Raspberries Challenge #6: Alice in Wonderland
Judy in Wonderland
Judy Hopps walked down one of the many clumsily drawn pathways, stopping right at the intersection where they divided. "Great," huffed the nineteen year old rabbit as she looked down at the zig-zagged and crazy pathways branching out in multiple directions. The arrow signs around her didn't help much either as they pointed everywhere, even in the absolute most ludicrous places - one of them even pointed to the ground and read "grass" - obviously.
Judy raised a brow and shook off the insanity of this strange place - this...wonderland. "Okay, okay focus Judy. Now which way could he have gone?" the rabbit asked herself, as she searched for the mysterious old white rabbit that had run through there prior to her.
She had never met the rabbit, nor had she ever seen him before. He just suddenly popped up early this afternoon at her family's garden during one of her and her older sister's immensely boring study sessions - it wasn't necessarily boring because she hated history, it was more so because of her sister's slow speaking and unenthusiastic manner of teaching. She might as well been receiving a history lesson from a sloth at the rate her slow talking sister was going.
Judy remembered nearly falling asleep before spotting a sharply dressed white rabbit running across the yard in the distance. She immediately told her sister about it, though her sister didn't see him. Afterwards, all she did was dismiss Judy's curious nature, stating that perhaps it was one of their father's business associates. A fact which Judy found impossible to believe as she was very familiar with all of her family's close friends and business acquaintances - and she had never once seen that rabbit before. Curious, the bunny found her chance to sneak away from her sister's lesson and headed off to investigate. In her chase for the white rabbit, she found it odd that he kept blabbering about being late to somewhere. But where? If he wasn't conducting business with her father or any of her relatives, then what was he doing in their estate in the first place? And just what exactly was he late to?
Allowing her curiosity to get the best of her, Judy followed him all the way to a mysterious rabbit hole that she had never seen before and fell in - landing in the very bizarre world she now finds herself trekking in. Though at this point the young rabbit was condemning herself internally for following that old rabbit. She had originally hoped for some excitement in solving the mystery of the strange white rabbit, but the sheer insanity of this place was really starting to annoy her.
"Now let's see, I came from that way so maybe-hmm? I wonder which way I ought to go…?" Thought the bunny out loud as a very cheery combination of laughter and singing echoed all around her. The bunny looked around curiously in an attempt to spot the source of the eerie singing. "What is that? And where's it-" asked the bunny as she tried to look behind a tree.
"Lose something?" asked a curious and unknown voice.
Judy gasped, turning around to spot a wide floating grin over a tree branch. "Wh-Who? What are you?" she asked in shock.
"Oh, silly me," chuckled the mysterious grin, "Just give me a moment to collect myself." Two eyeballs fell into place as a chubby spotted cheetah, clad in a striped purple suit, suddenly warped above the branch. "Is that better?"
"Clawhauser?" Judy asked with wide surprised eyes, swearing that the mystery cheetah looked just like her friend, Benjamin Clawhauser, who worked as a stable boy back home at her family's estate.
"Actually, my name's the Cheshire Cheetah," answered the mysterious and smiley round cheetah. "I'm afraid you have me confused with someone else, you cute little bunny rabbit you."
"Oh, umm" Judy spoke, sounding a bit taken aback. "If you're not Clawhauser, then you probably don't know this, but a bunny can call another bunny cute. But when other animals do it. It's a little…"
"Really? You find that offensive?" questioned the cheetah. "I always thought calling a bunny cute was the biggest compliment you can give a bunny. At least that's what the March Hare told me."
"The March Hare?" asked the bunny.
"Yes, even the White Rabbit never seems to mind whenever I call him that," the cheetah added.
"The White Rabbit?!" Judy squeaked in excitement.
"Who?" questioned the chubby cheetah.
"The White Rabbit!" Judy repeated happily.
"What rabbit? You?" responded the cheetah, as if completely unaware of the white rabbit's existence.
Judy groaned in annoyance with a paw to her face, "The White Rabbit I've been talking to you about!"
"Oh! Well I'm afraid I don't know any white rabbits," answered the cheetah so matter of factly.
