Bloodline

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Chapter 23: Libido issues

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This chapter might be insufferable for some readers since it contains Bucky pleasuring himself in a desperate attempt to gain control again. Despite having sent a preview to a couple of reviewers who, expect for one, said it was perfectly okay (and the last one wasn't quite convinced but okay with with it), I still fear you might hate me for it. Please don't. All will be alright. I still don't understand how I got that idea about the drug in general, but it's a useful plot device XD

Also there was the request that I write more about the domestic life with Alexei.

As an answer I put in a little trip to the Barton farm house so I have a good setting in the chapter after this. (Have only written the outline and some ideas are welcome.) The start for this is already written. Nat's on the way to the Barton's. ^^

Just finished a huge chunck of the chapter. Please tell me about mistakes. My beta only has time tomorrow, but I wanted to give it to you now.

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"I need your help, Steve."

"What's up?" He could tell from the unhidden distress in her eyes that something bad must have happened.

"He was in the gym for a few minutes, judging by the state of all the training equipment James must have tried to let off some steam by pushing himself to the limit. Or using them past their breaking point." Stark would be mildly annoyed… "Then he locked himself in the showers and doesn't let anyone in."

"Natasha, I don't understand. What...?" Then he saw how carefully she was holding her wrist, how blue color peaked beneath the long sleeve. "Did he fight with you?" Steve knew how strong Natasha was but compared to Bucky she had only her flexibility to conquer him. What if he…?

Always the ignoramus… "Not exactly. We gave it a try and… he got a little rough. But it's nothing serious, really." She lifted her shirt to show him the bruising which, considering her enhanced body, would heal in a matter of days. "Yet now he's…"

"I'll try to talk to him. Go to Stark or Banner. It looks broken." He told her with a grimace.

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He could hear the shouting and growling as soon as he was near the gym. Something, probably a metal fist, was rammed into the wall. The sound of broken tiles and concrete crumbling to the floor. Steve could hear curses in Russian and a somehow weird timbre in the man's voice he couldn't quite decipher yet.

"Buck?" He asked carefully and the person inside the shower cabin stilled.

"Go away!" James sounded distressed, not only because of anger about losing control, but also of shame.

"I won't leave until you have calmed down again." He stated like the white knight in shining armor, always trying to save those he cared about.

"I can't calm down. That's exactly it." Bucky hissed in frustration.

Steve could hear movement and a suppressed groan from behind the doors. His hand went to the doorknob, although he already knew it was locked from the inside.

"Don't come in." It was more of a plea than a warning.

"But why? Bucky, I want to help you."

"Just stay away. I'll handle this myself." More movement and a suppressed groan.

His mind was racing with ideas of what happened in there. Was Bucky hurting himself? Whatever he did was painful but somehow also… "I won't leave until you tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want you to see me like this." The Soldier pressed out with a grunt.

"I have surely seen you doing worse." Now he was really afraid.

"Just leave until this is over."

Before Steve could ask what was over he heard another groan of pain. He couldn't help himself anymore and finally kicked the door open. The sight he was presented with made him stare in shock.

Bucky was naked and shivering with exhaustion, sweat glistening on his body, his hair damp and tousled. All around him was debris from when he hit the wall and also…

"I told you to leave me alone," Bucky groaned with his eyes closed. Now his cheeks blushed even more, because of shame this time. He hadn't stopped moving his metal arm yet, couldn't stop. With a growl he grabbed his maleness even tighter and emptied himself onto the floor before collapsing. His entire body shivered with exhaustion but he was still hard, so he kept his hand moving.

Steve couldn't process what he was seeing. The Captain simply didn't understand why… Yes, of course, he was no idiot. He knew how to find pleasure when there was no one to help, and Steve also knew what his enhanced body made him capable of. Refractory period wasn't really an issue in the Super-Soldier department. But this… was madness. "Why?" He couldn't say anything else while he tried to find a way to help his friend.

"HYDRA's drug," James gasped with his eyes still shut. He just wanted to die right now, of shame, of frustration, of… "To make sure... " He tried to breathe but it was a labored groan. "... I knock up Natalia. Has side effects." He wanted to explain, seeking help. "Doing it myself makes it… only worse." He stroked himself harder, the metal now bruising his skin enough to rub it raw and drawing blood. "Can't stop…" He sobbed in shame.

