Author's note: Hello my wonderful readers :D Welcome back to 'A life worth living'. I'm so sorry it took longer than I planned to update, but I hope this long chapter makes up for it! Let's just say I have been distracted by a number of things the past couple of weeks, but I plan to be back on track now, and hope to post up at least one more chapter after this one before I return to uni at the end of this month. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please remember to let me know what you think by leaving me a comment Thank you!
'A life worth living'
Chapter 2- Recognition
Edward's POV
It took a couple of minutes for us to fully comprehend and appreciate just how ignorant we were of the unique subset of humans that surrounded us. If we were to remain in Godric's Hollow, which was still our intention, we needed to consider how to behave around these humans, so as to prevent being identified as either Muggles or the non-human creatures we were. So, in a brief conversation in which Carlisle did most of the talking, we agreed to remain silent whilst in this town to reduce the chance of being discovered. Although we felt threatened by these humans and our instincts tended towards rigidity and hypervigilance, we forced ourselves to be relaxed and animated to avoid suspicion. However, the realization that we would be perceived as a threat for more than one reason among these strange humans, in addition to our uncertainties regarding the extent of their capacity to harm us, if any, made it difficult to maintain believable facades. However, years of practice rendered us able actors, and it did not take long for my family to master the enthusiastic air of the humans around us. We kept as silent as possible with smiles plastered on our faces, as I led my family into the square. The further we entered into the crowd, the more anxious and confused we felt, as we constantly reminded of our ignorance. Jasper was struggling to maintain his composure due to bearing his own emotions as well as ours and the hundred or so humans surrounding him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice reach over to hold his hand, which seemed to calm him slightly. Thankfully no one noticed our shaky expressions and continued to assume we understood what was happening.
Jasper and I used our gifts to scan the groups of humans around us for any fears or suspicions regarding who or what we are. Of course, we would have left the town immediately if Jasper, Alice or I sensed we were in potential danger, but to the contrary, these humans were more inclined to welcome us into their celebration simply for being near them- all thoughts of us potentially being 'Muggles' completely escaped their notice. Thankfully, the overwhelming joy they felt that the man who should not be named had disappeared meant that no one paid us any attention except to give the occasional cheer or shake one of our hands with enthusiasm. Although there were moments of awkwardness, our ice-cold skin being the greatest concern, we were mostly relieved by the reception we received.
Gradually I discovered that even the loss of the Potters could not dampen the overwhelming level of happiness that filled the town. I puzzled over how their relief at His demise could outweigh the tragic deaths of their neighbours. I concluded that this murderer- the 'He' they referred to was not simply a one-off killer, but a terrifying psychopath where his downfall was worth the lives of two young, respected people.
As we continued to explore the small town, the thoughts I heard pertaining to my family were generally identical regardless of whose mind I was listening to: either they assumed we were visiting someone in Godric's Hollow, without bothering to question who, or they were fixated on Rosalie who they seemed to think was a 'Veela'. At first, Rosalie was alarmed at being singled out, and turned to me abruptly to see if I had any inclination of what exactly she was being identified as. Curious and slightly concerned as to what being a 'Veela' meant, I began to probe the minds of those around me in search of an answer. Soon, I was growing impatient that I still had not discovered what it meant, for the thought would only briefly enter their mind before returning to the topic of You Know Who and the Potters. My lack of information, in conjunction with her continually being identified as a 'Veela', soon became an offensive term in Rosalie's mind; she was no longer amused. When the seventh man to pronounce her a Veela did so well within earshot, I discovered through his thoughts that he had not only seen multiple Veela in his lifetime, but remembered them all perfectly. I hid a smirk when I realized that Veela are women so breathtakingly beautiful that men become momentarily incapacitated by their beauty. All Veela appeared to have an unnatural grace with long, straight blonde hair, flawless skin, and an otherworldly air. This particular man felt they were like 'Goddesses'. When I quietly informed Rosalie of this, her smug smile was almost repulsive. Nevertheless, I was glad they believed Rosalie was a 'Veela' because it seemed to distract them from considering we were anything else but her human companions. However, finding out the truth become an endless and reversible spiral. Now that she knew what a Veela was, if Rosalie was not identified as one by a handsome man, she would exude a huff that quickly became annoying. I was thankful Emmett was unable to hear her thoughts, though he would probably take it in his stride and tease Rosalie later for wanting the attention of a humans anyway.
After twenty minutes of walking around the square, we overheard a conversation that caught our attention. The topic discussed was interesting for two reasons: one, because someone had mentioned seeing Albus Dumbledore since Bathilda had appeared in the square; and two, because multiple inhabitants were either extremely excited about this news, or tossing it aside as complete nonsense. I was curious myself whether this man, who so many admired, was actually present in the town. I led my family closer to this woman who was still announcing to all who would listen that she saw Albus Dumbledore near the Potter's house with a baby in his arms. I tried to ignore the multiple assertions from others that her poor eyesight would not have permitted her to identify who it was, so I could hear her own specific thoughts and memories. Eventually, I was close enough to see that she was well over 100, but her memory was clear and accurate, which I found strange considering her age.
