Chapter 23: I need help
Santana's POV
Friday 20th March 2020
The minute I arrive at the hospital I quickly park up and run inside. I don't even know if it was legal to park where I did but I did it anyways because I can't wait any longer to see Brittany. As soon as I get inside I rush over to the reception area.
"I'm here for Brittany Lopez, I got a call that she was brought in" I say out of breath.
"She's right down the hall, last door on the left" the receptionist replies.
"Ok thank you" I say just about to run to Brittany's room.
"Hold on a second, they were doing tests though so you might not be allowed in right now" the receptionist points out.
"It's fine, I'll wait outside then" I say before quickly taking off down the corridor. Just as I'm about to go into the room a doctor opens the door and walks out.
"Can I help you?" the doctor asks.
"I was told my wife was in here, Brittany Lopez" I reply.
"Oh right well she is but we're just finishing up some tests. If you wait here and as soon as we're done I'll let you in" the doctor says.
"Ok" I nod. "She is ok though, right?"
"We'll talk more as soon as I've finished up with the tests but try not to worry" the doctor smiles before walking away.
"Um…ok" I say hesitantly. The doctor hasn't reassured me in the least by saying that. If she was ok then why couldn't he just say she's stable but no, he has to avoid giving me a straight answer?
When the doctor comes back, he doesn't really acknowledge me, he just walks back into Brittany's room. Things are really unsettling me just now, I mean I know it's their job to carry out tests to see what's wrong but they could at least reassure me a bit. When he finally leaves the room a second time, he comes over to me.
"Mrs Lopez" the doctor says.
"Yeah" I nod while standing up.
"You can see Brittany now but we'll be back soon to check on her" he smiles and walks away again. I don't waste any more time, I just hurriedly walk straight into the room.
"What happened, what's going on babe?" I ask rushing over to her.
"I basically collapsed right in front of my friends at lunch and the next thing I know is that I'm here and a bunch of doctors are crowding around me. Apparently I am really dehydrated and have super low blood sugar" Brittany sighs.
"Oh babe" I say hugging her. "Does your mom know?"
"I don't think so, you're my next of kin so I guess they just called you" Brittany shrugs.
"Shall I call your parents?" I ask.
"I don't want to worry them. They have Aiden right now so I don't want to panic them" Brittany says.
"Ok" I nod. "So what happens now?"
"They're going to put me on an IV infusion to give me some fluids and correct my electrolyte imbalance" she tells me. "Hopefully though I can leave either tonight or tomorrow morning as long as they don't start asking loads of questions."
"They'll want to know why it happened though" I point out.
"They know enough since they've already started putting me on a drip and stuff so I doubt they'll need to ask me anything else, it's just whether they will because they're nosy" she shrugs.
"You're going to hate me babe for saying this but you have to stop being so nonchalant about everything and talk to people here. This is your chance to nip this thing in the bud" I state.
"There is no thing Santana" she shakes her head in frustration.
"You're lighter than a frigging feather Brittany and you don't eat so yes there is a thing" I sigh.
"Can you go home please?" Brittany asks while looking away from me.
"Oh no, you don't get to throw me out right now. I'm your wife Brittany and I need to know what the hell is going on whether you like it or not" I state.
"I don't want or need an argument right now Santana so please leave me alone" she says as a few tears begin running down her cheeks.
"Oh honey" I shake my head while moving to sit on the edge of the bed to hug her again.
"You don't need to comfort me Santana because I know you're mad at me" she says while trying to wipe the tears away with her arm.
"I'm not mad at you, I'm frustrated at this situation we're in. I just really want to help you but nothing I do seems to help" I say kissing the top of her head.
"It's humiliating enough right now with these doctors and their judging looks when they ask me things so I don't want to have to fight with you as well" she admits.
"That's ok, we don't need to talk about it right now" I assure her. "When you are ready to talk though I do want you to explain things."
