Chapter 3

Dimitri

I knocked on the door to our room and said Rose's name over and over again. When silence responded to me, I began to worry. As I knocked again I heard a thump that sounded like someone collapsing. I took out my key and turned the lock. When I opened the door I heard a scream and I'm not really sure where it came from. I found out soon that the scream was coming from me. There she was lying on the floor at an awkward angle with a stake piercing her heart. I ran over to her and held her in my arms.

"Roza, Roza. Say something. Say anything please. This can't be real, it just can't be," I said with tears running down my face. I broke out into a sob as I leaned my head into her chest. I held unto her as tight as I could and I refused to let her go. I heard someone running into the room and say my name but I didn't care. All I cared about was Rose. I had to protect Rose. The person left and soon more people came into room and then I heard another scream. This time it was coming from Vasilisa. I lifted up my head and watched as she sprinted next to Rose's side. She grabbed her hands and started shouting her name over and over again. I watched as she closed her eyes and I could feel an electricity in the room.

"Dimitri, when I say now I need you to remove the stake from her chest. Can you do that?" Vasilisa asked staring at me with fear and worry in her eyes.

I nodded yes and gently placed Rose back on the ground. I had my hand around the stake and Vasilisa had her hands hovering near mine.

"Now!" Vasilisa exclaimed.

I removed the stake quickly and as the blood rushed out, Vasilisa shoved her hands over the wound and closed her eyes again. Again I felt the electricity in the room as I watched Vasilisa's face tighten. The paleness of Rose's skin began to turn back to the color of life and I fell forward when I heard her gasp for air. Vasilisa fell backwards and Christian was right there to catch her. Guardians swarmed in and I saw Helen and Nathan among them. Both of them came to my side and helped me to my feet as I watched Rose get put on a stretcher. It wasn't until they hooked up the monitor that checks your pulse that I believed that she came back. I heard the beep, beep, beep of her heart loud and clear but one of the guardians said it was barely there and that they needed to get her to the hospital immediately. They lifted her up and ran her out of the room as I ran along side them holding Rose's hand praying to God that I wouldn't lose her.

What happened afterwards turned into a blur. Once we got the hospital, they instructed me to let her go so they could take her into the operating room. Lissa had stopped the bleeding momentarily but it started again when we arrived inside of the hospital. Rose's blood was everywhere I looked and it was all I saw when they wheeled her into the operating room. I sat on the bench right next to the doors they went through. I clutched my hands together, bowed my head and began praying to God for a miracle. I didn't realize I was shaking till a second set of hands grabbed mine and I looked up to see Helen giving me a sad smile.

"She's going to be okay Dimitri. Remember, Rose is strong. I don't know what made her do this but there had to be a reason. She isn't the type of person to do things randomly. She wouldn't jeopardize everything she has if it didn't mean something," Helen said.

I nodded in agreement and lowered my head again to go back to praying. Time went by so slowly that I eventually lost track of it all. I don't know how much time passed but eventually one of the doctors came out of the doors and approached us. He had a stern look on his face and he looked back and forth between me and Vasilisa.

"She survived. She's out of danger now. She will require lots of rest but, she will make it through," he said.

Vasilisa fell to her knees and cried tears of joy as I stood there in shock as joy and relief flooded me. The doctor told us it'll be a little while before we could see her but that when she was ready to have visitors he would come get us. I sat back down in the chair I've been sitting in this entire time I leaned back, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pictured Rose lying next to me in our bed. Her face so relaxed that her mouth is slightly opened and her face looks completely tranquil. I always tried to wake up before her so I could just take her in. The smell of her shampoo, the smell of the little amount of perfume she puts on that smells like lavender, the softness of her fingers and the toughness of her palms. Laying there next to her with me arm around her waist as I drew small circles into her lower back with my fingertips, was the happiest moments of my life. I thought that this would never happen once I returned to being a dhampir after being a strigoi. I never thought that I could have Rose back. Yet she never stopped fighting for me. Even when I hurt her and tried to push her away, she kept being there and looking at me with nothing but love in her eyes. She never left me even though I made her believe that I had left her. She fought for so long to save me when I was strigoi and now she was fighting again for her life and there's nothing I can do. It's just like when she got shot all over again. I was completely helpless then and I am completely helpless now.

I remained lost in my thoughts until the doctor came back and told us we could see Rose. We traveled together and when we reached her room we paused in front of the door before entering. Rose was on the bed with tubes coming out of her from every direction. She had a mask on her face, a tube coming out of her chest, a tube connected to her hand that linked up to a bag next to her, wires that poked out from under her gown that were all along her chest. I stopped at the entrance of the door as I took her in. I wasn't prepared to see her like this and seeing her now is tearing me apart. I knew she would be okay but as I look at her now I wonder why she did it and was it worth it?

Vasilisa walked up beside her bed and the hum of electricity in the room told me that she was using spirit to heal Rose's injuries. The doctor stood next to Vasilisa and watched in awe as the color of Rose's skin began to turn back to normal and when her eyes started to flutter. The doctor barked out orders to his coworkers to take the tube out her chest and disconnect the other tubes and wires from her. Vasilisa stayed right there next to her holding her hand, her eyes closed as she concentrated on healing Rose. After everything was removed, Rose began to move and surprised us all when she sat up gasping. She looked around the room until her eyes found mine. Her eyes widened as she saw the tears falling down my face as I held my hand to my mouth to quiet the sobs that were escaping me. She smiled a small smile and said, "Hey comrade, I'm back."

