Chapter 13

Underneath a Star Leaden Sky

S.A. 545

Elarinya sat beside the frigid stream, watching the young children play in the distance, as she washed the pile of clothes beside her. She smiled fondly. It was ten year to the day she had found Maglor on the cold and barren sea shore. Soon after they left the artic shore and made their way inland with her companions where they had come across the Lossoth, northern men descended from those of the Forodwaith. Their initial encounter had been rather hostile, the culture of the northern men was primitive, and they were wary of the strange tall travelers. None still alive had met elves, only their long dead ancestors had during the wars.

Eventually they were able to come to an understanding and within a few years they were accepted among the people. They camped at the base of the Blue mountains at the start of the river Lune. The land was a vast tundra, covered in ice much of the year, even their homes were made of ice as the temperatures never rose above freezing, and such had it been since the great wars, the evil of Melkor still lingering on the land.

They learned the ways of the Lossoth, how to fish when the river, ponds, or even the bay of Forochel would freeze over. While they did not need ice shoes, for elves did not sink in the snow, they learned to use sleds for travel and how to find plants and berries that were edible for nutrients. She smiled at the memories.

However, her thoughts quickly grew darker as the children ran off into the woods after one another. Ten years she stayed because Maglor did. Ten years she had tried to make progress in their strange relationship, but they were at an impasse. She had come to realize that she had been fading as she had traveled across Middle Earth and that Maglor was her fëa mate, it was he to whom her soul had been yearning for. There was a darkness in Maglor, Elarinya knew this, she saw it in his eyes every day, his past was haunted, but he refused to talk about whatever it was. She felt torn, it had not been long before she told him of her past, her nightmares, how the blood and death haunted her. Still he remained silent.

She pushed up from the ground, neatly placing the wet clothes in her basket as she walked back to camp to hang them by her fire. For the first time in many years her soul felt heavy. Doubts clouded her mind, and as close as she was to her companions, she was not sure she could speak to them about her fears. Over a year they traveled with her, stayed by her side, leaving all they knew behind, and had remained with her, and there was nothing she could offer them in return, nothing to show for their sacrifice. Ellethwen had at least found happiness with Faelon and they had been granted the joy of a little boy five years past.

Elarinya felt their eyes on her as she hung the clothes, they were all too close, and they knew matters bothered her, it was as if they had a sixth sense, especially Veryan. She felt him approach as Elladyr hooted a greeting from above, burrowing into himself against the cold breeze.

"You are troubled," the older elf stated. Gazing into her eyes, and what he saw worried him. The brightness he had come to see was dimmed, a bleakness shadowing that joy.

She smiled, trying to hide her true feelings, "Just thinking," She replied, knowing he did not believe her. Also knowing that he would not press her.

"You still have many here who care about you, you know where to find us." His voice was soft, and his meaning clear, but she was not ready, not yet.

"I think I will go ride, Calanon needs to stretch his legs."

Veryan accepted her abrupt change of subject, knowing she would not talk until she was ready. He also knew he, nor the others were who she wished to speak to. Though he would not interfere, it was not his place to meddle in the two elves affairs. There was a brooding darkness in Maglor, one he was not unknown to, not many would be able to handle such darkness, Elarinya, he knew, could handle anything thrown at her. She was bold, and she was headstrong, she would not keep quiet from much longer.

…

The wind was brutal as they galloped across the land, stinging her face that was not covered in thick wolf skin. Tears rolled down her cheek from the cold, freezing as they fell. She came to the sea cliff quicker than she realized as slowed Calanon to a walk as she gazed over the edge. The waves crashed along the rocky shore. Elarinya let the stallion find his way down to the shore and dismounted once he reached the bottom. Walking to the exact spot where they first met, she sat down on the rough sand wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin atop her knees, she starred out over the water that glistened in the intermittent sunlight.

…

Maglor walked through the camp, smiling as children ran in front of him, causing him to have to come to a quick halt. He was about to continue to his hut when voices caught his attention. Normally he would not have eavesdropped, but the voices spoke in elvish and he heard Elarinya's name.

"I am worried about her," Ellethwen spoke.

"There is a darkness returning to her eyes," It was Veryan who answered.

Faelon's voice was heard next, "Is she fading again?"

Maglor froze, his breath stuck in his throat. His mind became a whirlwind of activity, his thoughts a jumbled mess. Fading? How could she be fading? It was not possible, was it? What did they see that he did not? Though in his heart and the back of his mind he knew but would not let himself believe. Without thinking, he rushed forward, gabbing his heavy tunic and setting off in the distance. He did not have to ask where she was, he just had to focus and follow his heart, he could feel her, and right now she was a good distance from him.

Once outside the village, he ran, feeling her grow stronger. It did not take him longer to figure out where she had gone. He had not been to the beach since he left with Elarinya and her companions ten years ago. He had not planned to return at all. She was there, sitting on the shore, in the spot that would forever be burned into her memory.

He walked until he stood behind her, she did not speak, though he knew she was aware of his presence.

"What are you doing out here?"

It was a few moments before she responded, and when she did her answer was short, "Thinking." They were both quiet for a few moments before she spoke again, "It has been ten years to the day that we meet. It was this exact spot." She remembered the feel of his lips against hers, the taste of him permeating through her body. He had not kissed her since, except a peck to her forehead on a rare occasion.

"I cannot give you what you seek." He spoke, struggling to keep his voice neutral, he could not risk giving her any inclination that he would budge.

"How can you know what I seek, you have never asked?" She retorted, standing to face him. "I traveled from the farthest reaches of Middle Earth to find you."

"I never asked you to." Maglor regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. He saw the shock register on her face, the hurt that replaced it as if he had slapped her. He opened his mouth to speak, but he did not have the words, nothing could take back the harsh words. Too long he had been alone, too long he had built a wall around himself to protect himself from others, from his past.

"No, your soul did, it has called to me since I have come of age, for over 1,000 years, you have called to me."

He cupped her cheek, "Elarinya, I am not a good ellon, I have done terrible things, my people despise me, and they have every right to, I will never be accepted, and because of that you would be shunned. I cannot ask you to bear the burden of my past."

She ran her hands up his chest, "It is not up to you to decide what I can bear."

"My past…" He began, but she silenced him, placing a finger over his lips.

"Your past haunts you, the shadows are always there, in your eyes. You have your past and I have mine, but our future, it is what we make it, and I do not wish to spend mine alone. You will tell me your story, all of it Maglor, and I will be the judge of bearing it."

He looked at her long and hard, there was no joke in her eyes, she was serious. She was in pain, pain of his causing. Maglor's heart ached at the thought, and he knew it would be hurting much more soon. "Very well, I shall tell you my story. Come, there is a cave we can take for shelter, it will be a long night." Quietly, she followed him towards the cliff, whistling for Calanon.