In her mind, I saw a replay of what she saw. Although it was dark, there was an evident silhouette of a tall figure wearing loose material and a pointed hat standing near a house. Then suddenly the figure disappeared into thin air. Having never seen Albus Dumbledore, I could not determine whether it was him but it most certainly was a tall, human being capable of performing magic. He did not appear to be holding anything in his arms, so I concluded this person did not escape with the now famous Harry Potter. But there was someone there, and I found myself desiring to understand why they did not join in with the celebrations. My only explanation was they had something more important to do... or perhaps this person believed the death of the Potters was not worthy of celebration…
When the crowd begun to disperse, bored by the elderly lady's continued rants about Albus Dumbledore being here without at least having the decency to say 'hello', I quickly whispered to my family what I had seen in her mind. They nodded their heads in understanding, and I was about to suggest that we walk in the direction Bathilda had pointed to previously in the hope of examining the Potter's house for myself, when a group of locals joined the crowd. Suddenly, the town became more animated as those who had been there from the start, updated the others, who were apparently engrossed in a television show, dinner, or putting their young children back to bed after the explosion. Like their fellow humans, these conversations were followed by their own opinions on the matter even though they were not present to witness most of what occurred.
I cannot believe none of them saw where He went. If I was there, I would have seen where He disappeared to.
I didn't hear an explosion.
The Potters can't be dead- they just can't be.
The kid could not have survived; they're in denial, the whole lot of them.
Ah yes, Mrs Delly. Of course she would have spun some tale about seeing Albus; she has always been so infatuated by him, one woman thought bitterly, green with jealousy. I suppressed a smirk when I saw images in her mind that indicated she herself was somewhat engrossed in Albus Dumbledore's talents. Concluding that there was little information to gain from continuing to eavesdrop on these renewed conversations regarding the night's events, I inconspicuously asked my family if they were interested in heading north, the same direction Bathilda indicated during her announcement to the town. All of them nodded silently in agreement.
As I begun to cross the square, I heard a different set of thoughts join the array of minds interspersed in my head. Without being conscious of my actions, I found myself slowing my walk, eventually standing stationary in the middle of the square. Unlike the rest of the town, who were excited, curious, and ecstatic with joy, these thoughts, a man's given their tone, were filled with fear and trepidation. I took a brief look around the square to see if I could locate the owner of this highly anxious mind, but I could not find him. In some mysterious way, the thoughts continued to move across the square, and I found myself following them with my gaze even though I could see no one. With each step he made, the man became more determined to find where the confrontation between the 'Dark Lord' and the Potters took place, but he was equally focused on ensuring his presence remained undetected.
Again, I scanned the numerous people around me, trying to spot this allusive person. Where was he? I could sense he was moving towards the north, but his progress was very slow. Was he injured? He did not appear to be in pain. What did he fear happening if this town found out he was here? Was he a Death Eater, as his reference to the 'Dark Lord' suggested? If so, did this mean the Death Eaters now know the fate of their master? Or was he a spy sent here to find out what happened? My search for the owner of the thoughts continued to be fruitless. In order to dodge detection, the man was slowly making his way around the crowd which forced him in my direction. I tried to maintain a relaxed expression as I sensed the person cross the path in front of me. I stared at the empty space, my body tense with fear.
He was invisible- that was my only explanation. But it was impossible for me to prove- I could not ask anyone except perhaps Jasper to confirm my suspicions as trying to detect their heartbeat would be pointless when we were surrounded by hundreds of humans. A bodiless voice was not something I was used to, and it scared me to witness something I believed was impossible. Jasper was immediately by my side, whispering quickly in my ear in the hope of understanding why I was feeling uneasy. Amongst the heightened emotions of the majority, I realized that Jasper was unable to detect the far milder level of emotional intensity the invisible man felt. Nevertheless, I did not answer him, so Jasper watched my gaze as I 'followed' the thoughts 'walk' across the square. Although I could not see him, I was transfixed by this person. I discovered he was different from the rest; when he overheard people still discussing the possibility that Albus Dumbledore was spotted by the elderly lady, he concluded it would have been impossible because Dumbledore would not have allowed himself to be seen. This invisible man also respected Albus Dumbledore immensely, as he silently admonished the elderly lady for forgetting how brilliant and secretive Dumbledore could be. This merely added to my confusion regarding whose side this man was on. Having noticed my concern and discomfort, Carlisle, Esme and Alice stood around me, glancing in the same direction I was even though they did not know what I was trying to see. Emmett and Rosalie continued to walk north, stopping in their tracks when they realized we were not following them.
