It's Time

Chapter 30

Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong solely to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

A second disclaimer:

I'm not a professional writer. I write Twilight fanfic simply because I love this fandom.

I apologize in advance for any errors.

BPOV

I soon discovered Edward was back in town. The first time I spotted him, Gia and I were at Thriftway, purchasing items to make a salad.

I had just reached for a bell pepper when I caught a flash of his unusual hair color out of the corner of my eye. Startled, I knocked over a dozen or so of the vegetables and watched helplessly as they cascaded to the floor. When I bent to pick them up, a second pair of hands soon began helping me. I didn't have to look to know who it was. My body hummed at his nearness.

We worked silently as we placed the peppers back into the bin, the only sounds I could hear were Gia's babbles, and the thundering of my pulse beating wildly through my veins.

Once the last pepper was in place, he smiled at me and turned toward Gia. After giving her belly a light tickle, he walked back to his awaiting cart and resumed his shopping.

The next time I saw Edward was at the post office. I had just finished picking up my mail and was headed toward the exit when he entered through the same doorway. As soon as our gazes met, I froze in place. I involuntarily licked my lips as I noticed the intensity of his stare — the way his eyes blazed with emotion. After running a hand through his hair, he started to say something, but instead, stepped aside holding the door open for me to leave.

Two days ago, while I was at the bookstore, I saw him jogging down Main Street. Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself walking to the large, storefront window and watching him. Once he made it to the front of the shop, he paused, noticing me almost immediately. We stood there for a few moments staring at each other before I finally lifted my hand and gave him a small wave. After returning the gesture, he turned and continued with his run.

My next encounter with Edward happened today. Carmen and I were alone in the shop preparing for the evening's grand opening when a delivery arrived. Along with the largest arrangement of wildflowers I had ever seen in my life, I received a small, wrapped box. Carmen oohed and ahhed at the flowers while I held the package quietly, contemplating what could be inside.

"These are gorgeous. I wonder who sent them," she said as she placed the bouquet on the front counter. "Maybe they're from Alice."

My heart knew they weren't from her. They were from Edward.

"What's in the box?" Carmen asked, gesturing to the package still in my grip.

"I'm not sure."

"Well, open it and see! Maybe Alice sent some of that yummy chocolate from Paris ... the one we both like."

After tearing the paper, I discovered a blank journal. With a deep blue, leather cover, the expensive notebook featured gold-edged paper. Tucked within the first few pages was an envelope addressed to me.

After quickly closing it, I glanced at Carmen who was studying me; her eyes laced with concern. "I'm going to go to my office for a moment."

"Sure, passerotta." She ran her fingertip along my cheek. "Take your time."

After sitting at my desk, I took a deep breath and removed the letter from the journal. With trembling fingers, I opened it.

Dear Bella,

I wasn't going to send this, but after seeing you while I was out for my run the other morning, I hoped you would be amenable to receiving this small token from me.

Bella, I want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you. What you've accomplished today is no small feat. Not many people have the passion and intelligence needed to open their own business. It just proves what a strong and determined person you are.

Gia is blessed to have you as a mother.

You're probably wondering why I chose to send a journal. Well, to be honest, it's for two reasons. First, I'd like for you to consider it a redo. This journal is the type of gift I should have sent to you years ago when you won that essay contest back in high school. Instead of forbidding you to go to Florida, I should have done whatever was in my power to help cultivate your writing talent and help you pursue your dreams. I should have been your biggest supporter … your greatest source of encouragement. Instead of taking opportunities away from you, I should have given you the world.

However, we both know that's not how our story began.

I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for not giving you the care and attention you deserved. If I could undo every single moment of pain I caused you, I would.

The second reason for the journal is metaphorical. As you start a new chapter in your life today, please consider beginning a new page for me as well. Even though I can't undo the damage of the past, I'd do anything for the opportunity to live the rest of my life making it up to you.

Bella, I know you've seen me around town. I've moved to Forks to fight for us, but I can't win this battle alone. Please, give us a chance.

Just because the beginning of our story wasn't an easy one, it doesn't mean we still can't have a beautiful ending.

Yours until the final page.

