Chapter 46: Misunderstanding
Santana's POV
"Hi Miss Pierce, I've got your test results back. Congratulations it looks like you're pregnant" the recorded message says. "Just book an appointment with me when you can and we can arrange the next steps."
I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel right now about that message. I mean I had no idea Brittany had even thought she might be pregnant so I'm a little mad she didn't tell me. Although, at the same time I'm also a little excited because it's our baby and we did want to have more children. I'm also worried about this as well because Brittany had a tough time after Aiden's birth so it was really worrying when she was pregnant with Ella so I don't know if she'll want to go through with all of that again so soon.
Just as I'm replaying the message over and over in my head, wondering how to approach the subject with Brittany in the best way, Aiden runs over to me bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Food?" Aiden asks looking up at me.
"Mommy is out getting us some food right now" I tell him while picking him up and sitting him on my lap. "Are you getting hungry?" I ask.
"Yes" Aiden nods his head.
"Do you want some fruit?" I ask while carrying him to the kitchen.
"Yes" he replies excitedly before suddenly frowning. "Mommy says no" he states as I sit him down at the table.
"I know mommy doesn't like us eating between meals but I'm making an exception right now because we had a long journey today so dinner if probably overdue" I tell him.
"Ok" Aiden nods. I then put some grapes onto a plate for him and sit it down on the table in front of him.
"I'm going to check on your sister but I'll be right back" I say smiling at Aiden. He just shrugs at me like he doesn't care. He's got his fruit now so he isn't bothered about anything else.
When I walk into the room to check on Ella, she is lying quietly, cuddling her teddy bear with her eyes wide open.
"Ella Lopez, what are you doing awake?" I ask her while picking her up. "You're supposed to be sleeping because you barely slept during the whole flight" I say smiling down at her. She just stares at me for a moment before smiling back. "Come on, let's go and see your brother" I say while heading to the kitchen with Ella in my arms. When I get there I take a seat next to Aiden.
"Mom" Aiden says while holding a grape up to my face. "For you" he states.
"Thank you" I smile at him before eating the grape. I completely forget about the whole pregnancy thing for a moment because my mind is preoccupied with the kids but as soon as I hear the front door close meaning Brittany is home, the memory is back to the front of mind.
"You would not believe how busy the pizza place was, honestly" Brittany says shaking her head. "Anyway, hey" she smiles before kissing my cheek.
"Hi honey" I smile. The kids are here just now and we're about to eat so I'm going to wait until later to address the phone message. Plus I want to see if she comes to me first about this whole thing.
"Did Ella not want to go to sleep?" Brittany asks as she begins plating up the food.
"I put her down for a nap but when I checked on her, she was wide awake" I reply. "I think I'll just feed her just now while we eat and hopefully she might be ready to go to sleep once we're finished" I say.
"Yeah hopefully" Brittany smiles.
"Come on sweetheart, let's get you some milk" I say while going over to prepare Ella's bottle. Once it's ready, I join Brittany and Aiden at the table to eat while I feed Ella at the same time.
"Come on buddy, sit nicely so you can eat" Brittany tells Aiden.
"Don't like" Aiden states while glaring down at his food.
"Aiden you do like it" Brittany states. "I asked you earlier for no more tantrums today so let's keep that deal please."
"Don't like" Aiden repeats while pushing his plate away from him towards the middle of the table.
"Aiden I am in no mood for games tonight" Brittany sighs annoyed. Aiden just looks at Brittany before shrugging his shoulders at her. Clearly neither of them are going to change their opinions on the matter.
"Britt, take Ella and I'll sort this" I say while placing Ella in Brittany's arms and handing her the bottle.
"What makes you think you can sort this and I can't?" she asks.
"Because I know why he is saying he doesn't like it" I reply before pulling Aiden's plate closer to me and cutting up his pizza into smaller sizes. "Do you like it now Aiden?" I ask.
"Yes mom" Aiden smiles brightly at me.
"It's the same food" Brittany shakes her head at me.
"It must taste different cut into thin pieces rather than a large triangular slice of pizza" I shrug.
