Shoji with Shikamaru

Author's note: Neji and Kankuro talk. Then Neji meets up with Shikamaru for that shoji game. Yeah, this has been a long couple of days for Neji. Also: EMOTIONS ABOUND!

Awkward chapter cut again. Oops. Sorry? *sweatdrops*

Rated M for sex between male characters, swearing, and blood and guts

I don't own the characters but I am taking liberties with them and their universe.

Neji was exhausted the next day because of the late night coupled with Kankuro's interesting message in his flowers. The anticipation, anemone flower obviously meant Kankuro was anticipating a lot about their relationship. Amaryllis was a direct compliment to Neji and heather was a softer way of Kankuro letting Neji knew Kankuro cared. Sweet pea had been rather bold but Neji knew all about Kankuro's 'delicate pleasure.'

Kuma and Tora were giggling as Neji approached. Neji raised an eyebrow at the two as normally Kuma was kicking the posts. She had been but stopped when she saw Neji heading towards them. Neji blinked at the middle post where he normally sat to see two flowers sitting there, tied to the post by a delicate string.

One was purple, made up of tiny little flowers in a cluster. The other had three large purple petals with black markings and another purple petal in the back. Neji saw a note hanging off the string and picked it up.

Neji,

Hope you had a good time last night. I'll see you in the afternoon.

Kankuro

Neji looked to his giggling students who were blushing as they looked at him. Neji untied the string and sniffed the flowers. They smelled nice and looked good. This was all the knowledge he had.

"Well?" Neji asked.

Tora and Kuma kept giggling and flushing. Neji let out a breath then noticed Akino walking over. He looked at the flowers in Neji's hand, the note then the two girls. Akino muttered his word and Neji agreed.

"I guess those are from Kankuro-sama and they know what it means but you don't?" Akino questioned.

Neji inclined his head. Tora got a hold of her laugher and wiped her eyes under her glasses. She was still smiling and had a blush on the highpoints of her cheeks.

"The hyacinth is the purple one that looks like a bunch of little flowers all together. It means sincerity. The other is a pansy which means loving thoughts," Tora explained.

Kankuro hoped Neji had sincere, loving thoughts about their night. It also meant Kankuro wanted this to be a sincere relationship full of loving thoughts, or something. Neji flushed. This made Tora and Kuma started laughing again as Akino smirked.

"What kind of bouquet did he give you last night?" Akino asked.

Neji felt his cheeks go redder and the heat spread all the way to his forehead and ears. Damn it he felt like Hinata-sama whenever she saw Naruto.

"Anemone, amaryllis, heather, and sweet pea," Neji replied.

Tora and Kuma kept laughing. Neji seriously considered telling the Hokage to put males into flower-arranging and meaning. Men were the ones who tended to buy flowers for the women so it would make things much easier. She likely did not because of the Yamanaka Flower Shop. The Yamanaka would not have as much fun helping customers if everyone knew what their flowers meant.

"Well?" Akino questioned to the girls.

"Anticipation, splendid beauty, admiration, and delicate pleasure in that order," Tora got out.

Akino snorted but started laughing along with the girls. Neji huffed and looked at the flowers in his hand. If this was moving slow, Neji did not want to know what Kankuro's moving quickly was. He sighed and put the flowers back near the post, tying them gently so they would not blow away.

"All right, laps you giggle-pusses," Neji said.

They followed after him and Neji was glad for the opportunity to clear his head. He began smiling as they ran and Neji figured he liked Kankuro's method of courting. Being showered with affection was nice and the flowers were a sweet gift as girly as they made Neji feel. The little romantic gestures meant a lot to him when one former partner had been dog-like and somewhat brash while the other had been too lazy to care.

The day wore on as most days did and Neji found when lunch time rolled around he started to get a nervous fluttering in his stomach. Kankuro did not come for lunch and Neji began sparring with Kuma shortly after. He almost got kicked in the head more times than he wanted to count so distracted he was about seeing if Kankuro was coming.

Neji reluctantly called their training to a close at 4:30PM. His students knew what was going through his head. Tora and Kuma were pouting for him while Akino frowned. Neji ran a hand through his sweaty hair and let out a breath. He de-activated his Byakugan.

"Same time tomorrow," Neji said.

They nodded and began to walk away. Neji picked up his flowers from the post. He heard Kuma and Tora giggling again so looked up. Neji smirked.

Kankuro strode towards them with another flower in hand. Neji knew one was a calla lily. They happened to be his favorite, especially the white ones Kankuro held. He also knew these meant "regal" because Hinata-sama had told him when she asked what his favorite flower was. Neji's students left, the girls still laughing and Akino shaking his head.

