Chapter 21: Struggling
Santana's POV
Brittany and I are just sitting down to breakfast. Brittany has a big test today so while she's having breakfast she's going through some of her notes. I can tell she's really nervous about it but I'm sure she's going to do great because she's super smart and I can see how hard she's working. I on the other hand, I'm pretty excited about today. Since Brittany is going to be out for a few hours then I'm getting to look after Aiden all day and we're getting into a slightly better routine now so I know what I'm doing.
"Hey babe" I say to get Brittany's attention.
"Yeah" she replies looking up from her notes.
"If I don't get a chance to say later then good luck in your test today" I tell her.
"For the tenth time babe, it's not a test; it's an exam" Brittany states slightly annoyed. "There's a difference, exams are way harder than tests."
"I'm sorry, exam" I smile. "Honey there is no need to get worked up because you're super smart and it's an open book test anyway so you'll have all your things in front of you."
"I'm not worked up" Brittany shrugs but I can tell she's trying to play it cool even though the nerves are building up inside her.
"I can tell by your tone you're getting nervous but all I'm saying is don't be because you have your material in front of you" I say.
"Yeah but they'll be a lot stricter with the grades because of that. Since we have our books with us then we should know the subject well and even be able to add in things that the books don't tell us to show we can do independent study" Brittany replies.
"But that's what you have been doing anyway since you haven't been going into lectures and things because of Aiden" I say.
"I suppose" she shrugs.
"Look honey, it's just the first major piece of coursework anyway so as long as you pass you've got nothing to worry about. You might just need to make sure you do better on further assignments if that is the case" I say. "There's plenty of time to redeem things if you don't get as good a grade as you hope. I mean you don't want to go in their shitting yourself and end up doing badly because you are so stressed so you just need to stay calm anyway regardless of what happens."
"I appreciate that babe but try and not swear around Aiden" Brittany says while leaning over to kiss my cheek.
"Sorry, it just slipped out" I reply. "He won't have picked up on it yet but I get that you don't want me to get into the habit of swearing in front of him because when he is more aware he'll end up repeating me."
"Yeah" Brittany smiles.
"Hey if you need to get ready then I'm all good here to clean up" I say noticing Brittany begin tidying up her breakfast dishes.
"Are you sure?" she asks.
"Of course, I've got Aiden to help me anyway" I smile, "he likes watching the bubbles float through the air from the soap when I'm washing the dishes."
"Ok" Brittany smiles before leaving the room to get ready. As soon as I've cleared up, I take Aiden through to the living room and we start playing with his toys.
"I meant to ask, do you want a ride or are you just going to drive?" I ask as Brittany walks into the room.
"I'll drive and it'll let you have time to get yourself ready" Brittany smiles.
"Do I not look respectable or something this morning?" I tease.
"With Aiden's sick in your hair, not really" Brittany smirks.
"Hold on, what?" I ask while frantically running to the nearest mirror. "Aiden, honey. You're ruining mom's appearance" I say jokingly before going over to tickle him.
"Um…excuse me" Brittany states. "You have a little sick in your hair, I carried him for 9 months. I think my appearance is more affected than yours."
"It's not a competition Brittany" I reply playfully.
"Well if it were, I'd be winning" Brittany smiles.
"No I wouldn't say that, you look pretty good to me" I tell her.
"Not as good as you though. I may have caught a glimpse of you in the shower this morning and I may have quite enjoyed what I saw" Brittany winks.
"Oh really?" I smile while walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her. "Were you being sneaky about it because I certainly didn't leave the bathroom door open?"
"Aiden was asleep so I figured I'd quickly grab my moisturiser to moisturise when I had a spare moment" Brittany shrugs.
"Is that your excuse, huh" I tease.
"It's not an excuse, it's the truth" Brittany tells me as she wraps her arms around me.
"Are you sure it's the truth because as I remember you keep your moisturiser in the other bathroom now because it's easier to hear Aiden from that bathroom" I point out.
"Ok so I just went in there to look at you" Brittany laughs. "Is that such a crime?"
"If I walked in on you in the shower on purpose you wouldn't be happy about it, would you?" I smirk.
"No but that's different" Brittany replies while looking down. "Your body hasn't changed since Aiden but mine has" she pouts.
"My body is also not the same as it was when I was 18, things happen but you still love me right?" I say.