"Whatever, just as long as he's eating it" she sighs.
"Babe, what's up?" I ask while gently squeezing her knee to comfort her.
"Nothing" she shrugs her shoulders.
"There's clearly something because you don't normally get this wound up so quickly" I say. I've got an idea what's up but I need to ask anyway.
"I'm just so tired from that flight" Brittany says while briefly glancing at me to smile. "I don't think Aiden has had that many tantrums in one day before" she adds.
"Yeah he was particularly naughty today" I nod in agreement.
As soon as we finished dinner, we spent some time with the kids like we usually do before putting them to bed. Ella was asleep quite quickly but we had to read a good part out of Aiden's book before he fell asleep.
"Finally some peace" Brittany smiles at me while throwing herself to the couch.
"Yeah" I smile back.
"Of course I love our children but today really was stressful" she states.
"I know" I nod in agreement. "Hey budge up a bit" I say while lifting up her legs so I can sit on the couch with her.
"Maybe I want the whole couch to myself" she smirks.
"No I know you don't want that" I smile.
"Yeah" she smiles back.
"So…" I say as we fall into a bit of a silence. I don't want to bombard her right now with questions since we've just sat down. Also the more I think about the message the more I'm just wondering that maybe Brittany doesn't know she's pregnant. Clearly the call was to tell her the results so maybe she thought it was a false alarm or something since she hasn't heard anything back from the doctor.
"Yeah" Brittany smiles, not really sure what to say either right now.
"How have you been feeling recently?" I ask while looking at her.
"Fine" Brittany laughs.
"Why are you laughing?" I frown in confusion.
"It just seems a little random that's all" Brittany shrugs.
"It's not random, I'm just checking in with you because it's been a busy few days. We haven't really had a chance to just talk between the two of us" I say.
"Well yeah, I'm good" she smiles. This is so weird, why is she not telling me about the pregnancy. Even if she doesn't know for sure yet since she hasn't actually talked to the doctor, she obviously had suspicions to go there in the first place.
"Ok" I nod. I guess I just need to leave it there just now.
"I am quite tired though" she points out. "I think I might just head upstairs to bed" she says.
"Ok" I nod sadly. I kinda wanted to spend some time with her but I'm getting the feeling she is slightly pushing me away.
"Do you want to join me and we can watch a movie or something. I mean I'm not saying I'll be able to stay awake for all of it but I don't want you lying there bored if you're not that tired" she replies.
"Sounds good" I smile. I'm actually surprised she said that.
"Come on, let's go" she says while getting off the couch and holding out her hand to me. I take it and we head upstairs. I know we need to talk about the pregnancy and this alone time would be the best time but the kids are finally asleep and I'm exhausted. I just want a chance to relax with Britt and she wants the same I think. We aren't back at work for another few days so we have the whole weekend to talk.
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Saturday 9th July 2022
When I woke up this morning, Brittany wasn't in bed so I went to see where she was. I found her in the kitchen with Aiden and Ella giving them breakfast. As soon as Aiden saw me, he ran over to me and hugged me.
"Morning Aid" I say while hugging him back. "Did you sleep well?" I ask him.
"Yeah" Aiden nods at me with a smile.
"That's good" I smile while walking over to the table with Aiden. "You must have slept good as well last night Ella because I didn't hear you at all" I say while leaning down to kiss my daughter.
"I think we all slept really well. We must have needed it from that long and exhausting flight yesterday" Brittany says.
"Yeah we probably did" I smile at her before walking over to her.
"Moring" she smiles back before kissing me.
"Morning" I reply. "Hey come here Miss Pierce" I smile while pulling her close to me just as she is about to walk away.
"I'm a married woman. I don't go by Miss Pierce anymore, it's Mrs Lopez" Brittany smiles while wrapping her arms around me.
"You better tell your doctor that then" I mumble but unfortunately she hears me.
"I'm pretty sure my doctor knows my name" she shrugs.
"Evidently not" I shake my head.