Steve calculated his options. There weren't much that would allow Bucky keep at least a little bit of his dignity. He knew how cruel HYDRA could be, had seen it during the war and also how they had treated Natasha when she was the incubator for their new generation of soldiers. But this… was madness. The Captain saw no other way. He did a quick combo on Bucky, rendering him unconscious without doing much damage.

Bucky heard him moving in on him but couldn't pay any more attention to it. He just let it happen when Steve struck him hard. "Thank you…" James whispered before the world darkened and he finally felt the true relief of falling asleep.

Now that Bucky was knocked out Steve took a moment to breathe and assess the situation. He couldn't drag him to Bruce in a state like this. So the Captain turned on the shower, making sure it wasn't cold and washing away all traces of what had happened. Then he wrapped his friend in one of the towels Stark had provided and gently lifted him in his arms.

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When he entered Bruce and Tony's favorite floor he already saw Natasha sitting on one of the tables while the doctor took care of her wrist. She looked into the distance at first, her cheeks slightly blushed as well and with anger shadowing her usually calm features. Then she noticed him and her face got even darker than before. She said a few words to Banner before he finished wrapping the bandage around her wrist and turned to the newcomers as well.

"How is he? Oh my god, what…?" Bruce seemed shocked as he saw the broken man. His hair was wet and the towel didn't hide the wounds he must have inflicted upon himself. All knuckles on his right hand were bloody, exposing what could be bones.

Tony stepped in and prepared one of the beds. "Put him here." After Steve had followed his orders he started to analyze the damage. "Bruce, I need something to clean these wounds."

"I'm on it." The doctor rushed to get everything ready while Steve walked over to Natasha.

"You're okay?" The Captain asked and his mouth formed a thin line as he watched the two scientists work.

"Yeah, it'll heal quickly. Steve, what did he do?" There was so much fear and concern in her voice.

How could he tell her? Should he even? Rogers was about to calm her with some soothing words and then urge her to leave when Tony lifted the towel enough to get a glance at Bucky's naked hips.

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt..." With a grimace as if imagining how something like that would feel like he draped the cloth back over him.

"What? What did he do?" She asked with a hoarse voice.

"Let's just say that metal arm plus erection isn't a good idea." He took off the gloves and made his way out. "Be back in a sec. I might have something to... help him."

"Oh, I think he's coming to." Bruce warned as he saw the Soldier's body seizing.

"James..." She carefully put her hand on his shoulder but he merely shirked away with a pained growl.

"Please, go. Not now." He didn't want her to see him like this. Hell, could it get any worse?

Steve stepped in to help. "Natasha, I think we should give him a moment. Come on, let's get some fresh air and come back later."

"No, damn it. This is my fault. I have to..."

It was then that Tony came back in. "You'll only make it worse."

With an angry huff Natasha got up and stormed out of the room. God, this was all so awkward.

As soon as she was gone James laid his newly cleaned and bandaged arm over his face and gave a mixture between a sob and a growl. "Just leave me, please."

"No, we're gonna help stabilize you." He handed him some pills and a glass of water but the Soldier pushed him away. "You want to keep that proud example of male perfection or not?"

"If it stays as troublesome I might reconsider." He joked without humor but obediently swallowed the meds.

"What did you give him?" Bruce whispered.

"Oh, just something that helps with a viagra overdose." He saw the disbelief in his friend's eyes and continued. "I have a few older buddies who told me about this recipe."

"I'll give him a sedative as well." Going by Barnes' vitals the man was already past exhaustion, only kept awake by the effects of HYDRA's drug.

Tony watched as Barnes simply let it happen, his consciousness quickly leaving him as soon as the drug worked. He gave a sigh before continuing. "Okay, I am open to suggestions."

"HYDRA's drug is highly effective and can't be reduced by us without much effort. As far as I know self pleasuring only makes it worse. But he got the drug under control a few times already as far as he told me. So that means Natasha is the key. By my calculations sexual intercourse with the person he wants is what makes him calm down again."