Neji raised his eyebrows when Kankuro got to him, smiling, and held out the calla lily. Neji took it from his hand and sniffed it. This one he would ask Hinata-sama to press for him.

"Thank you," Neji said. "And I do happen to know this one means regal."

Kankuro chuckled at him before lightly pulling him in for a hug. Neji grinned as Kankuro kissed him softly, as if he was made of glass and would break. Neji deepened the kiss and moaned when Kankuro rubbed the back of his neck. Neji dropped his flowers again to wrap his arms around Kankuro. They pulled apart and Kankuro met his eyes.

"And Ino told me it's your favorite flower," Kankuro said.

Neji smirked.

"Did she also tell you the meanings of all the others?" Neji asked.

Kankuro flushed but nodded.

"Yeah, and giggled the whole time saying how much it would bug you to not know the meaning and telling me it's lucky you have two female cousins and students you can talk to," Kankuro said.

Neji chuckled. They kissed again and Neji felt his heart piecing back together, swelling in joy, and speeding up. He pulled away with a little breath and licked his lips. He was falling hard and fast.

"You okay?" Kankuro questioned.

Neji took a step back and let out a long breath. Kankuro frowned but waited, head tilted to a side in curiosity.

"I am but, remember how I said I needed time to get over certain issues? This isn't giving me time," Neji said.

Kankuro huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Then you said not to let you go the other night," Kankuro said.

"And you told my students we were taking this slow," Neji reminded him.

Kankuro blinked then sighed. He rubbed the back of his head and put his free hand on his hip, looking at the ground in thought. Neji frowned before picking up his flowers and trying not to fiddle with the stems.

"Right, slow, I'm not good with slow once I know the person I have feelings for has them back," Kankuro said.

He was still frowning and his shoulders were sagged. He had lowered both hands and his fingers were clenching and unclenching the material of his pants. Neji began picking at the stem of the pansy.

"I'm not even sure what these feelings are exactly," Neji said. "I do care about you and you have been nothing but amazing to me but again, I don't want to start this, whatever this is, as a rebound. I don't want to hurt you like that."

Kankuro smiled but did not come closer to hold him. Neji found he wanted the contact but did not move from his spot. Kankuro let out a breath and nodded.

"Fastest relationship ever," Kankuro said.

Neji glared at him and Kankuro held up his hands in apology.

"Sorry, sorry, badly timed joke. Stupid words come out of my mouth when I'm, um, upset," Kankuro said.

Neji gaped then chuckled. Kankuro rubbed the back of his head again.

"I didn't say it was over, just, we should slow down. I haven't even talked to Shikamaru yet and gotten closure on that," Neji said.

Kankuro hummed with a frown on his face but nodded. He smirked a moment later.

"Okay, no more flowers, and we won't go out again until you're good and ready. I'll still come see you while I'm here for the next few days but I won't touch you in any that I wouldn't touch a friend like Kiba. Okay?" Kankuro asked.

Neji smiled then nodded. Kankuro grinned but Neji could see the pain in his eyes. There was an urge to take the words back but Neji knew it would do neither of them any good if he jumped into a relationship right after having his heart stomped on.

"All right, I'll see you around," Kankuro said.

Neji let out a breath as Kankuro turned and began walking away from the training field. Neji waited until Kankuro was gone before rubbing his watering eyes. He blinked to clear them before teleporting back to the Hyuuga Compound.

Neji landed outside to the surprise of the children playing in the front gardens. Neji strolled by them easily and walked into the main door then into the front entrance. A bouquet of hyacinth and pink carnations sat in a vase on one of the little tables. Neji approached the bouquet, knowing the meaning behind the hyacinth.

"Sincerity and gratitude,"

Neji turned to see Hanabi-sama coming towards him from the hallway. She had a little grin on her face which widened when she caught sight of the flowers in his hand.

"Those are sincerity and loving thoughts," Hanabi-sama told him.

Neji sighed and she frowned. She saw whatever emotion Neji was trying to hide. He wasn't even entirely sure. Regret, sorrow, self-loathing, hatred, there was too much and Neji did not even know where to begin.

"I know, my students told me," Neji said.

"Hm, well these came from—" Hanabi-sama began.

"Kankuro," Neji finished.

She nodded, lightly touching a petal on one of the pink carnations. Neji frowned at the bouquet of "sincere thanks" and huffed.