Rose

When I decided to take this risk, I never thought of what this would do to Dimitri. As I sat up in the bed, I found him in the room and was shocked to what I saw. Dimitri is not a crier. Seeing him cry is as rare as seeing a moroi and human relationship. It's not something that happens often. Yet, there he was crying with a hand held over his mouth and his body visibly shaking. Seeing him like that made me feel like the stupidest person ever. Sure, I did what I did to become shadow kissed to Lissa again but I didn't think it would hurt Dimitri like this. I never thought that my actions would cause him to end up like this. But here he was sobbing with nothing but relief in his eyes. How long have I been out? How long was Dimitri suffering about not knowing what was happening to me? This is the second time that I have been hurt and there was nothing Dimitri could do to help me.

I couldn't stand to see him like this. I wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay. I smiled a small smile and said, "Hey comrade, I'm back." He had to lean against the wall to prevent him from falling to the ground. Helen and Nathan were right there next to Dimitri and they grabbed his arms to help him stay standing. I saw Helen whisper something to Dimitri and he nodded to her agreeing with whatever she was saying. He wiped his eyes and stood up straight never losing eye contact with me the entire time.

You really scared us Rose. I thought that we were really going to lose you this time. I thought it was all over and yet again you defy death and come back to us.

I turned immediately to Lissa as a sad smile crossed her face. The bond was back and Lissa could tell that it was back. It was overwhelming to have her emotions, her thoughts and her fears all slamming into me at the same time. It's been so long since we had the bond that I forgot how tough it is to manage it and keep myself from going crazy. But my planned worked. The bond was back and I could feel the large amounts of darkness that surrounded Lissa and her mind. I closed my eyes and began pulling the darkness from her into me just like I used to. I was able to pull some before my entire body started shaking from the side affects of the darkness. I realized it was going to take time before I could pull as much as I used to but at least I will be able to pull some.

Shock crossed Lissa's face followed by sadness and she seemed to realize why I did what I did. She confirmed it when she said, "You did this to become shadow kissed again didn't you Rose?"

I looked straight into her jade green eyes and nodded. She shook her head, stood up and walked out as tears were streaming down her face. All the guardians in the room followed her leaving me and Dimitri alone. Dimitri sat in the chair that Lissa was sitting in and took my hand in his. He squeezed my hand with both of his and hunched over, his hair covering his face. I felt him kissing my hand and then I felt wet drops on my hand. I realized he was crying and sadness plagued me. I leaned over and touched the top of his head with my other hand. I pet his hair as I felt his body shake from sobbing. I could hear almost like whimpers escape him and the sadness I felt grew into depression. I had done this to him and I am the reason the strong, reliable Dimitri was now hunched over and sobbing.

After some time passed he sat up and pulled me into him to kiss me. His lips were wet from the tears he shed and he kissed me with such longing and relief. He kissed me as if it was the first time we ever kissed. He pulled back and kissed me on my forehead and cheek before climbing into bed next to me. I moved over so we could lay there together in the bed. We laid on our sides so we could face each other and look the other in the eye. He brought up his hand and stroked my cheek as if he couldn't believe that I was alive.

"You really did all of this for her didn't you? You weren't kidding when you said you wanted to become shadow kissed again were you?" he asked with exhaustion in his voice.

"Yes, it was for her. I couldn't stand seeing her continually falling apart knowing that there was something I could do about it. I knew it would be a risk a but I had to take it. I had to try. If there was a chance that I could do anything to help her then I was going to take it. I'm her guardian and it's my job to protect her from anything and everything. This is something only I could do and I had to do it." I said.

"There were other ways you could have helped her Roza. This wasn't the only way. Do you have any idea what this did to me? Do you understand what it would do to me when I walked in to see you on the ground with blood all around you and a stake in your heart? Do you understand how much it killed me to sit in that waiting room hoping and praying that the doctor would come out and tell me that you would be okay? This killed me Rose. I thought I had lost you forever and I honestly didn't think I could go on without you. You mean everything to me. You are my light and my salvation and I am lost without you. I need you Rose. I need you to stay alive because without you, I won't be myself anymore." He said with fierceness.

I sat there in silence after he spoke. He was right: I didn't think how much this would hurt Dimitri. I just had the goal of helping Lissa in mind and I didn't stop to take him into consideration. I closed my eyes and tried not to cry as regret and anger come over me. I felt Dimitri's hand whipping something under my eye only to realize I had begun crying. I told those damn tears to not come out and yet here they are flowing out of me like a fucking waterfall. I leaned forward and buried my head in Dimitri's chest as I began to sob. I kept repeating "I'm sorry" to him over and over again as I screamed in agony into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him and I felt him kissing the top of me head and stroking my hair. When I quieted down I laid there in his arms just focusing on how much he loves me and how much I love him.

"Roza?" he asked.

"Yes?" I said.

He pulled back to look me in the eyes once more with a smile on his face. He put both hands on either side of my face and said, "Lets get married."