Chapter 61: It's not what you think
Santana's POV
Thursday 6th June 2024
I'm currently just in the kitchen with the children, trying to get them to eat their breakfast before I need to get them ready for the day. I've already got Josh and Mia to eat but Aiden and Ella just don't seem to want to. They'd rather play with their cereal than eat it so I'm starting to get frustrated. It also doesn't help that I could barely sleep last night so I get irritated a lot easier when I'm tired. I don't know what was worse last night, the fact I kept thinking about the situation with Brittany so I couldn't sleep or the fact that Brittany has nothing on her mind at the moment and slept the whole night through. Why does she get to sleep soundly at night and I end up torturing myself all night?
"Morning" Brittany smiles at me as she walks into the room.
"Yep, it is morning" I nod while pouring myself some coffee from the coffee machine.
"What's wrong babe?" she asks as she puts her arms around me from behind.
"We need to get the kids ready for day-care" I say while pulling out of her hold.
"Have I done something wrong?" she asks worriedly.
"Can you please get Aiden to eat his breakfast for me?" I ask. I know I'm avoiding her question but I don't really want to talk about it right now. I especially don't want to do it when I'm busy and when the kids are here because they'll sense something is wrong.
"Yeah, ok" she smiles at me before going over to sit with Aiden and Ella at the table. "Are you two going to eat up all of your breakfast?" she asks the kids.
"Don't like it mommy" Aiden shrugs at Brittany.
"Aiden, mommy isn't going to give in just now. You and I both know that you like cereal for breakfast plus milk makes your bones nice and strong" Brittany replies to him.
"Soggy" Ella points out causing me to internally roll my eyes. Their cereal wouldn't be soggy if they just ate it when I poured it instead of fiddling around all morning.
"Mom made it soggy" Aiden states, looking over at me for a moment before looking at Brittany.
"Mom did not do it deliberately" Brittany tells Aiden and Ella. "You always like your cereal when mom makes it so perhaps you two were messing around too much that it went soggy because you didn't eat it right away" she suggests.
"No" Aiden shrugs.
"Aiden, I think that is what happened so if you don't eat your cereal then that's fine but you're not getting anything else to eat" Brittany tells him.
"Mom, something else?" Aiden asks, chancing his luck.
"I'm with mommy on this one. You two asked for cereal this morning so that's what I gave you" I tell my son. It might seem harsh but he has to hear 'no' every once in a while, because I don't want him thinking he can always get his way.
"Not fair" Ella huffs.
"Mom and I aren't going to take tantrums lightly this morning so if you two don't eat breakfast then there's absolutely no playing at the park after day-care this afternoon" Brittany tells them.
"I want to go to park" Aiden tells us.
"Eat your cereal then" Brittany replies. Aiden and Ella look over at me to see if I'll change my mind but I just shake my head so after a minute or so, they both start eating.
"Thank you" I tell my oldest son and daughter.
"Have you eaten yet because if you haven't then I'll make you something" Brittany asks me as she picks up Mia and hugs her.
"I'm not really hungry" I shrug.
"There's no way I'm letting you go to work with just coffee. You need to eat something too to give you energy for the day ahead" she tells me while sitting Mia back down and walking back over to me.
"Honestly, I'm just not hungry. I'll get something at work later" I reply with a shrug.
"Are you feeling ok?" she asks while gently putting her hand on my forehead.
"I'm fine" I shrug again while pulling away from her.
"You don't seem fine" Brittany replies. "And can you stop pulling away from me" she says while wrapping her arms around me again.
"I don't want to do this here Brittany so please just stop" I tell her.
"I can see you're pissed at me about something so I will stop trying to hug you and we can talk about it later. Please though, eat something because I don't want you to go to work on an empty stomach" she replies.
"Fine, I will have breakfast" I sigh.
"Ok, good" Brittany smiles at me. "Take a seat at the table and I'll make you something" she adds.
"Ok" I nod. I then sit down at the table next to Aiden and Ella. Josh and Mia are still sitting in their high-chairs next to us. I keep the children occupied for a while until Brittany has made our breakfast. She then sits down next to me at the table and we begin eating. I'm just about finished eating when I hear Brittany's phone ping with a text next to me. My heart immediately drops at the sound because it reminds me about our current situation.
"It's Emma" Brittany tells me. "Her meeting at work has been brought forward tomorrow so she's asking if we can take Brooke to day-care with our kids because she has to leave a lot earlier than day-care opens."
"Oh" I nod. I know it sounds bad but I'm not entirely sure it really is Emma on the phone.
"I'll just tell her to bring Brooke here whenever she has to tomorrow and then we'll get all the kids to day-care from here" she smiles.
"That's fine" I smile back. It must be Emma on the phone because I know Artie is away on work today and tomorrow so he's not home and surely if it's not Emma then Brittany wouldn't make it so obvious about tomorrow because Brooke wouldn't really be coming here so that wouldn't make sense to make something up like that. After a minute or so Brittany's phone pings again and from where I'm sitting, I can just make out the name Emma so I'm confident right now that she is telling me the truth. That's not to say she won't get texts later on about the mystery surrounding her at the moment.
As soon as we finish breakfast, Brittany and I take turns to get ready for work before getting the children dressed and ready for the day. We then get the house locked up and head out to our cars. We get all the kids in Brittany's car since it's bigger and then we drive off towards the day-care with me following behind in my car. Josh and Mia are still getting used to things at day-care so it's better that we both go and settle them in when we can. Once all 4 children are settled at day-care, Brittany and I leave again. We're now just walking back to our cars.
"You've been really quiet since last night. Was it because I took longer at the gym than I said I would so you're mad at me?" Brittany asks me curiously.
"I've just got a lot of stuff on my mind but yeah, I wasn't happy about the time you took either" I admit. "The kids were in bed earlier last night so I thought you and I could've spent some time together but as usual you were busy" I sigh.
"I was ready to pick things up when I got back" she points out.