"I told father what they meant," Hanabi-sama said.

"Lovely," Neji muttered.

Hanabi-sama gave him a look but he ignored it.

"You did have fun last night, right?" Hanabi-sama asked.

Neji nodded and rubbed his forehead. He was starting to get a headache.

"Hinata-sama told you about the issue with me and Shikamaru?" Neji questioned.

Hanabi-sama frowned but nodded. Realization washed over her face and she snorted. She shook her head, crossing her arms under her breasts and gave him a glare.

"You know I know. Forget about the bastard Nara and enjoy Kankuro," Hanabi-sama said.

Neji raised an eyebrow at her.

"It is not that simple which you will find out if someone you like rejects you," Neji said.

Hanabi-sama puffed air at him but nodded once. Neji let out a breath and strode away from her. She did not follow and Neji made it to his room without being interrupted. He put the flowers with the rest of his bouquet and lightly ran a hand over the petals of the lily.

"Those are pretty,"

Neji turned to see Shikamaru lying casually on his bed. Neji blinked, staring in awe, and stood stiffly as Shikamaru got off the bed with a sigh and strode over to him. Neji took half a step back when Shikamaru got too close and Shikamaru muttered his word.

"You didn't answer my note," Shikamaru said.

Neji pushed down the anger as well as an urge to cry. He ran a hand through his hair angrily and glared. Shikamaru winced. Neji found he was happy about it.

"Fine, shoji meaning you want to talk. Tomorrow at eighteen hundred hours at that little shop we like," Neji said.

"The one with the dragon shoji boards," Shikamaru said.

Neji inclined his head. Shikamaru nodded before slipping through Neji's window and disappearing into the evening. Neji let out a long breath and ran his hand through his hair yet again. He slammed his window shut and locked it before pulling off his clothing to clean up from training. When he was done he dressed in light clothing and joined his family in the main dining hall.

No one said a word as Neji picked at his meal and excused himself early. Neji settled into his room and sat at his desk, head supported on one hand to stare intently at the flowers from Kankuro. Also on his desk, a bit further back from the vase was a little keychain of a dove in flight Shikamaru had gotten him one birthday. Neji sighed. Damn Nara.

Today's training session had been good for Neji. He got to work out his body which helped him think. He knew he had to go talk to Sakura and Guy-sensei about training with Tora and Akino but there was too much in his head. He also had to work on Kuma's chakra control more but she was doing it well on her own. Neji was glad for it and called an end to training at their regular time.

He got back to the compound, showered then redressed in his regular clothing. Neji strode through the Konoha streets to the Dragon Shoji Parlor in the middle of the city. The owner beamed when he saw Neji and directed Neji to the red dragon room.

The parlor itself was a large open room with a bar in the back for drinks and simple snacks. Low tables with four chairs dominated but the tables were shoji boards. Timers could be moved to either side and there were always pieces on hand. Along one wall were closed off rooms that had a window looking into the gardens which ran along the side of the building. VIPS were the ones who were allowed to enter unless a person was willing to pay 3000 ryo for a more personal game.

Each room was marked with a different dragon and the inside of the room was colored to match the dragon. The red room had red pillows at the table with tapestries hanging on the two walls of red dragons in various poses. The table was redwood which meant the built-in shoji board had a red tinge.

The flowers right outside the window were red as well and the owner bowed to Neji, saying he would be back with green tea and some sweet cakes. Neji inclined his head in thanks and took one of the seats with a little sigh. Neji shifted until he was comfortable on the pillow in lotus position. He began setting up the board while he waited and thanked the owner when the man returned with the tea and sweet cakes. Neji had not eaten dinner but his stomach was twisting in too many knots for him to be interested in the cakes. In fact, looking at them made bile rise up in his throat.

Neji finished setting up the board as the door slid open. The smell of smoke hit him first and Neji let out a little breath through his nose and kept his frown back. He glanced up with his eyes to see Shikamaru striding in with the owner holding a red ashtray. The ashtray was set on the table as Shikamaru flopped onto his pillow managing to look graceful and boneless at the same time as looking completely lazy.

Shikamaru wore standard issue shinobi attire right down to the flank vest. He did wear a fishnet body suit under the pants and shirt which showed at his wrists and ankles. His hair was still spiky, tied high with a beat up white ribbon but tonight his flank vest was undone. The owner thanked them both, nodding, and left them alone.

Neji swallowed the bile in his throat and kept his expression neutral. He knew it did not matter. Shikamaru had become exceptionally adept at reading Neji's expressions, even the so-called blank ones. Neji huffed and decided this had been a stupid idea.