Then we all heard it. The mysterious person I was trying to find, finally spoke- swore in reaction to almost walking into Emmett. Knowing the man was about to turn around to see if he had been heard, I quickly whispered to my family to turn away from that direction so it would not look suspicious. I remained focused on the man's thoughts as he assessed Emmett who was naturally looking right at him. This unnerved the man, but he remained convinced that his identity was safe due to being invisible. But of course, with our heightened hearing, Emmett and our family had heard him loud and clear over the almost deafening chatter of the inhabitants of Godric's Hollow. The man eventually decided that Emmett was not a threat and continued to walk, but looked back a moment later to make sure he was not being followed. His anxiety increased when he saw Rosalie was also looking in his direction. Like many others, he had assumed Rose was a Veela, and concluded that even if he was heard, no one would suspect it was him. After this, the man continued on his mission, his focus back on Lily Potter and anyone who could inadvertently indicate her potential whereabouts.
I wanted to follow in the invisible man's footsteps for I too wanted a closer look at the Potter's house which everyone was still discussing. But then I decided it would not be advisable, as the man may suspect he was being followed, and I did not want a confrontation with an invisible human- not when we were in this strange territory. Instead, I stayed still and waited for Rose and Emmett to return to my side.
"Did you hear that?" Emmett asked me quietly, his eyes wide with intensity, for he had also realized that the person who almost ran into him was invisible.
I nodded my head in response. "He was invisible," I confirmed his suspicions, which explained to my family why I had stopped walking in the square. But of course, added another realm of uncertainty to our understanding of this population.
"What is he doing here?" Rosalie asked as we all looked north as if trying to see him.
"He is looking for Lily Potter. He hopes she is still alive," I explained to my sister.
"Why is he invisible then? I'm sure someone here would have told him that she is no longer living," Jasper commented delicately.
I shook my head. "From what I understand, he does not want to be detected; I do not think this town would approve of his presence."
"Do you think he is one of those Death Eaters?" Alice asked.
I nodded, my eyes narrowed in contemplation. "It is possible, but he has respect for Albus Dumbledore, who I believe is the leader of the opposing side, so I am not quite sure which side he allies himself with," I whisper quickly to my family so any eavesdroppers would be unable to hear the topic of our discussion.
However, our conversation was interrupted when the fireworks Alice saw hours ago via her gift, began in the west. As I had expected, these fireworks did not explode to create the colourful lights humans seem so enthralled with. Instead, these 'fireworks' appeared to be, for lack of a better word, 'streamers' that silently exploded out of four sticks held by two men and two women. No, not sticks: wands. My family and I quickly reminded one another to appear excited and happy rather than irrefutably interested and suspicious of the wands they were holding. Colours of pink, red, green, blue, purple and yellow flew up into the sky, arranged by the caster in simple designs. The wizards and witches that I now knew them to be were creative, writing various words in the air with their particular colour. Their creations would remain bright against the dark sky for at least thirty seconds so their audience could admire them, and then disappear. Then others began to join in, holding up their wands and shooting various colours in the sky, screaming and shouting in excitement. Cries of: "To Harry Potter the boy who lived!" became stuck in my head, and soon the sky was lit up with an array of streamers originating from at least two hundred wands.
It is difficult to render vampires speechless, but that is what we were. It had been almost an hour since we knew those around us could perform a 'killing curse'. We had our suspicions that they were magical beings- human, but capable of performing magic. However, such speculations are different from witnessing magic- not merely the capacity of one witch or wizard, but an entire town. Every adult- at least two hundred people had their wands pointed to the sky, casting spells that either added to the noise or the beauty of this amazing night for them. My family had mastered the happy, excited look on our faces, but beneath that façade were seven vampires, trying not to appear too tense as we realized we were surrounded by hundreds of adults who could perform magic- magic we were uncertain of because we did not know their limits. For the first time that night, we all felt vulnerable. Although we could easily kill at least one hundred of them in a matter of seconds between us, we were significantly outnumbered and could certainly be destroyed somehow by these powerful humans. None of us spoke to one another for fear that our hyperarousal would initiate a foolish attack that we perceived to be our only defense. But for the moment we were safe, both according to my instincts and Alice's visions, and these were the facts I kept reminding myself. Jasper was struggling with it however, due to needing to withstand his own fears in addition to all of ours. Knowing that we needed to get away from the evident threat placed before us, I gently placed my hand on Jasper's shoulder and begun to lead him away from the square towards the north. My family naturally followed us. Jaz turned around to look at me, wondering if I had decided to move because someone had suspected us. I merely shook my head at my brother, and squeezed his shoulder to reassure him we were safe.
As we followed the road up a slight hill, my family had begun to relax; it helped to not see hundreds of wands that could have easily been turned towards us.
Emmett was the first to recover.
I can't believe on our last day here we discover that witches and wizards exist! Hopefully we will have the chance to return some day, Emmett thought to himself. Despite the fear and threat I felt being around so many of them, I too wanted to learn more about this species of human-beings.
A majority of the town were enjoying the celebrations in the square that few people were looking at the Potter's house, which was my intended destination. I was certain the mysterious invisible man would have found out the truth by now and probably gone home. I hadn't detected his thoughts again, so he must not have re-entered the town square; he probably judged it as too risky. We walked slowly, for us, as I wanted to make sure we did not accidently walk past the dwelling everyone was talking about. As it turned out, it would have been difficult to miss; there was a large gate that appeared to surround the property, and as many had reported, half of the roof was missing from the dwelling.