"I know but I was pissed so I wasn't in the mood" I say. "Can we not do this just now though because the last thing I need is to be distracted at work" I say as we reach our cars.
"Ok, we'll talk later" Brittany nods. "I'll see you tonight" she says before kissing me.
"Ok" I nod.
"I love you, have a good day at work" Brittany says smiling.
"Yeah, you too" I smile slightly. As much as I'm pissed, my love will never waver for Brittany so even if she is up to something at the moment, I know she still loves me.
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Friday 7th June 2024
Brittany and I have gotten out of bed a little earlier this morning than we usually do since Emma is bringing Brooke over. She has to head to a really early meeting this morning so like planned, we're going to have Brooke for a little while and once we're ready, we'll take all the kids to day-care. Brooke actually goes to the same day-care as the kids which is quite good so it's no trouble at all for us to take her as well since we're taking our children.
"Did you have a rough night last night?" Brittany asks me as I get Josh out of bed and she gets Mia out of her bed and then we head downstairs with Ella and Aiden running in front of us.
"Huh?" I ask confused.
"I felt like you were tossing and turning all night. Didn't you sleep well?" she asks curiously.
"Not really, no" I shake my head. We were supposed to talk last night but as usual, it never happened. By the time we got the children to bed, we were both exhausted ourselves from work so we ended up just doing our own thing and going to bed early. I wish we had talked though and I might have been able to sleep easier last night and wouldn't be so tired right now.
"Is there something on your mind at the moment?" she asks me as we get the kids settled in the kitchen, ready for breakfast.
"You know there is Brittany and last night we were meant to talk" I sigh. "Are you…" before I can even finish my next sentence, Emma comes through the front door with Brooke.
"Hey, how are you?" Brittany asks her sister as she picks up her niece and hugs her.
"I could be better" Emma points out. "I do not know how you two cope with 4 littles ones because I'm struggling with 1. Artie only went away yesterday and I feel like Brooke has played up ever since" she sighs.
"Santana and I have been there, trust me" Brittany chuckles.
"It's true" I nod. Any time Brittany or I have had to go away somewhere and the other is left with the children, it's hard.
"I don't think she liked getting out of bed as early this morning either but I just couldn't change this meeting" Emma replies.
"Don't worry about it, we're more than happy to take Brooke to day-care" I smile.
"I'll be able to pick her up from day-care when I'm finished" Emma tells us. "I should really be leaving now but thanks again for doing this for me" she tells us.
"Like Santana said, we really don't mind" Brittany smiles.
"Mommy is going to work now but I'll see you at day-care later" Emma says while bending down to her daughter to hug her.
"Ok" Brooke shrugs before running over to Ella.
"Don't I even get a kiss goodbye?" Emma asks amusingly but Brooke doesn't hear her, she's too busy playing with Ella. "I guess I'm not important when there are other kids to play with" she laughs.
"Do you know what I think this situation means?" Brittany says.
"What?" Emma asks.
"It means that she wants to be around children more so she wants a baby brother or sister" Brittany smirks at her sister.
"Brittany, don't say that" Emma sighs. "I've got enough on my plate at the moment with the child I have and this wedding to organise" she adds.
"Honey, if the wedding is stressing you out then let me know. I am your matron of honour after all so I can help with whatever you need help with" Brittany smiles.
"Are you sure you have time, won't you be going to the gym all week?" I ask Brittany but she just rolls her eyes at me.
"I'm sensing a little bit of an atmosphere, what's going on with you two?" Emma asks in concern.
"Nothing, it doesn't matter" I sigh. "You better head to work and we should get the kids organised" I tell her. I probably shouldn't be bringing other people into my issues so it's best I leave it at that.
"Ok, I'll see you both soon I guess" Emma smiles. She says goodbye to the kids and then heads to work. Brittany and I meanwhile get all the children ready to go to day-care.
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Monday 10th June 2024
The weekend has been and gone again and guess what, Brittany went to the gym both Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Don't get me wrong, we spent both mornings and evenings with the kids so it's not like they're affected or anything like that. I just wish she wouldn't be so secretive about where she is going all the time. She's still acting really weird whenever I go near her phone as well so that makes me want to know what's going on even more. I really don't think there's any way she can be going to the gym all the time. I mean yes, she likes to take care of her body and workout but this is too much 'going to the gym' so something else must be going on.
Our wedding anniversary is coming up next week so I'm really hoping Brittany can spare some time to be with me. I'll be really pissed off if she does forget about it or even decide to go and do whatever secret thing she is doing. Right now though, I need to get back to work otherwise I'll be snowed under with work all week and that's not what I want to happen.
After getting most of my work done, I'm almost finished now so I'm about to go and meet Brittany at the day-care and we can take the kids home. I can't wait to get home tonight and just spend some time with my little ones because they can always take my mind off things when I'm distracted. I'm finishing up some last-minute emails when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and check it and when I see the message, I literally want to throw my phone against the wall.
From Brittany: I'm about to go to a last-minute meeting at work. Are you ok for collecting the kids yourself tonight?
To Brittany: fine
From Brittany: I'm sorry honey. My boss sprung it on me at the last second. I promise I won't be too late home
To Brittany: I can't talk. I'll just see you later
From Brittany: ok babe, see you at home x
This whole situation isn't funny anymore. I mean I'm second guessing everything she is saying at the moment. I mean is she really going to a meeting this evening or is it some excuse. I know her boss can be a little unpredictable at times so I wouldn't put it past her to spring a last-minute meeting on Brittany but it could also just be a cover story for whatever it is she's hiding. I'm just taking a moment to calm myself down before I need to leave and get the kids from day-care.
"Hey I wanted to talk to you about…Santana what's wrong?" Artie asks in concern, clearly noticing the annoyance on my face as he comes into my office.
"Marriage problems…I think" I groan.
"What's going on?" he asks curiously.
"There is something weird going on with Brittany at the moment and the less she tells me the more I want to know" I say honestly. I'm not really one to discuss my relationship issues with anyone because it's private between Brittany and I but honestly, I feel like I need to tell someone or I'll just spiral out of control.