"What do you mean?" she asks confused as she pulls away from me slightly. I don't even get a chance to reply because Aiden runs over to us and pushes us apart.
"Toilet" Aiden states.
"Do you need to go Aiden?" I ask and he nods. "Ok, let's go" I say while taking him to the bathroom. He's getting good at toilet training and knowing when he needs to use the bathroom. After we're done, we head back to the kitchen.
"I'm proud of you Aid" Brittany says smiling at Aiden as we walk back into the room. "You're doing so well with toilet training."
"Thanks" Aiden smiles back before going over to hug Brittany.
After we finish breakfast, we spend some time with the kids and just have a quiet morning. Brittany then goes to the grocery store and I put the kids down for a nap. I'm just tidying up a little when Brittany gets back home. I quickly go outside and help her bring the rest of the shopping inside. I certainly don't want her carrying lots of things when she's pregnant.
"Santana, its fine. I've got it" she laughs slightly while carrying the last bag of shopping inside as I try to take it from her.
"Fine, ok" I shrug.
"Thank you though" she smiles while sitting the bag down. "So are the children napping?" I ask as we begin putting the food away.
"Yeah they went to sleep not too long ago so they should hopefully nap for a good bit more" I smile.
"Cool" Brittany nods.
"So how are you feeling today?" I ask Brittany once we've tidied everything away.
"I'm good" she smiles before walking over to the coffee machine and switching it on. "Do you want some coffee?" she asks.
"Sure" I nod. I don't know if she is deliberately avoiding talking about this or if she genuinely doesn't feel it's an issue right now and just wants some coffee. "So you're ok then?" I ask.
"Yeah" Brittany shrugs.
"There's really nothing going on with you that you want to talk about?" I ask.
"No not really" she laughs.
"Why are laughing again?" I ask. I don't understand what's going on here.
"I'm laughing because you're being weird babe. That's twice in the last 24 hours you've asked me something like that" she replies.
"I just want us to be open and honest with each other, that's all" I shrug.
"We are" Brittany smiles before turning around to make us some coffee.
"I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything babe" I assure her. "I won't get mad if there's anything you're worried about and scared to talk to me about."
"Santana, what is going on with you?" Brittany laughs again.
"I'm trying to have a mature conversation here so can you please not laugh. It's dreadfully off-putting when someone is serious and the other person is laughing at them" I say getting a little frustrated.
"I'm sorry" Brittany apologises while walking over to the table with the coffee. "I'm not laughing at you; I'm laughing in confusion I guess. You just seem to be asking me things out of the blue so it's catching me off guard a little."
"I just want you to know if there is anything then just talk to me" I say.
"I know that and I will. Our relationship has been great lately so I have nothing to be concerned about" Brittany smiles. "Maybe we haven't been talking that deeply about things lately as sometimes we would but I think that's just because there isn't anything to worry about so there isn't anything overly concerning we need to discuss."
"There's nothing you and I need to discuss at all?" I ask.
"Well there's plenty of things we can discuss but I don't have anything that needs to be discussed" she smiles.
"Really?" I question.
"I'm getting the feeling here that I'm not saying the correct thing" Brittany frowns slightly. "Is there something that you need to talk about?" she asks.
"Not me, no" I shake my head.
"Ok that's cool then. We're both doing good and know we can talk to each other whenever we need to" she smiles before leaning over to kiss my cheek.
I am so confused right now about what's going on. Surely this conversation must make her think that we do have things to discuss. I really don't want to push her though so I think I'll leave the subject for the moment. We sit in silence for some time while drinking our coffee. I'm just about to bring the topic up because I just can't leave it anymore when Brittany moves and sits on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"Aiden and Ella are still napping so why don't you and I take an afternoon nap together?" she suggests while throwing me a flirty smile. I've got to say, it's surprised me a bit.
"As much as I would really like that, I don't think we should" I say honestly. Normally I would have been all over her by now but we can't deflect from the conversation any longer.
"You don't want sex right now?" she asks confused.
"Well obviously I do want it but you and I need to talk babe so I don't want sex distracting us from something important" I say.