Esme gasped upon seeing the destruction, our first real evidence that what people were gossiping about was at least partially true. The rubble surrounding the house was filled with dust, shattered tiles and broken bricks. It was difficult to imagine that this was the result of one person trying to kill a baby. Carlisle was sickened by the sight, primarily because we knew, as everyone did, that this was the result of murder. Carlisle found it difficult to grasp that someone would intentionally try to kill a baby even if they are, as Emmett joked, dangerous. Jasper was eying the dwelling, wary of the possibility that the bodies were still in there… bleeding. But I could not smell even a hint of blood, and had the feeling, given what I had heard and seen around me, that death in this world somehow did not involve blood. I reassured Jasper of this, but he did not seem convinced. We stood, silently looking at the dwelling, knowing it would be unwise to say our observations out loud considering there were still a few people walking past and looking at the destruction themselves.
After ten minutes, I decided to walk back the way we came, hoping to get a glimpse of the side of the house. When I had gained a decent view of the back right corner of the dwelling, I tried to see if there was anything unusual that I could sense that would have been missed by human observers. I detected nothing of importance.
Suddenly I could hear someone's thoughts that were almost incomprehensible due to being entrenched in unspeakable sorrow. I felt deeply saddened as the thoughts reached me, and was horrified to realize that they belonged to someone in the house. Did they survive the attack? Could one of the Potters have survived? Or was it a member of the public who was foolish enough to enter and saw the Potters' corpses? I begun to walk towards the house feeling compelled to find out more- assist the survivor, or otherwise learn more of what was inside. My family was distressed by my sudden action, though I saw in Alice's mind that she did not foresee anything bad happening to me. My desire for more information overcame any restraint I had to stay away. Carlisle was petrified that I would be seen or my behaviour would be viewed as abnormal by onlookers, but those watching me knew I was as curious as they were about the scene. Suddenly, the back door to the house opened. The angle I was standing at meant I could not see the door open, but I heard it crash as it swung on its hinges and hit the side of the house. A moment later, I saw a dark figure, a man collapse out of the house, landing stomach first onto the dusty ground. Had someone kicked him out? No, I could only hear one set of thoughts from that direction. Had he fallen? Was he injured? Bleeding? I barely had time to register that my family were ignorant of what occurred before I saw the dark figure struggle to stand, which seemed extremely difficult for him to do. His thoughts were still dulled by his grief; he desperately wanted to leave the house. Before I could find out any more about this man or what he saw, he disappeared into thin air.
Disappointment went through me- I had hoped to identify him. What had he seen? Why did he stumble from the building? He seemed so grief stricken, and yet I saw nothing in his mind that indicated what he saw in the house that horrified him so completely. Perhaps he was trying to block it out? Or was his mind so numb, so incomprehensible that he literally could not think? This man's mind and situation confused me even more so than the invisible man who walked through the square earlier.
"Edward!" Alice called out to me from across the street. I saw in her mind an image of her watch. Immediately I turned around and made an effort to walk at human speed back to my family. So much time had passed; we needed to leave now if we were to arrive at the airport with enough time to spare. Due to our urgency to get back to our cars, undisturbed, I decided not to tell my family what I saw until we were safely in our cars.
Thankfully our walk through the square went unnoticed; the 'fireworks' were still going and the celebration did not appear to be close to finishing. A few people waved at us as if knowing we were leaving, but mostly they moved out of our way, too engrossed in gossip or caught up in their own happiness to care where we were going. Finally, we arrived safely to our cars and piled in without a word. I heard Carlisle tell me through his thoughts that I could lead the way to the airport. He also requested I ask Alice or Jasper to call Esme so we could discuss what we saw and heard in Godric's Hollow.
So once my family piled into our cars, and I led our small convoy out of the side street and back onto the main road, my family and I began to converse from within our corresponding cars. It was times such as these that I was grateful for our heightened hearing ability. We adamantly discussed what we had witnessed and heard. Naturally, Emmett was over the moon that his suggestion had led to an interesting experience for us and the discovery of a whole new species of human-beings. It took a good part of fifteen minutes before he was satisfied we had properly praised him for the amazing suggestion of going to Godric's Hollow. This required multiple assertions from me and even Jasper that we were wrong to consider it a fruitless, pointless trip and for ever doubting his brilliance. Of course, we all knew, even Emmett that it was by coincidence that his idea was such a success, as without the death of the Potters and the disappearance of He who must apparently not be named, the trip would have been as exciting as watching a group of strange adults wear ridiculously coloured robes.