"I didn't know you at 18" Brittany frowns.
"Yeah but you love me now. I was way hotter at 18 than I am now but you still love me anyway" I say.
"Ok first of all, from the pictures I've seen you look hotter now and secondly I'd love you no matter what you looked like and that's not just me sweet talking you" Brittany smiles.
"And I feel the exact same way about you" I smile back.
"I'm just not used to my body changing that's all. I don't mean to be insecure" Brittany says.
"I think you look great anyway, I'm certainly not complaining" I say. "So anyway, let's get back to your leering."
"I wasn't leering, I was just having a quick look" Brittany laughs.
"If you're lucky tonight then I could let you have a longer look" I smirk.
"I would really like that but right now your son is staring at me and it's putting me off slightly" Brittany jokes.
"Hey if you didn't have a look at what I had to offer, he wouldn't be here" I joke back.
"Anyway if we can I will take you up on that offer later but right now I need to get going" Brittany says.
"Yeah I should probably give Aid some attention" I say going over to pick him up.
"Now the exam only takes 2 hours but I've left 4 bottles of milk for Aiden so that should be plenty until I'm back" she tells me.
"Yeah that's fine babe" I reply.
"Do you need me to pick anything up from the grocery store on the way home?" she asks.
"There is a few things we need so how about we both go once your exam is done. I'll get Aiden all ready for you getting home and we can just go straight there, I'll drive if you want" I say.
"Ok cool" Brittany smiles. "I best be off now."
"Ok" I nod before kissing her.
"I'm going now Aid" Brittany smiles at him.
"Are you going to give mommy a good luck kiss" I say while holding Aiden towards Brittany. He puts his head to the side and looks at her intently before putting his hand out and touching Brittany's hair.
"It's not a kiss but I'll take it" Brittany smiles at him again before kissing his head.
XXX
"This will be Aiden's first trip around the grocery store since you went the last few times yourself" Brittany says as we drive to the store.
"That's right" I nod. "I can't say I'm looking forward to putting him into a dirty cart with lots of germs to be honest though."
"That's fine, we can just take his stroller and someone can push that and the other can push the cart" Brittany says.
"Yeah that's a better plan because I don't know how many kids have been put into those seats on the carts. There'll be germs everywhere and I doubt the carts ever get cleaned" I state.
"Do you know I find your OCD very endearing" Brittany smiles. "Your sister makes fun of you all the time about it but I find it really cute."
"It's not OCD, I just get a little apprehensive now and again since we have Aiden. Before all I had to worry about was myself but now we have a baby to worry about so I don't want him getting sick or anything" I say.
"I appreciate that and I don't want him to get sick either but sometimes you need to expose kids a little so they can build up a good immune system. I mean Aiden is probably far too young just now but like it's good to expose toddlers a little bit" Brittany says.
"I get that but he's just 4 weeks old just now" I say.
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Wednesday 26th February 2020
"You'll be able to get a lot more coursework done today since I'll be looking after Aiden" I say as I play with Aiden while Brittany is getting ready.
"Aren't you working today?" Brittany asks confused.
"I am, but its take your son to work day" I reply.
"No it's not" she smiles.
"It is babe" I tell her.
"No it's really not honey" she laughs.
"Fine, ok" I playfully sigh. "I will be taking Aiden to work with me though anyway. That way you can get your work done in peace."
"Santana that's not the reason you're taking him. I mean, yes you would do that for me because you're so kind but I know the real reason as to why you're taking Aiden to work" Brittany says.
"I don't know what you mean" I say playing dumb.
"You just want to show him off to everyone" she smiles.
"No that's not…I mean…fine you got me" I laugh.
"It's ok though, if you want to take Aiden to work then it's cool with me. Like you say, I'll get more of my studying done" Brittany smiles.
"Cool" I smile back. "So uh, should I make a start on breakfast?"
"Yeah, ok. I'm almost done here so I can look after Aiden while you're preparing it" Brittany says.
"Cool" I smile.
As soon as we've eaten breakfast, Brittany helps me get Aiden ready for the day and then I leave for work with him.
XXX
Aiden is peacefully sleeping so I'm just sitting at my computer in my office going over some things taking advantage of this quiet time. I get about 20 minutes work done before someone knocks at the door interrupting me.