"Maybe she's just working on something for your wedding anniversary" he suggests.
"How do you know it's my wedding anniversary coming up?" I ask.
"Because I'm getting married to your wife's sister so she mentions things from time to time and I listen" Artie smiles at me.
"Oh, are you two getting Brittany and I a little present?" I smirk.
"I honestly have no idea. I'll leave that up to Emma because Brittany's her sister, not mine" he replies with a chuckle.
"I'm your business partner though so surely you were thinking about getting me a card at least" I reply.
"I'll see how it goes" Artie shrugs. "So anyway, you were saying about Brittany."
"Yeah, I just feel like she's hiding a lot of stuff from me right now. I mean she keeps having to go out and do this stuff which she claims is just the gym but I don't know. Then she keeps getting these text messages that I'm never allowed to see or know about" I say with a sigh.
"I really doubt Brittany is cheating on you" Artie shakes his head.
"Cheating on me?" I question. "I never said I thought she was cheating…wait do you actually think she might be?" I ask worriedly.
"Absolutely not" Artie states. "I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about because I've seen you two together and you're perfect for one another" he smiles.
"I thought so too" I shrug.
"Please don't jump to conclusions before you talk to Brittany. It might honestly not be as bad as you think" he tells me.
"Why do you seem so sure?" I ask.
"Because it's Brittany" he smiles. "There is no way she would do anything to deliberately hurt you. Anyone can see just how much you mean to her" he adds.
"Ok" I nod. "Anyway, I better go now and pick up my little angels from day-care. Brittany has a meeting at work allegedly so I need to get the kids myself."
"Yeah I'm just about to head out too. I've got some wedding stuff to take care of tonight with the guys" Artie replies.
"Wait…didn't you actually want to talk to me about something?" I ask.
"It's fine, it can wait until tomorrow" Artie smiles.
"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then" I say.
"Yeah, see you" he replies. I get my things together and then head out.
I think Artie has somewhat put my mind at rest. I mean Brittany and I do have our issues from time to time but I think I could honestly say hand on heart that we would never cheat on one another. Brittany doesn't always handle personal problems well but I think she would eventually come to me to talk before she fell into bed with someone else. I've never trusted anyone the way I trust Brittany so I'd like to say she's certainly not cheating on me but that's not to say she's not up to something else.
XXX
Once Brittany got home from her 'meeting', all 6 of us sat down to dinner together. Brittany and I spent some time with the kids before we went through our usual routine like we always do with bathing the kids before reading to them and putting them to bed. Brittany and I are now finally sitting down together in the living room. Brittany is lounging on the couch, with her laptop balanced on her lap and I'm sitting on one of the armchairs, with my laptop.
"We've not really had a chance to talk since I got home since we've been with the kids so how was work babe?" Brittany asks with a smile as she looks away from her laptop.
"It was ok I guess" I shrug. "What about you, how has your day been?" I ask.
"Pretty much the same as yours I would say" she shrugs.
"Did your meeting go ok?" I ask curiously.
"Meeting?" she frowns at me.
"Yes, the meeting you had that made you late tonight" I say. I fucking knew it. I knew she was lying to me and there was no meeting.
"Oh right, that" she sighs. "It was fine."
"You're lying to me, aren't you?" I say annoyed.
"No, the meeting was fine" she smiles.
"I meant you are lying to me about how there wasn't even a meeting, not about how you felt about the meeting" I state.
"I was at a work meeting. I was just confused when you said meeting because it wasn't even a meeting in the end because only two of us turned up so I forgot for a second what you were talking about" she tells me.
"Just save it Brittany because I'm not in the mood for pretending. Tell me straight, were you or weren't you held up because of work?" I ask.
"I was held up, yes" Brittany nods.
"Not what I asked" I say seriously.
"No, it wasn't work" Brittany shakes her head.
"I know you're keeping something from me but please don't make me look like a fool because I've never loved anyone the way I love you so if something is wrong just tell me" I say. I hate being this insecure and if this was some stupid issue with someone else then I'd just tell them to fuck off and I'd get over it but when it comes to Brittany, I can't. She means the world to me so when I think something is coming between us then I can't help getting emotional.
"I'm not making you look like a fool because I too feel the same way about you. I have never loved anyone like I love you" she smiles.
"You and I both know there is something going on between us so let's not pretend anymore" I state.
"Ok, I know you have been getting suspicious of me lately. I can tell but believe me, you don't need to worry" she replies.
"I am worried though" I point out. "You are definitely up to something" I tell her.
"I know" she nods.
"So, you are admitting it then. There is something going on with you" I say.
"There is but like I say, you don't need to worry about it. Just trust me on this Santana" she states. I suppose if she is actually admitting to something going on then it can't be too bad otherwise, she would keep lying to me and denying it.
"I just don't understand why I can't know" I say confused.
"Leave some mystery between us, huh" she says.
"I'm not sorry that I want to know everything about my wife" I state. "I didn't get married again to have another relationship full of secrets and lies so either you tell me what's going on or we're about to…"
"Don't say something you'll regret babe" she says, not letting me finish my sentence.
"Please, just tell me" I plead. It's not a great look pleading with someone like this but I don't know what else to do because I really want to know what's going on.
"Honey…" she says while putting her laptop down and walking over to me. "I promise you, there is nothing to worry about. I'm just temporarily keeping something quiet but it's not forever and you'll know eventually" she tells me as she kneels down in front of me.
"I just…"
"Trust me on this" she smiles while taking my laptop from me. She then squeezes into the chair next to me and puts her arms around me.
"If you're having doubts about us then you'll tell me, right?" I say while leaning my head on her shoulder.
"That'll never happen" she says while kissing the top of my head. "This whole thing really isn't a big deal, it's just I can't tell you what it is right now."