Eventually, we were permitted to discuss other implications of finding this wizarding population. Did they know about our species of vampire? Did they know how to destroy us? Did other members of our kind know about thesemagical humans? Were the Volturi aware of their existence? Was it even possible that they were ignorant when there were sure to be many witches and wizards around the world, not just in England? If they knew about them, why hadn't they tried to kill them? Because they are dangerous? Because they could be useful? What sort of gifts would these magical humans have if they were transitioned? And if the Volturi did not know about them, which seemed unlikely, was it our responsibility to inform them of these potentially dangerous humans? Or any consequences if we kept it a secret? After speculating about these greater issues, we begun to talk of the Potters, their son, the man no one is willing to speak the name of, and we even speculated what his name could be. Emmett joked that perhaps it was something common like 'Tom' which would be unfortunate for anyone actually named Tom. Of course, Emmett was trying to be funny, and it did amuse us slightly, but ultimately we concluded this murderous wizard must have had an unusual name even though it seemed rather pointless since no one was willing to use it. We also talked about Albus Dumbledore and felt, given the wealth of information we had collected from at least one hundred different conversations that he was a powerful wizard and the one to oppose the murderous man as the leader of the 'good' side. And finally, we talked about the invisible man who seemed determine to remain hidden from his fellows. I felt he was either a spy or someone from the murderous wizard's side; the level of anxiety he felt indicated he feared death or severe injury if he was caught in Godric's Hollow. I wondered where he was now, and relayed to my family my suspicion that may be he was the man I saw stumble out of the house in some sort of numbed existence, his mind barely functioning. Although they asked, I found it difficult to determine whether these two minds belonged to the same individual; they were so different from one another.
When we had finished discussing the above, Alice and Jaz talked quietly amongst themselves, but I could not escape the invisible man. As I was the only one to sense his thoughts and possibly watched him stumble from the Potters' house, I knew him better than my family who merely heard him swore. I was thinking of him when my mind was suddenly confronted by a vision Alice was having.
For a reason not evident in her mind, Alice saw me pulling up our car on the side of a narrow road. But none of us exited the vehicle. Instead I turned around from the front seat to look at my siblings. They both looked strained, but no matter how I tried, I could not explain their tensed expressions. This- whatever this was, would make us late to the airport with a mere half hour to get through customs.
"Why?" I demanded of my sister in response to her vision and the consequences I knew would arise if it came true. Why would we need to pull over? Her vision was not clear once the tyres came to a stop. Did we have a flat tyre? Did we hit someone? Nothing was certain. Jasper, who noticed his wife was caught up in our future, felt confused and frustrated not knowing what she had seen.
"What's happening?" Jasper asked, trying to maintain control over his frustration that he is often left out of these conversations.
"We are going to be late," Alice said in a neutral tone as she tried to search the future for the cause of our delay.
"Why?" Jasper asked quietly, knowing I had just asked the same question and that Alice, by the look in her eyes was searching for the answer.
Eventually she shook her head, and I knew what she was about to report.
"I cannot see the cause. It is too blurry at the moment- it's not clear," she told us with a sigh, and I knew she was frustrated when her gift did not provide her with he answers she wanted. "I can see us pulling over, but I don't know why or what happens after that point in time, except that we will be late," Alice sighed, resigned to the strange limitation of her gift in that moment.
"Carlisle," Jasper said authoritatively and loud enough for the occupants of the other car to hear. "Alice has had a vision that we will be late to the airport-"
"What is going to hold us up?" Rosalie sighed.
"Alice sees us pulling over," Jasper continued, ignoring Rosalie's question, "but the cause is unclear. We must remain vigilant for what may cause the delay. With some luck, we can avoid the interruption before it arises- swerve to avoid a pothole or a person for that matter…"
"No, I think it is more complicated than that, Jaz. I would have seen a person on the road or a flat tyre, but the car looked normal," Alice explained patiently.
"How did we look?" Jasper asked, concerned that for the first time, Alice's vision was not much help to us.
"Distressed," I answered him, remembering the stricken look on my face and Jasper's in Alice's vision. I wished I could hear our thoughts in Alice's vision, but of course, that would be impossible.
This knowledge agitated Jasper. Alice noticed and placed her hand in his.
"It will be okay," she insists gently to him. "I see us still boarding the plane and leaving tonight, we'll just arrive there with only half an hour at our disposal, that's all. We all make it, Jaz. No one gets hurt," she promised him.
"Regardless, we should speed to make up for future lost time. Remain alert for any indication of what may slow us down," Jasper ordered, even though Alice was shaking her head.
"It's more complicated than that," Alice reinforced again. "If we could see it coming, we simply wouldn't be delayed," she said slightly exasperated in frustration. "I would see it if it was seeable!"
"We will let you know if Alice's vision changes, but all that matters is we still board the plane tonight," Jasper said, ignoring Alice's protests in the hope that she was wrong about the restrictions of her own gift. After everything that had happened in the past couple of hours, Jasper seemed unable to accept yet another unexpected event could occur without his wife's prior knowledge.
"Yes, that is the most important thing," Carlisle said rather loudly to drown out Rosalie's protests, who was clearly bent on making a fuss about things mysteriously not being on schedule tonight. "Thank you for updating us, Jasper. We will keep an eye out for any potential trouble. However, given you three are at front, you will likely discover what the cause is before we do."