"So, he's got to have sex with Red?" Tony deadpanned.

Bruce looked much more uncomfortable now. "Yes. That would be the best solution until his body can stand up against the effects of the drug."

"And how do we let that happen? I mean, he smashed her wrist during petting." Tony bit his lip.

"Yes, I see this issue as well. He is stronger than her and even her flexibility and swiftness can't stand up against that when it… well, when they go further." Bruce didn't see a way out without any of them having troubles later on.

"But let's just assume they do it. Would it help him for a few days or weeks?" Tony tried to find out.

"Surely. If he gets his satisfaction the effect would be minimal." Bruce argued and looked at his friend. "Do you really think it's a good idea?"

"You have seen Nat fight. She can do it."

"And she wants it." Bruce said without realizing his mistake. That was too much private information.

Yet despite his repute Stark handled this very well. "Okay, let's just make sure no accidents happen…" He already had something in mind.

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As soon as he had finished wrapping his present and storing it out of sight he waited for the Soldier to wake up again. He should feel much more relaxed now but Tony was sure the shame would be… terrible. So he tried to sort his arguments in a way he would want to hear them himself.

"Oh, where am I?" Bucky murmured as soon as he was able to form a sentence again. He coiled on the bed and tried not to touch any aching parts of his body.

"Pal, we really need to talk about your troublesome libido." Tony started.

The Soldier turned his head away from him. "There's nothing you can do. I'll take care of it myself."

"It didn't seem to work out so well last time. I know this is all your lone wolf act to keep others away from harm now that you are converted. But we are all friends here and we take care of it each, might it be absurd or not. You got any idea how often I've seen Bruce naked after his transformation? What would you have done there anyway? Continued until every every drop of liquid had left your body and you passed out from dehydration?" Yes, the sarcasm was intended.

He huffed. "But at least I'd be spared of you of all people trying to fix what you surely got a good look at."

"Yeah, well, Nat's a lucky girl." Tony chuckled.

Barnes actually raised an eyebrow at that. "So what would you do in my position when the itch starts? Dull your senses with weed and put some relaxing med cocktail in your drink?"

"Well, that's what I'd do if Pepper wasn't around but in your case I am not sure if that's of any use." Tony started to theorize.

"Then what is?" He asked, clearly not satisfied with the answer thus far.

Stark clicked his tongue. "The drug they gave you is a wicked little thing. You can't get satisfaction elsewhere. Only your chosen one is enough."

James growled angrily. This wasn't a solution.

Okay, time to set the course. "If your body gets what it wants, and yes, I am talking about Nat here, it's satisfied."

"I could kill her." He deadpanned.

"She'll kill you first." He answered without a second thought which made Bucky stop his argueing for minute. "Now Red's prepared for everything. I have faith in her. She knows how to handle you."

Insulted Bucky slammed his metal fist onto the small table next to him, smashing the wooden structure in the process. "You think?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as he saw Stark flinching.

But his distress what quickly replaced by the enthusiasm of an engineer finding a solution to a mechanical problem. "I know I am a bit bold here, but as a mechanic… I just can't resist." He pointed at his metal limb. "That arm of yours. I might have a couple of ideas."

The Winter Soldier retreated, defense and uncertainty in his demeanor. "Ideas?" Suspicion laced his voice. Did he want to spy on HYDRA's ideas for his own benefit?

He understood that look in Barnes' eyes. "No, that's not my intention. Of course, I am curious. But I can help you. For example, I could create synthetic skin to cover the metal."

Bucky wanted to huff in annoyance. That was nothing new.

Tony raised his index finger as if to scold him. "You should know me by now. I am an overachiever. I've been working on a side project; something that just might give you the same thing as actual skin. Nanites."

James lifted an eyebrow in confusion. "Gnats?"

"No, not tiny bugs. Microscopic robots that are the size of human cells, that can imitate real skin. Anyone who touches them will not be able to tell where your real skin ends and nanites begin."

"I will be the judge of that." Natasha interrupted them from the doorway.

If this were any other situation he would have marveled at her skills, sneaking like the perfect spy. But right now he wondered how long she had been standing there already. James tried to read her face but she was offering no information. What if she...? Oh, God. Please...