"Ok, fine" I sigh. I'm still not too happy about it but I shouldn't jump to conclusions either so maybe this is all something and nothing and I'll know eventually. When Brittany is with me then she doesn't actually seem any different towards me so perhaps it really isn't as bad as I think. I mean if it was something to do with our relationship then surely she would act differently towards me which she doesn't do so maybe it's not about us.
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Friday 14th June 2024
After another tough week, it's Friday again which means I get to spend the whole weekend with my 4 wonderful children. I finished work before Brittany today so I picked up the children early from day-care and then I took them to the park for a while. We spent the rest of the afternoon together before Brittany got home from work. After we all had dinner together and spent some time as a family, Brittany and I put the kids to bed. I'm now just relaxing in the living room, enjoying some time to myself.
"Not going out tonight?" I ask Brittany as she hands me a glass of wine and joins me on the couch.
"No" she shakes her head. "I want to be with you tonight" she shrugs while leaning her head on my shoulder.
"Sorry, say that again" I say surprised.
"Stop it Santana" Brittany says seriously while lifting her head from my shoulder. "I know you think I'm up to something bad and I don't want to be with you anymore but that cannot be further from the truth" she tells me.
"What is going on Britt?" I ask, my tone softening a little because I just want to know.
"All I can say right now is it's nothing for you to worry about" she says and I sigh. "I know it's not the answer you want to hear but I'm sorry. I can't tell you what's going on but you will find out eventually" she adds.
"Fine, whatever" I shake my head.
"Please don't be mad at me" she pleads with me. "I'm really not doing anything bad honey, I swear" she says while placing her wine glass on the table and moving in closer to me.
"After everything that's been going on, what do you expect me to think?" I ask.
"I get it, I do" she says while putting her arms around me. "You just have to trust me on this though" she says as she holds me close.
"I feel like I'm losing you sometimes, Britt" I admit as a few tears roll down my cheeks.
"You are not losing me, Santana" she tells me. "You have to trust me on this because this isn't you, getting upset all the time."
"Don't you think that maybe you're the one making me upset and insecure all the time?" I ask. I'm not a hugely emotional person, especially not with Brittany.
"I don't mean to hurt you. That is never my intention but honestly Santana, I am running out of ways to tell you that I can't tell you what's going on right now. You really do have to just trust me on this. Surely you can't lose all trust in me because of one silly thing" she says.
"Is this something to do with my ex because ever since you had that conversation with her you've been acting weird?" I ask.
"There is nothing bad going on so no, this isn't anything to do with Jennifer" she replies.
"Did you two talk about something I don't know about. Did she say something to you that you haven't told me about?" I ask curiously. It might just be me but things have been weird ever since that day at the restaurant with Jennifer so I don't think I'm wrong to assume the two could be related.
"As a matter of fact, she did mention a couple of things that we haven't talked about" she states. "But no, this isn't what this is and no it's nothing to do with Jennifer what I'm doing" she tells me.
"Ok, fine" I sigh.
"You don't think I'm seeing her or something, do you?" she asks.
"I don't know what I think anymore" I sigh. This is so frustrating right now.
"She cannot compete with you on any level. You are so much better than she is. You're everything I want in someone so I'm never going to want to be with anyone else. You're smart, funny, kind, caring, you're so sexy it's unreal, you're…"
"You say things like that and it totally melts my heart but at the same time, I know you're still holding back on me about something" I say, interrupting her.
"I've admitted to you that I am keeping something from you so surely that says something for me to admit that?" she says.
"It does but the more you withhold from me, the more confused and curious I am" I point out.
"We're not talking about this anymore. Yes, I have a secret and no you will not make me spill what it is. You have to trust me right now and I promise you will know everything in a few weeks" she states seriously.
"If you really love me, you would just be honest with me" I say.
"No. That is not fair" she says shaking her head at me. "It's not all about you Santana. Yes, you are the love of my life but what I am doing affects more than just you so no, I am not going to spill what it is just because you can't trust me anymore. I have told you already that you will know in time so why can't you just let it go?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just so confused" I sigh.
"You don't need to apologise because I know how it looks but honestly this is all blown out of proportion. Can you please just wait until the time is right for me to tell you?" she asks.
"Ok" I nod.
"I want you to know though that I don't blame you for acting like this ok so don't feel bad about it. Just know that I love you so much and that'll never change. I am not going anywhere and I would never intentionally hurt you so if I am, I am so sorry" she says genuinely.
"Ok" I say. "Can we just circle back to the Jen topic though, I want to know what you guys talked about and what she said about me?" I ask.
"I actually would like to talk to you about that" she says. "I'm not saying I believe her, ok, but I do want to ask you a few things" she replies.
"Ok" I nod.
"She said you were no angel in the marriage so I guess I'm asking what she could mean by that" Brittany says.
"She could mean anything by that" I say with a slight chuckle. My ex-wife would say anything she could to make me look bad.
"Did you do something that maybe you wish you hadn't or maybe that you shouldn't?" Brittany asks me curiously.
"I never cheated on her or anything like that. I guess I did sometimes put my friends and family before her when it came to making big decisions" I admit. "I'm also not proud of how childishly I handled some things but, in all fairness, Jennifer and I were young at the time and really had no business being married with how immature we acted."
"I got married at a younger age than you and Jennifer did" she points out.
"I know but Jen and I were really quite immature when we got married. You're different because you've always had quite a grown-up way of thinking" I reply. Brittany is younger than me so sometimes our fights might illuminate our age difference but she was certainly a lot more mature in her late teens/early twenties than I was at that age.
"Ok" Brittany nods.
"I think what she really meant by what she said was that not everything was her fault. She was a bitch to me but I don't suppose I was that great of a wife either" I point out.
"She seemed quite annoyed that everyone seemed to think it was all on her when you two split up and got divorced" Brittany replies.
"I guess it did look like that" I admit. "She was horrible to me though so I'm not surprised she didn't come off looking too good. Like I say though, the way I treated her wasn't the best."
"I just struggle to believe you could ever treat someone badly" she tells me.