I press my foot down on the accelerator eager to get a head start before the delay arises and we are forced to stop. Speeding twice the legal limit, Carlisle close behind me, we drive towards the airport. Recalling the map I studied a couple of hours before leaving home earlier that evening, I remind myself where I must turn to take the quickest route back to the airport. Although the route we chose was longer than the others, it had few traffic lights that could hold us up, especially when travelling at these speeds. I took a left hand turn onto a small back street, and I knew we were going the correct way. From memory this street went through a town known as 'Spinners End'. No one was in sight, so I drove far faster than would be permitted myself in such a narrow lane. But we were running out of time, and I could not sense the thoughts of anyone nearby.
However, this assessment of my surroundings changed within seconds. Without warning I heard someone's thoughts impede into my mind: desperate, traumatized, upset and verging on being dangerously intoxicated.
It was my fault. I cannot live like this.
Suddenly, I am braking heavily, the tires of the car screeching to a stop. I heard Rosalie and Esme's screams from the car behind me, and Emmett's curses as Carlisle slammed on the Mercedes brakes, but I barely paid attention to it. I sat rigid in the front seat of the car, my hands gripping the steering wheel. I looked out the windshield and saw a pub almost directly in front of me at the end of the street. The owner of these thoughts was in there, preparing to kill himself. And I could see why; vivid image after vivid image entered his mind, though he quickly tried to push them out by drowning his sorrow in alcohol. This must have been the distraction Alice saw- the cause of our delay. But I was determined that this man would not be the cause of our family running late. It was sad and unfortunate that we happened across someone who was in the process of taking their life, but it was not up to us to stop them despite how tragic it was. But the longer I listened to his thoughts, the more his mind resonated with my own. I had heard countless thoughts that night at Godric's Hollow, that it was difficult to place his- he could have been anyone… until I realized that most of them lived in Godric's Hollow not all the way in this dingy suburb. And that was when I knew it was the invisible man- I recognized the tone of his mind. But every so often, the numbness I recalled noticing when he stumbled out of the house forced its way in to protect the man's conscience from consuming him with guilt. Yes, this was him, and it was clear that he knew Lily Potter's fate and wanted to join her. His pain was too great to continue living in agony.
Through all this, I had not paid attention to my companions. Alice had been quietly shrieking, wondering what was happening, almost distraught at being ignored by both me and her husband. I wondered why Jasper hadn't relieved Alice of her distress, when I saw his face in the review mirror: Pained beyond expression. I tried to examine Jasper's face in the mirror but this was insufficient. So I turned around in my seat to look at my brother, Alice's eyes wide with worry and concern. This moment was what Alice had foreseen. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the rest of our family approach the car, and I could hear their thoughts were also demanding to know what the hell happened. Rosalie's was the loudest, insisting that I almost caused a car accident, which I probably nearly did. I automatically reached down near the handbrake to press the button which locked all the doors. When Carlisle reached out to open the front passenger door, he frowned when he realized I had locked him out.
"Edward," he spoke quietly, knowing that we were surrounding by houses on either side; he didn't want to speak too loudly. I heard him, but ignored him; his thoughts were not as urgent as Jasper's.
"Jaz," I said rather loudly, knowing I would need to provide a significant distraction to gain his attention. His eyes snapped towards mine.
"What are we doing here?" he demanded of me in a distressed hiss, loud enough for all of our family to hear in and outside of the car.
"I'm sorry," I begin, knowing that if I hadn't chosen to stop, we would still be driving and Jasper's experience of this man's pain would have been fleeting or non-existent.
"Tell the others to get back in their car and drive off," he insisted heatedly, closing his eyes tightly in an effort to block out this man's pain who was at that moment briefly reliving his discovery of Lily Potter's body in her house. I cringed away from the man's memory, and Jasper's fists clenched tightly on his lap.
"What's happening?" Alice demanded for the sake of her and everyone else staring at us, her eyes flitting between my face and Jasper's tensed body.
"Let's go, Edward- now!" Jasper insisted dangerously, choking his words out. I looked sympathetically at Alice who felt so useless as she hugged her husband to her in an effort to comfort him. I then glanced at the others and gave them a nod of my head suggesting that we will leave as Jasper requested. I will explain everything to them later once we are out of the man's vicinity- it wouldn't do to talk about it now when Jasper was in so much pain, and my mind was occasionally invaded with far too graphic memories. Nevertheless, I felt disappointed that I couldn't stay longer- the man had me curious about his situation, especially his love for this woman who was married to another with a baby boy. What did he blame himself for that made him feel suicide was his only option? How much did he love her? But I needed to be content living in ignorance because I could not force Jasper to stay for a moment longer, even though I was unlikely to be the only curious one. We had a plane to catch. Perhaps one day I would find out the man's history, as he would be dead before I returned, but without knowing his name I found it unlikely. I had to accept that I would never know- he would die as he wanted to, and his history, his feelings and thoughts would die with him.
I started the ignition, at which point, the atmosphere inside the car changed.
