Disclaimer: Stephane Meyer owns twilight.
45
BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Smack!
I groan as I breathe in the hot dusty Phoenix air. Well that didn't go so well.
It seems as though every time I try to avoid getting on the plane Renee manages to convince me to do that very thing. Either through unintentionally making me feel guilty by saying that Charlie's been so happy at my saying I would live with him or by saying I should already use the already paid for ticket to visit him. Don't get me wrong she's thrilled that I want to stay with her, because she didn't really want me to leave in the first place, even if it meant she would have to stay apart from phil for months at a time.
That was one part of being a mother that she didn't fail in. She may have been a diabolical chef and forgetful when it came to paying for the bills, but she always put me above everything else in her life. Phil was the first man she had ever brought home for me to meet. She had dated throughout my childhood but she'd kept her family life private until she was sure that the relationship was serious and she could trust them with me. Even when she invited phil around for dinner she asked me what I thought of him afterwards. She never made me feel like second best. She valued my opinion and I loved her so much for that. Phil was a nice man, a little young maybe but nice all the same. I was happy for her.
It's because of this reason that it's making me so hesitant to do what needs to be done. I can't tell her I'm not leaving. I can't tell her I'm not going to get on that plane to Forks. I have to run away.
I blink trying to clear my eyes of the tears that have welled up there. They make my lashes stick together and wet my cheeks as they spill down my face. The clear drops taste salty on my lips.
I don't want to cause my mother any unnecessary pain. I know she'll be out of her mind with worry when she realises I've not arrived in Forks. I'm going to break her heart, just like I'm breaking mine. I know from experience the love a parent feels for a child and I know that there's nothing she wouldn't do for me just like there was nothing I wouldn't have done for Renesme.
There are hundreds of thousands of words in the English language but there isn't a single one for a parent that has lost a child. Someone who has lost a husband or a wife is a widower and a child with no parents is an orphan, but there are no words for a childless parent. I think it's because it's a different kind of love, and that there just isn't a way to describe what the magnitude of grief feels like.
"Bella! Come on sweetie we're going to be late."
"Coming!" I holler back at her as I scrub the evidence of tears from my face.
I shove on some jeans and scrape my hair back into a simple pony tail. Looking around my tidy room I look for anything I might have forgotten. Sometimes repeating stuff makes you overly cocky and forgetful. Satisfied I've got everything, I bound down the stairs to where my mother is waiting.
"Phil says he's sorry that he can't come to the airport with us honey but he has a game."
"That's alright we said goodbye last night."
For once I want him to be here. I want to look deep in to his eyes and make him promise that he'll be there for my mother in the hard times ahead. I want to know that she's going to be okay. I want to know that when my mother finds out of my disappearance she will have someone to lean on, someone to stay strong for her. I want him to tell me he will.
The car ride is filled with my mothers inane constant chatter but instead of tuning it out like I usually do, I drown myself in it. I close my eyes and focus on her voice on the way it sounds, the pitch of it, the way it resonates when she laughs, I never want to forget this moment. She seems so care free.
When the car stops I'm practically shaking. What if the cops catch me, what will I say? How could I tell my parents I ran away to get away from vampires that want to kill me because apparently my blood smells amazing? I don't think I could bare the look of hurt on their faces if they saw me again after I ran away.
"You know what mom, I can take it from here."
"Are you sure honey? I wanted to wave you off."
I wince "it's fine mom they probably won't let you past the passport and baggage checks anyway, seeing as though you don't have a ticket."
She frets for a moment before agreeing. "Alright but you have to call me when you get there, and call if you have any trouble with Charlie."
"Will do mom" I say as she wraps me in a tight hug and squeezes.
As I start to walk away she shouts "call me if it's raining!"
"Mom it's Forks, it's always raining!"
She chuckles and waves at me until she disappears in the busy throng of people that crowd the busy airport.
Once I get past the mile long queues for passport and baggage checks I make my way into the departure lounge. My plane doesn't board for another hour and a half and there's the delay that will be announced in a few minutes that will make it two hours till the plane boards. Perfect. The announcement of the delay will be the best time to make my move.
I make my way to the small airport bookstore and pick a few books for the journey. As I'm about to leave I go back and pick up a couple of sandwiches a bag of crisps and a few bottles of water. The cashier looks at me with a raised eyebrow, but smiles and laughs sympathetically when I embarrassedly tell her I have a long flight and that I hate plane food.
"Doesn't everyone?" She laughs and pats my hand.
Going back to the seats I sit and nervously sip on some water as wait for the announcement. It feels like people are staring at me, like I have a big sign over my head saying 'I'm running away! Please remember me and tell the police which way I went'. It's ridiculous of course because I know everybody's way to focused on their own flight to focus on the lone teenager sitting quietly in one of the lounge seats.
I'm so busy looking around checking people aren't looking at me that I almost miss the lady announce the delays over the tannoy system. Relived I can finally get out of here I make an over exaggerated groan for the security cameras and drag myself to the toilets. It's important that I don't raise suspicions. If I'd have left as soon as I'd arrived it would have seemed fishy when the were watching the tapes back trying to find me. This way is much more unassuming. Just a normal bored out of her brains teenager looking for something to do before her flight.
I spend some time in a cubicle before going to wash my hands and stepping out of the second exit, just like I did when I was here with Alice and Jasper. When I notice the camera above the exit I lean against the door pretending to breathe in the hot smoggy air and then lazily make my way down the steps. Making sure it just looks like a tired walk I make my way over to where the coaches park nearby and wait sitting on the nearby curb.
This is it I'm finally doing this. It's nerve wracking and exhilarating all at the same time, although mostly scary as hell. I can feel adrenaline pumping around my body and it steadies my resolve. When a group of people walk past I covertly mingle with them hiding from all the cameras. I can see an exit up ahead so I dart out of the group and across the narrow road.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Thud.
Pain explodes in my hip and in my back, and I'm left lying crumpled thirty feet away staring at the pale blue Phoenix sky that seems to be swirling and crashing down on me.
You have to be shitting me, I didn't even make it out of the car park for heavens sake! Ugggghhhhhhhh!
BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP!
~ 46
..." I hate plane food." I say blushing.
The cashier laughs and pats my hand, "doesn't everybody?"
"Yeah" I mutter making my way back to the lounge area. I feel slightly less paranoid this time around, nobody tried to stop me from leaving last time, though I wouldn't really know seeing as though I didn't exactly make it that far.
I couldn't believe it, I was hit and killed by a car in the only time I didn't look left and right. I swear my parents should have called me Murphy because everything in my life that could go wrong always does.
I'm still grumbling about the unfairness of my life when I make my way out of the airport. This time when I cross the road though I wait until the taxi drives past and then I look both ways before dashing across it to hide behind the row of busses that take up this side of the road. I breathe in shakily, the adrenaline still rushing through my veins.
I think about hailing for a cab from nearer to the entrance but that would draw to much attention to myself, the taxi driver might remember me, it's better to stay hidden. I could get on one of the busses that I'm hiding behind but they're to close to the airport and it's the first place they'll check when they find out I've disappeared. I can just imagine it now my face plastered across every television on all the states on the east coast, Amber alert, my dad will make sure of it. Why can I never just be the wall flower?
I remember there's a bus station only a few miles from here and it's not to far to walk. Tightening the straps on my rucksack I set off walking to my future and hopefully my freedom from vampires.