Judy's jaw gaped exasperatedly, "But didn't you just say-"
"However," interrupted the cheetah, "You could ask the Mad Hatter. He knows everyone!"
Judy blinked in surprise at the name. "The Mad Hatter?"
"Oh yes. He's really fond of cute bunnies like you," purred the cheetah, resting his chubby cheeks on his knuckles.
"I don't know," Judy hesitated, "I really don't want to speak with mad mammals."
"Well, you could try asking the March Hare…"
"Okay good," Judy replied in relief, "I think I'll ask him instead."
"Of course…" continued the cheetah, "He's mad too. And he's not very fond of cute bunnies like you."
"But I told you, I don't want to speak with mad mammals."
"Well my dear, I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice. Practically every one is mad around here," chuckled the cheetah. "You may have noticed...I'm not all there myself." The cheetah spun his eyes around his sockets and slowly began to vanish, leaving behind only his spots and his striped purple suit. Though they soon followed suit in vanishing as the Cheshire Cheetah laughed hauntingly and disappeared entirely.
Judy shivered, "When he puts it like that, I guess I should avoid getting on anyone's bad side around here." Judy turned to leave, following the sign leading to the Mad Hatter.
.
Judy reached a white cottage with a hay covered roof. From the chimney hung two metal bars, reminiscent in appearance to rabbit ears. Judy's ears perked as she could hear chipper whistling emanating from the hedge enclosed backyard. "I wonder what all that whistling is about?"
The gray bunny headed to the backyard. There, she spotted the source of the whistling - several dozen animated tea kettles - all of them piping hot and steaming, producing a cloud of evaporated water over a long tea table.
Gathered at a corner of the table, were a red fox with emerald green eyes, clad in a green suit, bowtie, and top hat with a white card on the band of the hat labeled '10/6' and beside him sat a striped gray hare with pale blue eyes, clad in a red suit and orange bowtie. The two mammals danced in their seats with raised tea cups.
Judy watched them curiously as they sang a very cheerful little tune…
A very merry unbirthday
A very merry unbirthday
A very merry unbirthday to us!
Judy quietly approached a large pink chair at one end of the table. She took a seat, trying to get a better view of the mammals from below the smoke line. It was strange, much like before with the cheetah, she was almost certain she recognized the mammals.
She squinted her eyes as they continued to dance in place. "Nick? Jack?" she whispered under her breath.
The hare held on to a note, continuing the song as both he and the fox took turns singing.
A….
Very merry unbirthday!
To me!
The fox jumped in:
To who?
The hare replied:
To me!
The fox:
Oh, you!
The hare:
A very merry unbirthday to you!
Sang the hare, turning the lyrics around. The fox responded with a paw to his chest, acknowledging himself.
Who me?
The hare replied:
Yes you!
The fox responded with a playful and modest wave of his paw
Oh, me!
The two exchanged tea cups as the hare finished the song.
Let's all congratulate us
With another cup of tea!
A very merry unbirthday…
The hare lifted the lid off of one of the tea pots and pulled out a shrew that wore a black suit and was seated in a brown swivel chair that almost seemed stuck to him.
Tooooo….
The fox lifted his large green top hat, displaying a shorter top hat underneath it. The striped hare lifted the smaller hat off the fox's head as he sang the high note. Beneath that hat, was an even smaller hat, that the shrew in the hare's paw lifted with little enthusiasm.
Yoooooouuuuuuuu…!
Judy clapped, having enjoyed the song. The two somewhat familiar mammals immediately turned their attention to her. The hare released the shrew as both he and the fox ran toward her. "No, no! No room! No room!" They shouted to her, waving their paws dismissively.
The bunny watched them wide eyed and confused. She looked around at the empty chairs, "But I thought there was plenty of room?"
The fox had his back turned to Judy, while the hare spoke directly to her, "Ah, yes. But it is very rude to sit down uninvited."
"I'll say it's rude," replied the fox. "It's very, very ru-" the fox halted his tongue as he finally took a good look at the bunny in question. His jaw dropped, mesmerized by her beauty. "Although, seeing how we are in the presence of a lady, I suppose we can make an exception."
