The three friends sat on Katie's bed while Whisper pulled up the latest episode of The Tattlecast on his Yo-kai Pad.
"Ah, here it is!" Whisper exclaimed. "Play, whis~!"
The Tattlecast's intro is fittingly an instrumental of the Mysterious Tribe as Tattlecast herself was from that Tribe.
"Tell tell! (Good evening, my loyal listeners!) Tell tell! (Boy, do I have a show for you tonight!)"
"I don't get it, she's just saying 'tell tell' over and over." Katie complained.
"Because that's all she can say." Explained Whisper. "Don't worry I'll translate for you. All Yo-kai are well versed in the language of Tellanese."
"That's seriously what it's called?"
"Tell tell. (Before we get into today's show let's talk about some of the rumors floating around in the world of Yo-kai.) Tell tell. (So I've heard through the grapevine that Sergeant Burly is aiming for a promotion, so he's looking to build a team called Yo-kai Watch Blasters to fight the Oni Brothers who patrol the streets of Springdale every night.) Tell tell! (If it's true, I'd hate to be one of the poor souls who gets stuck with that job because I hear if you get hurt, your only form of health insurance is Burly himself, wearing a nurse's uniform!)"
Whisper and Sailornyan laughed after hearing that quip. Even Katie let out a small chuckle.
"Just as funny a second time!" Whisper laughed.
Katie's smile then turned into a look of concern. "Wait, 'Oni Brothers who patrol the streets of Springdale every night?' You mean to tell me there are more giant Oni like Gargaros!?"
"Thankfully, only two more." Sailornyan replied. "A blue one named Ogralus and a black one named Orcanos. If Ogralus doesn't drown you with his water magic, Orcanos will put the hurt on you and drain your very essence. You'll be walking around like a limp zombie for days. They only show up for the worst kinds of kids though, so I don't think you have anything to worry about."
Katie curled up in a fetal position. "Yikes. I've only ever seen Gargaros because I was late getting home one night from bug catching in Mt. Wildwood. His brothers sound even more terrifying. I hope Sergeant Burly succeeds in building that team to knock them all down a peg."
Sailornyan nodded in agreement. "The brothers have good intentions when punishing naughty kids, but they are a bit of a nuisance sometimes. I can't believe your butler has never told you about the other two!"
Katie glared at Whisper "Probably because most of the time he's too busy using that Yo-kai Pad for things like this rather than studying like he's supposed to."
"Hey, do you two mind?" Whisper asked, sounding annoyed. "It's hard to translate when more than one person is talking."
"Tell tell? (Is Herbiboy really as uninterested in women as he claims to be?) Tell tell. (A few nos- I mean observant listeners have written in saying that he's been eyeing a certain noblewoman these past few days.) Tell tell? (Is this just slight curiosity about the opposite sex or is he finally willing to trade the mint leaf for a belle of the ball?) Tell tell! (We'll just have to wait and see!)"
"Why doesn't she just possess him and make him say whether or not he's in love?" Katie asked, sarcastically. "It wouldn't be above her standards I'm sure."
"Since day one, Tattlecast made a promise to never reveal the secrets of any fellow Yo-kai." Sailornyan replied. "And she's kept that promise to this day."
Katie rolled her eyes. "Figures."
"Tell tell. (Directator or as he calls himself, 'The Genius Yo-kai Movie Director', is rumored to be setting up a casting call for his newest film, Yo-kai Wizard of Oz in the next few weeks.) Tell tell! (He touts the film as his greatest masterpiece and says anyone who doesn't see it when it releases is dumber than Dummkap, which is ironic because even Dummkap is smart enough to avoid dog crap when he sees it on the sidewalk!)"
All three friends laugh together after hearing that remark.
"Okay, that was funny." Admitted Katie.
"Yes, Tattlecast is one of Directator's harshest critics." Sailornyan replied. "She's aware that he's an avid listener, but still won't hold back when criticizing his movies."
"Good, because experience has taught me that that guy can't come up with an original idea for the life of him and it's ridiculous how much the masses eat his garbage up."
"Well I quite enjoy his productions regardless. My Neighbor Dromp is still one of my favorite films to this day."
"As long as he leaves me out of his silly mockbusters, I don't care what he does."
"Nya~? What do you mean?"
"Shh! Still trying to translate here!" nagged Whisper.
"Tell tell. (Everyone's favorite big brother figure, Bruff, is apparently considering opening up his own underground dojo soon.) Tell tell! (Don't tell Detective Holdit though!) Tell tell! (Otherwise, he might want to join and Brother Bruff will get demoted to Little Brother Bruff!)"
Whisper and Sailornyan laughed, but the joke went over Katie's head. "Little Brother Bruff? I don't get it."
"I'll explain it to you after the episode ends." Giggled Sailornyan.
"So this is fine and all, but how long before the actual show starts? Feels like she's just buying time to make it longer."
"Oh? Getting curious about the secrets of others I see." Teased Whisper.
Katie blushed with an angry expression. "No that's not it at all! It's just that we're almost five minutes in and all she's talked about are rumors."
Whisper chuckled. "Well this is what's known in the podcast industry as 'persiflage.'"
"Percy-what?"
"Per-si-fla-ge. It's light mockery and banter most podcasters do during the first half of the show, though it's more common when more than one person is present. It's to help get the hosts' juices flowing and loosen up their vocal cords so the rest of the podcast will go smoothly."
