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Harry woke up to a warmth he'd grown fairly accustomed to and murmured sleepily,
"Hey, Bella."
Bella let out an angry little huff and Harry opened his eyes fully. His head was on her shoulder and her face was inches away from his. Harry raised his hand and touched Bella's cheek softly,
"I'm sorry, Bella."
Bella turned to face him and spoke nonchalantly,
"Sorry for what? It's not like I was worried about you. It's not like I'd thought some infernal creature in this castle had gobbled you up or a thousand other ways you might have died."
Harry wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck,
"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry. I came to get my shirt last night but you weren't here and I figured you would be down at the blood cellars."
Bella huffed angrily again but wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer,
"Where were you?"
Harry nuzzled his head deeper and told her every tiny detail about his day…well he didn't mention the kiss…but apart from that he told her everything. Bella listened with rapt attention and when he got to the part where he had made the deal with Voldemort, Bella was mildly surprised but practically buzzing with excitement,
"What was the deal about?"
Harry took his sweet time and let the suspense build up. Bella pinched his arm lightly,
"Oh, tell me already."
Harry laughed and spoke,
"I had to impress him with my cooking skills if I wanted him to teach me magic."
Bella's eyes widened and she gasped,
"He said he'd teach you magic? Did you impress him?"
Once again Harry kept his face impassive and stared up at the stone ceiling. He knew that the opportunity Voldemort had offered him had been absolutely gold. Had he squandered it by declining Voldemort's offer to stay with him? Bella pinched him again and Harry snapped back to reality,
"Yeah I did. I spent most of last night in the kitchens and he was really impressed when I served it to him."
Bella's excitement was a tangible thing and Harry could feel it infecting him as well,
"And?"
Harry grinned and took out the wand from the pocket of his jeans. As soon as Bella set her eyes on it, she squealed,
"Is that a wand? He gave you a wand? I can't believe it!"
She hugged him tight and showered him with affectionate kisses,
"I am so happy for you. He gave you a wand that means he won't kill you…He's warming up to you."
Harry basked in Bella's affection and care and savoured it to the fullest. When Bella's excitement began to wind down she asked,
"Did you have your first lesson already?"
Harry shook his head and stared at the ceiling with a little bit of sadness and doubt creeping into his thoughts,
"Not yet…"
Bella's brow furrowed and she turned his head to make him face her,
"What's wrong, Sugar? Did something happen?"
Harry sighed and twirled a lock of her hair around his finger,
"He…ummm…"
Harry didn't know how to tell Bella this. He wasn't sure whether he should tell her this at all. Bella waited patiently for him to continue. Harry exhaled and spoke,
"He wanted me to stay with him in his chambers last night."
Bella instantly stiffened,
"He what?"
Harry closed his eyes and buried his face in her shoulder before mumbling out,
"You heard me."
Bella stroked his hair softly but Harry could feel the tension in her body. He hadn't meant to disturb her with this knowledge. Finally, she spoke in a reasonable voice,
"Maybe he didn't mean to say that in the way it came out."
But Harry knew and he knew that Bella knew too that Voldemort had meant exactly what he had said,
"I declined and now I think he won't teach me."
Bella pressed a kiss to his head and rubbed his back,
"It'll be alright."
Harry held her tight and hoped with all his heart that she was right,
"You know he could have forced you if he had wanted to. The Dark Lord is capable of anything. The very fact that he gave you a choice and respected your decision speaks volumes of how much he has warmed up to you."
That sounded logical but still not enough to lay his doubts to rest. Bella seemed to have sensed that and spoke,
"Why don't you go to him and find out rather than sit here and stew in your uncertainty?"
Harry nodded his head and traced his lips absentmindedly. What if Voldemort kissed him again? He wasn't ready to feel that onslaught of sensations again but every particle of his being craved it…yearned to feel that connection...Bella held his hand and Harry saw something like amusement and plain mischief dancing in her eyes,
"Are you attracted to him?"
Harry laughed but it sounded hollow. He hadn't considered it that way. Attraction to Voldemort…it sounded so wrong…. He had murdered his parents…He had ruined his life and on top of that he had tortured him and attempted to kill him… Besides he looked like a snake and that darkness…He didn't even want to think about the darkness that lingered around him. Only someone crazy would be attracted to a man like that…Oh…And the biggest reason he couldn't be attracted to Voldemort…He was a man…a man…
He was a little crazy, wasn't he? Sane people didn't go looking for trouble just to feel that thrill of adventure. This morning, he had only been thinking about pleasing Voldemort…he had been thinking about offering himself as a token of gratitude. He had been thinking about saving Tom. Even before that when he had thought about the kiss as he had sat by the lake, he had been thinking about betraying his parents, he had been thinking about Tom. He hadn't even thought of the fact that he had been kissed by a man and he had liked it…he had liked it…no matter how much he denied it...He could almost hear his uncle's disgusted voice sneering at him…telling him that he was a deviant…an unnatural freak…And he was right…his uncle was so right.
Bella was wiping away his tears and holding him close. Harry squeezed his eyes shut and drew in a deep breath,
"I'm fine…I'm okay."
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