"I thought you just said you didn't have anything you need to talk about" Brittany replies.
"Yeah because I don't but I think you do" I sigh. "Why didn't you tell me Brittany?" I ask.
"Tell you what?" she asks.
"Don't play games please" I sigh.
"I swear I have no idea what you're talking about" Brittany frowns.
"There was a message on the phone from when we were on vacation and apparently your test results came back" I state.
"My test results?" Brittany says surprised.
"I found it very odd because I didn't even know you had test results to get" I state.
"I actually have no idea what test results I was waiting on" she admits. "I mean I think the last time I was waiting on something was results about a mole that I got removed on my arm and they came back clear so what else would they need to tell me?"
"It wasn't about a mole Brittany so stop trying to make this out to be nothing. We have to think of the children as well at this point so just talk to me please" I say.
"What have Ella and Aiden got to do with this?" she asks in confusion.
"It's going to be their brother or sister" I state.
"I beg your pardon" she states while getting off my lap.
"Why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant?" I ask.
"I didn't tell you because I'm not" she glares at me. "God I know my weight has been fluctuating a lot lately but that is a low one for you Santana" she shakes her head.
"The doctor confirmed it" I state.
"I hope to god she didn't" she says panicked.
"You have been kinda hormonal lately so it would make sense" I say.
"Oh is that so?" she asks while beginning to glare at me slightly.
"Look we're deviating from the point so let's get back on track" I sigh. "The message clearly states that you're pregnant so there's no point in denying it any more" I tell her.
"For the hundredth time Santana, I'm not pregnant. Do you not think I would tell you if I was?" Brittany states, just as annoyed as me.
"Listen" I snap while grabbing the phone and playing the recorded message. "The truth is out now" I say when the message ends.
"Oh my god, no" she says shaking her head in disbelief.
"I know it's not what you wanted honey" I say trying to comfort her.
"No you don't understand Santana, I'm not pregnant" she states.
"There is no way to get out of this babe so denying it won't make it go away" I tell her.
"No I'm really not pregnant" she states firmly.
"Britt, come on. The message is pretty clear" I reply.
"Listen to me Santana, I am not pregnant" she sighs in annoyance. "That message is not for me" she adds.
"Well it certainly isn't for me" I state.
"Don't get smart with me" she shakes her head. "Just listen to me please" she says and I nod. "The test results are for Emma" she states.
"No they called here babe" I say.
"Ok firstly if the doctor called they would have addressed me as Mrs Lopez and secondly, Emma must have put my contact number down so they wouldn't call her" she replies.
"Please don't put this on your sister because you don't like the result" I say softly.
"I swear baby I'm not pregnant" she sighs. "I went to the doctor with Emma just before Quinn's wedding and she was so nervous. She didn't know how to tell Artie so she must have gave them our number so Artie wouldn't accidentally find out before she told him."
"You're really not pregnant?" I ask.
"I'm really not" Brittany says while sitting down next to me. "I'm really sorry if it got you excited" she says.
"As much as I want more children it did terrify me because I knew you wouldn't" I say honestly.
"I'm going to talk to Emma about this because she should have told me she wanted to put down our number. On the other hand though, she was so nervous about Artie finding out so I get it" Brittany admits.
"Ok" I nod. I'm really trying to hold it together but I can't lie, I just feel so deflated. I would say devastated but that's probably too strong a word.
"Wait…let's back up a little though. What did you mean by I've been quite hormonal lately?" she questions.
"Oh…um…" Shit I've put my foot in it here.
"Come on, explain please" she says moving closer to me.
"At times during the last few days you have been going from one emotion to another" I say honestly. "I'm guessing it's just being exhausted and stressed out with Aiden at the moment and not your hormones."
"Yeah it probably is" she nods. We're silent for a moment before Brittany leans over and takes my hand in hers. "Are you ok?"
"I can't lie Brittany, I am sad" I sigh.
"I knew you would be" she shakes her head. "I'm so sorry that this happened" she tells me honestly.