"Come in" I say while looking up at the door, internally praying whoever it is hasn't woken up Aiden.
"Hey" Quinn smiles as she walks into the room.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I smile while going over to hug my best friend.
"I just thought I would come and visit you since I was nearby plus we haven't seen one another in a while" Quinn smiles. "A week I guess but that's still a while."
"That's cool, come and sit down" I say pointing to an empty chair.
"Thanks" Quinn says while sitting down.
"So how are you?" I ask.
"I'm good, Harry is with your brother today so I thought I'd have some alone time before I quickly got bored so decided to come and see you" Quinn replies.
"Well I'm glad I can entertain you" I joke.
"Yeah" Quinn laughs. "So what's happening with you?"
"Not much. Brittany is busy studying hard and I've been…" I can't finish my sentence because Aiden starts crying so I rush over to him. "Hey sweetie, what's wrong?"
"You have no idea how much of a fright I just got Santana. I didn't even know he was here" Quinn says while putting her hand over her chest.
"Sorry" I laugh.
"So what's going on here, why is Aiden here?" Quinn asks slightly confused.
"I decided to bring Aiden to work to give Brittany some time to study and obviously to show off the cutest boy in town. Doesn't he look so handsome today especially wearing his little tie?" I say smiling at Aiden.
"He's cute but not as cute as my son" Quinn smirks.
"Whatever" I wave it off.
"So no offence but can you actually get much done when he's here?" Quinn asks.
"Yeah I can actually. He's settled into a routine pretty quickly which I was surprised about so I know how to fit things around him" I reply.
"That's cool" Quinn nods. "Harry wasn't quite into a routine yet at that age but he's a lot better now obviously."
"Yeah he behaved amazingly last week at his birthday party" I say.
"Yeah he did actually. I think he likes it when there's a lot of people around" Quinn replies.
"He liked Aiden anyway which was cute" I smile.
"Yeah it was" Quinn agrees. "So anyway, how's Brittany?"
"Still my wife which is good" I joke.
"Yeah I'm surprised she's still with you considering how flirtatious you are with everyone" Quinn smirks.
"That's not funny, I don't flirt with anyone but Britt" I state but I know she's only joking.
"Seriously though, how is Brittany coping with motherhood?" Quinn asks. "I mean I guess you'll both have slightly different views on things since you're back at work and Brittany has only just got back to uni."
"She seems to be coping really good" I smile.
"And you?" Quinn asks.
"Yeah…I...uh, I'm doing well too" I say while putting Aiden back down since he's settled now.
"You don't sound too sure" Quinn points out.
"No I am good, it's just as much as I love that we have Aiden now, I also kinda miss Britt" I say honestly. "I don't mean she has changed or anything, I just mean we never get time just the two of us anymore because when I'm working she has Aiden and when she's at uni Aiden is either with me or he's with one of our parents and I'm at work. There's never a free time where we're both there, not even with Aiden anymore" I say.
"It's hard for me to compare because I wasn't at college so I didn't have those pressures on me. I was basically off work looking after Harry for about 8 months" Quinn replies.
"I suppose" I nod. "I mean even at nights now Brittany is so busy with college work that I look after Aiden and she sits in the study all night. The only time we get any time together is in bed and that's just to sleep because we've been so busy."
"All that's to be expected though Santana. Things will come gradually just like they did with Aiden's routine. I mean at least he's settling down a bit better now, can you imagine having that on top of how you are busy right now?" Quinn says.
"You do have a point and I mean I did know this would happen and I am ok with it, I just can't help but really miss Britt" I say.
"She misses you too though, don't you think?" Quinn asks.
"Yeah I know she does" I nod.
"Hey maybe you could just ask your parents to have Aiden one night or I could even have him and that'll let you two have some alone time" Quinn suggests.
"Yeah my parents or Brittany's wouldn't mind at all to have him but that's not the only thing at the moment" I say. "See Brittany didn't want us to do anything until her 6 week check-up so we've been kinda staying away from that kind of thing."
"Yeah I get that" Quinn nods.
"Did you want to wait until at least your check-up too?" I ask.
"Yeah because you don't want to rush anything in case your body hasn't quite healed or whatever. I mean generally everything is fine but sometimes the muscles get a little weak" Quinn replies.
"Was everything ok for you then?" I ask.