"Oh. Well how long does it usually last?"
"Usually about 20 to 30 minutes most of the time. The podcast as a whole is about an hour and 40 minutes long."
"I see. Well I have a feeling this is the part of the show I'm going to enjoy the most so I don't really mind."
As the first half of the podcast went on, Katie found herself actually enjoying it. None of it felt mean-spirited or condescending. It was all in good taste and she liked hearing about what was going on in the lives of different Yo-kai.
"Tell tell? (I mean I'm just saying, if you're made of gold and take great pride in that, who are you going to buy a poster of?) Tell tell? (Yourself or someone made of platinum?) Tell tell! (I'm telling you, there's envy flowing through those circuits of hers and she's too much of pussycat to admit it!)"
"Of course I knew it all along." Whisper boasted.
"Tell tell! (Now on with the show!) Tell tell. (Today I took a trip down Flower Road in Shopper's Row because I was hungry, for secrets that is.) Tell tell. (I decided to stop by Sun Pavilion to see what the chef had cooking besides the afternoon lunch special.) Tell tell. (It all seemed pretty normal, too normal.) Tell tell. (So I decided to possess the head chef to see if he had any secrets that were as juicy as his steamed gyoza.) Tell tell! (Here's what he had to say!)"
Katie sighed. "Here comes the part I was dreading."
"Attention everyone! In order to cut back costs, we've been using imitation crab in the crab omelette for the past three weeks! Also, we've been having a slight problem with gnats in the kitchen, so don't be surprised if you find a few in your mapo tofu! They're quite attracted to the stuff!"
"Gnats? Ugh, maybe that's why Stephen got food poisoning last week!" Katie chimed in.
"Is that a friend of yours?" asked Sailornyan.
"Not exactly. He's our class president. He wasn't at school for two days last week due to food poisoning after he and his family ate at Sun Pavilion."
"Well now no one's eating there I'm sure." Whisper laughed. "Just wait until you hear this!"
"Tell tell! (Uh oh!) Tell tell. (Sounds like some customers aren't taking this revelation too well.")
"That's disgusting!"
"I'm never eating here again!"
"Someone's getting a bad Yolp review today."
"Imitation crab is the worst!"
"Tell tell? (Do you have anything to say in your defense Mr. Chef?)"
"Bah! You're all a bunch of wusses! I've eaten at least 30 flies in my meals for the past week and you don't see me complaining!"
"Tell tell. (Yeah, with a gut that big I don't imagine you're much of a picky eater.)
Whisper and Sailornyan laughed while Katie folded her arms and frowned at that remark. "See, now that's just mean."
"But don't you think he deserved it for cheating and lying to his customers like that?" asked Sailornyan.
"I'll admit that was wrong of him, but that's no reason to insult his weight. Besides, Sun Pavilion is usually a great Chinese Restaurant. You know a Yo-kai has to be involved with this."
"Oh come on Katie, you can't blame Yo-kai for everything." Denied Whisper. "Listen to what happened next!"
"Tell tell. (After whetting my appetite, I thought I'd settle down with a good book from the Settle In Bookstore.) Tell tell. (You can tell a lot about a person by the kinds of printed material they read.) Tell tell. (Like this balding man with the stack of travel guides, clearly he's going through a midlife crisis and trying to visit as many places as possible before he ends up in a raisin ranch.)"
"Or he just likes to travel. That could be it." Countered Katie.
"Yeah, but that's not as funny." Sniggered Whisper.
"You call it funny, I call it rude."
"Hmph. To-may-to, to-mah-to."
"Tell tell. (However, the only person who wasn't reading was the shopkeep himself.) Tell tell. (A rather strapping young man who's probably read more than his fair share of sexy Next HarMEOWny gravure magazines.)"
Sailornyan's ears stood straight up and she opened her eyes wide while sweating a little after hearing that. "Uh, butler maybe you should skip ahead. I don't think what she's about to reveal is appropriate for Katie."
"It's fine, I've heard enough anyway." Informed Katie.
"But Katie," started Whisper. "We're only three minutes into the actual show. I thought you said you would keep an open mind."
"I did keep an open mind Whisper, and I'm just not enjoying what I hear. Sure, the rumors about the Yo-kai were all in good fun, but everything afterward is just plain mean to me. Again, I don't hate any of you for liking it, but it's not for me and I hope Lie-in Heart keeps her delayed forever." Katie got out of her bed and stretched. "I'm going downstairs to watch TV. Call me when it's over." When she left the room Whisper and Sailornyan looked at each other with concerned expressions. Then they started laughing after Tattlecast made another joke.
"Geez, those guys are impossible." Katie complained after she closed the door. "I wonder if Professor Vacant is on tonight?" As she walked down the stairs, she heard someone rummaging through the refrigerator. Thinking it could be her dad, she didn't pay much attention. "Dad I'm gonna watch some TV." She plopped down on the couch out of frustration and turned on the TV. To her surprise, an episode of Professor Vacant was playing, putting a smile on her face. "Awesome! Episode 26! This one's my favorite!"
"Mine too." A familiar next to her voice said.
It didn't sound like her father so already she felt nervous to look to see who it was. She turned her head slowly to see Lie-in Heart sitting next to her, eating cold gyoza, causing her to scream.