"What? Are you mad?" asked the hare, outraged.
"Why yes. I am the Mad Hatter after all," the fox replied with a casual smirk. "Please forgive my friend, my dear Carrots. The March Hare can be a real dumb bunny sometimes."
"The Mar-? So you two are the March Hare and Mad Hatter?!" Judy asked in surprise.
"Indeed we are," replied the fox with the same confident half lidded smirk. "And does the pretty bunny have a name? Or should we just call you Carrots?"
"Oh! Sorry about that," Judy chuckled a bit embarrassed at her lack of manners. "For a second I thought you would both already know who I was."
"Now why would we both know who you are?" asked the hare.
"Well," answered the bunny, "You two look exactly like some mammals I know back home. You look like my neighbor named Jack Savage," she told the hare, "And you look like one of my family's stable boys named Nick Wilde," she told the fox, "Come to think of it, he also has a tendency to call me Carrots...or Fluff."
"Well, I can't blame him for calling you that. You really do look like a Carrots or a Fluff," the fox replied casually just as Judy frowned in annoyance. The Mad Hatter chuckled, "Did he or anyone else ever tell you how cute you look with that huffy face?" The fox grinned playfully at her as she scoffed with her paws balled up into fists.
"You know you should never call a bunny cute, right?" the bunny retorted, offended.
"Au contraire my cute little bunny. I know full well that calling a bunny cute is the greatest compliment you can give a bunny. Isn't that right March Hare?"
"Oh, absolutely. I've known no greater honor than when another mammal calls me cute," replied the hare without a shroud of doubt in his words. "Especially my lovely Eyks," The March Hare pulled out a wallet from his back pocket and stared longingly at a black and white photograph of a vixen. "Whenever she calls me cute, it feels like my heart leaps and I get so, so…" the March Hare began to lightly pant and drool, lusting after the photograph when he noticed the strange looks Judy and the Mad Hatter were giving him. "Ahem…" he cleared his throat awkwardly and reclaimed his posh stance and mannerisms. "But yes, to answer your question we hares and rabbits do consider the term cute a high honor. Most especially when referred to that way by another species." He gave Judy a glance of his wife's picture, letting her see that his wife was not a hare like himself, but a vixen.
"And if there is one bunny truly deserving of that compliment, it's one as beautiful as you my Carrots," the fox bowed politely to her and gently took her paw in his own and placed a soft kiss on it. Judy couldn't help but blush at his 'compliment', for as much as the real Nick Wilde from back home would annoy her to no end, she still couldn't resist his charm. And it seemed this Mad Hatter was no exception.
"O-oh," stammered the bunny, still trying to wrap her mind around what they just said, "Well, in that case...thank you?"
"Although," the hare continued, "Since you don't appear to be from around here, I should warn you that you should never call another bunny - be they hare or rabbit - cute. Among our own kind, it is a terrible insult."
"It is?" Judy asked with a lifted brow, "Why?"
"Please, surely you don't find your own kind attractive or appealing. It's very rare around here to become involved with one's own species. Disgusting!" the hare scoffed as he took another cup of tea to clean the foul taste from his mouth.
"Such a strange place," Judy uttered in awe.
"Don't you marry outside of your species where you come from Carrots?" The Mad Hatter asked curiously yet flirtingly.
"Not usually, no," she replied, "Most mammals look down on interspecies marriage where I come from."
"What kind of a topsy turvy place do you come from, Carrots?" scoffed the hat wearing fox as he dipped a tea saucer in his tea as one would a donut. He took a bite out of it like it was nothing.
"Uh…" the bunny uttered, completely baffled by the act.
"Agreed," said the hare before Judy could say any more, "I wouldn't wish to live in such a backwards world. Honestly, rabbits and hares calling each other 'cute'. What kind of a mad world do you come from?" asked the hare to Judy as he literally sliced a tea cup in half, "I'll take half a cup, if you don't mind." He directed his cup toward the Mad Hatter and the fox poured tea in his half cup.