"Mostly but I did have a little back pain to begin with but the doctor told me to do some exercises and it was fine in no time" Quinn replies.
"So how long did you need to wait after having Harry before you had sex?" I ask. "I mean I'm not pressurising Britt or anything, I'm just wondering how long I need to wait if things did take a little longer."
"It really depends on the person to be honest" Quinn replies.
"That's cool. I just thought I'd ask you because I didn't want Britt to think I was rushing her so I wanted to be respectful but it has been a while" I admit.
"Like I say, Brittany is probably feeling the same as well" Quinn says and I nod.
"So how long for you personally was it?" I ask.
"Well that's different because I wasn't with your brother when I had Harry plus do you really want to know about Jason and me?" Quinn smirks.
"No I do not" I frown. "I was totally forgetting it was my brother" I say trying to shake this thought out of my head. I guess that's what I get for being so nosy but I was just curious how others feel right now.
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Friday 28th February 2020
"Ok I'll do Aiden's check-up first and then we'll do yours Brittany" the doctor says. We're sitting in the doctor's office for Brittany and Aiden's check-ups.
"Ok no problem" Brittany smiles.
"If you just want to place Aiden on the couch here Santana that would be good" the doctor replies.
"Are you going to be a good boy for the doctor" I say smiling down at him before placing him down on the couch.
"I'm sure he will be" the doctor smiles at Aiden while beginning his check-up.
Brittany and I just sit and watch the doctor examining him. We're both a little apprehensive because Aiden hasn't really been around that many people other than our family so we don't want him to get scared and start crying.
"Ok, everything is looking great with Aiden. I'm really happy with his progress" the doctor smiles.
"That's good, I'm glad" Brittany says relieved.
"Are you going to go back to your mom now while I get your mommy checked over" the doctors says while lifting Aiden off the couch and placing him on my knee.
"You did good sweetheart" I say kissing his head. I had expected him to cry a bit during the examination but he really didn't.
"Ok Brittany, I'm just going to take a note of your weight first and then I'll check your blood pressure" the doctor says. "Why don't you just step onto the scales for me" she says and Brittany nods.
Once Brittany steps on the scales, it confuses me because the doctor seems to frown suddenly while noting down Brittany's weight.
"Ok Brittany, you can step off now" the doctor replies slightly concerned.
"What's wrong?" Brittany asks confused.
"Let's just finish the check up and then we'll sit down and talk" the doctor smiles.
"Um…ok" Brittany says taking a seat next to me and the doctor. "You're making me nervous now though so isn't that going to affect my blood pressure?"
"There's nothing to be nervous about, don't worry" the doctor smiles.
"Ok" Brittany says still confused.
As soon as the doctor finishes the check-up and puts all her notes into the computer, she swings her chair around to face Brittany.
"So…I want to talk to you about a few things" she says looking concerned.
"Why are you doing that?" I glare. "You say there's nothing to worry about but then you have this concerned look across your face" I state. I really wanted to bite my tongue but I just couldn't. The doctor isn't exactly filling me with confidence right now and I'm worried there's something wrong with Britt.
"I don't want you to get panicked that's all but there is something we need to discuss" the doctor replies.
"Ok, what is it?" Brittany asks.
"Your weight seems vastly different than before Brittany" the doctor replies.
"Well is that not just because I've had a baby so I've gained a lot more weight during the pregnancy" Brittany states.
"Yeah I mean it happens all the time when you're pregnant doesn't it?" I say confused.
"No I mean before you were even pregnant. When I last weighed you during the pregnancy you had put on some weight which like you both said is normal but now it's vastly different" the doctor replies.
"Yes because I've gained weight during the pregnancy" Brittany snaps starting to get frustrated with the doctor.
"Honey…" I say placing my hand on her knee to calm her down.
"I'm sorry, I should have been clearer. I mean you are a lot lighter than you've ever been. I wasn't talking about gaining weight, I was talking about you losing it" the doctor says.
"Oh" Brittany says surprised.
"Have your eating habits changed a lot since you had Aiden?" the doctor asks.
"I didn't think they had" Brittany shakes her head.
"You're back at work Santana so have you been eating with Brittany when you get home or have you been eating separately?" the doctor asks.
"No we eat together" I nod.
"And has your weight changed at all?" the doctor replies.
