It was a lady who looked like Ms. Cackle, but as if she had forgotten her glasses. "Ms. Cackle?!" gasped Harry. "Yes," she said calmly, "but not the one you know as Ms. Cackle." "But, I thought, Mr. Snape…" "Severus?" Ms. Cackle's sister laughed, "Yes, Severus does seem the type, doesn't he? So useful to have him swooping about like a bat. Next to him, who would suspect dear old Ms. Cackle?" "What did you do to her?" "Oh, just a Draught of Living Death," the woman said coolly. "You, on the other hand, won't be so lucky, for I, Agatha Cackle, will have done away with you by the end of the night. I let that troll in, and my little friend… what was her name again? Tara… no, Tata, could be Taebory… no, it was probably Enopby, or was it Eboby? No, it must have been Egogy, wait… Enobby? No, definitely not, let's see… Ibony? Evony? Ebondy? Enony? Ebory? Enoby?"
By now, Harry was exasperated. "Her name is EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY," he exclaimed, "and you ordered her to curse the brooms at that match, didn't you?" "Well of course I did," answered Agatha. There was something behind her. The very mirror Harry had seen just after Winter Holidays. He looked at it, and suddenly he felt much heavier. He knew, somehow, that he'd obtained the philosopher's stone.
Unfortunately, Agatha did too. "Give me that stone in your pocket," she ordered. "NO!" cried Harry. Agatha got out her wand and was about to do a spell, but Harry beat her to it. "Petrificus Totalus!" he screeched, and Agatha locked up and fell to the floor just as Dumbledore, the real Ms. Cackle, and Harry's friends arrived.
"Fucking Agathaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," Mildred exploded suddenly, sounding almost robotic. Everyone looked at her very confused. "Did something happen?" asked Mildred. "Erm, you've just said a curse word," Maud explained. "Oh dear, I didn't mean to do that, but it's been happening to me lately. Hermione too. We act odd and suddenly have strange occurrences, and then we can't remember anything about it." "Anyway, now to do away with my sister," Ms. Cackle said, before banishing her to a place far away. "She can't hurt us now. Harry, I think it is best that you destroy the Philosopher's Stone. It contains the very things that are actually worst for you," she explained. Harry took the stone from his pocket, and Ms. Cackle proceeded. "Bombarda Maxima!" she exclaimed, and the stone exploded. Now, you all had better go up to bed. Your harrowing adventure here means you more than deserve rest.
The next day, it was the final breakfast, and the house cup was to be awarded before the 12:00 departure of the Hogwarts Express service to London Kings Cross. Gryffindor ended up winning due to their adventures the previous night, which awarded them 1000 house points, enough to trump Slytherin, the leaders until that time. No one was really bitter about it shockingly, except for Draco, his goth gang, and ESPECIALLY Ebony, as she'd been foiled. Everyone went home after that, and waited for the second year to begin.