"It's different with you though Britt. You mean more to me than she ever did" I say honestly. "I didn't treat her right because I wasn't happy in the relationship but I'm more than happy with you."
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Saturday 15th June 2024
It's just been our usual Saturday morning so far. Brittany took Aiden to dance class and Ella went along to keep Brittany company. I meanwhile stayed at home with the twins and did a little housework when I got them settled in their bouncers. Once Brittany and the two oldest kids were home, we spent some time together with all 4 children. Brittany hasn't been up to anything today so far and she hasn't mentioned that she's going out later either. I was a little sceptical in the beginning that she might sneak off when Aiden was at dance class but then when she said Ella was going, I knew she wouldn't be doing anything with our daughter there.
"I was going to put the washing machine on a cycle but it's not totally full so if you have anything to wash then I can take it" I tell Brittany.
"Um…I think I put all of my washing in the hamper" she smiles.
"What about your gym bag, is there any clothes in there needing washed?" I ask.
"Actually yeah, you could just put them in the washing machine" she replies. "My bag is upstairs so can you wait 10 minutes because I'm making Aiden and Ella something to eat right now?" she asks.
"I'll get the clothes, you stay here" I tell her while slowly making my way to the door. I'm waiting on her telling me that's it's ok and she'll get them because she's very secretive about her gym bag at the moment.
"Thanks honey" she smiles at me. The answer has totally caught me off guard because I really thought she wouldn't want me to go looking through her gym bag in case I find out what's she's up to.
"Ok" I smile back. I then head upstairs and find Brittany's gym bag. As I'm lifting out her clothes, a card falls out from between the items. I pick it up and look at it. My heart kind of plummets when I read what it says.
I hope you liked the gift and you're thinking of me whenever you look at it ; )
I just don't know what to think anymore. I still don't want to believe Brittany would ever cheat on me because we promised each other we would never do that. On the other hand, how exactly do you explain the note. Just as I'm checking the bag to make sure I got all of the clothes out, I find a box at the bottom of the bag. I lift it out and look at it for a moment before opening it. It looks like a jewellery box of some kind but it seems empty. I'm just about to put it back when the cover inside falls off and reveals a necklace. I guess my wife is now getting jewellery from mystery people and not just her wife.
I kind of wish I would never have seen the necklace now because it's made me feel worse. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss because before I knew about it, I still had hope that it wasn't as bad as I think. Clearly Brittany must have forgotten that was in there because there is no way she would let me look through her bag if she knew. It still doesn't make me feel any better though. I'm not going to confront her right now since the kids are with her but I'm going to have to talk to her soon about it before I explode.
"Did you find my clothes?" Brittany asks with a chuckle as I walk back into the room with the laundry.
"Why is that funny?" I ask confused.
"You just seem to be taking a while up there so I was making a joke" she replies.
"I see" I nod in understanding. "Anyway, I better do this laundry" I say while going over to the washing machine and putting it on a cycle.
XXX
The kids are now down for an afternoon nap. I'm just lounging on the couch, relaxing because I've decided work can wait until Monday. I'm just finding something on the TV to watch when Brittany walks into the room. She lifts up my feet and then sits down, placing my legs over her lap. We don't really say anything, she just casually strokes my leg.
"Our wedding anniversary is on Tuesday" I tell Brittany.
"I know baby" she smiles at me.
"Oh, so you do remember it then?" I ask.
"How could I forget one of the best days of my life. I mean I can't say the best because we have 4 wonderful children so all of their births were special days but our wedding was definitely right up there" she replies. "You looked amazing that day and I've never felt so lucky before to be up there marrying you" she adds.
"Ok" I nod. It's comments like these that make me feel so happy but at the same time, so confused. How can she say things like that to me but still hide something?
"What do you want to do on Tuesday?" she asks. "Ben said he would look after the kids for us. I could book us a table for dinner or we can take the kids with us if you prefer but I don't know if that's too late for them to be out."
"We don't need to do anything, it's ok" I shrug.
"You don't want to celebrate with me?" she asks sadly.
"No, I want to. I just assumed that you wouldn't want to spend it with me" I reply. "I don't want to force you into spending time with me so we don't need to do anything."
"You're not forcing me because I want to do something special" she states.
"Really, because it feels like I am forcing you into things recently" I point out.
"No, I definitely want to spend Tuesday with you" Brittany smiles. "Like I say, let me book us a table and we can have a nice dinner together and my brother can watch the kids. Is that cool?" she asks.
"Ok, we can do that" I nod.
Brittany's POV
Tuesday 18th June 2024
It's my wedding anniversary today so as soon as work is finished, I am heading home and getting ready for my night with Santana. I have made dinner reservations at a favourite restaurant of ours and my brother is picking the kids up from day-care once he finishes work and then Santana and I will pick them up after our date night from his place. I am so excited about tonight because not only do I get some alone time with Santana but we also get to celebrate the day we got married.
"What's got you looking all happy?" my colleague Martin asks me, as we sit and eat lunch together.
"Just the fact that it's my wedding anniversary tonight so I get to take my beautiful wife out to dinner and spend some time with her" I smile.
"That'll be nice" Martin nods.
"I've been so busy lately with work, the kids and other stuff that I haven't spent as much time with Santana as I would like so tonight should be fun" I say.
"Are you leaving work early?" Martin asks.
"No, I don't think I'll be able to because I've got a lot to get through today but my brother is getting the kids from day-care so as soon as I finish work, I can get home and get ready for my date night" I reply.
As soon as work is done for the day, I head home. Surprisingly I'm home before Santana so I decide to just get ready anyway so I take a shower. I'm just leaving the bathroom when I notice Santana sitting on the bed staring off into the distance. It's a little weird because she's just staring into space and not really doing anything. There's no music or TV on, she's literally just sitting on her own in a dark and quiet room. I walk over to her and sit on the edge of the bed next to her.
"You ok honey?" I ask in concern.
"Yeah, fine" she says while taking a deep breath.