Judy's eyes widened, unable to believe that the tea was able to remain in the cup without spilling. "Care for a cup of tea my Carrots?" asked the hat wearing fox as he offered Judy a cup of tea.
"Thank you," she took the cup.
"So what brings you to our neck of the woods, my lovely bunny?" asked the fox curiously.
"Were you by chance trying to escape that mad world you come from?" asked the hare.
"No, actually I was following someone," she responded, "But then I heard your singing and I really enjoyed it, so I-"
"You enjoyed our singing?" the hare asked excitedly.
"Yes, of course!" she said with a friendly smile, "I've never heard such a unique birthday song before." Judy raised her tea cup to take a sip when the hare suddenly jerked her cup away from her.
"Birthday?!" spat the hare in outrage, "My dear rabbit, this is not a birthday party!"
"That's right! This is an unbirthday party," corrected the hat wearing fox.
"Unbirthday party?" asked the confused bunny. "What's that?"
"It's quite simple really," replied the hare, "See, thirty days have Sept-no! Um let's see," The hare scratched his head with a one of his tall ears, "An unbirthday if you will is...when you have abitrthda-um…haha," the hare laughed mockingly. "Do you hear that Mad Hatter? She doesn't know what an unbirthday is."
"How cute of you not to know my lovely Carrots. Let me explain…"
The March Hare began leading the various whistling teapots in a melody with a spoon serving as his composition stick.
"Now statistics prove that you have one birthday," said the fox.
"Imagine just one birthday every year!" added the hare.
"Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays!" declared the fox.
"Precisely why we've gathered here to cheer!" the hare said with a hop.
"If that's the case, then today is my unbirthday too!" added the bunny gleefully.
"It is?!" the hare asked happily.
"What a small world this is!" the fox cheered.
"In that case," the hare and fox gathered paws and circled around Judy in celebration. The hare led them in song:
A very merry unbirthday
"To me?" asked the bunny in song.
"To you!" replied the fox in song as he revealed a tall pink cake hidden beneath his hat. Judy's eyes shined in admiration of it. The hare sang again after:
A very merry unbirthday
"For me?" Judy sang, touched.
For you
Replied the hare in song.
The foxy Mad Hatter knelt on one knee and offered the cake to Judy, who took it graciously into her paws. The fox sang to her:
Now blow the candle out my dear Carrots
And make your wish come true!
Nick swiped a finger on the cake to have a taste as Judy happily obeyed blew out the candle. The cake trembled immediately right after and flew to the sky, blowing up like fireworks! The Da Hatter and March Hare culminated the song with one last:
A very merry unbirthday…
To you!
It was a lovely display of bright colors that had Judy opening up her mouth in awe. A few seconds later, the stern looking shrew from before hovered down from the sky with an umbrella over him and his swivel chair still somehow attached beneath him. He sang a soft yet somewhat bored sounding rendition of 'twinkle, twinkle little star' - though with the lyrics noticeably changed.
Twinkle, twinkle
Little bat
How I wonder what you're at
Up above the world you fly
Like a gateway in the sky
The shrew landed softly within one of the tea pots. The Mad Hatter placed the lid over, sealing him in there.
Judy clapped, amazed at the performance as they all took their seats. "That was beautiful."
"And now my darlin'," said the fox, "You said you were following someone?
The hare offered the bunny a new tea cup. She politely took as she answered the fox's question. "Yes, I was looking for a-"
"Clean cup! Clean cup!" yelled the fox, the second he saw that his cup was empty. "Move down!" The fox set Judy's cup down and took her paw, escorting her down the long table and forcing her to leave her teacup behind.
"But-But, I haven't even used my cup," she argued as the hare moved down behind them, tossing about every cup and kettle he came across.
The hare sang as they moved down:
Clean cup, clean cup,
Move down, move down,
Clean cup, clean cup,
Move down!
They finally stopped a few seats down. The Mad Hatter took a large teapot with three spouts and simultaneously poured tea into three cups. "Would you care for more tea, my dear Carrots?" he asked politely.