"Ok" she nods.
"Listen baby, I just need to quickly run to the bathroom but I'll be back soon" I say while moving from the bed.
"Ok babe" she smiles.
As soon as I get back from the bathroom, I walk into the room and the doctor is hooking Brittany up to a drip. I wait until he's finished before sitting down next to Brittany.
"So is that thing uncomfortable?" I ask nodding to the drip. I've never really been admitted to hospital before for anything so I don't really know if these kind of things hurt.
"Not really" Brittany shakes her head. "I mean I'd rather not be here right now but it doesn't hurt."
"How long do you need to be hooked up to it for?" I ask curiously.
"I think it takes about…"
"Oh thank goodness you're ok" Karen says while rushing into the room and hugging Brittany tightly.
"We were so worried about you sweetheart" James tells her while placing Aiden next to me in his stroller and going over to kiss Brittany's head.
"I'm fine, there's no need to fuss" Brittany sighs.
"Hey do you want to go and see mommy?" I ask Aiden while bouncing him slightly in my arms as I lift him up and walk over to Brittany.
"Santana I've got a drip in one hand so I can't really hold him right now" Brittany states. I'm starting to sense that she's slightly mad right now.
"That's ok, I'll hold him while you kiss him" I smile.
"Hey sweetheart" she smiles at Aiden before leaning forward to kiss him.
"Does mom get a kiss to?" I ask Aiden while leaning forward to kiss him. He gives me a brief smile in response.
"So Santana briefly filled us in on what happened but we want to talk to your doctor anyway so we'll be back soon, ok" James says before he and Karen leave the room.
"Hey so I…"
"Dammit Santana, I told you not to call them" Brittany sighs in annoyance while interrupting me.
"I'm sorry but they're your parents and they had to know. I mean you're in hospital for goodness sake babe, I'm not going to not tell them" I say honestly. If anything ever happened to Aiden then I'd quite like to know so I'm sure her parents would want to know if something happened to her.
"You don't get it though, they work here so they're just going to embarrass me in front of the staff" she points out.
"That should only be a minor problem right now, the main thing is that they're your parents and they need to know that you're ok. Plus don't you feel better with your parents here?" I ask.
"I really didn't need a big fuss right now because it's embarrassing enough already" Brittany sighs.
"You collapsed and needed to go to hospital, I think that's big enough in itself so I'm not going to apologise for calling them" I tell her.
"I asked you not to, that's what's bothering me the most" she replies.
"You're telling me in 20 years' time that if Aiden collapsed, you wouldn't want to know about it and would be happy with his wife keeping it a secret?" I ask.
"Firstly my baby isn't getting married before he's 20 and secondly" she sighs, "yes you have a point" she admits embarrassed.
"Exactly" I smile, teasingly nudging her.
"I'm sorry" Brittany says while squeezing my hand. "My parents just get too much sometimes whenever I'm in hospital but I am glad they're here" she smiles.
"It's ok, I understand" I smile back. "Although I do need to ask, why can't Aid get married before he's 20?" I ask.
"Well maybe he can but right now I can't think of that. He's my little baby so I don't want to let that part go right now" she smiles. "Plus I did marry you at 21 so I can't really comment, can I?"
"Exactly" I smirk.
"Ok so we've spoken to the doctor and he wants you to stay here overnight" James says walking into the room with Karen. "You should definitely get to go home tomorrow though."
"At least you're not here too long then" I say.
"I still wish I could go home tonight" Brittany points out.
XXX
Brittany's parents left to give her time to rest and took Aiden with them so I could stay at the hospital with Brittany. Once she drifted off to sleep, I took the opportunity to finish what I was doing at work. It was only computer stuff so I had my laptop with me. I get about an hour of work done before I hear Brittany wakening up.
"Santana" Brittany whispers.
"Yeah" I smile.
"I…I'm…" Brittany can't get anything else out before she starts crying.