"Did you have a bad day at work or something?" I ask curiously.
"I just said I was fine so if I had a bad day at work, I wouldn't be fine, would I?" she replies.
"Ok, I'm sorry" I apologise. "You just look deep in thought about something or perhaps worried about something so I was just concerned. If you're good though then that's good" I smile.
"I guess if you're showered now then I should be making an effort to get myself organised too" Santana says while getting off the bed.
"Wouldn't you rather stay seated and stare at my hotness right now?" I tease. When I finished up in the shower, I just wrapped a towel around me instead of getting dressed right away.
"I don't want us to be late for our reservation" Santana tells me.
"Fair enough" I smile. Santana then goes for a shower and I continue to get ready. Santana then joins me in the bedroom again and starts getting ready. We're both just doing our makeup now at the mirror in the bathroom. "Five years we've been married now, you deserve a medal for staying married to me that long" I joke.
"Are you sure you want to do this tonight?" she asks me as she turns around to look at me.
"Of course, I am sure. It's our wedding anniversary Santana so I want to celebrate it with you" I reply. I'm getting the feeling that something is up right now but I don't know what. I want to spend my wedding anniversary with my wife and I thought Santana would feel the same.
"Ok" Santana nods. We then finish getting ready. I'm finished first so I go downstairs and wait on Santana.
"You look wonderful Santana" I say honestly as she walks down the stairs. She looks absolutely beautiful right now. I really don't know how I ever landed so lucky to have her.
"Uh…thanks" she says, looking down embarrassingly. I find it really cute because Santana isn't someone to get shy like this.
"Shall I drive?" I ask.
"I don't mind which one of us drives but we need to take your car since we're collecting the children right after dinner" she points out. My car is the only car that can seat all 6 of us at once so more often than not we use my car rather than Santana's.
"I'll drive then" I say. We then lock up the house and head out to my car and make our way to the restaurant. When we get there, we're seated right away since we reserved our table. "Hey, I'll get that" I say to Santana while pulling her chair out for her.
"Thanks" she replies while sitting down. I then take my seat and we order some drinks before looking at the menu.
"Are you honestly sure there is nothing wrong babe because you're really quiet tonight, in fact you've been really quiet for the last few days" I say. Things have been a little weird between us over the last few days and at first, I put it down to what I had been up to but honestly, this feels more than that.
"I'm fine Brittany, just leave it" Santana sighs.
"Ok, fine" I shrug. I'm not happy about that but I'm not going to cause a scene in a restaurant and I especially don't want to cause a scene this evening when it's our wedding anniversary. It's supposed to be a fun and happy night tonight.
After looking over the menus for a while more, we both decide what we would like to eat. The waiter then comes over and takes our orders. Things are mostly quiet between us for the next while unless we're talking about the children. As soon as the food comes over, we both begin eating. I'm thinking now might be a good time to give Santana her anniversary present. The waiter has already given us our food and drinks so we shouldn't be interrupted now.
"I have something for you Santana" I tell my wife while pulling a box out of my purse.
"Ok" Santana shrugs.
"I hope you like it because I really wasn't sure what to get you" I say honestly while handing Santana the gift. We've had enough valentines' days, birthdays, Christmases and other anniversaries so it's hard to find something to give each other that we already don't have.
"Wait, what is this?" she asks confused as she opens up the box.
"It's your anniversary present honey. Don't you like it?" I ask with a chuckle since I just told her what it was a second ago.
"Brittany, how stupid do you think I am?" she states.
"Not stupid at all babe" I shake my head. Why on earth would I think Santana is stupid? This is totally not the reaction I was expecting to get. Even if Santana didn't like the present, I was sure she would still say she did so for her to react so negatively is weird and totally out of character for her.
"I know this is your gift from your piece on the side because I've already saw it and the note in your gym bag" she replies.
"Shit" I say shaking my head. "You were never supposed to find the necklace in there" I add. I really hoped she hadn't seen it the other day.
"I know because it was hidden at the very bottom of the bag" she shrugs. "Your secret is out now Brittany so you might as well tell me who he or she is because it's clear there's someone else."
"Honey, there is no one else. There never will be because I love you" I smile.
"You obviously knew I had seen it so you're passing it off as mine but really you've been given it by someone else" she states.
"I'm not cheating on you, I would never do that" I say honestly. I would be one awful person for doing that to Santana plus I would never want to cheat on her.
"Explain then about all of the secrecy because the only conclusion I come up with is that you've got someone else" she states.
"The truth is, I'm working on something for my sister's wedding and it's a surprise but I can't let you find out what it is because I want you to be surprised to" I tell her. "My two brothers, your two brothers, Artie, Mike and myself are all working on this thing."
"You expect me to believe that?" she questions.
"Look, you can believe whatever you want but I'm telling you the truth" I state. I'm a little offended that she thinks I'm cheating on her. I mean sure it does look weird what I have been up to but cheating? Really? I have never loved anyone as much as I love Santana and I thought Santana felt the same way. I thought we trusted each other enough to know we would never cheat on each other.
"I found the present with the note Brittany, so how do you explain that?" she asks.
"What note?" I ask confused.
"There was a note stuck between your clothes that said 'I hope you like the gift and you're thinking of me' or something like that" she replies.
"Oh honey" I shake my head. "The gift and the note you found don't correlate" I tell her.
"How convenient" she shakes her head, not believing me.
"The necklace is yours babe and I bought it myself and hid it at the very bottom of my gym bag. I honestly didn't think you would find it in there" I tell her. To be honest though, when she was doing laundry the other day, I forgot that's where it was so when I remembered I really hoped she hadn't seen it. "Also, why would I regift something like that if I was cheating on you?" I ask.
"I suppose but it still doesn't explain who the note was from because it sounds like they gave you something too whoever it was that wrote the note" she points out.
"Baby, the note was yours" I smirk.
"Honestly Brittany, stop making me look like an ass. I have been in no mood to write cute notes like that to you recently so don't pretend I did when I know very well I didn't" she glares at me.