Alice gasped as she, and consequently I, saw the future change- not our future, but that of those around us. In an attempt to find out what was happening to her partner and me, Alice had tried to find someone nearby whose future was bleak or potentially at risk, thus providing a reason for my sudden braking and Jasper's distress. She did not start at the pub, but the block of run down flats to our left. The inhabitants futures were non-eventful as were all those living along the left hand side of the back street. But just prior to my starting the ignition, these family's futures changed drastically. Alice saw a future where the adults and even the children were slaves, chained to one another as they left their homes underfed, pale and terrified. Next moment, we saw a group of six people pointing their wands in warning at the fifty person line of slaves. At random, a slave would drop to the ground writhing and screaming in unbearable agony.
"Oh God, Edward!" Alice exclaimed, knowing that I would have seen what she saw. "What changed? Their futures were fine before!" she cried out, clearly distressed by the graphic future she saw for these humans.
"What is it? Why aren't we leaving?" Jasper whispered through his teeth; he was at the end of his tether, unable to comprehend yet another unforeseen event, when he was already struggling under the immense grief from the man in the pub.
I looked at my brother sympathetically knowing, perhaps selfishly, that I could not leave without taking a moment to at least consider intervening for the benefit of so many.
"If you help him Edward, I swear-" And I knew what he wanted to say to me, and it pained me that he already knew I was choosing to put him through more torture by not driving off. I turned off the ignition and exited the car, unable to bear my brother's feelings of betrayal and distress. I heard Carlisle and the rest of my family exit the Mercedes and approach me, leaving Alice and a tortured Jasper in the Volvo.
"Edward, what's the matter?" Carlisle asked urgently realizing that something serious must have changed given last he knew, I was willing to drive away to relieve my brother of his pain. Carlisle knew I would not force Jasper to stay here unless necessary.
But I couldn't speak to him yet. I held my hand up to indicate I needed to concentrate, and then walked slowly down the street.
"Edward!" Rosalie hissed, confused and frustrated by my lack of information to them. But I ignored her, searching for the vital information I needed.
Drink will only render me unconscious- the poison is my only option.
That was my answer. This was what changed; drinking himself to 'death' would not have worked- he would have been unconscious, he would have lived, and his neighbours would have had satisfying and fulfilling lives. But now, he had poison- this was a guaranteed method of death, and indeed it would be successful.
I turned around to look at the Volvo and indicated to Alice that I knew what had changed. I felt my family's eyes on me, all of them growing physically and emotionally strained that I still remained so cryptic and silent. Alice struggled between staying with her husband, who she was trying to calm down by explaining in a soothing manner why we were still in Spinner's End, and speaking with me to find more information about the mysterious change in so many futures. I saw her kiss Jasper gently on his lips through the dark tinted windows, and then she quickly exited the car, closed the door and was immediately by my side. Her gaze rested on me, her eyes narrowed in concern.
Please tell me we will not be here long, she almost begged of me for her husband's sake and thus, for her own.
"He is not coping is he?" I asked sympathetically, feeling the pressure of Jasper's thoughts on my own mind. His, in combination with the man's in the pub made it difficult to concentrate, but I needed to communicate to Alice what I knew.
"Someone intends to commit suicide, Alice. Their original plan would not have worked, but now… it will."
I was being intentionally cryptic, but Alice understood my meaning.
"The loss of one person's life could cause all that?" she asked in disbelief, referring back to the vision she saw.
If he dies, these people will suffer cruelly.
I nodded at her in agreement, my face solemn.
"Cause all of what?" Rosalie hissed, approaching us, her hands on her hips. But Alice and I ignored her; we did not have the time or patience to deal with her questions when we were running out of both.
"We must do something," Alice insisted, but she was torn between changing the future if we could, and leaving it all behind for Jasper's sake. "But it could be dangerous."
I stared at Alice wondering whether she knew exactly how dangerous it could be.
Jasper told me someone is grieving- in a lot of pain. Is this person mourning over the Potters? She asked me tentatively having foreseen my question to her.
I nodded my head.
Alice bit her lip. A witch or a wizard?
"The latter," I informed her.
"Seriously guys, what are you talking about? I want in!" Emmett insisted in a joking manner, but I knew he was becoming frustrated like his wife.
"Edward, you need to tell us what is happening. Perhaps we can assist you?" Esme suggested quietly, approaching me and placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
I turned to look at her, then at Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, and Alice, wondering whether it was fair to make a decision that could jeopardize my whole family. But none of them truly understood this man as I did- the extent of his grief, the remorse, and his solid desire to die because it was literally too difficult for him to breathe. I could relate to his desires; I remembered how I felt when I first became a vampire, my thirst of blood, my desire to kill innocent people. If death was as simple as drinking a poisonous concoction, I would have, without hesitation. But was it fair to intervene- to somehow convince him to continue living such a torturous life for the sake of the 'Muggles' who lived in his town? Who was I to determine how much of his sanity he should sacrifice for the well-being of others? And most importantly, was it wise for me, a vampire to speak with a wizard in a Muggle town? The decision I wanted to choose seemed to be riddled with problems, especially because I did not know how capable the wizard was. I should not play God, none of us should- it was not our right, especially in a world we were unfamiliar with. I could have sought my family's advice, but time was running out, and somehow I knew I needed to try. But what could anyone say or do to change his mind?