All the feelings Neji had thought he destroyed for Shikamaru came back. Neji recalled how Shikamaru would gently run a hand through Neji's hair from the scalp and running down slowly, leisurely until reaching the tips to curl them around his fingers. Neji remembered all the times Shikamaru held Neji's face in one hand, a little smile on his face as he studied Neji's face after sex.

Neji thought of the brush of their fingertips when they played shoji and the way Shikamaru half closed his eyes when they watched clouds together at one of his favourite spots. The smell of smoke lingering in his hair had been welcome at times as it meant he had a good few days with someone he cared about. Even the way Shikamaru drew little circles on Neji's back when they were cuddling together came to Neji's head and he sighed.

He still loved the damned Nara. Neji's heart had speed up and he was all ready half-hard thinking about the way Shikamaru's talented hands would caress his spine. Neji's throat had gone dry so he remedied this with tea. He noticed his hands trembled slightly and knew Shikamaru would see it.

This was the other problem. Shikamaru knew Neji, his every expression, secret, tell, and whatever else in between. With this knowing came the fact Neji did not have to explain much to the Nara. Kankuro knew little about Neji but at least the man tried. Still, Neji needed to sort out one issue at a time.

Shikamaru said nothing but did move a piece on the board. Neji countered and the game began. Neither spoke for several long moments but Neji knew Shikamaru had an inclination of what Neji was thinking thanks to how Neji played. Shikamaru stayed on the defensive and Neji knew it was because the Nara was waiting for Neji to start talking. Neji also knew Shikamaru was somehow more patient than Neji and would rather play a week's worth of shoji then start what would become a troublesome conversation.

"Temari spoke to me," Neji said.

"Yeah?"

Neji inclined his head in thought.

"She's staying in Suna for a month or more so you two can have time to think," Neji said.

Shikamaru nodded and moved a piece. Neji moved one of his.

"She also said you had not meant for me to find out the way I did and you wanted to know if you were serious about her before breaking it off with me completely," Neji said.

Shikamaru nodded but did not take his turn. Instead his dark eyes had met Neji's light ones and Neji let out a breath. His heart had not slowed down but he was glad he sat. If he had been standing he might have fallen over.

"She also said you wanted to talk to me but waited too long and told you to apologize to me. Is that what this is?"

Shikamaru shrugged with one shoulder and put his cigarette into the ash-tray, half finished. Neji followed Shikamaru's hand then met the shadow-nin's eyes. Shikamaru kept quiet and Neji knew the conversation was going to be one-sided. Neji wondered again why he had come but he had to do this before he could be with Kankuro in any sense of the word.

"I am sorry," Shikamaru said.

Neji hummed in acknowledgement. Shikamaru shrugged again, the same shoulder and half closed his eyes. He let out a sigh and blinked before leaning on the table with his forearms and tilting his head slightly to stare into Neji's eyes.

"I should've told you about Temari when she first said something to me but I didn't like any of the scenarios in how you would react," Shikamaru said.

Neji raised an eyebrow and Shikamaru muttered his word, rubbing the back of his head and closing his eyes as he did. He settled again but left his cigarette where it was.

"All of them included losing you as a friend and I didn't want to give you up. You mean as much to me as Choji or Ino," Shikamaru said.

Neji knew it was a compliment. Shikamaru had known Choji for most of his life. The two had bonded because Choji had not been invited to play a game of Shinobi with the others kids because of his weight. Shikamaru had tried to defend Choji and failed then found Choji in a cloud-watching spot with his father. They had shared a bag of chips and watched the clouds together. They had been five.

Shikamaru had not met Ino until they were eight and Inoichi had met up with Shikaku and Choza for a get-together. Apparently the little Ino had stuck to who would be her teammates like glue and had bothered them the whole night. Eventually she was brought into their regular cloud watching even before the three graduated from the Academy and were placed with Asuma.

To be told he meant as much to Shikamaru as Choji and Ino was a sort of backwards compliment. Shikamaru would never think of either of his teammates as potential mates. Neji let out a breath.

"Thank you for that at least," Neji said.

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his eyes. Neji had to admit the man looked like Hell. There were bags under Shikamaru's eyes and his face was greasy. His hair did not have the same shine it normally did and he had stubble on his face.

"I tell you things I can't tell Choji because he's too kind-hearted and as stupid as it sounds I don't want to taint him anymore than he is because of this life," Shikamaru said. "You know what it means to be a shinobi in full. You've seen the shitty parts of our lives, you've dealt with grief, and you can take it. Choji can't.