"Britt, what's wrong?" I ask rushing over to her side.
"I'm sorry, you were right" she says through hiccups.
"Right about what honey?" I ask in concern as I hug her tightly.
"Everything" she replies.
"What do you mean?" I ask confused.
"I need help" she cries.
"It's ok, it's ok. I'm here" I say continuing to hug her tightly.
"I have a problem and I don't know how to stop" she says as tears continue to cascade down her cheeks.
"Just take a breath honey and we'll talk in a second, ok?" I say trying to get her to calm down.
Once Brittany does eventually calm down, we talk for a little while about what Brittany wants to do next. She agreed that she wants to see a therapist so I stepped outside and made a few calls because one of my friends from college is actually a therapist. I didn't want Brittany going to someone I knew but my friend said she knew a few people that were really good so I booked an appointment with one of them.
"I wasn't sure if you actually left or not" Brittany says as I walk back into the room.
"Baby I wouldn't leave without telling you" I say while going over to kiss her. "I didn't mean to take so long, we just got to talking that's all."
"That's ok" Brittany replies.
"So I did have to pull a few strings to get this but I managed to get you booked in for a therapy session on Tuesday. Does that work for you?" I ask.
"Yeah" Brittany replies quietly while nodding.
"Ok" I smile.
"Can you…um…like maybe…I don't know, come with me?" Brittany asks hesitantly while looking down in embarrassment.
"Honey of course I will" I smile.
Brittany's POV
Monday 23rd March 2020
"Is there anything you want to talk about before the session?" Santana asks as we lie in bed together.
"Are you kidding me right now?" I question while sitting up and turning to glare at Santana.
"What?" she shrugs.
"Was this your plan all along to have sex with me to get me in a good mood just so I'd talk to you about how I feel?" I ask.
"Baby that's not…"
"Tell me the truth" I say while jumping out of bed and quickly putting some clothes on.
"Don't get me wrong I did think it might help to open up a little to me before you see the therapist but that's not why I had sex with you. I did it because I love you and Aiden isn't home right now so I thought we could have some fun" she smiles.
"I'm going to call your sister and see when she's bringing Aiden home" I sigh while changing the subject.
"Britt, come on" Santana says while quickly getting out of bed and putting her robe on.
"I feel like you're still not telling me the truth" I shake my head.
"Ok fine" she sighs while walking over to me. "I did want you in a good mood because I wanted you to talk to me a bit before tomorrow but that's not the reason I had sex with you. I bought you your favourite flowers to get you in the good mood, sex was just a welcomed addition to the night."
"Santana you know I'm not good with expressing how I feel sometimes so why are you trying to push it?" I ask.
"Baby I don't mean to, I'm just confused about everything" she admits.
"Honey I want you to come with me tomorrow so can't you just wait until then?" I ask. I mean I'm not entirely sure myself about what's going on with me so I'd hate to say something that might offend Santana. I mean it's certainly nothing Santana has done but I feel a therapist would be able to understand my point better because I'm not great with words.
"Ok, I'm sorry" Santana nods. "Now come here, I want you to kiss me" she smiles while taking my hands in hers.
"Ok" I smile back before giving her a quick peck on the lips. "Right I need to get organised now" I say while breaking out of our hold.
"Brittany wait a minute" Santana frowns, "are you still mad at me?"
"No of course not" I reply.
"Then what's with the quick peck on the lips and the sudden need to do other things now?" she asks.
"Sorry but because I'm taking time out of studying tomorrow to go to this therapy session then I need to make up for it tonight. You and I are good though babe" I smile.
"Oh, ok" Santana nods sadly.
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Tuesday 24th March 2020
Santana and I are sitting in the waiting room waiting on my turn to go in and see the therapist. This moment is probably in the top 5 of my most hated moments. I just really don't want to do this because it's embarrassing and I don't want to be judged for the way I am. It's hard enough opening up to myself or my family, never mind some stranger I've never seen before.