Brittany's POV
Sunday 10th July 2022
I'm currently on my way to Emma's apartment to visit her and talk about the pregnancy. Aiden and Ella are with me because I thought it would give Santana some time to herself. I feel so awful about what happened because Santana got her hopes up for nothing really. Santana is so smart and talented at everything she does but at the bottom of it all none of that matters to her because her one true goal in life was to be a mom. She has Aiden and Ella of course but she's always wanted a big family so something like this is going to sting quite a bit.
"Are you two ready?" I say as I park up the car outside the apartment building.
"Ready mommy" Aiden beams at me. He and Emma have a close bond so he always gets excited to see her.
"Ok, let's go then" I say while getting the kids out of the car and locking it before we walk inside.
"Oh hey guys" Emma says surprised to see us.
"Hey" I smile while leaning in to hug her. "Artie isn't here is he?" I ask.
"No he's at his own place" she replies as we walk into the apartment.
"Good" I state.
"Good?" Emma questions with a laugh. "Do you not like my boyfriend or something?" she asks.
"No I do but you and I need to talk" I state. "I'm going to put Ella down for a nap in your room and put the TV on for Aiden in the living room if that's ok" I say.
"Yeah of course" Emma nods. I get the kids settled and then join Emma in the kitchen.
"So, Santana and I had been left a phone message when we were away at the wedding and it was for a Miss Pierce from the doctor you and I go to. The funny thing is though, the last time I saw her was…"
"It was for me wasn't it?" Emma asks, interrupting me.
"Yeah honey" I nod.
"I am so sorry. I just panicked and put down your number because I couldn't risk Artie finding out before I told him. I know we don't live together or anything but he could have easily heard the message on my answering machine because he was checking my apartment when I was away on a work trip the other week" Emma says.
"Look I wouldn't normally mind Emma because you're my sister but Santana heard that message and assumed it was for me. You should have warned me that you gave them my number" I say.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry" Emma says feeling bad before quickly frowning. "Shit, I don't even know the result yet" she says in realisation.
"You're pregnant honey" I say softly.
"No, no this can't be right. Please tell me you're joking" Emma says frantically.
"You are pregnant, I wouldn't lie about this" I say honestly.
"What the hell am I going to do?" she asks.
"Freaking out isn't going to help for a start. I tried that when I found out I was pregnant the second time" I say while leaning over to hug her.
"Artie doesn't want kids Brittany, he told me" she states, beginning to get upset.
"Maybe he thought he didn't but since it's your child too then he might want kids" I say. I mean I've always sort of wanted kids but I wasn't fully sure until I was with Santana and knew I would love millions of little Santana's.
"No I really don't think he does want children" Emma shakes her head.
"Well either way, you still have to talk to him about this. This is his child so he has to know" I tell her.
"I know that Brittany but it's not easy to talk to someone about something like this when you know they won't like what you're going to say" she states.
"Do you want to keep this baby?" I ask.
"Yeah I think I do" Emma nods. "I do want children but I don't know if the timing is right but at the same time, I am pregnant now so I don't think I could change that."
"The only solution here is to talk to Artie. He might surprise you and want the baby too" I say honestly. "And if he doesn't then you'll just need to re-evaluate things."
"I love him though Brittany so what am I going to do if he says he doesn't want a baby with me?" she asks worriedly.
"The only way to solve this is to talk to him honey" I tell her. "I know its nerve wracking but you have to speak to him and let him know what's going on."
"I know and I'll call him later so he can come over" Emma replies.
"Ok good" I smile.
XXX
After spending some time with my sister and the kids, I head back home to see Santana. She was working on some stuff from work when we got home so I didn't want to disturb her so I made a start on dinner. I also wanted to give her some space because I know she is still sad about what happened. I do feel really bad about what happened but at the same time, I didn't know about it. I didn't know Emma gave them our number or that they had even left a message.
"Hi" Santana says as she walks into the kitchen.
"Hey" I smile. "I'm just making a start on dinner, is that ok?" I ask.
"Yeah it's fine" Santana nods. "When did you get home?" she asks while taking Ella from her bouncer and sitting down with her.