"I tell you things I can't tell Ino because she just wouldn't get it. She's a smart person but doesn't have the patience for explanations I would need to make her understand my line of thought. I don't need them to see me as an ANBU reserve or as a killer. I can't get them to understand me as much as you do.

"I need that kind of understanding in my life and I didn't want to hurt you by saying I wanted to date Temari. I hurt you anyway and you know I feel like an ass for it."

Shikamaru crushed his cigarette as it had burned down to the filter anyway. Neji said nothing. Shikamaru put his head onto his folded arms but kept his face up, eyes never leaving Neji's.

"Do I?" Neji asked.

Shikamaru sighed and sat up in what was considered straight for him. There was still a considerably slouch to his spine. Again he rubbed the back of his head, closing his eyes.

"You know I wouldn't do anything as troublesome as to sneak into the Hyuuga compound twice, once to give you a note and once to get a response to the note unless it meant something," Shikamaru said.

Neji frowned but kept his mouth shut. Shikamaru was not making whatever this was easy. The feelings Neji had inside only grew stronger and Neji wanted to hate Shikamaru for it but could not. Damn Nara.

"So where does this leave us?" Neji asked.

Shikamaru let out a long breath. He fiddled with the pocket of his flank jacket that held his cigarettes and lighter but did not take out a new one. Neji kept quiet as Shikamaru brought out the lighter and began opening it, flicking it on then closing it. This was Shikamaru's nervous habit. Shikamaru always thought of Asuma when he was nervous and the lighter was the one Asuma had used; the single position Shikamaru had of his old jonin-in-charge.

"I hope we can still be friends," Shikamaru said.

Neji hummed and saw Shikamaru frown. The shadow-nin knew what all of Neji's sounds meant. Shikamaru shifted, sighing and muttering his word as he went.

"We can be friends, right?" Shikamaru questioned.

Neji shrugged. He fiddled with one of the shoji pieces he had captured from Shikamaru and Shikamaru watched him. Shikamaru knew all of Neji's nervous habits as well as Neji knew Shikamaru's. It was the sense of knowing which had made Neji see Shikamaru as more than a friend.

"I have feelings for you and have for a while," Neji said.

He was probably three and a half months too late. Neji watched as Shikamaru digested this bit of information. Neji could tell the wheels were turning in Shikamaru's brain, hundreds if not thousands of possibilities playing out in Shikamaru's mind as they sat there. Shikamaru mumbled his trademark word and rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah, you mentioned that the other night," Shikamaru said. "Actually you said: "I had, still have, feelings deeper than friendship for him, have for months now. It was part of the reason I was okay with Kiba leaving our bed." Thanks by the way, she didn't know I had been sleeping with Kiba either."

Neji snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, lowering his eyelids. Shikamaru knew the expression meant 'tread carefully' and Neji waited. Shikamaru frowned.

"Then you went on about how I took all your firsts, fucked you while being with her then ignored you for a month after Temari and I became an item. Five years is a long time," Shikamaru said.

Neji frowned but did not drop his glare. Shikamaru began tapping the table with the index finger of one hand: an aggravated gesture.

"Told her I didn't tell you anything which was true then revealed how you snuck into my apartment through that troublesome sunroof to see us kissing on the couch. And yeah, I did know you knew when you got back. And yeah, I should have tried to smooth things over right away but have you ever tried to look at yourself when you're angry? And why would I want to smooth things over when you threatened to stop me from ever getting an erection? I could take that as a direct threat but decided not to because this is my fault and I admit to that," Shikamaru said.

Neji let out a breath and lowered his gaze. Shikamaru sighed and stopped tapping the table. He did rub the back of his neck again. Neji almost smirked when Shikamaru gave up and lit a cigarette. Shikamaru took a deep drag and kindly blew the smoke towards the window.

"I'm not going to sit here and put the blame on your for not telling me because you're right in saying I should have talked to you about Temari when she said she wanted to date me. But, that was a pretty asshole-ish thing to do," Shikamaru said.

Neji gritted his teeth and stared at Shikamaru, eyes unblinking and widened to give the full effect of the Hyuuga blank stare. Shikamaru scowled and took another drag from his cigarette.

"I don't blame you for it," Shikamaru said.

Neji huffed and relaxed his jaw and eyes. His head was starting to hurt. He felt Shikamaru watching him as he relaxed his stiffened shoulders and rubbed his temples. He sipped his tea but it had gone luke-warm and he hated drinking luke-warm tea unless he had no choice in the matter.