Nothing.
But then I realized what I could say- there was one thing that may alter his decision, but without knowing the man, I had no way of telling whether my plan would work or be worth the risk.
"Yes! It will work, Edward!" Alice exclaimed and as she did, I saw the result of my plan; the futures of the man's neighbours returned to exactly how they were before as if the man never died.
"What will work?" Esme enquired, her hand still resting on my shoulder, and I felt terrible for ignoring her question.
Finally, I had made my decision and when I did I saw Alice's vision clearly depicting the families around us have a satisfying future once again.
Finally, I nodded my head at Alice, and then turned to Carlisle and Esme.
"There is something I must do," I tell my parents simply.
"Oh give me a break," Rosalie sighed impatiently.
Carlisle looked around at our family, feeling uncomfortably ignorant of all that had happened since I pulled over the first time. Eventually he sighed and begun to speak: "Edward, I-" but I knew what he wanted to say, so I answered him before he could finish; we were running out of time.
"I promise to stay safe. If there is even the slightest indication that I may be identified as anything other than human, I promise to leave efficiently and safely. There will be no deaths tonight, Carlisle," I whispered quietly and quickly to him. "I will make sure our secret remains safe, and so will I," I promised him.
Although they did not know even half of the situation I was faced with, they believed I was entering the pub where they presumed a single human was drinking. Only Alice, myself and perhaps Jasper knew this person was a wizard. I did not want to alarm my family with this knowledge, so I tried to hide my own reservations; what I was walking into?
"Do not follow me in there, but stay hidden incase the neighbours look out of their windows," I advised him. "If Jasper wants to leave the vicinity for a few minutes, let him," I continue, "but as you know, he will be the most effective at keeping you updated with what is happening."
"His emotions are intense," Carlisle commented as he remembered the brief glimpse he had of Jasper in the back seat of the Volvo when we originally pulled over.
"Yes," I said gently, feeling tremendously guilty. This triggered my desire to enter the pub and be done with the conversation so Jasper's misery could also come to an end. "Alice will be helpful for you too. At the moment, she sees me exiting the pub safely; nothing bad will happen to me or the human with whom I am about to interact." Carlisle seemed satisfied with this, but was of course still reluctant to grant me permission. But I knew this was the best I would get from him in such an ambiguous situation.
"Very well, Edward. We will be close at hand should you need assistance," Carlisle sighed, resigned.
"Thank you, Carlisle."
"Be careful," Alice whispered to me.
"I will, keep an eye on my future for me," I smiled grimly at her.
"You know I will," she said seriously, giving me a hug. Then she ran back to Jasper in the hope she could provide some comfort to him.
Taking an unnecessary breath, I gave Carlisle a final look, and then glanced briefly at my other family members.
"Don't follow me," I ordered them gently, and then gave them each a small smile of reassurance.
You better not make us miss our plane, Rosalie threatened me. I gave a small chuckle; I was glad she did not know what else I was risking by entering the pub.
I walked quickly towards the dingy public building in front of me. I could feel my family's stares at the back of my head, their voices whispering quickly as they tried to work out what I was about to do which was near impossible for them to determine without Alice or Jasper present. But I imagined, if we spoke loud enough and the moved a few feet closer, they would be able to hear some of our conversation. As I walked, I only hoped Alice would be able to warn me in time if any of our futures significantly altered as a result of what I was about to do.
My life is not worth living after everything I have done.
This, as well as countless other thoughts assaulted my mind. I could barely walk into the pub, his thoughts and emotions were so powerful, and the images of what he found in that house were nothing less than horrific. But I knew I needed to enter; he did not know that his death would mean the death and torture of many others. And more importantly, he did not know what I had concluded in a matter of minutes: he was wrong; his life was worth saving.
Determined to convince him of this, knowing how many it would benefit countless others, I reached out, and turned the handle.
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Author's note: Sorry to leave it there, but as you can imagine, the next chapter will contain the full conversation that takes place between Severus and Edward. And obviously, this chapter would be ridiculously long (as if it isn't already, right?) if I went any further! If you are interested for more detail as to what Severus saw when he entered the Potter's house, feel free to read chapter 2 of 'Leave me'. I warn you that it is somewhat graphic. Chapter 3 for both stories will consist of two different perspectives of the same conversation. I will probably write Severus' POV first, but we'll see :) I hope to finish both POVs before I return to uni, but we'll see how I go- I have a feeling this conversation will be a whopper to write!
Also just a quick note (which I mentioned in chapter 2 of 'Leave me' so apologies to those who have already read it) that I do not endorse the action of suicide and take it very seriously (given my chosen career of Psychology). Having said this though, I do empathise with those who feel suicide is their only option (as Severus does at this point in time), and like Edward, I would want to talk to them about it.
Thank you once again for reading, and for getting through such a long chapter. Please take a minute to let me know what you thought of it! Thanks for all your support! Hopefully the next update will be ready in a week :)