"A little bit ago but I didn't want to disturb you because you looked hard at work" I tell her.
"Ok" she nods. "Where's Aid?" she asks.
"He's getting some cars to show Ella" I reply. "He'll come thundering through in a second no doubt" I joke and just like clockwork, he comes rushing into the kitchen with his toys.
"Mom!" he shouts when he sees Santana and runs over to her.
"Hi baby, did you miss me?" Santana asks as Aiden hugs her.
"Yes" Aiden nods his head.
"I missed you too and Ella" Santana says turning to look at Ella.
"You've both been very good today, haven't you?" I say looking over at Aiden and he nods his head. "I think they both deserve a treat tonight" I tell Santana.
"Sounds good" Santana smiles at the kids. She keeps Aiden and Ella occupied for a while until I finish making dinner. We then all sit down together and eat.
"Are you still pissed about the situation?" I ask.
"I'm not pissed, I never was" Santana shrugs. I can tell there's something up with her though. She isn't really talking to me as much as she would normally. It makes me feel a bit shit really because I honestly had no idea what was going on until yesterday.
"You seem off about something babe" I tell her.
"Let's not talk about the whole Emma thing right now in front of the kids" she says and I nod. Aiden is picking up on a lot of things at the moment so it probably isn't wise.
After dinner, we spent time with the children like we always do and bathe them before putting them to bed. I've now just finished up in the bathroom after taking a relaxing bath. I'm back to work tomorrow after taking some time off for the wedding and the vacation so I'm trying to relax because there's nothing worse than the first day back. When I walk into the bedroom, Santana is already there and in bed with her laptop on her knee. I get changed and then join her in bed.
"Are you hard at work babe?" I ask while leaning over to kiss her cheek.
"Yeah" she nods.
"I'm really not looking forward to work tomorrow but I need to go back some time" I say but Santana doesn't really respond. "Talk to me please" I say.
"I am talking to you Brittany but I do have a few emails to look at right now" Santana replies.
"No I'm not just talking about just now, I mean talk to me about the situation" I say.
"What do you want me to say, I mean there is no situation any more" she shrugs.
"Talk to me about how you feel" I reply.
"Ok, on Friday I thought you were pregnant and then on Saturday I found out you weren't. End of story" she shrugs again.
"This is not you Santana so I know by the way you're acting that it's really bothering you" I tell her.
"It's not bothering me" Santana shrugs.
"Come on babe, don't hide your feelings" I tell her. "I know you want a soccer team of kids but that's a lot to ask of me especially right now" I say honestly.
"Brittany let's not do this just now, I need to concentrate on what I'm doing" she sighs.
"I think it's more important to talk right now than to send work emails" I state.
"We can talk any time Brittany whereas I can't just put off work whenever I feel like it" she replies.
"It's 10 o'clock at night, who wants to be working right now. I don't think these emails need sent right this minute because I can't see anyone important emailing this late at night" I point out.
"I don't question what you do at work Brittany so don't question how I do things for my work" she states annoyed.
"I'm sorry. I just really want to make sure you and I are ok" I tell her. I don't want to annoy her but I don't want her to be ashamed of feeling how she feels either.
"We're fine, ok" she says while giving me a lame smile before going back to what she was doing. I really don't buy it though, she isn't ok.
"Shall I just jump on and you can get me pregnant right now. Would that make you happy and be able to talk?" I ask.
"Don't be childish Brittany" Santana says glaring at me. I clearly wasn't serious but it seems like she really is pissed about something.
"I can see you don't really want to talk right now but please Santana, when you are ready just talk to me" I smile.
"Ok" she sighs.
"I'm going to get some sleep now since I'm back at work tomorrow" I say while lying down in bed.
"Ok, goodnight" she says while leaning down to kiss me.
"Goodnight" I reply while smiling. Just having her kiss me has made me feel 10 times better because I know we're not as troubled as I thought we might be otherwise she wouldn't kiss me.
