her sleeping wife. Manuela made her way to the bed, desperate to be closer to her, and she sat on the edge, careful not to disturb her slumber. She could barely make out her traits through the obscurity, but she already knew them by heart, and at her side, her fingers twitched, aching to trace the outlines of the face she adored. To Manuela, there was nothing more soothing than watching Elisabeth's sleeping face. When she was awake, the other woman often shied away from her scrutiny and hid her discomfort by scolding at Manuela, asking if she had nothing better to do, really. No. She never had anything better to do. Unable to hold back any longer, she allowed her fingertips to brush against the delicate skin of her jaw just slightly, with utmost reverence.

Elisabeth sighed and seemed to lean into the touch, and Manuela's heart skipped a beat. Her mouth opened in awe and her thumb travelled across the woman's cheek, almost of its own accord until it skimmed over her lower lip. It was Manuela's turn to sigh at the incredible softness she felt there. Unconsciously, she reached up to touch her own mouth, almost as if to place an indirect kiss against Elisabeth's open lips. As she did, the memory of foreign lips pressed against hers came back to her and her eyes closed in shame. This had really happened, then. She truly had been kissed by someone else as her trusting wife was peacefully asleep in their bed. As guilt threatened to swallow her whole once more, she felt Elisabeth move under her open palm and stir.

"Manuela…" she slurred.

The younger woman held her breath, ready to apologise, but Elisabeth simply rolled on her side and fell into an even deeper slumber. Talking in her sleep was some sort of habit the older woman did not know, or rather refused to acknowledge that she had. Usually, Manuela never missed a chance to tease her about it. But tonight, her wife's quirk did not seem amusing at all, instead causing a loud sob to escape from her mouth.

"It's okay, darling," a still sleepy Elisabeth told her, instinctively reaching out to her side of the bed, and Manuela collapsed in tears over her sleeping body.

"Hm-Manuela…" she said again, only more alert this time.

"Don't mind me," the younger woman said between sobs. "Go back to sleep."

Quite expectedly, this had the opposite effect.

"What is going on?"

"Nothing… Really."

Even in the darkness of the room, Manuela could see Elisabeth narrowing her eyes threateningly, and she should not have been surprised to see her push back the covers and fumble to light up the bedside lamp.

"What is going on?" she asked again, now hovering over Manuela quite threateningly.

"I-I don't know," Manuela mumbled.

"You don't know?"

Almost on instinct, Manuela rose up, only to fall on her knees in front of the standing woman, in complete surrender.

"I'm sorry," she wailed, and threw herself against Elisabeth's body.

"Manuela, you're scaring me! What is it?"

The actress ignored the question and repeated her apologies over and over again, pressing open mouth kisses against the covered skin of her wife's stomach. Elisabeth, still drowsy, involuntarily closed her eyes at the sensation of Manuela's warm breath through the flimsy fabric of her nightgown, and she let her fingers weave through her hair soothingly. She knew that there would be no discussion until Manuela had calmed down.

Almost as if reading her mind, Manuela lifted her head slightly and said, "I just- I just need to cry for a little while."

Elisabeth could not help but smile at the adorable confession, and she brushed a stray tear away with her thumb. "Then cry."

The younger woman simply nodded and pushed her forehead back into her lower belly, linking her arms around her waist in a vice-like grip. They remained like this for a long while, Manuela sobbing uncontrollably and holding onto her wife for dear life while Elisabeth gently rocked them back and forth, cradling Manuela's head in her hands. Finally, as the sobs subsided and she no longer felt the younger woman shake so much against her, Elisabeth pushed her slightly by the shoulders, and looked at her swollen, tear-stained face. To her, the sight of her Manuela so distraught was close to unbearable, but she willed herself to remain calm.

"Now…" she said, her tone firm but warm. "Get out of these clothes and get into bed. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Manuela erupted, tightening her hold around her waist even more.

"To get you a glass of water."

The younger woman nodded and, quite reluctantly, released her hold.