Edward

After reading through the letter at least three times, a soft knock sounded at my office door. Carmen slipped inside, a frown formed at the corners of her mouth.

"Are you okay?"

Weeks of keeping my emotions at bay finally took their toll on me. Instead of answering, I shook my head as tears fell from my eyes.

After kneeling beside my chair, she gently ran her hand through my hair. "Oh, passerotta. What can I do for you? Is the gift from Edward?"

I wiped my face with my shirtsleeve. "Y-yes. He's back in town. I've seen him a few times this week."

"Back in town?"

I handed her the letter. "He's moved here."

"I don't understand?"

"Read it."

I watched as she read the letter. Her expression changed from one of concern to anger. Once she finished, she stood. "Where is he?"

"What?"

"Edward. Where's he staying?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"I'm going to give him a piece of my mind is why! He can't continue to pull this shit with you. I'm going to put a stop to it once and for all."

My mouth dropped into the shape of an O at the sight of her indignation. "Carmen —"

She continued with her rant, flinging the letter down on my desk. "Doesn't he realize a simple letter isn't going to make it all better?"

"Carmen —"

"Doesn't he realize all the hurt he's caused you … my family?"

"Carmen —"

She stopped, staring at me with tear-filled eyes. "Doesn't he realize he's the reason I didn't see my daughter for almost three years! The reason I missed the birth of my granddaughter?"

Standing from my desk, I walked to where she stood and watched as her shoulders quivered. Wrapping my arms around her, I whispered, "Oh Mom, I'm so sorry."

Her breath hitched. "What did you call me?"

"M-mom," I repeated hesitantly. "You've always been my mom in my heart. I don't know why I've waited so long to say it aloud."

"Oh, Bella. You've been my daughter since the moment I first saw you."

We sat on the small loveseat across from my desk. I took her hands in mine. "Mom." We both smiled at my use of the title. "Edward's not to blame for my absence the past three years that's all on me."

"But he—"

"I'm not excusing his past behavior, but I've made my own share of mistakes. No one forced me to stay away from the family, I chose to do so myself."

"But, no one faults you after everything you've been through."

"Well, maybe they should," I said with a sigh, wiping my eyes. "You and ... Dad," I gulped, using the name for Eleazar for the first time, "provided me with a loving and happy home, and I've been so bitter. It's as if I romanticized my life with Charlie Swan. I made it out to be something it really wasn't."

"Bella, there's nothing wrong with loving your father. With having good memories of him."

"That's just it! I don't have good memories. Sure, he provided for my basic needs, but other than that, it was as if I was just a burden." I released a dry laugh. "Well, I guess until I was old enough to make his dinner when he wasn't passed out drunk."

"Oh, sweetheart."

"It's just, I've spent the majority of my life blaming all of my problems on Edward Cullen and feeling sorry for myself. Over the past few weeks, I've realized it's time for me to own up to my part of this mess. I'm far from blameless."

"What are you saying? Have you forgiven him?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess I've come to understand forgiving Edward is just as much a gift to myself as it is to him. We both deserve some peace, and that's not going to happen until we have a chance to heal."

She gestured toward my desk. "But, Bella. Edward is seeking far more than forgiveness. He wants a relationship."

I bit my lip, heat filled my cheeks.

"What am I missing? What are you not telling me?"

Burying my head into my hands, I groaned. "We kissed, and it has me all tangled up inside. And on top of that, he's so different. I want to believe he's changed."

"You kissed Edward! When?"

"Right before you came to visit."

"So, you have feelings for him?"

"I've had feelings for him since the moment he walked into my hospital room."

"This is the last thing I expected to hear today."

"Go ahead, tell me I'm an idiot. I won't disagree."

"I would never tell you that, Bella. I understand the pull you feel toward your soulmate." She paused. "I'm assuming that now you believe he's your mate?"

I nodded.

"Well, whatever you decide, I'll support you." She squeezed my hand. "But passerotta, even if you're ready to forgive him, can you learn to trust him?"

"That's the part I still don't know."

AN:

Passerotta - little bird.

Thanks to Fran, K, Gail, and Kay for their help with this chapter.

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I appreciate your support. Your kind words mean so much.

Until next time,

HE