Santana's POV
Monday 11th July 2022
I'm working from home today which I normally do on a Monday so the kids are at home with me too. Brittany is back at work now so it's just me alone with Aiden and Ella. They're currently napping right now though so I'm just doing some work at the kitchen table. I'm just about to make myself some coffee when I hear a soft knock on the door before someone enters the house. After a second, Emma walks into the kitchen.
"Hey" Emma says quietly.
"Hi" I reply while briefly glancing at her before looking away again.
"How are you?" she asks.
"Better than you I would say" I reply.
"I'm sorry about the message from my doctor that was left here. I just couldn't risk Artie finding out before I had the chance to tell him properly" she replies.
"It's fine" I shrug.
"No it's not fine" Emma shakes her head. "I should have told you so you knew the message would be for me and not Brittany."
"Honestly Emma, just forget about it" I sigh.
"No I need to apologise because Brittany said you were quite upset about it" she states.
"Well Brittany shouldn't have said that because it's no one else's business how I feel. My feelings are private" I say annoyed. I'm already embarrassed enough about the situation so I don't need everyone to know.
"Please don't blame Brittany, it was my fault, not hers" Emma states.
"I don't blame Brittany, of course I don't" I say honestly. That is definitely not what's going on here. I thought I was having another baby so I have a right to be disappointed and confused.
"Ok good" Emma nods.
"So how did Artie take the news?" I ask.
"I haven't actually told him yet" she replies.
"Emma he has to know" I tell her. She has known for a couple of days that she's definitely pregnant now so she needs to talk to Artie.
"I know that and I called him last night to come over but he was busy. He does need to know but it's really not for a phone conversation. I need to tell him in person" Emma states.
"Ok, fair enough" I nod.
"You know Artie pretty well because you work together so how do you think he'll react?" she asks me.
"I think he'll be elated to be honest" I reply.
"Wait…what?" she asks confused.
"I said he will be elated about the news" I repeat.
"I heard you, I'm just confused" she says glaring at me slightly for being a smartass. "What makes you think he'll be happy about any of this?" she asks.
"Because he loves children and he's always wanted to be a dad" I reply.
"No he told me a while ago that he doesn't want children" Emma shakes her head.
"He was obviously trying not to put you off him or something and trying to act cool I would guess" I say. I mean I'm guessing early on in the relationship he might have tried to play it cool and not be too full on with her.
"I'm so confused now" Emma sighs.
"The only way to sort this out is just to talk to him and see what happens" I say and Emma smirks at me slightly. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask confused.
"Brittany practically said the same thing. You two obviously think alike" she replies.
"Britt is good at giving advice and I suppose I am too but only giving other people advice. I don't tend to follow my own advice sometimes which isn't very wise" I state. I just get too wrapped up in myself that I don't see what's going on.
"Maybe you should follow your own advice and talk to Brittany" she suggests.
"I know and I will tonight" I nod. I do really need to talk to her because it's not fair on her. She hasn't done anything wrong so I don't want her to feel like she has.
XXX
I'm just in the kitchen with the children, making dinner for Brittany getting home from work. It's probably been a stressful first day back for her so I want to make her night as relaxing and stress free as possible. After talking to Emma this afternoon, it's made me think that I do need to be more aware of what I'm doing. I didn't realise I hadn't been fair on Brittany until I really thought about it earlier. I was just trying to deal with the situation the way I could so I was unfortunately only thinking about myself.
"Hey" Brittany says walking into the kitchen.
"Hi" I smile. "How was work?" I ask.
"Surprisingly ok for the first day back which was good" she replies. "Enough about work though, I want to know what my two babies have been up to. Have you been good for mom?" she asks Aiden and Ella. Of course Aiden is the only one who can reply though.
"Yes and Auntie Emma" Aiden replies.
"Was Emma here?" Brittany asks turning to look at me in confusion.
"Yeah she dropped by" I nod.
"I thought she knew I was working. She must have forgot" Brittany shrugs.
"I think she wanted to actually talk to me because she felt bad about the message" I reply.
"I know I should have told you I even went to the doctor with her in the first place but she's my sister and she didn't want anyone to know" Brittany tells me.