"It's ok, don't be nervous" Santana says while taking a hold of my hand.
"How did you know I was nervous?" I ask.
"I can just tell babe" she smiles while squeezing my hand to make me feel better.
"Brittany Lopez, you can now go to room 4" we hear over the intercom so we make our way to room 4. The therapist introduces herself and we sit down.
"So whose idea was it to come today?" the therapist asks.
"I mean I eventually agreed but I know Santana has been wanting me to see someone for a while now so I guess you could say both of ours in the end" I reply.
"Yeah I mean I noticed a change a while ago but I don't think I handled it in the best way so we kind of put it on the back burner" Santana says. "When she collapsed the other day though I think it became apparent to both of us that we need to do something about it."
"Ok so let's talk" the therapist says. "Do you know why you have been skipping meals Brittany?" she asks.
"In the beginning I was just too busy to eat so I'd grab something on the go like a piece of fruit or something whenever I had a spare minute" I reply. "Then as things went on I sort of liked that I was losing the baby weight so I continued and the next thing I know things had spiralled out of control."
"How do you feel now looking back on it?" the therapist asks.
"Weak and ashamed" I reply.
"So do you feel that it was only about food or were there any other reasons as to why you continued not eating?" she asks.
"Well I mean at the time it felt like it was something I could control and I liked that. I mean a lot of other things I was getting stressed over so I felt so overwhelmed but with the eating thing then I knew what I was doing in a way even though I didn't know at the time it wasn't a healthy way to go" I reply.
"So what other things were stressing you out?" the therapist asks.
"Definitely college especially since it's my last year and I want to graduate soon" I say.
"I know you've just had a baby recently so do you feel you're getting support from others when you need to study all the time?" she asks.
"Yeah I guess so" I say hesitantly.
"You don't seem as sure about your answer, do you feel you need more help?" she asks.
"It's not that I need help with my son, I just feel a lot of pressure on me from other people to do well in college so I guess I feel they still don't quite understand how I feel" I admit.
"I know Santana's here right now but I want you to be honest, do you feel Santana gives you that support?" the therapist asks.
"Um…" I look over at Santana nervously.
"Babe if you feel I don't then it's ok, I won't be mad. We're here today to figure out these things" Santana smiles.
"Santana's right" the therapist tells me.
"Yes Santana is super supportive of me but sometimes I feel like she doesn't quite understand my situation. I mean she puts me on this pedestal and it's super sweet but super stressful at the same time" I admit.
"What do you mean?" Santana asks confused.
"You think I'm better than I actually am but every time I try to tell you that you just think I have low confidence in myself" I sigh.
"Oh" Santana says surprised.
"Why don't you explain a little more Brittany about what you mean" the therapist says.
"I'm not book smart, I take a while to understand things so sometimes I'm ok with just getting a B in an essay but if Santana ever got a B that'd be deemed completely unacceptable to her" I say. "Sometimes she says these things and I'm embarrassed because I don't mind that I'm not that smart but to her that would be a failure."
"Brittany I would never think you were a failure" Santana shakes her head.
"I know but sometimes you have a very strong opinion on things and it unsettles me. You asked me last week what I got for an assignment and I told you a B but you kept going on about how it was an A because it was a point or two short so they should have just rounded it up. To me right now I just want to graduate with a decent grade; I don't want to be some genius" I reply. I'm satisfied with getting a B on something that I just couldn't understand. I'd rather pass and focus on the things I do well in than panic over something I know I don't have time to waste on.
"I don't mean to be that way babe" Santana says while leaning over to gently squeeze my hand. "I'm happy with whatever you're happy with so if you think I'm being too much then just let me know" she smiles.
"Um…ok" I smile back. I'm a little surprised by her reaction, I mean I didn't think she would be unreasonable or anything but I didn't expect her to be completely ok with what I said. I never want to upset Santana but I'm really not good with expressing my feelings sometimes so I always worry I'll say the wrong thing and offend her.