"Well I haven't had any yet," Judy replied as she struggled to pour tea from a somehow empty yet full teapot. "So I can't actually have more-"
The hare noticed and took the teapot from her paw. "Ah you mean you can't very well take less," he said as he cracked open the teapot like an egg and allowed the tea to pour into her cup.
Judy watched the scene with a hanging jaw. This place just never seemed to seize to amaze her.
"True, you can never take more than nothing," said the hat wearing fox as he poured a mountain of sugar on her tea cup.
Judy took the cup, not noticing until the sugar hit her lips, "But I only meant that-"
"Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!" the fox shouted again as he threw his full cup away.
"But I haven't-We just moved!" Judy argued in outrage as the fox pulled her from her seat.
"Move down, move down, move down, move down, mooove down!" chanted the hare as he shooed the rabbit forward.
They took new seats as the fox poured tea inside a tower of teacups. Despite him having poured into the top one, he took the bottom one and drank from that one instead, "Now my dear Carrots, you were saying that you were looking for something? Why don't you tell us all about it?"
"Yes, indeed," agreed the hare as he took a sip of tea, "Won't you start from the beginning dear girl?"
"Well, it all started when I was taking my studies with my sister and I spotted a mysterious white rabbit-"
The young hat wearing fox appeared to choke on his tea and spat it all out in shock, "A white rabbit?!" he shrieked with a mortified expression.
"Yes!" Judy smiled, believing she might finally get the answers she's been looking for, "Do you know him? I've been trying to find him for a while now and-"
"Why? Is he your cute bunny boyfriend or something?" the fox asked with jealousy.
"No!" the bunny replied, "I don't even know who he is! I'm just trying to-"
"Honestly girl, have you no shame? Chasing after strangers of the same species," the hare shook his head with a tsk. "Despicable!"
"What? No, I don't think you under-" she tried to explain.
"Ah, but that's the thing. If you don't think then you shouldn't talk," replied the hare. "I don't know why you seem infatuated with her Hatter, she's stark raving mad, this one."
"What?!" Judy replied offended, "Excuse me, but how am I mad when all I've been trying to do is get straight answers and you two actually mad mammals have been doing nothing but wasting my time!"
"The time?!" echoed the hare, "The time! Who has the time?" he called out loud.
Just then, the White Rabbit made his way to the tea party, "No, no, no! No time! No time! No time! Hello! Goodbye! I'm late! I'm late!" called out the nervous old rabbit.
"The White Rabbit!" Judy chirped with a wide grin.
The White Rabbit ran across the tea table, keeping a close eye on his large pocket watch, "Oh I'm so late! I'm so very, very late!"
The Mad Hatter grabbed the White Rabbit's pocket watch and pulled the small rabbit to him. The fox released his watch and grabbed him by his ruff. The taller fox stared at the small light colored rabbit with a jealous glare, "So this is your Prince Charming, Carrots?"
"Prince Charming? Wha? Huh?" asked the poor, confused white rabbit.
"I really don't see what you see in him," continued the fox, "He's kind of old and pudgey if you ask me," he whispered to her.
Judy scoffed in frustration, "I already told you he's nothing to me! I just wanted to know what he's late to!"
"Late?!" the White Rabbit shrieked in the fox's paws, "Oh dear, oh dear!" he looked at his watch, "I'm late, I'm late!"
The now relaxed fox grabbed his watch to look at it, "Well, no wonder you're late. This watch is exactly two days slow."
"Two days slow?!" uttered the White Rabbit in a panic.
"Of course you're late," the fox smirked confidently as he dipped the watch into a large pot of tea. He then slammed it open on the table. "We're gonna have to look into this." The hat wearing fox placed a salt shaker on his eye as if it were a monocular and poured salt all over the watch. "Aha! I see what's wrong with this!" he declared confidently. "This watch is full of wheels! We're gonna have to remove some," he said as he literally plucked off the wheels and sprockets with a fork.
"Oh my poor watch!" exclaimed the White Rabbit as the parts of his watch flew over him, "Oh my wheels! My springs!" he shouted as he attempted to reach all the pieces flying overhead. "But, but, but-" stammered the light rabbit in an attempt to stop the fox.