"The note is from ages ago that I wrote for you and if you had dug further into the bag, you'd have seen the picture of myself that I was going to attach to it" I say. "I had planned to slip it into your work bag last week but with everything happening, I knew you wouldn't like it so I just left it and didn't bother giving it to you yet" I admit.
"I'm so confused right now" Santana sighs. "The note was meant for me?" she asks.
"Do you honestly think I would cheat on you?" I ask hurt.
"No" Santana sighs again.
"Believe me then baby" I tell her. "I love you so much. I would never do something like that and I most certainly wouldn't lie about it either. When we get home, I'll show you the note and the picture and you'll see it was meant for you" I say.
"Ok" Santana nods.
"I will never ever cheat on you" I say while taking her hand across the table. "I promise" I say before getting my phone out of my purse.
"I promise too" she says while smiling slightly.
"Ok, I can't show you what is in the actual texts babe in case it gives the surprise away but if you look at all the names, it's all people we know" I say while showing her my phone.
"Brittany, you don't…"
"Please look" I say while swiping up and down at all the names of the people I have been texting recently. The last people I have been texting besides Santana are indeed Artie, Mike, my brothers and Santana's brothers.
"Ok" she nods.
"I only ever want to be with you, ok" I smile.
"I only want you to ever be with me too" she smiles back.
"Now can we get back to this date because it's our wedding anniversary and I would really like to celebrate it with you" I ask.
"I would love that" she nods.
"You do believe me now, don't you?" I ask to double check.
"I do. I just got panicked because you were hiding things and then I honestly didn't think the gift was going to be for me" Santana admits. "I'm just not used to us having secrets but I do trust you so I should stop letting my thoughts run away with themselves."
"So back to date night" I smile. "Would you like to share some dessert with me?" I ask.
"I think I would rather have dessert at home" Santana tells me with a flirty smile.
"I want that to but we're picking the kids up as soon as we leave here" I point out. It's probably past their bedtime already so we can't really stall it any longer. I would love nothing more though than to go home with Santana and spend some well needed couples time together.
"I know but once the children are in bed and asleep then maybe you and I could get reacquainted in the bedroom" she suggests.
"Sounds good, let me just get the check and then we can leave" I say. I call over the waiter and get the check before settling what I owe. Santana and I then leave the restaurant and head out to my car. We make our way to my brother's place and go inside to get the children.
"Did you have a nice dinner?" Ben asks me as he and I get Aiden and Ella ready to go home while Santana gets the twins sorted with Megan.
"Yeah, it was nice" I nod. "Just a little heads up though, Santana knows we're doing a surprise at the wedding. Don't worry though, the actual surprise is still a secret" I add.
"I kinda had to tell Megan as well" he points out.
"Santana just got really worried that I was up to something far worse so I had to tell her" I say.
"I totally get that so don't worry about it" Ben tells me. "We've not really got long left now anyway before the wedding and the big reveal so it should all be fine" he smiles.
As soon as the kids are ready, we all say our goodbyes and then Santana, the kids and me leave. Once we get home, we get the children ready for bed. Josh and Mia were already asleep in the car so it didn't take them long to fall back asleep once we got them in bed. Ella and Aiden on the other hand took a little more time so we had to read to them first before they fell asleep. Santana and I are both in our bedroom now getting ready for bed. I've just finished taking off my makeup and Santana is still taking off her jewellery.
"Hey, come here" I say while walking towards Santana and pulling her close to me. "Dance with me" I tell her.
"There's no music though" she chuckles.
"We don't need music to dance" I smile. "You and I already have rhythm together" I add.
"True" Santana nods before wrapping her arms around my neck. We start swaying gently for a moment before moving a little quicker and dancing together. I then spin her around and pull her as close to my body as I can. I lean in and kiss her passionately on the lips. I can hear her breath hitch slightly and feel her heart beating faster against my chest.
"Would you like to move this to the bed?" I ask.
"Yeah" she replies quietly.
Santana's POV
Wednesday 19th June 2024
"Morning" Brittany smiles at me from where she is in the bathroom at the mirror. I don't verbally respond, instead I walk towards her and put my arms around her from behind. I then lean in and start kissing her neck and shoulder.
"Can we meet on our lunch breaks today?" I ask.
"We can if you want" Brittany says, turning around in my arms.
"I'll come and find you and then we can see where we go to eat" I tell her.
"Sounds good" she smiles. "You and I are good now, right? You believe me still and you trust me that I'm not doing anything bad?" she asks seriously.
"We're good, really good" I say honestly. I think I just let my thoughts run away because I'm still insecure about my first marriage. I know Brittany is nothing like my ex but it doesn't mean how I felt will ever truly go away. I'm always going to be insecure about certain things so I panic easily when something changes between Brittany and I.
"I was going to say you're the number one girl in my life but I do have two daughters than I'm quite fond of too so you're one of the 3 number one girls in my life" she smiles.
"Ok" I laugh.
"Seriously honey, there is nothing bad going on and as soon as the wedding surprise is out there, you'll see that I was doing a good thing" she says.
"I'm sorry for doubting you" I tell her honestly.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for because I probably should have just told you right away. I just really wanted this to be a bit of a surprise for you too so that's why I didn't say anything" she replies. "Don't get me wrong though, the surprise really is more for Emma so don't get your hopes up too much but what I mean is, I think you'll like it" she adds.
"I've never had a reason to doubt you before so I'm not going to let my insecurities make me do it again. I trust you with my whole life Britt and I love you so much" I say.
"I love you more" she smirks at me.
"It's not a competition but ok" I laugh. "Anyway, we should get the kids up now and get them ready for day-care" I say. I'm sure I've just heard the twins through the monitor so we should go and see if they're awake and then wake up the older kids.
"Yeah" Brittany nods. We head to Mia and Josh's rooms first and each get one of them up before going into Ella's room to wake her up. We had planned on going to Aiden's room next but it turns out he was already with Ella, playing with her.