"Not that I know of which is weird why Britt's has. I mean I make breakfast for both of us in the morning and we have dinner together at night. I mean the only time we don't eat together is lunch and surely that's not going to make a huge difference" I state.
"Maybe the scales weren't calibrated properly" Brittany shrugs.
"I've got another set here so let me quickly weigh you on those" the doctor says. She and Brittany then walk over to the other set of scales.
"Have these given a different result?" Brittany asks as she steps on.
"No they're just the same" the doctor sighs.
"I don't understand this" I say as Brittany and the doctor sit back down.
"Like I say I don't want to panic you but it is unusual to lose this amount of weight already. I mean Aiden is only 6 weeks old and you're already lighter than you've ever been Brittany" the doctor says.
"Couldn't this just be because I'm a new parent and I haven't gotten into a routine yet? I mean I've been running around like a crazy person trying to do everything so maybe I'm burning off the weight" Brittany says. "I mean you've no idea the number of times I go up and down the stairs, just yesterday I came down with Aiden's washing and completely forgot to bring Santana's down too so I had to run back up and get it. Then this morning I had too much to carry downstairs so I had to make a few trips, I had Aiden the first time, then when Santana fed him I had to run back up and get clean clothes for him and then the third time I forgot my phone and a pile of my coursework that I was going to work on."
"That could be a possibility because a lot of new mothers feel like that where they're running around all the time getting everything done" the doctor says.
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Saturday 29th February 2020
I'm just sitting relaxing in front of the TV with a magazine making the most of the peace and quiet. My mom called earlier in the day and asked if we wanted her to babysit Aiden because she was looking after Harry anyway so she thought it might be nice for them to spend some time together since they're cousins. Brittany seemed cool with it so I suggested that we make most of the time we had together and went out for lunch, just the two of us. As much as we love Aiden, it was really nice getting to talk about adult things and not about diapers and milk and cleaning up baby sick.
"Hey baby" Brittany says seductively as she walks into the room.
"Uh…hi" I say slightly surprised.
"I just got off the phone with your mom and she's happy to keep Aiden for the night and she'll bring him home tomorrow around lunchtime" Brittany smiles.
"Ok, cool" I smile.
"So yeah that's all I need to say. I'm just going to head straight upstairs to bed now if you're interested in joining me" she smiles. "I must warn you though, a terrible hot feeling has come over me so I'm going to have to lose the clothes."
"I can be down with that" I smirk.
"Come on then" she says while making her way upstairs. I quickly follow after her.
As soon as we get to our bedroom, I kick the door shut and Brittany wraps her arms around my waist. I smile before wrapping my arms around her neck and leaning in to kiss her.
"I've missed this" Brittany says leaning her forehead against mine, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too" I smile.
"Shall we move this to the bed?" Brittany asks with a slight smirk across her face.
"Sounds good to me" I smirk back.
We quickly begin undressing before getting into the bed. Brittany leans down and kisses me a few times before moving to straddle me.
"Hey what if I wanted to straddle you right now?" I tease.
"Well you can do that in round 2" she smirks.
"Fine by me" I smile while leaning up to catch her lips.
We kiss for a few more seconds before Brittany begins her trail down to my neck. I reach up and place my hands on Brittany's waist. Suddenly the moment I do that, everything comes crashing towards me in my head. It's like everything has come together and now makes sense all because of one touch. I can literally feel Brittany's hip bones piercing her skin and I can see flashbacks of this morning. I did make her breakfast as usual but I wasn't actually there when she ate it. I had to rush upstairs to get Aiden ready for my mom and during lunch we were too busy talking and just having fun just the two of us that I didn't really notice how much she ate.
"Wait a second" I say pushing Brittany gently off me. Regrettably so might I add but I can't not say anything about this. We need to talk about it.
"What's wrong?" Brittany asks, slightly confused but worried at the same time.
"I think the doctor was right babe" I say gently.
"What are you talking about?" Brittany asks confused.
"You are losing weight Britt" I sigh.
"Maybe so but it's probably just because I'm running around after Aiden all the time so I'm getting exercise when I don't even realise it" Brittany smiles. "We've already talked about this babe" she says while straddling me again.
"Honey, talk to me" I say gently. I don't want to just say how I feel right now, I want to encourage Brittany to tell me first.