"Is there anything else you want to express about your relationship?" the therapist asks. "We've discussed college with regards you and Santana's relationship but what about your personal life?"
"I don't understand what you mean" I say confused.
"How would you evaluate your relationship at the moment?" she asks.
"Apart from my issues getting in the way now and again, everything seems ok. I love Santana and she loves me" I say turning to smile at Santana.
"Is there anything you wish to say that maybe you're too nervous to say when it's just the two of you?" the therapist asks.
"Well…maybe" I admit embarrassed.
"Ok well now is the time to share" the therapist smiles.
"I feel like I'm letting Santana down all the time and I hate that" I sigh. "It's like she has two children because she has Aiden and then she has me giving her problems all the time because I'm too immature to deal with my shit."
"You have to stop blaming yourself Brittany" Santana tells me. "Everyone has problems and life is never perfect so you can't keep expecting our life to be this perfect thing when it's never going to be."
"But you are perfect and I'm not" I shrug.
"Brittany no one is perfect, far from it actually" the therapist points out. "There are a lot of things in life that sometimes we all wish were different but once you get the strength to move past them, you realise that the important things in life are what matters."
"Yeah I agree" Santana nods.
"Does that mean that you sometimes wish certain things were different" I ask looking at Santana. "I mean if you do then you don't really tell me about things."
"Honey, this is about you today not me" Santana says while gently squeezing my hand to reassure me.
"Actually it might help Brittany if you shared a few things too Santana" the therapist says.
"Um…ok" Santana nods nervously. "I guess there are things in my life that I don't like but I don't want Brittany to worry about them so I don't share them all the time" she admits.
"I can understand that but sometimes not sharing makes things worse" the therapist replies.
"Am I one of these worries?" I ask honestly.
"Brittany…" Santana shakes her head.
"I'm being serious babe because I can sense I'm being very selfish right now talking about myself. If it wasn't for my issues then we wouldn't be here and I do get the feeling sometimes that a lot of this stuff happens all because of me" I admit.
"You're not a problem in my life Brittany, I promise you" Santana assures me.
"But I am a worry, right?" I ask.
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about you lately" Santana sighs.
"Perhaps you could share with us what worries you the most right now, Santana" the therapist asks.
"Well right now I feel that Brittany is trying to be someone neither of us needs or wants her to be and I don't get that. She knew from the start I wasn't perfect so I don't understand why she has this vision that I am and she needs to be too" she says.
"To me though you are perfect" I smile.
"I just don't agree" Santana admits shaking her head.
"Let's take a step back here, what kind of things do worry you Santana?" the therapist asks.
"Well for starters, I wish I was ten years younger; I wish people understood my condition; I wish people could get over the fact I'm gay; I wish people would stop blaming me for pressuring Brittany into this life…"
"Whoa, stop right there" I state. "What do you mean by that last part?" I ask.
"Well you're 22, you have a 2 month old baby and you're trying to make a career for yourself and it's likely all my fault that you're so stressed right now. I know you say it's just college stressing you out but I do think I'm somewhat to blame as well even if you won't admit it. I mean I wanted this life before you did and I pressured you into it and now look what's happening. We're pretending life is just great when it's not" Santana sighs.
"Not once did you pressure me into this, I can assure you of that" I state.
"We both know I wanted marriage and kids before you did" Santana says.
"That's true but those things didn't happen until I was ready. We got married when I wanted to and we started a family when I wanted to. Yes you were ready first but you waited until I was ready so don't ever think you made me do this because you didn't" I say genuinely while leaning over to put my arm around her.
XXX
"Let's go back a bit again. You've said yourself Santana that you see a physical change in Brittany, how does that make you feel?" the therapist asks.