"Butter!" chirped the fox with a grin, "Of course! Why didn't I think of that! Butter!" he shouted to his hare associate.
"Butter!" repeated the hare into the White Rabbit's ear as he handed a stick of butter to the fox.
"Bu-bu-butter?" squeaked the White Rabbit. The Mad Hatter smeared butter all over the watch as the White Rabbit tried to stop him, "No! No! No! You'll get crumbs in it!"
"What're you talking about? This is the best butter!" the fox replied without a care and slamming the unused butter right smack into the White Rabbit's face - something that made him secretly happy despite Judy clarifying that she wasn't involved with the older rabbit.
"Tea?" offered the March Hare.
"Tea, of course! Good thinking!" the Mad Hatter poured the tea.
"No! Not tea!" yelled the panicking White Rabbit as the March Hare kept him from interfering.
"Sugar?" offered the hare.
"Sugar! Two spoons please." Rather than giving him two spoonfuls of sugar, the hare handed the fox two literal spoons, which the fox graciously accepted. "Thank you!" the fox smashed the spoons in.
"Be careful!" shouted the White Rabbit as he tried to charge the fox in a panic. As he ran, the March Hare snuck a jar of jam in his paws, which the Mad Hatter took from him.
"Jam, thank you."
"No, not jam!" cried the rabbit.
In all this time, Judy just watched them in complete and utter confusion. They couldn't possibly think that they were actually fixing his watch. Could they?
The fox smeared the jam as the hare offered him something new, "Mustard?"
"Musta-Mustard?! Don't be crazy March Hare. Now a pinch of lemon that's different." The Mad Hatter poured the drop of lemon and sealed the watch shut. Removing the excess food from the sides and declaring it fixed. "That should do it! All fixed!"
A second later, the watch started to ring and rattle in a very wild manner! It popped opened and began squirting out all of the food items added to it as well as some loose sprockets. "Uh oh," uttered the fox.
"It's going mad!" shouted the hare in a panic.
"Sweet cheese and crackers!" uttered Judy.
"Oh dear," squeaked the White Rabbit sheepishly.
"Mad watch! Mad watch! Mad watch!" the hare continued to shout in a panic. "There's only one way to stop a mad watch!" declared the March Hare, quickly grabbing his mallet and SMASHING the watch into pieces!
"Uh...hehe," The Mad Hatter chuckled nervously, pushing the broken watch back to its owner. "Two days slow. That's what it is."
The poor White Rabbit cried over the loss of his beloved watch, "Oh my watch! It was my most cherished unbirthday present."
"In that case!" cheered the hare as both he and the Mad Hatter grabbed the White Rabbit by an arm each.
A very merry unbirthday
Toooooooooo
You!
The fox and hare swayed him back and forth until finally tossing him clean out of their garden.
"Oh! Mr. Rabbit!" Judy called chasing after him.
"Hold on Carrots!" the Mad Hatter called to her before she could leave.
"What is it now?" Judy asked a bit exasperated.
The hat wearing fox, gently grabbed her soft cheeks, causing her frown to fade. "Before you go, I just wanted to tell you that if things don't work out with that old White Rabbit…"
Judy sighed frustratedly, "Mr. Hatter, I've already told you-" he silenced her with a soft paw to her lips.
"Not another word. Just know that I'll always be waiting here for you to come back. Know why?"
"Why?" she asked curiously and somehow entranced by him.
He moved his muzzle close to her ear, "Because somehow I know that no matter where you are or where you go. You are mine. You are my Carrots." Judy smiled bashfully with a small shudder of secret ecstasy. It was the same effect that stupid fox back home would give her. Why he had that effect on her, she'll never know. Even more surprising was why did this mad and crazy fox also have that same effect? It was pure madness!
The fox moved away from her with a wink as he returned back to his mad tea party.
Judy left the garden and sighed as she took one last look at the hat wearing fox and hare in the distance, "This may have been the stupidest tea party I've ever been to. But...at least the Mad Hatter was nice and...cute...in his own mad way." Judy smiled and headed back on her venture to find the White Rabbit.