"What are you doing in here?" I ask Aiden amusingly.
"We playing" Aiden shrugs at me like I've asked something stupid.
"Ok, well let's all go downstairs and get breakfast before we need to come back up here and get dressed" I say. We all then head downstairs and get the kids seated. Aiden and Ella are sitting at the table and Mia and Josh are sitting in their high chairs. I'm making everyone some breakfast while Brittany makes her and I coffee and puts some music on.
"Come on, don't just stand there" Brittany tells me as she dances around me.
"Mommy, what are you doing?" Aiden asks Brittany.
"I'm trying to get mom to dance with me but she won't" Brittany replies.
"Yes, because I need to get us ready for work and the kids ready for day-care" I say.
"Aiden, want to dance with mommy?" Brittany asks him.
"Yeah!" Aiden says excitedly while jumping down from his seat. He runs over to Brittany and they start dancing together.
"I'll dance with you later" I tell Brittany as I kiss her cheek. I've got to say, the atmosphere in here is a million times better than its been in a while. As much as I feel happier now, I think Brittany does too because she obviously sensed something was going on between us the last few weeks.
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Saturday 29th June 2024
It's Eva and Emma's joint bachelorette party tonight. Artie and Scott had their joint bachelor party last weekend. It didn't make sense to have them on the same weekend because we all have children so no one would be available to look after them if we had the parties on the same night so last week the ladies were in charge of the children and now this weekend, it's the guys turn. My children are being looked after by Brittany's younger brother Ben tonight but I think he might actually meet with some of the other guys and the children and they'll all hang out.
Brittany and I are just spending some time with the children just now before Ben comes over to get them and then she and I will need to get ready. Aiden wanted to play cars with Brittany and Ella so they're doing that now and Mia being Mia wanted to be wherever Ella was so she's with them as well. I'm currently just playing with Josh who seems to want to jump around on me rather than play with the toys we were previously playing with.
"M-mom" Josh says while climbing on me.
"I beg your pardon?" I say shocked. This is Josh's first word and I'm so surprised he said it to me. I know he's my son and we love each other very much but this just feels so much more special right now. Josh really latches onto Brittany a lot so for him to say his first word to me means the world to me.
"M-mom" Josh repeats while playing with my hair.
"We need to go and tell mommy what you just did" I say while carrying my youngest son over to my wife and other children. "Guess who just said their first word" I say excitedly to Brittany.
"Was it mommy?" Brittany asks, just as excitedly as me.
"Nope, it was mom" I state. I so can't help the gleeful feeling inside me right now. I especially can't help the fact I may be rubbing it in Brittany's nose right now that Josh said it to me and not her.
"Oh, that's cute" she smiles at me.
"You're not pissed he said it to me first and not you?" I ask.
"Absolutely not" she shakes her head. "I love all of my children the same and they love us both the same so I don't mind" she points out.
"I know but Josh spends way more time with you so I thought you might be a little upset that he said it to me and not you" I say.
"No, I think it's really cute that he said it to you first" she tells me. "I think it's also cute that all of our children are talking and walking now" she says. Mia said her first word last week and as much as we wished it was mom or something similar, it was Ella which was also really cute.
"Yeah, it was cute" I smile. "So, who won the car race then?" I ask. Ella, Aiden and Brittany were all racing their cars while Mia helped Brittany with her car.
"Baby Santana won both times" Brittany replies.
"I'm not baby Santana" Ella giggles.
"You are sweetheart. Every day you get more and more like mom" Brittany tells her.
After spending time with the kids, Ben came and got the children and took them to his place. Brittany and I then got ready and left in a cab to meet the other girls. We're just walking into the restaurant now where we're going to have dinner first before hitting a few different places and really partying it up for this bachelorette party.
"Oh, here they come, the inseparable couple" Eva teases as we walk over to them hand in hand.
"I don't even care what you say honey" I shrug. I'm not even going to deny that Brittany and I are practically inseparable all the time.
"When you're with someone as amazing as Santana then you'll understand how it feels to me and how you never want to be apart from them" Brittany points out.
"You do realise by saying that that you're offending your brother right now" Eva points out.
"Fair point but still, Santana is amazing" Brittany says before kissing me.
"Ladies, just sit down please because as usual you were late and we're all hungry and in need of a glass of wine" Tina states.
"Ok" I nod while sitting down. We all look at the menus and order some drinks before ordering our food. Most of us are chatting amongst ourselves just now as we wait on our food being served. "You ok?" I ask my little sister who has been quiet for some time now.
"Yeah, I think so" Eva shrugs.
"It is ok to be nervous about getting married, you know" I assure her.
"How do you do it?" she asks me.
"Do what honey?" I ask confused.
"You make marriage look so easy but I find it really quite daunting" she points out.
"Trust me, I don't make marriage look easy" I laugh. "Are you forgetting I'm on my second wife now?" I say.
"Ok, your first marriage was a mess but your second one isn't. You and Brittany are perfect together so am I failing before I'm even married if I feel so scared right now?" she asks.
"Absolutely not" I shake my head. "Just because you're scared or nervous or whatever it is doesn't mean that you're going to fail at marriage. It just means you care about it and want to make it work so I would say it's a good sign" I reason.
"Were you nervous before your wedding day to Brittany?" she asks curiously.
"Of course, I was" I nod. I certainly didn't have any doubts about being with Brittany but I was nervous about doing something to ruin it. I already had one failed marriage under my belt so I didn't want another one and I especially didn't want to ruin what I already had with Brittany. It would literally kill me if something caused us to break up.
"I love Scott so much but I'm having all of these thoughts rushing around in my head" Eva admits. "What if I'm not good enough for him or what if he is having doubts?"
"I very much doubt that" I shake my head. "I've seen the way you two are together and you're great as a couple and as parents. There is no doubt in my mind that you two are meant for one another" I say honestly.
"But what…"
"I'm your big sister and you have to listen to me when I say something" I smirk at her.