"I love Brittany no matter what she looks like but I don't like it when she changes for all the wrong reasons" Santana replies. "I get that her body changed initially after Aiden and I understand why she might want to change, I mean I didn't think she needed to but I understood, but I don't like it when it puts her health in jeopardy."
"That's a fair point" the therapist nods.
"No matter what happens though, I'm always going to love her" Santana smiles.
"Ok so Brittany, I understand the pressure you were under but do you think there's a possibility that you also did this to seem more attractive to Santana?" the therapist asks.
"I think that's a big possibility, yes" I nod. Truth be told, the not eating thing wasn't just about being in control of something, it was about trying to look different.
"What makes you think you're not attractive to Santana?" the therapist asks.
"Most girls my age are still out getting drunk and doing what they want. I mean don't get me wrong, I like being a mom and a wife and I don't wish I was like them, I'm just scared Santana does" I say honestly.
"Honey I don't wish that" she says while reassuringly squeezing my hand.
"Most girls that are 22 have perfect bodies and look hot" I say, "and this isn't just because I've had a baby. I've always just felt slightly intimidated by the way Santana looks. She's 30 and still has a killer body whereas I'm not even that hot looking and I'm still in my early 20s."
"We all come in different shapes and sizes but that doesn't mean we need to think a particular physique is hotter than another. We all like different things so you just have to embrace what you have" the therapist replies.
"That's easier said than done. I mean I've seen Santana's exes and none of them look like me so it just worries me that I'm not really what she wants" I admit embarrassed.
"How do you feel about that Santana?" the therapist says while looking at Santana.
"I understand where she is coming from but I don't actually have a type. It just turns out that my most serious relationships seemed to be with brunettes" Santana shrugs. "I mean I can't say I was never attracted to them because I did obviously date them but none of them ever made me feel the way Brittany makes me feel."
"Is this making you feel any better Brittany?" the therapist asks.
"Maybe a little but it's not all about the exes though" I point out.
"Ok so what?" the therapist replies.
"Sometimes I catch Santana looking at someone and I can't help but think maybe she'd rather be with someone like them than with me" I sigh. It's not like I don't want her to look at anyone but sometimes I just get this really uncomfortable feeling inside.
"Whoa ok, let's just take a step back" Santana shakes her head. "I understand most of what's going on and I want to help you but I never look at other women. That is one thing I most certainly do not do" she says slightly offended.
"This is what I was afraid of" I sigh. "I knew something I said today was going to irritate you Santana."
"Honey, like I say I've understood a lot of this already but what you just said really has touched a nerve. It's ok to feel insecure or worried about something but you know my policy with cheating. My ex-wife cheated on me so under no circumstances do I think it's ok" Santana states.
"I didn't say you would cheat, what I mean is sometimes I wonder if maybe you wonder what it would be like if you were with someone else" I reply.
"That is cheating to me Brittany" she shakes her head. "It's certainly not as bad as physically cheating but in my book it's still not right."
"Let's just calm down for a second and talk this through" the therapist says weighing in. "Could you try and give us an example of when Santana might do this."
"Ok well last month we were in a café and this, large chested woman shall we say, sat down at a table near us and I caught Santana staring at her for a decent amount of time" I reply. "I didn't want to question it at the time though because I was afraid I wouldn't like the answer and end up getting upset. Aiden was only a few weeks old at the time so my hormones were still all over the place so I didn't want to get upset in public and cause a scene."
"I'm not being rude but I have no recollection of this" Santana says confused.
"Last month, and I should have said I was talking about the café where I work and it was the first time my colleagues were seeing Aiden. We just got sat down when the woman and her friend also sat down and I caught you staring. You had Aiden in your arms and your mouth literally fell open" I state.
"Oh…um…ok" Santana says embarrassed while taking a deep breath to continue. "I remember now and I admit I was staring but I promise you it wasn't at the woman."
"Then what?" I ask.
"The uh…um…I was staring at the piece of chocolate cake she had, ok" Santana says embarrassed. "It looked really good but I had already eaten something else so I didn't want to be greedy."