"Can we get past this?" Shikamaru asked.

Neji looked up at him with a frown. The giddy feeling he got whenever he saw Shikamaru would not go away. It was the same sort of feeling he got now for Kankuro. Neji damned his heart. Logically Neji knew he could not be more than friends with either man. Logic aside, Neji liked both men. Kankuro reciprocated the feelings and was willing to wait for Neji to be comfortable. Neji had to ask one thing though.

"Have you ever wanted to be with me as more than a friend with benefits?" Neji returned.

Shikamaru's face did not show a sign of shock and his eyes went dark. Neji said nothing as Shikamaru calculated whatever needing calculating in his head. He stopped and sighed. Shikamaru looked at the shoji board with a scowl.

"Whatever I say is going to make you mad," Shikamaru said.

"Then say it and get it over with," Neji told him.

Shikamaru snorted but met Neji's eyes. Neji saw regret there, a bit of anger, and something recognized as sorrow. Neji wanted to tell Shikamaru to stop but he needed to hear this.

"We can talk about anything and everything no matter what the subject: movies, the weather, the great philosophers, war tactics, missing Nin, our friends and their antics, the clouds, and everything in between. We can sit in complete silence and not feel the urge to fill that silence.

"When we meet up we automatically know what kind of talk we can take that day without having to say a word. We know when we need to play a quiet game of shoji, whisper secrets, or fuck the other's brains out without so much as a verbal indication. We have this understanding and knowing of the other no one else does. Plus you're the only person in our age group that can give me a challenge in shoji."

Shikamaru was never much for big speeches so getting two out of him in one conversation had to be some kind of record. Neji did not have good feelings about either speech. Shikamaru took a drag off his cigarette and exhaled towards the window. Neji waited.

"The sex has always been amazing, even without Kiba. I can see you melding into my apartment without causing much of a stir or changing things around and that's a benefit for me. You don't complain about my bad habits, understanding them, and taking them as they come. All that's great on paper for a romantic relationship and a person would be stupid not to have romantic feelings for someone they can be like that with."

Neji took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The smell of smoke had become strong enough for him to taste. Neji did not mind it. Other people would but Neji knew without having to ask the smoke had always reminded Shikamaru of Asuma. Asuma reminded Shikamaru of 'failure' which meant it made Shikamaru work harder to protect the people of the Leaf Village in the way he could as Konoha's War Leader.

"In this one instance: I'm a total idiot," Shikamaru finished.

Neji blinked. He lowered his head so he did not have to look at Shikamaru and tried to stop his eyes from going damp. It was a losing battle. Neji bit his lip, not even trying to mask it by biting the inside. He clenched his hands into fists in his lap and shook his head slightly so his hair would mask most of his expression. He knew all this was in vain. Shikamaru could tell how much he was hurting without needing to see his expression.

Shikamaru did not love him and never had, nor would he ever. Neji's feelings would not be returned. Neji wanted to smash the shoji table. He wanted to cry. He wanted to beat Shikamaru to a pulp. He wanted to scream until his throat was raw. He wanted to leave Konoha and never look back.

Instead all he did was sit on the pillow, staring at the shoji table and trying not to burst into tears. His heart broke all over again after all the work Kankuro had done to start repairing it. The feeling of emptiness filled his being again and Neji had to urge to go lie in his bed and not get out of it for a while.

"I'm sorry," Shikamaru said.

Neji closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He felt his hands trembling in his lap and clenched his fists harder. The pain helped in focusing his thoughts and Neji opened his eyes. The tears still threatened to fall but not as horribly now. He swallowed down the ball of emotion in his throat and blinked a few times. Now the tears were not so bad.

"You probably need some time away from me for a while," Shikamaru said. "I get that. Let me know if you're ever ready to talk to me again. I'll understand if you don't ever want to."

The funny part was Neji knew Shikamaru would understand if Neji never wanted to talk to Shikamaru again. Neji wished he could manage a laugh but no sound would come out. Shikamaru left the appropriate amount of ryo on the table to cover the tea and their time in the VIP booth. He stood and left, taking the smell of smoke with him as he closed Neji into the room alone.

Neji pursed his lips to keep back the tears again but knew Shikamaru would tell the owner to leave Neji alone for a while. Neji gave up on fighting his tears and wiped his arm across the shoji table in front of him. Pieces clattered onto the floor, hitting the window with pings, but Neji did not care. He put his head in his hands and cried.

Reviews welcome, next chapter coming soon.