When Elisabeth came back a few moments later, she found Manuela in bed, just as she'd asked her, but quite surprisingly, entirely naked.

"I couldn't find my nightgown," she quickly explained, sounding as apologetic as she looked.

"I washed it this morning," Elisabeth chuckled, pushing a glass of water under her nose. "Do you want me to fetch you a fresh one? Not that I mind…"

"No. Stay here."

"Yes, darling. I am here," she said, sitting down on the bed next to her wife and watching as she gulped down the water obediently. "So… would you like to tell me what had you so overwhelmed just now?"

She noticed how Manuela averted her eyes as she placed the glass back down on the bedside table and added, "You know you can trust me with anything. Don't you?"

"You will hate me…"

"Why are you saying these things?" she urged, taking the other woman's face between her hands and forcing their eyes to meet. "I could never hate you."

"Never? Are you really so sure?"

And then, some sort of realisation seemed to down on Elisabeth, and she recoiled.

"Manuela? Have you…" she murmured, almost unwilling to form the words. "Have you killed someone?"

The question came as a bit of a shock to them both, and for a split second, the younger woman almost seemed confused. Had she? She frowned.

"No…"

"Then what? What is it?"

"Someone kissed me," Manuela finally blurted out.

Elisabeth's face remained blank, almost as if she had not heard what Manuela had just said.

"Elisabeth? I said-"

"Yes, I heard what you said perfectly well," the other woman snapped, letting go of her face.

"I didn't realise… I didn't want it, I swear."

"Who?"

"What?" Manuela blinked.

"Who kissed you?"

"I- this was…"

"Who?" Elisabeth reiterated, this time quite forcefully.

"Abigail!" Manuela almost yelled, closing her eyes at the admission. "I swear I didn't expect any of it. It had been a shitty representation, and she came in out of nowhere with a bottle of very good whisky and we started talking… And it simply felt good to talk to someone, for a change. I'm so, so sorry. I'm an idiot and I don't deserve you and I…" Manuela stammered, and burst into tears once again.

Elisabeth did not even have the strength to remain stoic and draped her arms around her crying wife's shoulders.

"Stop it. Don't ever say things like this, do you hear me?" she ordered and Manuela could only acquiesce mutely. She visibly relaxed, and hugged the younger woman tighter against her. "I should be the one asking for your forgiveness, all things considered."

"You? But why?"

"Because," Elisabeth started, reclining slightly to look into Manuela's eyes. "For some reason, it felt safer for you to stay at the theatre with a girl you barely knew instead of coming back home to me when all you wanted was to talk. And I understand that I am to blame, for having pushed you away far too many times."

"No, darling. No," Manuela let out urgently. "None of this is your fault!"

"But it is, at least partly." With that, Elisabeth stood up, and went to turn off the light, before quickly getting under the covers next to Manuela, who immediately snuggled against her side.

"So you're not mad?"

"At you? Never."

After a moment, Elisabeth's voice resounded again in the quiet room, deliberately nonchalant. "You did not… kiss her back, did you?"

"What? Of course not!" Manuela assured, scandalized. "I pushed her away with all my might, poor girl… I mean- this was well-deserved, of course."

"Really now?"

"Elisabeth, come on. You know that you are the only one I have ever kissed in my entire life. Well, apart from Yvette. And…"

"And Treskow, but once and as a dare. Yes, I know," Elisabeth interrupted with a sigh but still drew the other woman closer to her.

"Exactly. Nothing to be jealous of."

"I am never jealous."

"Right. And neither am I."

"Of course not," Elisabeth chuckled and was quickly joined by the younger woman.

"But I'd like for us to promise each other something, however," Manuela ventured, suddenly sounding very serious. "Let's talk more now, yes? And let's stop keeping things for ourselves until we explode. Alright?"

"Y-yes…" Elisabeth let out with incredible difficulty.

"Okay then," Manuela murmured, and settled more comfortably against her wife. After a short while, she fell into a deep, relaxed slumber. Elisabeth did not.