Noticing that Barnes needed a moment to get himself under control again Tony picked up where he left off before Natasha had spoken. "Can I continue? The nanites can even transmit sensations to your brain. You would even be able to feel everything your arm touches."

The first textures he could think about were Natasha's silky hair, her soft lips and… James tried to swallow and concentrated hard not to picture this right now. Not when she was also in the room. His tamed libido stood up to attention once again and he blushed. Trying to hide it he let his hair fall down over his face while his hands clenched into fists. No, no, no...

Natasha studied the room and saw the broken bedside table. Whatever had occurred here must have sparked the Winter Soldier's wrath. "Well, try not to destroy anything while you work on that little new pet project." She carefully wrapped it into a joke. Fiddling with the arm wouldn't be easy for James, so she gave him the impression that this would be more fun than hard work and could never go wrong.

"I promise the arm won't have a 'Mark 42' on it." Tony said with a smile.

"I'll hold you to that." Natasha smiled as she entered further, trying to keep a certain distance since she had seen Barnes flinching.

Tony stood up proudly. "There might be some drawbacks and failings but you know always get there in the end. And anyway, I am much further along the path than usually. It would only mean calibrating and testing on his side, nothing harmful."

"Keep him alive and without permanent damage." When the mobile vibrated in her pocket she angrily turned away and pushed the button. "What?" Natasha almost shouted into the phone.

"Whoa, Nat, calm down. It's only me." He tried to defend himself.

"Clint?" She lowered her voice. "What's up?"

"I've got good news." His voice was so carefree and utterly happy.

"Oh, no way." She could barely contain her excitement, walking over to the corner of the room to get some privacy.

"Yes. And I wanted to ask if you'd like to come by for a few days. I've heard you might need some time away from everything. Alexei would surely enjoy to meet kids his age. And it's safe here." A few minutes ago he had a talk with Banner about the issue and tried to help his friend.

She bit her lip. "Clint, I'm not..."

"Laura would be glad for your help. We're outnumbered here." Clint quickly countered before she could raise any objections.

Natasha looked at Bucky appearing more pained whenever she was around. "Okay, I'll drop by." She shoved her phone back into her pocket.

"There is some sort of non lethal emergency at Clint's. I want to drop by and that's also a good chance to get Alexei out of the tower. The place is remote and I'll be careful. You're okay with that?" She asked in a way that seemed almost casual.

Having his son away from him for more than a few hours was new to him. He had to protect his offspring at any cost. But when she was involved the boy would surely be safe. And that's what they had talked about. Also the fact that it wasn't a public place she took him to was assuring. "You're his mother. When you think it's alright, I trust you." With everything in my heart, he finished.

Natasha saw the last words despite hearing them. "It'll give you some time to cool down and get in proper shape again." In an afterthought she finished. "I want you to be happy, James." After the words left her lips she regretted them. Was that too much? "Anyway, I'll leave right now. You're okay, right?"

He could only nod as she quickly left the room. What had happened that her entire being had altered so much in a matter of seconds? James wondered why her expression had changed from anger to longing this quickly. There had been tears in her eyes and the little curve of her lips had almost been a smile. Wherever she went it meant much to her and would not pose a threat.

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Yesterday I went COSPLAYING again. So excited. Took some Black Widow pics in the forest for the "The Name of the Rose" comic. And yes, for this fanfic I will rewrite that storyline so that Barnes is the one who knocked her at the age of 15. Have a look at it if you like ^^

use your normal deviantart pic url and put that one here in: art/Black-Widow-Cosplay-Name-of-the-Rose-Marvel-Comic-655802239

Until a few hours ago I wanted to put the chapter about Barton and Laura in there as well but since I have almost reached page 10 I think I'm gonna keep that for the next chapter to update more often. (Something to look forward to. Always enjoy that when I read fanfics. ^^)

I haven't written it yet, except the outline, so any funny ideas are welcome. Please review with some ideas or wishes if you have any. Or just if you like something I wrote. Comments keep me going. (That's one of the reasons I didn't draw tonight but wrote 3 pages in less than an hour XD)