"Talk to you about what" she shrugs. "I just told you what's going on so can we forget about it please. We've finally got a night alone so let's be alone and do something fun" she smirks.
"Talk to me about this weight issue" I reply.
"There is nothing to say babe, honestly" Brittany smiles while leaning down to kiss me. "I finally have the all clear from the doctor so can we please take advantage of that."
"Brittany, please" I say stopping her from kissing me.
"Babe if you don't want to have sex with me right now, just say. There's no need to make up excuses to get out of it" Brittany says while sitting up slightly but still straddling me. "I'm a big girl, I can handle it don't worry."
"This isn't what this is Britt" I shake my head. "I've been dying to have sex with you for ages" I chuckle slightly, "but seriously though, we need to talk."
"About what?" Brittany sighs getting frustrated.
"About why you have stopped eating" I state.
"I haven't stopped eating" Brittany states. "I've just been super busy lately that my diet has changed but I still eat."
"Barely" I shake my head. "Please can you just open up to me" I say almost begging her.
"If we keep talking we're going to start an argument and I'm not doing that right now. This is our first night away from Aiden and it's supposed to be fun" Brittany says while getting off the bed.
"I want to try and understand what's going on. We need to talk Brittany, I need to know why you don't eat anymore" I say worriedly.
"I do eat Santana" Brittany snaps. "Don't make it out as if I never eat anything because that's not true. I eat all of my main meals, it's just sometimes I'm really busy so I work it off a lot quicker."
"You're lying to me honey. I know and you know that you have stopped eating" I state. "I'm here for you so please let me understand."
"Why don't you believe what I'm saying?" Brittany asks annoyed while walking out of the room causing me to quickly follow her.
"Because it's all adding up now and I can see there's more to this issue than just being busy" I tell her.
It's all just came to me but now I've realised a few things. I'm never actually there when she eats breakfast even though I make it before I leave and obviously I'm never there at lunch either. I also haven't seen her snacking at all in a good while plus now I think about it, I don't actually know the last time I cleared the dinner plates. We eat together but because I've been working all day Brittany lets me bath Aiden because I haven't see him so we get to spend quality time together while Brittany clears up. I hate to say it but she could easily put her food in the trash when I'm upstairs with Aiden instead of eating it. There's also the fact she goes to the gym for hours at the weekend. Every Saturday and Sunday morning she goes while I watch Aiden and she isn't gone just for an hour, it's a lot longer each day.
"Why are you doing this Santana, we have finally got the place to ourselves while your parents have Aiden and you want to start an argument?" Brittany sighs while sitting down on the couch in the living room.
"I'm worried about you, that's why" I say sitting next to her. "Believe me I would rather be upstairs with you right now but I can't let this go."
"I don't know what you want me to say Santana" Brittany shrugs.
"I want you to open up to me. Tell me why you're doing this" I say.
"Look I'm not doing anything on purpose, sometimes I just don't have time for a big meal because I'm busy with writing essays or looking after Aiden but there's nothing to worry about. I still eat, I can assure you" Brittany says.
"Honey you need to eat properly though, especially when you have essays to write and when you're breastfeeding. You need energy to think properly when you're studying and you need good nutrition to breastfeed Aiden" I say.
"You're making a big deal out of this Santana and it's not even that bad" Brittany sighs.
"I just worry about you" I tell her.
"You don't need to, I'm fine" Brittany states.
"Look maybe I'm not the best person to give advice but if you ever do struggle there's lots of people to talk to" I say.
"I don't need to talk to anyone, trust me" Brittany replies.
"I don't want to argue anymore but I do think you should talk to someone about this. You might not see this as an issue right now but it is honey" I say. "You don't need to talk to me but I think you should at least talk to someone else."
"Why, there's nothing to talk about" Brittany says.
"Ok, fine" I shrug. Brittany clearly doesn't want to talk about it so I'm going to let it go for just now but if it continues I'm going to have to say something again.
After sitting in silence for what felt like hours, Brittany shuffles closer to me and puts her arms around me. I relax into her and she kisses my head.
"I don't want to argue either, I just want a night alone with my smoking hot wife" Brittany smiles.
"I want that too" I smile back.
"Come on, let's go back upstairs" she says squeezing me tightly before releasing her hold and standing up. "You coming?" she asks while holding out her hand.
"Not yet but I will be very soon" I smirk.