"Wait…seriously?" I ask beginning to feel really bad.
"I promise you" she nods.
"Ok so what about when we went on vacation the last time" I say. "We were by the pool and you kept looking at that topless brunette. I had to literally click my fingers at you to get you to answer me because sometimes I would say something and you didn't even know I was talking because you were preoccupied."
"The bitch stole our spot. We had been sitting in that exact spot by the pool for 4 days straight and that bitch swooped in and took it one day so I was glaring at her" Santana replies. "I kept looking over because the minute she left the space unattended I was going to go over and reclaim our spot."
"Oh" I say surprised. I literally feel like such a bitch right now. Of course Santana isn't going to look at anyone else, she's the sweetest person I know and here I am questioning everything.
"Brittany? Brittany?" Santana says while leaning forward to get my attention.
"Sorry" I shake my head.
"Where did you just go there?" the therapist asks.
"I was just thinking about how stupid I was to question Santana. I know she would never do that sort of thing but yet this is how I feel right now" I admit. "It's maybe not so much an attraction to another woman, maybe it's just the thought of actually having a partner that is there that I'm worried Santana wants."
"What do you mean by that?" the therapist asks.
"I just feel that maybe Santana will eventually want someone else because I'm too busy all the time. If I'm not at college, I'm at home studying and if I'm not doing that I'm looking after Aiden. Also I do plan on going back to work at some point so I'm scared she'd rather be with someone who has more time" I admit.
"I'm not going to lie, I don't like it that we don't get very much time together but it most certainly doesn't mean I want to be with someone else. Eventually all this studying will be over and we'll just be two regular parents who work and raise a child" she says.
"But what about right now, don't you want someone who has more time to spend with you?" I ask.
"I just want you Brittany" Santana sighs and I can tell she's getting frustrated with me. "Why won't you believe me?"
"I just don't understand how you can put up with me" I say honestly. "Every time something happens it's always me in the middle of it. You never give me any shit whereas all I do is constantly make you worry."
"Can I just weigh in here?" the therapist says and I nod. "I just want to ask you something. Do you ever feel you can be too hard on yourself?"
"I guess I hadn't really thought about it" I shrug.
"Ok well maybe you could think about it for next time because we're almost out of time this session" the therapist replies.
"Ok" I nod.
"It's obvious you love one another very much but you still have a few things individually that we need to work on Brittany" the therapist says.
"Yeah I figured" I sigh.
"You are more than welcome to bring Santana along though but the next session should probably be about you and how we can help you get through this" the therapist replies.
"Yeah I mean I'm more than happy to come with you" Santana smiles.
"Yeah I'd really like that" I nod.
As soon as we finish up with the therapist, we head outside to Santana's car.
"Hey, come here" Santana smiles while holding her hand out to me. I walk over to her and intertwine my fingers with hers. "I'm really proud of you babe. It takes a lot to open up to people especially if you barely know them."
"I'm sorry if I offended you at all in there. You know I'm no good with words but please know I didn't mean to hurt you" I say genuinely.
"Honey, you didn't. I'll admit I didn't quite understand at times so I might have seemed a little offended but as soon as you explained then I totally got it" she smiles.
As soon as we reach the car, Santana opens the door for me and I get in before she quickly goes around to the driver's side and gets in. Once she shuts the door, she turns to face me.
"I know you're going through a lot babe and you might want some space at some point but don't ever think for second that I'm going anywhere because I'm not" she smiles.
"I know you wouldn't ever go anywhere and that's kind of the thing. I don't want you do it because you're a nice person and would do anything for anyone, I want to make sure you're doing it because you actually think I'm worth it" I say.
"I'm not doing this out of obligation, I promise I am doing it because that's what I truly want" she smiles. "I mean you'd do all this for me, right?"
"You have no idea the length I would go to for you" I smile back.