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The wand felt warm between his fingers and thrummed with power. Voldemort smiled and Harry looked up at him. He hadn't seen a glimpse of that dark or the snake all day and he was glad of it…In fact he was absolutely overjoyed and it strengthened his resolve,
"Can you start teaching me now that I have a wand."
Voldemort chuckled softly and patted him on the cheek,
"You need to rest, Harry. You spent hours in the kitchen and before that you spent hours in the lake."
Harry frowned,
"But I don't feel exhausted."
Voldemort pulled away his hand and Harry felt him brush back a stray lock of hair from his forehead,
"You'll need all your energies when I start training you."
Harry nodded silently and looked down at the wand,
"Can I take it with me or will it stay here with you?"
He looked up and found a crease on Voldemort's forehead,
"Where do you wish to take it?"
Harry laughed softly and smoothed the crease on Voldemort's forehead with his thumb,
"To my room, of course. You told me to rest so I'm going to rest."
Harry realized what he was doing and pulled his hand away from Voldemort's forehead immediately. He took a step back and looked down at his feet,
"Umm…I guess I'll see you in a couple of hours then."
Harry was about to leave when he felt Voldemort's hands on his forearms. A shockwave of bliss flowed through him and all his nerve endings came alive and tingled with soothing pleasure,
"Stay here with me."
Every particle of his being wanted to say yes and agree so badly but…But, he knew what Voldemort wanted from him. He hadn't forgotten that kiss in the forest. The memory was still too fresh on his lips…he felt those scales on his skin, those tendrils of purple mist wrapping around his body and pulled away from Voldemort with a shiver,
"I'll see you later."
He hurried away from Voldemort. The more distance he put between them, the better it was going to be. He wanted to save Tom but not that way. He had a feeling, he would lose himself if he allowed Voldemort to have his way with him and then they'd both be beyond redemption.
He didn't go to his room. He made his way to the gardens and felt a sense of calm overtake him. Darkness had not long surrendered to the light. The sunrise meant so many things as it drifted down and ignited the colours of the garden. Harry felt his eyes smile and a rising coziness in his core. Harry walked on the path. Along the way, the rays revealed silken webs and grass wands of many hues, the rich browns of oak arms. Each waving leaf, told its own story to the wind with each dancing flutter. Harry sat down on the cool dewy grass and stared up. The sky glowed like a summer peach. Sunlight filled the sky, pure scattered light, its hue ambitiously illuminating each crevice of the land. Sparrows chirped an explicit background melody. With breath paused in his lungs, he wished time would halt. It was the perfect dawn, one to be savoured instead of squandered and he was so glad that he had come here instead of going back to his room. The sky remained beautiful regardless of went down in the world. That was the one thing that had kept his hopes up…if the sky could remain vivid and powerful, then so could he. Harry wished he had brought Tom…Voldemort…out here with him. Maybe it would soothe him too.
Harry wondered if Voldemort would teach him after he had refused to stay with him. He laid back on the grass and closed his eyes. He had been nothing but nice to him today. They had shared some wonderful moments and Voldemort had seemed happy. Keeping him happy was the only way he was going to save Tom but once again…he was stuck on how he was going to keep Voldemort pleased if he couldn't give him what he wanted. Voldemort had made it very clear yesterday that he desired him. Harry traced his lips with his finger and wondered what Voldemort had seen in him. He wasn't very attractive. His relatives had always said that he was an unsightly little boy and that was the reason he was never allowed to leave the shed when they had guests over. He pulled off his glasses and put them on the grass beside his head. Maybe Voldemort wasn't attracted to him. Maybe this was just a game to claim him and own him.
He stretched his arms over his head and sighed. Maybe it was just lust. Voldemort would bed him and then go back to hating him and torturing him. Maybe that was the only reason Voldemort was being so nice to him. He opened his eyes and stared blearily at the sky. Why was everything so complicated? He closed his eyes again and moved his fingers over the velvet soft and pleasantly cool grass. It didn't have to be complicated. He could just give Voldemort what he wanted and see what would happen afterwards. Harry scoffed at himself. No, if he gave himself up then Voldemort would go back to hating him. He wouldn't teach him magic…he wouldn't praise his cooking and he certainly wouldn't treat him like he was the best thing that had happened to this castle. Today with Voldemort, he had felt wanted…needed…He hadn't felt like he was a waste of space. He had felt special…almost cherished and he was too selfish to let that all go. Maybe…after Voldemort had taught him magic then he could offer himself up as a token of gratitude. That was fair, right? Right. Harry yawned and curled up on the grass. The exhaustion was finally catching up with him and he was sure that he would fall asleep here if he didn't get up soon.
When he reached his room, he found Bella asleep in her coffin. She was curled up on her side, leaving just enough space for him. His heart fluttered with joy. He was most certainly cherished here and the feeling was absolutely sublime. After pressing a kiss to her forehead and whispering an apology to her, he got into the coffin and snuggled into her. He was sure he had a wide smile on his face when he fell asleep.
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