"I get that, I do" I nod. I think I probably would do the same for my sister.
"Please don't be mad at me" Brittany says while putting her arms around me.
"I'm not mad at you" I tell her honestly. I'm really not mad at her, I'm mad at myself I guess.
"You're really not?" she asks and I shake my head.
"That whole night I knew before telling you, I was so excited Brittany" I say. "Then when I found out you weren't pregnant I got mad at myself for being so excited and getting my hopes up. I have two beautiful children already so I really don't need to be worried about not having a third."
"This isn't me saying I want no more children" Brittany shakes her head. "I am definitely not ruling it out for the future" she assures me.
"Ok" I nod.
"Right now though is not a good time" she states. "Ella is only 9 months old and Aiden is 2 years old so I think we have enough going on right now."
"Yeah" I agree.
"I feel confident that I could go through with another pregnancy so it's nothing like that I'm worried about. My only concern is that I've only been back at work for 7 months and you're not even working full time yet. Do we really want to take more time off so soon?" she replies.
"Yeah we probably don't" I say. I think my head was running away with itself and I wasn't truly thinking what all of this could mean if Brittany was pregnant.
XXX
Brittany and I are getting ready for bed now but I do still feel a bit off about the whole thing. I know we sort of sorted things before dinner but I honestly can't just flip a switch and be ok again. I really thought we were having another baby so I'm still sad that we're not right now.
"I get the feeling you're still off with me Santana" Brittany says honestly.
"It is a lot to swallow Brittany so just bear with me please" I state.
"So you are still pissed at me?" she asks.
"This isn't about you Brittany. I don't blame you and I never did. I am just dealing with thinking I'm having a baby one minute to not having one the next. You have to get that" I tell her.
"Are we ever going to be enough for you?" she asks.
"Excuse me?" I ask offended. What exactly is that supposed to mean?
"Are Aiden, Ella and I not enough for you?" she asks. "You always seem to want more" she shrugs.
"That is not true at all" I say shaking my head.
"We had Aiden and then you were already thinking about another child then we had Ella and now you want a third child" she states.
"Ok we planned Aiden, and Ella was a surprise. I didn't go out of my way to knock you up so don't say that to me like my family aren't enough for me. Is it really such a crime to get a little excited about thinking we're having another baby?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just so confused" she states.
"I'm sorry for giving you conflicting opinions and I'm sorry for making you think you've done something wrong" I say honestly. "I love you so much Brittany and I never want you to think I'm mad at you when I'm not."
"Ok" she smiles slightly.
"Look we all know that I want 4 kids because you had 3 other siblings and so did I but that doesn't mean that I'm going to pressure you into it. In the future I want more children but I'm not in a rush right now" I say. "I can't apologise for getting excited when I thought you were pregnant or apologise for being sad when I realised you weren't."
"I'm not asking you to apologise for how you feel" she says honestly. "I just want you to know I'm here for you whenever you feel sad or whatever else."
"I know that, I just don't deal with things well but I am really sorry" I smile.
"Me too" she smiles back. "This is so messed up. We're arguing over something that isn't even an issue right now" she laughs slightly.
"It's not even about the pregnancy anymore I don't think" I sigh. Brittany isn't pregnant and I know that so I think we just need to move on.
"Yeah" she nods. "Honestly though if I could have 10 little Santana Lopez's running around then I'd do it in a heartbeat if things were simpler" she smiles.
"If we never get pregnant again then I'm ok with that, honestly" I tell her. I do love my life right now so it's fine. It's just the suddenness of everything that has got to me, I was happy one minute and disappointed the next.
"No I don't want you to be ok with that because I want us to have more kids" she states. "Right now just isn't the time but I'm 100% in for more kids in the future" she smiles.
"Ok" I say excitedly. I'm happy with that because it means it will happen at some point.
"Even though we don't want it to happen right now we should perhaps perfect our technique because when the time comes we want to be ready for the big performance" Brittany smirks.
"I have to agree" I smile.
I know some of you were excited about another baby and it will happen soon.